Louise Keeley
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Quotes for
Louise Keeley (Character)
from The Birdcage (1996)

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The Birdcage (1996)
Louise Keeley: Who is this boy, Barbie? When was the last time you saw him?
Barbara Keeley: Please don't call me Barbie. This afternoon at two o'clock. We've been sleeping together for a year.
Senator Kevin Keeley: Oh God, has he been tested?
Louise Keeley: Oh, Kevin!
Barbara Keeley: Yes, and so have I.
[Louise screams]

Senator Kevin Keeley: I'm so glad I got on Jackson's bandwagon instead of Dole. Dole is just too, too...
Louise Keeley: Dark.
Senator Kevin Keeley: Well, I was gonna say liberal, but he's dark, too.

[on the phone]
Senator Kevin Keeley: Hello, Ben. Ready for what? WHAT?
Louise Keeley: What's the matter, Kevin?
Senator Kevin Keeley: Jackson's dead.
Louise Keeley: Oh my God!
Senator Kevin Keeley: He died in bed? Whose bed? A prostitute?
Louise Keeley: No!
Senator Kevin Keeley: A minor? And black?
Louise Keeley: What?
Senator Kevin Keeley: I don't believe this! I don't FUCKING believe this!

Louise Keeley: If necessary, we'll get the Pope's blessing, it's not hard!

Louise Keeley: Oh, what interesting china.
Louise Keeley: It looks like young men playing leap frog.

Club Patron: I've never danced with a man before.
Louise Keeley: [in female drag] There's always a first time.

Louise Keeley: [hearing Albert's wails] Is someone else home?
Armand: Just our dog, Piranha. We always lock her in when there's company.

Louise Keeley: I noticed you didn't have this kind of blind sympathy for Bessy Jackson!
Senator Kevin Keeley: Bessy Jackson is an insensitive cow!

Louise Keeley: It's so dangerous! You could've fallen!
Senator Kevin Keeley: I did!

Louise Keeley: I like its... severity.