Harry Sanborn
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Quotes for
Harry Sanborn (Character)
from Something's Gotta Give (2003)

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Something's Gotta Give (2003)
Harry: I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?

Erica Barry: I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't great.
Harry: Let's just calm down. I had these plans before I even met you. I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.
Erica Barry: [scoff] Yeah.
Harry: I'm always surprised by it.
Erica Barry: Surprised by it? What was I thinking?
Harry: I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
Harry: Will you cut me a little slack? My life has just been turned upside down.
Erica Barry: Mine too!
Harry: Well, then let's just each get our bearings.
Erica Barry: I don't want my bearings. I've had my bearings my whole goddamn life. I feel something with you I never really knew existed. Do you know what that's like, after a 20-year marriage to feel something for another person that is so...? That... Oh, Right. Right. Not your problem. God. Do you know that I've written this, but I never really got it? Do you know what this is?
Harry: No.
Erica Barry: [Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How's that for impervious.
Harry: You're killing me.
Erica Barry: I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.
Harry: Me too.
Erica Barry: That is a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you I knew how to do that. I could do that forever. But now look at me. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with all this?
Harry: Erica. Can you wait just a second? The truth is, I... I just... I don't know how to be a boyfriend.
Erica Barry: That's what you have to say after all of this? That you don't know how to be a boyfriend?
Harry: That's not a small thing.
Erica Barry: [shakes head] Are we done?
Harry: I don't know.
Erica Barry: Oh, my God.
[Erica gets in taxi and drives away]

Harry: Erica, you are a woman to love.

Harry: I just have one question: What's with the turtlenecks? I mean it's the middle of summer.
Erica: Well I guess I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal.
Harry: You never get hot?
Erica: No.
Harry: Never?
Erica: Not lately.

Harry: I've never seen a woman that age naked before.
Julian Mercer: You're kidding.
Harry: Hey! We're not all doctors, baby.

Harry: Schmucks are people too.

Julian Mercer: The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.
Erica Barry: I like that about me.
Harry Sanborn: Me too.
[At the same time as Harry]
Julian Mercer: Me too.
Erica Barry: If I were writing this, this is where I would write "an awkward moment".
Harry Sanborn: Honey, if you were writing this, I'd be DEAD!

Erica Barry: You know what, Harry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends.
Harry Sanborn: Friends? I'm not ready to be your FRIEND!
Erica Barry: Fine, I understand.
Harry Sanborn: And anyway, do you really buy that horseshit that a man and a woman can be friends after they've had sex?
Erica Barry: I'm friends with my ex-husband but then again, we didn't just have sex.
Harry Sanborn: We didn't just have sex either.
Erica Barry: Then what was it? I'd love to know.
Harry Sanborn: Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?

Erica Barry: I DO like sex!
Harry Sanborn: You certainly do.

Harry Sanborn: I love ya.
Erica Barry: Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'
Harry Sanborn: You're not like anybody.

Harry Sanborn: I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.
Erica Barry: I think I'm mad at you too.
Harry Sanborn: Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...
Erica Barry: You... worry about ME?
Harry Sanborn: Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
Erica Barry: Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!

Julian Mercer: Look who's answering the door!
Harry Sanborn: Look who's at the door!

Harry Sanborn: I can't get past your damn turtleneck.
Erica Barry: Cut it off!

Harry Sanborn: Some people consider rap poetry.
Erica Barry: C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?

Harry: [after a kiss] Soft lips.
Erica: I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick... and whistling.

Erica Barry: [after kissing Harry passionately for the first time] I'm... I'm sorry.
Harry: For what?
Erica Barry: I... I just kissed you.
Harry: No, honey. *I* kissed *you*.

Harry: [after Erica tries to get Harry arrested] You don't understand... i'm dating your daughter.
Erica Barry: Oh my God! Your dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that was worst news?

Marin: Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.
Zoe: Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!
Erica Barry: That's wonderful!
Harry: Women your age love that about me.
Erica Barry: Ah.
Harry: No, that's a good thing.
Erica Barry: I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.
Harry: Yes, it was meant as a compliment.

Harry: Where's Julian?
Erica: He's back at the hotel. He said when he saw me with you, he knew I was still in love with you... what do you have to say about that?
Harry: If... if it's true, my life just got made.

Erica Barry: What are you doing here, Harry?
Harry: Turns out the heartattack was easy to get over. You... were something else. I finally get it. I'm 63 years old... and I'm in love for the first time in my life.

Harry: [to a madly irritated Erica] I don't think I've ever had this effect on a woman before.
Erica Barry: What effect do you think you're having on me?
Harry: I don't quite recognize it. That's how I know I never had it before.

Harry: Oh. *Her*. She is a *major* piece of work. Doc, the woman wears turtlenecks in the middle of summer: she's *beyond* uptight. Almost makes her fun to be around.
Julian Mercer: Uptight. That's funny, I haven't noticed that.
Harry: Try living with her.

Harry: What about birth control?
Erica Barry: Menopause.
Harry: [grinning] Who's the lucky boy?

Erica Barry: [Harry walks in, with her naked] Ahh!
Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh! Oh.
Erica Barry: No! STOP!
Harry: OH! OOH!
Erica Barry: [Walking behind the door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry: [Hits a wall full of pictures, covering his eyes partly] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God, am I sorry?
Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything. Except maybe a few tits!
[Diane screams and runs away]

Julian Mercer: You know what Freud said they are no accidents.
Harry: Trust me this was an accident.

Harry: I'm dating your daughter, Marin. She invited me here for the weekend. She is in her room right now changing.
Erica Barry: Aah! You're dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that would be worst news?

Harry: What's with the turtlenecks? It's the middle of summer.
Erica Barry: Honestly what do you care what I wear?
Harry: Just curious.
Erica Barry: I like them I've always liked them and I am just a turtleneck kind of gal.
Harry: You never get hot?
Erica Barry: No.
Harry: Never?
Erica Barry: Not Lately.

Harry: You know, it isn't like I wanted to stop seeing you. We could have carried on a fun thing for awhile. Why is that you broads want all or nothing?