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Quotes for
Bill Simpson (Character)
from All About Eve (1950)

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All About Eve (1950)
Bill Sampson: Have you no human consideration?
Margo Channing: Show me a human, and I might have!

Margo Channing: Heartburn? It's that Miss Caswell. I don't see why she hasn't given Addison heartburn.
Bill Sampson: No heart to burn!
Margo Channing: Everybody has a heart - except some people.

Bill Sampson: We have to go to City Hall for the marriage license and blood test.
Margo Channing: I'd marry you if it turned out you had no blood at all.

[Bill is saying goodbye to Birdie as he departs for Hollywood]
Bill Sampson: What should I tell Tyrone Power for you?
Birdie: Just give him my phone number; I'll tell him myself.

Bill Sampson: The Theatuh, the Theatuh - what book of rules says the Theater exists only within some ugly buildings crowded into one square mile of New York City? Or London, Paris or Vienna? Listen, junior. And learn. Want to know what the Theater is? A flea circus. Also opera. Also rodeos, carnivals, ballets, Indian tribal dances, Punch and Judy, a one-man band - all Theater. Wherever there's magic and make-believe and an audience - there's Theater. Donald Duck, Ibsen, and The Lone Ranger, Sarah Bernhardt, Poodles Hanneford, Lunt and Fontanne, Betty Grable, Rex and Wild, and Eleanora Duse. You don't understand them all, you don't like them all, why should you? The Theater's for everybody - you included, but not exclusively - so don't approve or disapprove. It may not be your Theater, but it's Theater of somebody, somewhere.

Bill Sampson: Don't cry. Just score it as an incomplete forward pass.

Bill Sampson: Outside of a bee hive Margo, your beahvior would not be considered either Queenly or Motherly.
Margo Channing: You are in a beehive, pal. Didn't you know? We are all busy little bees, full of stings, making honey day and night. Aren't we honey?

Bill Sampson: You have every reason for happiness.
Margo Channing: Except happiness!

Bill Sampson: You know, there isn't a playwright in the world who could make me believe this would happen between two adult people. Goodbye, Margo.
Margo Channing: Bill? Where are you going? To find Eve?
Bill Sampson: That suddenly makes the whole thing believable.

Bill Sampson: I start shooting a week from Monday. Zanuck is impatient. He wants me, he needs me.
Margo Channing: Zanuck, Zanuck, Zanuck. What are you two, lovers?

Llyod Richards: I understand that your understudy, Miss Harrington, has given her notice.
Margo Channing: Too bad.
Bill Sampson: I'm broken up about it.

Bill Sampson: Wherever there's magic and make-believe and an audience, there's theatre.

Margo Channing: As it happens, there are particular aspects of my life to which I would like to maintain sole and exclusive rights and privileges.
Bill Sampson: For instance what?
Margo Channing: For instance: you!

Bill Sampson: I don't agree, Addison.
Addison DeWitt: That happens to be your particular abnormality.

[Margo is getting drunk at the party]
Bill Sampson: Many of your guests have been wondering when they may be permitted to view the body. Where has it been laid out?
Margo Channing: It hasn't been laid out, we haven't finished with the embalming. As a matter of fact, you're looking at it - the remains of Margo Channing, sitting up. It is my last wish to be buried sitting up.

Bill Sampson: Real diamonds in a wig, the world we live in.

Bill Sampson: [to Eve] "Don't let it worry you", said the camera man, "Even De Mille couldn't see anything looking through the wrong end!" So that was the first and last...
Margo Channing: [entering] Don't let me kill the point. Or isn't it a story for grownups?
Bill Sampson: You've heard it - about the time I looked into the wrong end of the camera finder.
Margo Channing: Remind me to tell you about the time I looked into the heart of an artichoke.
Eve Harrington: I'd like to hear it.
Margo Channing: Some snowy night, in front of the fire.

Bill Sampson: This is my cue to take you in my arms and reassure you. But I'm not going to - I'm too mad.
Margo Channing: Guilty!
Bill Sampson: Mad! Darling, there are certain characteristics for which you are famous, on stage and off. I love you for some of them, in spite of others. I haven't let those become too important. They're part of your equipment for getting along in what is laughingly called our environment. You have to keep your teeth sharp - all right - but I will not have you sharpen them on me, or on Eve!
Margo Channing: What about her teeth? What about her fangs?
Bill Sampson: She hasn't cut them yet, and you know it! So when you start judging an idealistic, dreamy-eyed kid by the barroom Benzedrine standards of this megalomaniac society, I won't have it! Eve Harrington has never, by word, look, thought, or suggestion indicated anything to me but her adoration for you and her happiness at our being in love. And to intimate anything else doesn't spell jealousy to me - it spells a paranoiac insecurity that you should be ashamed of!
Margo Channing: Cut! Print it! What happens in the next reel? Do I get dragged off screaming to the snake pits?

Margo Channing: Thank you, Eve. I'd like a martini, very dry.
Bill Sampson: I'll get it.
[to Eve]
Bill Sampson: What'll you have?
Margo Channing: A milkshake?
Eve Harrington: A martini, very dry, please.

Bill Sampson: Looks like I'm going to have a very fancy party...
Margo Channing: I thought you were going to be late.
Bill Sampson: When I'm guest of honor?
Margo Channing: I had no idea you were even here.
Bill Sampson: I ran into Eve on my way upstairs; she told me you were dressing.
Margo Channing: That never stopped you before.
Bill Sampson: Well, we started talking, she wanted to know all about Hollywood, she seemed so interested...
Margo Channing: She's a girl of so many interests.
Bill Sampson: It's a pretty rare quality these days.
Margo Channing: She's a girl of so many rare qualities.
Bill Sampson: So she seems.
Margo Channing: So you've pointed out, so often. So many qualities, so often. Her loyalty, efficiency, devotion, warmth, affection - and so young. So young and so fair...

Bill Sampson: I can't believe you're making this up. It sounds like something out of an old Clyde Fitch play!
Margo Channing: Clyde Fitch, though you may not think so, was well before my time.
Bill Sampson: I've always denied the legend that you were in "Our American Cousin" the night Lincoln was shot.
Margo Channing: I *don't* think that's funny!