Michael Banks
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Quotes for
Michael Banks (Character)
from Mary Poppins (1964)

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Mary Poppins (1964)
Michael: [talking about Mary Poppins] We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.

Mary Poppins: Our first game is called Well Begun is Half-Done.
Michael: I don't like the sound of that.
Mary Poppins: Otherwise titled Let's Tidy up the Nursery.
Michael: [to Jane] I told you she was tricky.

Jane: Mary Poppins, we won't let you go!
Mary Poppins: Go? What on earth are you talking about?
Michael: Didn't you get sacked?
Mary Poppins: Sacked? Certainly not. I am never sacked!
Jane: Oh, Mary Poppins!
Jane, Michael: Hurrah, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray...
Mary Poppins: Neither am I a Maypole. Kindly stop spinning about me.

Jane: Oh, Bert, we're so frightened.
Bert: Now, now, don't take on so. Bert will take care of you. Like I was your father. Now, who's after you?
Jane: Father is.
Bert: What?
Michael: He brought us to see his bank.
Jane: I don't know what we did, but it must have been something dreadful.
Michael: He sent the police after us, and the army, and everything.
Jane: Michael, don't exaggerate.
Bert: Well now, there must be some mistake. Your dad's a fine gentleman and he loves you.
Jane: I don't think so. You should have seen the look on his face.
Michael: He doesn't like us at all.
Bert: Well now, that don't seem likely, does it?
Jane: It's true.
Bert: Let's sit down. You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father. There he is, in that cold heartless bank day after day, hammed in by mounds of cold heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
Jane: Father in a cage?
Bert: They makes cages of all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped, some of them, carpets and all.
Jane: Father's not in trouble. We are.
Bert: Oh. Sure about that, are you? Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you and Mary Poppins and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell about it? No one. Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining and alone and silent.
Michael: He's not very silent.
Jane: Michael, be quiet. Bert, do you think father really needs our help?
Bert: Well, it's not my place to say. I only observe that a father can always do with a bit of help. Come on, I'll take you home.

Jane: [reading advertisement for a new nanny] "Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children."
George Banks: Adorable. Well that's debatable, I must say.
Jane: [singing] If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition...
George Banks: Jane, I don't...
Jane: Rosy cheeks, no warts...
Michael: That's the part I put in!
Jane: Play games, all sorts. You must be kind, you must be witty, very sweet, and fairly pretty...
George Banks: Well of all the ridiculous...!
Mrs. Banks: George, please!
Jane: Take us on outings, give us treats, sing songs, bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel. Never give us castor oil or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water.
Michael: I put that in, too!
Jane: If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us. We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea. Hurry, nanny! Many thanks! Sincerely...
Jane, Michael: Jane and Michael Banks!

Bert: All right, I'll do it myself!
Mary Poppins: Do what?
Bert: Bit o' magic!
Michael: A bit of magic?
Bert: It's easy! Let's see... You think.
[he, Jane, and Michael do so]
Bert: You wink.
[they do so]
Bert: You do a double blink.
[they do so]
Bert: You close your eyes... and jump!
[They jump onto the drawing, nothing happens]
Jane: Is something s'posed to happen?
Mary Poppins: Bert, what utter nonsense!
[gives an exasperated sigh]
Mary Poppins: Why do you *always* complicate things that are really quite simple? Give me your hand please, Michael. Don't slouch. One... two...
[They jump into the chalk picture]

Jane: Good morning, father!
George W. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning.
Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word!
Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whatever the infernal thing is?
Jane: It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
George W. Banks: Yes, well, I always know what to say.

George Banks: [Going to see the bank] Remember that the bank is a quiet and decorous place, and we must be on our best behavior.
Michael: But I thought it was your bank.
George Banks: Yes, well, I'm one of the junior officers, so in a sense it is. Sort of.

Michael: I want it to feed the birds.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Fiddlesticks, boy! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds! But...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: If you invest your tuppence wisely in the bank, safe and sound, soon that tuppence, safely invested in the bank, will compound! And you'll achieve that sense of conquest, as your affluence expands! In the hands of the directors, who invest as propriety demands!

