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: When you gonna let me audition for you again? Armand
: When you have talent.
: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets? Agador
: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off. Armand
: My God, what a brilliant idea! Agador
: I know.
: Now take that wig off or I'll tell Albert you're wearing it. Agador
: You do that, I'm gonna tell him you're seeing somebody else while he's on the stage. Armand
: I have two words for you: green card.
: Agador, you're gonna have to get yourself a uniform and dress like a butler. Agador
: No! I'm gonna look like a fag! Armand
: Maybe, but you'll look like a fag in a uniform.
: Is Albert here? Agador
: No. Armand
: Great. Then he's driving back from Miami at 20 miles an hour with the parking brake on.
: Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness? Armand
: Your what? Agador
: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right? Armand
: You're right. I'm afraid of your heat.
: [in a scene after one in which he was dressed like Lucy
] Armand, why don't you let me be in the show?
: You look like Lucy's stunt double. Agador
: [dancing around in red wig cleaning
] No actually I'm a combination of Lucy and Ricky Armand
: That's horrifying.
: My father was the shaman of his tribe and my mother was the high priestess. Armand
: So why the hell did they move to New Jersey? Agador
: I don't know, they're so stupid.
: [to Agador
] Pull yourself together! Because you have to cook dinner. And I'm going after fucking Albert.
: You... can *cook*, right? Agador
: Your father seems to think so...
: What is that crap you served us? Agador
: It's Guatemalan Peasant Soup. Armand
: What's Guatemalan Peasant Soup? Agador
: I don't know, I made it up. I made it up!
: I'm leaving you my stereo... Agador
: I don't want it. Albert
: My red boots? Agador
: I don't want them. Albert
: And my wigs? Agador
: Which wig?
: Agador, why aren't you wearing your shoes? Agador
: [manly voice
] I do not wear the shoes... because... they make me fall down.
: Senator, another shot for you? Senator Kevin Keeley
: I don't really drink... Agador
: Yeah, but now's the time to pretend!
: Ugh, what is this, sludge? Agador
: Yes, it's sludge; I thought it'd make a nice change from coffee.
: My Guatemalaness; my natural heat! Armand
: Yes, I'm afraid of your heat.
: Hmm, Turkish coffee. Agador
[Slaps Armand's arm
: Put your shoes on Agador, it's getting late. Agador
: [In what he thinks is a normal waiter's voice
] Ah, but there's no point in my putting shoes on.
[blows out match
: I never wear shoes because they make me fall down. Val
: Just, put your shoes on, okay? And talk in your normal voice, and just... give me a break, okay? Agador
: [In real voice
: Good eve-e-ning. May I take jour purse as usual... or for the first tine?