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Quotes for
Wrigley (Character)
from Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

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Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
Miles Massey: I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Marylin Rexroth: Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender: No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Wrigley: Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender: Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
Wrigley: Miles's house.
Freddy Bender: Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.

Wrigley: Uh, I'll just have a, um, salad, please. Um, baby field greens.
Nero's Waitress: What did you call me?
Wrigley: Uh, no, I-I... I-I didn't call you anything.
Nero's Waitress: You want a salad?
Wrigley: Yeah. Do you... Do you have a, uh, green salad?
Nero's Waitress: What the fuck color would it be?

Rex Rexroth: Have you sat before her before?
Miles Massey: No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit.
Rex Rexroth: Well, have you sat after her before?
Wrigley: Sat after her before? You mean, have we argued before her before?
Miles Massey: The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge.
Rex Rexroth: So, have you argued before her before?
Wrigley: Before her before, or before she sat before?
Rex Rexroth: Before her before. I said, before her before.
Wrigley: No, you said before she sat before.
Rex Rexroth: I did at first, but...
Miles Massey: Look, don't argue.
Rex Rexroth: I'm not. I'm...
Wrigley: No, you don't argue. We argue.
Miles Massey: Counsel argues.
Wrigley: You appear.
Miles Massey: The judge sits.
Wrigley: Then you sit.
Miles Massey: Or you stand in contempt.
Wrigley: And then we argue.
Miles Massey: The counsel argues.
Rex Rexroth: Which you've done before.
Miles Massey: Which we've done before.
Rex Rexroth: Ah.
Wrigley: But not before her.

Wrigley: Why are we eating here?
Nero's Waitress: What's his problem?
Miles Massey: Just bring him an iceberg lettuce and a mealy tomato wedge smothered with French Dressing.
Nero's Waitress: And for you?
Miles Massey: Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham.
Nero's Waitress: Slaw Cup?
Miles Massey: What the hell.

Wrigley: What do you think?
Miles Massey: What are they, ladles?
Wrigley: Berry spoons.
Miles Massey: Spoons?
Wrigley: Berry spoons. Everybody has spoons.
Miles Massey: And nobody *needs* berry spoons.
Wrigley: Everybody eats berries.
Miles Massey: Who are you, Pollyanna? Where'd you see 'em at? A Martha Stewart catalog right next to the silver napkin rings? Stadium seat ass-warmers?

Wrigley: Who needs a home when you've got a colostomy bag?

Miles Massey: Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. What do they have in common?
Wrigley: [thinks] Middle name?

[Wheezy Joe has just accidentally shot himself]
Wrigley: Told him it was no go...

Wrigley: Rex, sit!

[the two are sneaking into what used to be Miles' house, now Marylin's, to find Wheezy Joe]
Miles Massey: Looks like she's gone... looks like she bought it.
Wrigley: Good stuff! There's no one here.
Miles Massey: Except for the rottweilers.
[Uncaps and shakes his can of mace]
Wrigley: Sure, rottweilers.
[Also uncaps and shakes his can of mace]
Miles Massey: Go that way.
[They sneak away in opposite directions]

Wrigley: Who are you looking for?
Miles Massey: Tenzing Norgay.
Wrigley: Tenzing Norgay? That's someone she slept with?
Miles Massey: I doubt it. Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa that helped Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest.
Wrigley: And Marilyn knows him?
Miles Massey: No, you idiot. Not the Tenzing Norgay. Her Tenzing Norgay.
Wrigley: I'm not sure that I actually follow that.
Miles Massey: Few great accomplishments are achieved single-handedly, Wrigley. Most have their Norgays. Marilyn Rexroth is even now climbing her Everest. I wanna find her Norgay.
Wrigley: But how do you determine which of the people on here are...
Miles Massey: How do you spot a Norgay?
Wrigley: Yeah.
Miles Massey: You start with the people with the funny names.

Miles Massey: Your Honor, I call Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy.
Bailiff: Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy.
Guard #1: Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy!
Guard #2: Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy!
Guard #3: Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy!
Freddy Bender: Problem?
Marylin Rexroth: Puffy.
Guard #4: Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy!
Wrigley: Tenzing Norgay.

Wrigley: You had a guy break into her house and photograph her address book?
Miles Massey: No, Wrigley. I happened to let a man know that I was interested in her address book.

Wrigley: Rex Rexworth kept everything. You win, no compromise. Isn't that what you wanted? Good God, Miles. What are you looking for?
Miles Massey: I don't know.

Miles Massey: I intend to devote myself to pro-bono work in East Los Angeles, or one of those other... God bless you all.
Wrigley: I love you, man.

Wrigley: Thank God you have the pre-nup.
Miles Massey: I have no pre-nup.
Wrigley: You have no pre-nup.
Miles Massey: I have no pre-nup.
Howard D. Doyle: [distorted] You have no pre-nup.
Wrigley, Miles Massey: Aaaaaagh!