Ralph Cifaretto
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Quotes for
Ralph Cifaretto (Character)
from "The Sopranos" (1999)

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"The Sopranos: University (#3.6)" (2001)
Ralphie Cifaretto: What are you being like this for?
Tracee: Fuck you. Three days you don't call, not even to see how I am.
Ralphie Cifaretto: Baby, I'm busy. I gotta work! How else am I gonna take care of you when you're nine months pregnant?
Tracee: Serious?
Ralphie Cifaretto: Of course I'm serious!
Tracee: Ralphie, I love you.
Ralphie Cifaretto: I love you too, baby. Hey, if it's a boy, we'll name him after me. If it's a girl, we'll name it Tracee after you... that way she could grow up to be a cocksuckin' slob just like her mother. Are you out of your fucking mind?
Tracee: Guinea motherfuckin' piece of shit!
Ralphie Cifaretto: Yeah, that's right. Get it out! Get it out you little whore!

Ralph Cifaretto: Where's Tony?
Gigi Cestone: Gettin' his weasel greased.
Ralph Cifaretto: Oh, your kid brother's here?

Georgie: Hey Ralph!
Ralph Cifaretto: I have come to reclaim Rome... for my people.
Georgie: How ya doin'?
Ralph Cifaretto: [grabs Georgie by the neck, yelling] I have come to reclaim Rome... for my people!
Georgie: I don't get it. What do you mean?
Ralph Cifaretto: Fuckin' Gladiator, ya fuck!
Georgie: Oooh, the movie! I didn't see it.
Ralph Cifaretto: You're an asshole then.

Ralphie Cifaretto: Oh one nod, not even a hello?
Tracee: Fuck you, asshole.
Ralphie Cifaretto: Oh that's very nice. That's how you talk to a man in front of his friends?
Tracee: Yeah, right. What man?
Christopher Moltisanti: Oh a double!
Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: You tell him, sweety!
Gigi Cestone: [clapping] I like this girl!
Ralphie Cifaretto: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why wasn't I born hansome instead of rich?


"The Sopranos: Amour Fou (#3.12)" (2001)
Ralph Cifaretto: [to Jackie Jr] Your father, god rest his soul, had balls the size of an Irish broad's ass.

Ralphie Cifaretto: Now that you're moving back in, are you going to be humping Tony Soprano's daughter on our couch now?
Jackie Aprile Jr.: Fuck her! And Tony with his stay-in-school bullshit...
Ralphie Cifaretto: Yeah, and he's supposed to break the dean's legs 'cuz you're too lazy to read a fuckin' book.


"The Sopranos: Another Toothpick (#3.5)" (2001)
[at the hospital, visiting Bryan Spatafore who has been beaten into a coma by Mustang Sally]
Tony Soprano: All right, obviously you told the cops you don't know who did this?
Vito Spatafore: I'm upset, but please... I know how to keep my mouth shut.
Ralph Cifaretto: Unless of course there's a salami sandwich around.


"The Sopranos: He Is Risen (#3.8)" (2001)
Ralph Cifaretto: [Apologizing to Tony while Christopher and Paulie stand guard] at Nuovo Vesuvio I was doing a lot of coke, I said somethings and I did somethings that I'm sorry for its not going to happen again. I'm sorry Tony, OK?


"The Sopranos: Christopher (#4.3)" (2002)
[during sex]
Janice Soprano: How much money did you make today, slut?
Ralph Cifaretto: $300.
Janice Soprano: That's not enough. I'm gonna put you back on the street, bitch!


"The Sopranos: Employee of the Month (#3.4)" (2001)
Ralph Cifaretto: I oughta stick a shiskabbab up your ass!


"The Sopranos: The Weight (#4.4)" (2002)
Tony Soprano: Twenty years I've been friends with John, now his got to go
Christopher Moltisanti: All over a stupid joke
Ralph Cifaretto: [to Silvo, Christopher and Tony] I was fucking around for Christ's sake you never made a joke about Ginny Sack?
Silvio Dante: Of course not
Silvio Dante: No, never
Christopher Moltisanti: Not like that
Ralph Cifaretto: Yeah, well fuck him and his high polluting bullshit who does he think he is? Sir Walter Raleigh?
Tony Soprano: That's enough of you and your stupid fucking remarks, go back to Miami and play volleyball or whatever the fuck it is you do down there while we clean up your fucking mess, maybe keep your ass alive


"The Sopranos: Pie-o-My (#4.5)" (2002)
Ralph Cifaretto: [to Pie-o-My's trainer] And tell that midget jockey not to be shy with the whip!
Hesh: [about Ralph] If only his mother had followed that advice.


"The Sopranos: Whoever Did This (#4.9)" (2002)
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Jesus Christ, you did it. You cooked that fuckin' horse alive!
Ralph Cifaretto: No, I did NOT! But so what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So what?
Ralph Cifaretto: It was a fucking animal! A hundred grand a piece! My kid's in a fuckin' hospital! I don't hear you complaining though, when I bring you a nice fat envelope, you don't give a shit where that comes from! Don't give me that look! It was a fucking horse! What are you, a vegetarian? You eat beef and sausage by the cartload!