No Photo Available
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Pestario 'Pest' Vargas (Character)
from The Pest (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Pest (1997)
[after his crotch caught on fire]
Pest: Fear not. The Pest line shall continue. My childrens have been savededed.

[after he pees his pants from fright]
Pest: I'm sorry. I couldn't make it to the newspaper.

Pest: ...I hope you get violated by pig monkey men in the woods.

Pest: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the slickest of them all? It's the schemin'est, keenest scam artist. GOD, IT'S SO HARD TO BE MODEST.

Pest: Excuse me, but - ahh. Why do I gotta look like something out of "Jungle Book" and you guys all get the nice Banana Republic stuff?

Pest: So, you started a few wars. a-ite? Okay, you actually you started every war, but I mean who's counting; it's not like you ever won one, right?
[laughs and pulls Leo's pants down]
Leo: Ve kicked France's ass.
Pest: Oh please, like who hasn't?

Xantha: Anything you have to say to me... you can say it in front of Malaria.
Pest: Anything?
Xantha: Anything.
Pest: Alright. Malaria's got mossy teeth, dandruff, and a fat butt!
Xantha: PEST!
Malaria: These jeans make me look fat!
Pest: Ah no, Malaria, your fat butt makes you look fat!

Pest: So... uh... what was your snake's name?
Himmel: Cocteau.
Pest: [nervously] Coc-teau? Like the French playwright?
Himmel: Nein... After my two favorite body parts.

Pest: O MY GOD. Quacky. Quacky. What have they dided to you?
[Pretends to cry]
Pest: Which one is he?

Pest: "The United States of... Germany." Wow, somebody's a sore loser.

[singing]
Pest: I'm "ridiculiculous." Like a booger I stick to this.

[singing]
Pest: I'm in the mood to scam, simply because I can.

Pest: Love, peace and chicken grease.

Pest: Later, masturbator.

Pest: Of course I farted. What, you think I smell like this all the time?

Angus: Do you know what today is?
Pest: The first day of the rest of our lives?
Angus: No.
Pest: Sean Connery's birthday?
Angus: Sean Connery's birthday?
Bagpipe Player: SEAN CONNERY'S BIRTHDAY?
[Band plays "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"]

[Pest and Angus speak over telephone]
Angus: You'd show more respect if we were the Italian mob.
Pest: Oh, please. Don't start that again.
Angus: Just because we're Scottish people don't take us seriously
[Pest burps into mouthpiece]

[Pest and Chubbs enter an armory]
Pest: Be all you can be!
Chubbs: Yeah, don't ask, don't tell.
Pest: ...What's that supposed to mean?
Chubbs: Oh, nothin'.
Pest: Just checkin...

[after tumbling down a steep hill and banging his head against a rock]
Pest: Aaahhh, now I'm nice and limber!

[after Gustav wasted his tranquilzers on Xantha's family and his son, missing Pest]
Pest: You can't hit me! You can't hit me! You're a big sucker-butt! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha! I can't believe you're German! Ha ha h...
[Gustav hits him with the gun handle]

[Pest works at a Chinese restaurant, disguised as Chinese]
Mr. Cheung: [In heavy Chinese accent] How come I don't undastand any of your Chinese?
Pest: [In just as thick an accent] I from Souff! Is a diffwent diawect!
Mr. Cheung: Oh really? Well, I'm from Souff too!
Pest: [pause] Well, I from FAR, FAR, FAR, far Souff!

Himmel: Don't flatter me.
Pest: OK, your feet stink, your nose is point and your mother dresses you funny!

Puerto Rican Boy: If you're blind, how did you know that I was a man?
Pest: I could hear your gonads shaking.

Angus: Today is Monday. I want all the money you owe me by Wednesday or I'm going to kill your whole family.
Pest: How 'bout Thursday and you just take out a cousin?

Pest: [talking to himself while defecating in the forest] Whether 'tis nobler in the mind...
[farts]
Pest: ...to suffer the slings and arrows...
[farts again]
Pest: ...of outrageous fortune...
[farts again]

Pest: [Flatulence] One stinky dinky, Ah ha ha!
[Flatulence]
Pest: Two stinky dinky,
[Extended Flatulence]
Pest: Ah ha ha!