[Uncle Albert had been asked if there is a way to get down from being up in the air]
Uncle Albert: There is a way. And frankly, I don't like to think of it, because you have to think of something sad.
Mary Poppins: Then do get on with it, please.
Uncle Albert: Let me see... I have the very thing: Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, "I'm terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat."
[Jane and Michael descend from being up in the air]
Jane: Oh, that is sad.
Michael: The poor cat.
Uncle Albert: And the man said, "I'd like to replace your cat." And the lady said, "That's all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?"
[then they all burst out laughing and Jane and Michael re-ascend back to the tea table in the air]

Michael: [after Mr. Dawes Sr. snatches his tuppence away; screaming] GIVE IT BACK!
[Michael launches himself forward to get his tuppence back, sparking chaos]

[seeing Mary Poppins for the first time]
Michael: Perhaps it's a witch!
Jane: Of course not - witches have brooms!

Michael: That's a funny sort of bag.
Mary Poppins: Carpet.
Michael: You mean to carry carpets in?
Mary Poppins: No, made of.

Mary Poppins: [measuring Michael with her magic tape measure] Just as I thought - 'Extremely stubborn and suspicious.'
[Jane laughs]
Michael: I am not!
Mary Poppins: See for yourself.
Michael: [reading] 'Extremely stubborn and sups... '
Mary Poppins: Suspicious. Now you, Jane.
[measures Jane]
Mary Poppins: Hmm. 'Rather inclined to giggle, doesn't put things away.'
[Michael laughs]

Jane: [tasting Mary Poppins' magic medicine] Lime cordial, delicious!
Michael: Strawberry! Mmm.
Mary Poppins: Rum punch! Quite satisfactory.

Mary Poppins: Silence please, it's time to go to sleep.
Jane: Oh we couldn't possibly go to sleep, so many lovely and excited things happened today!
Mary Poppins: Did they?
Jane: Yes! When we jumped into Bert's chalk picture!
Michael: And we rode the merry-go-round, and the horses jumped off...
Jane: And we all went riding down the country side!
[they jump up and down shouting riding cries; Mary Poppins acts indifferent]
Mary Poppins: Really?
Jane: Mary Poppins, don't you remember? You won the horse race!
Mary Poppins: A respectable person like me, in a horse race? How dare you suggest such a thing!
Michael: But I saw you do it!
Mary Poppins: Now not another word or I shall have to summon a policeman! Is that clear?

[Andrew the dog comes up to Mary Poppins and starts barking]
Mary Poppins: Not so fast please, I can't understand a word you're saying.
[Andrew barks slower]
Mary Poppins: Again? Oh, the poor man!
[Andrew barks again and sneezes]
Mary Poppins: Bless you.
[Andrew barks again]
Mary Poppins: Why yes, of course, there's not a moment to lose. I'll go straightaway! And thank you very much.
[Andrew barks]
Jane: What did he say?
Mary Poppins: He said 'You're welcome.'
Jane: What else did he say?
Michael: I don't think he said anything!
Mary Poppins: You know best, as usual.

Jane: An outing with father?
Mary Poppins: Yes.
Michael: I don't believe it!
Jane: He's never taken us on an outing before.
Michael: He's never taken us anywhere!
Jane, Mary Poppins: However did you manage it?
Mary Poppins: Manage what?
Jane: You must have put the idea in his head somehow.
Mary Poppins: What an impertinent thing to say! Me, putting ideas into people's heads? Really!
Jane: Where's he taking us?
Mary Poppins: To the bank.
Jane: Oh Michael, the city! We'll see all the sights and father can point them out to us!
Mary Poppins: Well, most things he can. Sometimes a person we love, through no fault of their own, can't see past the end of his nose.

[Mary Poppins is leaving]
Michael: She doesn't care what happens to us.
Jane: She only promised to stay until the wind changes. Isn't that right Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins: Will you be good enough to fetch my hatstand please?
Jane: Mary Poppins, don't you love us?
Mary Poppins: And what would happen to me, may I ask, if I loved all the children I said goodbye to?