Vito Spatafore
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Quotes for
Vito Spatafore (Character)
from "The Sopranos" (1999)

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"The Sopranos: Members Only (#6.1)" (2006)
Tony Soprano: What you lose a little weight?
Agent Dwight Harris: Ah...
Vito Spatafore: You look good. Atkins, right?
Agent Dwight Harris: I caught a parasite over there. Doctors don't know what it is.
Christopher Moltisanti: What do they eat, tabooli?
Agent Dwight Harris: Actually that's why I'm here. I been dyin' for a Satriale's veal parm hero.
[walks in]
Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck him. I hope that parasite eats his asshole out.
Tony Soprano: [shrugs] Kinda feel bad for the guy.

Vito Spatafore: I'll tell ya, one of the best things about droppin' the weight? All new wardrobe. I keep it up I'm gonna need Clothing Anonymous.
Raymond Curto: You shoulda called your sponsor before you bought that jacket.
Vito Spatafore: [to Eugene] Look at this guy. Members Only? How long you been wearin' that?

Vito Spatafore: [Phil walks in] Oh! Finally! Startin' to grow mushrooms out my ass.
Phil Leotardo: There's an image.

"The Sopranos: Cold Stones (#6.11)" (2006)
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: [on the phone] Hello?
Vito Spatafore: Hi!
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: Fuck you!
Vito Spatafore: I know, look...
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: Not a word. Not a note. What kind of person are you?
Vito Spatafore: You're right, I'm sorry.
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: You need help. You're seriously fucked up!
Vito Spatafore: I got kids, I couldn't live without them.
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: Bullshit! It was the fucking life that you couldn't live without. The gambling, the money, who knows what else!
Vito Spatafore: You're right. I didn't want to drag you into this pit I'm in.
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: Hey, fuck that! Everybody else is stupid to you, aren't they?
Vito Spatafore: No!
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: You can live and throw it down in fucking Jersey. Everybody kisses your ass!
Vito Spatafore: I miss you.
Jim "Johhny Cakes" Witowski: I don't wanna know you! I don't want to hear your voice. Don't ever call me again!
[hangs up]

Vito Spatafore: [Vito has emerged from hiding after being outed. He approaches Tony in the mall] Tony. Hey
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What the fuck?
Vito Spatafore: My brother's over there.
[Vito points to a man standing in the distance]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What's that supposed to mean?
Vito Spatafore: Nothing. He's just there, that's all.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You sandbag me? I'll cut your fucking throat open.
Vito Spatafore: I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. I want back in. Can I sit?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No, you can't sit.
Vito Spatafore: It's complicated. I was working things out.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm sure it gets complicated. When you're taking it up your fag ass.
Vito Spatafore: I'm not a fag. I never was
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Excuse me?
Vito Spatafore: It was the medication I was on. For my blood pressure. It fucked with my head, but I'm over that now. I could probably get a letter from my doctor
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?

Vito Spatafore: [to Tony] First off, I'd pay my way back in. I got two hundred grand that goes directly to you personally, no one needs to know. Long term: I know construction is out, I got contacts in Atlantic City, with your support I can set myself up there I'd be close, but not too close.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Ignores him and gets up to leave]

"The Sopranos: Join the Club (#6.2)" (2006)
Vito Spatafore: [regarding Eugene] I knew him better than anybody but still... Maybe he was a homo, felt there was no one he could talk to about it. That happens, too.

"The Sopranos: Another Toothpick (#3.5)" (2001)
[at the hospital, visiting Bryan Spatafore who has been beaten into a coma by Mustang Sally]
Tony Soprano: All right, obviously you told the cops you don't know who did this?
Vito Spatafore: I'm upset, but please... I know how to keep my mouth shut.
Ralph Cifaretto: Unless of course there's a salami sandwich around.