Quotes for
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr. (Character)
from "The Sopranos" (1999)

"The Sopranos: Walk Like a Man (#6.17)" (2007)

Carmela Soprano: It's better to have loved than lost, A.J. It's better to have loved and lost, A.J.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: [incredulous] What?
Tony Soprano: It is.

Carmela Soprano: You've heard the term "comfort food". Maybe it'll make you feel better.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem.
Tony Soprano: Neither is acting like a whiny little bitch.

Tony Soprano: These fuckin' women, they'll drive you nuts with their emotions and whatnot. And I know it feels like you're never gonna love anybody again. But trust me, there's millions of girls that are dyin' to meet a guy like you. I see 'em every day.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Oh, right. I'm so special.
Tony Soprano: You're damn right you are. You're handsome, and smart, and hard worker, and - let's be honest - white. That's a huge plus nowadays... Go out and get a blowjob.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I don't want a blowjob!
Tony Soprano: Keep your voice down.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Why? Who's listening out there?
Tony Soprano: Nobody.
[Carmela opens the door]
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Ah, fuck me!

---

"The Sopranos: The Second Coming (#6.19)" (2007)

Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I was watching CNN. This story about these kids in some Iraqi hospital. How the burn unit doesn't have the right medicine or something. And then they show this story about some mall in Minnesota and these gigantic, fat people buying stuff and eating all this shit. You know, it's like my parents. You should see our house, this stupid coffee maker they got, media room. You know, then there's Blanca. Her kid hardly talks. She can't afford to send him to a decent school.
Dr. Richard Vogel: You think your feelings about Blanca in any way relate to this African boy?
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: She's not black!... I mean... she's pretty tan.

Anthony Soprano, Jr.: [to Carmela] You know, it's always what you think, isn't it? It's never how I feel.
Tony Soprano: Oh, poor you. It's all your mother fault, isn't it?
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I didn't say that.
Tony Soprano: You're a mama's boy.

---

"The Sopranos: Made in America (#6.21)" (2007)

Patrick Parisi: [to Paulie] Ay, we were discussing Dreamgirls. You see it?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: You people are fucked. You're living in a dream. And you still sit here talking about the fucking Oscars? "What rough beast slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?"
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Huh?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeets.
Meadow Soprano: A.J...
Anthony Maffei: Yeats?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: The world... Don't you see it? I mean, Bush let Al-Qaeda escape...
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Oh!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: ...in the mountains? Then he has us invade some other country?
Jason Gervasi: Let's join up, go kill some fuckin' terrorists.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: It's more noble than watching these jack-off fantasies on TV of how we're kickin' their ass!

[last lines]
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Focus on the good times.
Tony Soprano: Don't be sarcastic.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Isn't that what you said one time? Try to remember the times that were good?
Tony Soprano: I did?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeah.
Tony Soprano: Well, it's true, I guess.
[the waitress arrives with a bowl of onion rings]
Tony Soprano: I ordered something for the table.

---

"The Sopranos: Whitecaps (#4.13)" (2002)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Un-fuckin'-believable!

---

"The Sopranos: Members Only (#6.1)" (2006)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: You have such a low opinion of people?
Tony Soprano: Let me tell you somethin', A.J. I don't care how close you are, in the end your friends are gonna let you down. Family: they're the only ones you can depend on.

---

"The Sopranos: Nobody Knows Anything (#1.11)" (1999)

Meadow Soprano: This country's light-years behind the rest of the world. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution.
Tony Soprano: Don't you got somewhere to be?
Meadow Soprano: I mean, it's a joke. Look what they're putting the President through.
Carmela Soprano: He deserved what he got.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He got Monica Kaczynski and the broad with the long nose.
Meadow Soprano: I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense.
Tony Soprano: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, OK?
Meadow Soprano: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.
Tony Soprano: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954.
[points to the window]
Tony Soprano: 1990s.
[points to the floor]
Tony Soprano: 1954. So now and forever, I don't want to hear any more sex talk, OK?

---

"The Sopranos: Christopher (#4.3)" (2002)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: It says, in this book, that Christopher Columbus was a slave trader.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So, you finally read a book and it's bullshit!

---

"The Sopranos: Watching Too Much Television (#4.7)" (2002)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: So that's a crack 'ho.

---

"The Sopranos: Pilot (#1.1)" (1999)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: So what, no fucking ziti now?

---

"The Sopranos: Join the Club (#6.2)" (2006)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: [to Tony] Hey, Dad. I'm gonna get Uncle Junior for this. Don't worry.
[crying]
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: I watched since I was little how nice you were to him. And he doesn't get to just do this to you. And put you in here and get away with it. You're my Dad. And I'm gonna put a bullet in his fuckin' mummy head! I promise. I can't believe we're not gonna, like, do stuff together again. 'Cause we will. I'm positive.

---

"The Sopranos: Kennedy and Heidi (#6.18)" (2007)

Anthony Soprano, Jr.: You know, people walk around like this is all somethin' and fuckin' laughin' and nobody takes even one second to think about what's really goin' on.
Dr. Richard Vogel: You sound depressed again.
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I mean, how can anybody not be? You'd have to be fucking nuts not to be. I mean, you'd have to have your head wedged so far up your ass that all you could see is your own stupid face!
Dr. Richard Vogel: What specifically are you talking about?
Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I mean, everything is so fucked up. Why can't we all just get along?
[cries]

---

"The Sopranos: Where's Johnny? (#5.3)" (2004)

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [having Sunday dinner, Tony is upset by a remark by Uncle Junior] Get your coat! We're leaving!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: I don't have a coat.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, then get moving, goddamn it!

---

"The Sopranos: The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti (#1.8)" (1999)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Is it true that the Chinese invented spaghetti?
Tony Soprano: Now think about it. Why would people who eat with sticks invent something you need a fork to eat?

---

"The Sopranos: All Happy Families (#5.4)" (2004)

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: [happily] I might be learning disabled!

---

"The Sopranos: Johnny Cakes (#6.8)" (2006)

Tony Soprano: YOU STUPID FUCKIN' MORON! You realized what could have happened to you if we didn't have connections? Some cop goes by the book and they charge you with attempted murder! You hear me! Attempted murder, then what? THEN WHAT?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He shot you! Were you just gonna let him fucking get away with it?
Tony Soprano: I told you that's my business not yours! And what did you do? Nothing! Zero a big fucking jerk-off!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: FUCK YOU!
Tony Soprano: I oughta break your fucking neck!
[Tony grabs him forcingly and lets a sobbing A.J. go]
Tony Soprano: Stop cryin'! Stop cryin'!
[pause for a moment]
Tony Soprano: I guess your heart was in the right place A.J. But it's wrong. Come on!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: What?
Tony Soprano: It's not in your nature!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: You don't know me! Alright! You don't know anything about me!
Tony Soprano: You're a nice guy! And I'm greatful for that!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Well you're a fucking hypocrite! Because everytime we watch "Godfather". When Michael Corleone shoots those guys at the restaurant, those assholes who tried to kill his dad. You sit there with your fucking bowl of ice cream and say it's your favorite scene of all time!

---