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: We might be in a little bit of a pickle, Dick.
: Son of a bitch! Jane Harper
: That fucker! Dick Harper
: Hon, language.
: [after watching the news saying he is going to be indicted
] Indicted? Jane Harper
: Dick? Dick Harper
] Indicted! Jane Harper
: Dick, its gonna' be alright. Dick Harper
: [starts running around house screaming
] Indicted, Indicted, I'm being Indicted! Jane Harper
: [Yells to him in a different room
] Dick calm down. Dick Harper
: [Runs back in to bedroom
[In pitiful voice
] Dick Harper
: I can't calm down, I'm being indicted...
: I went to this Botox Experiment, and I had a little accident... does it really look that bad? Dick Harper
: No. Just... different. Day Laborer
: Hey Dick, can we talk about these some other time?
: [holding McCallister at gunpoint
] I've been terminated, bankrupted, deported and blackmailed because of you, and I'm not leaving here without your money. Jack McCallister
: What are you gonna do, Dick? Shoot me if I don't approve that form? Dick Harper
: Write me a check. Jack McCallister
: You are kidding me. Jane Harper
: Dick, it's not going to do us any good. He's just going to cancel it the minute we walk out of here. Dick Harper
: I don't care... I don't care. I'm not walking out of this bank empty-handed. Jack McCallister
: ...Alright. Alright, Dick, I'm gonna write you a check. I'm gonna need my hand back though. Dick Harper
] Jack McCallister
: Alright, yes sir, I'm gonna write you that check, and what's more I'm not gonna cancel it as soon as I leave the bank because I think it takes alotta cojones to do what you two have done here today, and I admire that. So, here you go. Just a little something to show you what I think you're worth.
[hands him a check for $100
] Jack McCallister
: Y'all take care now.
: [posing as a Jeet Kun Do instructor
] My name is Jane and I'll be your instructor here today for beginners' Jee Kum Pow.
: Our lawn was repossessed today. I didn't know they could even do that.
: [sees her lawn getting repossessed
] Hector, what's going on? What, what happened? Hector
: Your check go bouncy-bounce. But it's okay, I heard what happened to your husband. Not everybody can afford landscaping like this. Jane Harper
: Hector, please! Hector
: I am sorry, Miss Jane. Jane Harper
: [sees her neighbor
] Oh, no. No, no, no, no, NO! This is all- everything is all WRONG! I want this out. Roll it all up! I ordered Kentucky Bluegrass! This! Is! GREEN!
: Interesting that the only two jobs you think I am qualified for are a secretary and a prostitute. Dick Harper
: You're not qualified to be a secretary.
: Do you mind if I kiss you in a public place? Jane Harper
: I'd mind if you kissed me in a private place with all these people around.
: What kind of lunatic spends $1000 on lunch when he's out of a job and deeply in debt? Dick Harper
: The kind that knows you can't get a job if you look like a loser. Jane Harper
: If I was Diners Club, I'd your stomach bronzed and put it in the Hall of Fame.