Money Mike
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Quotes for
Money Mike (Character)
from Friday After Next (2002)

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Friday After Next (2002)
Money Mike: [Damon splashes water on Money Mike] Did you pee on me?
Damon: Wake yo' bitch-ass up, lucky charms. I like my fish wet and squirmy.
Money Mike: I thought I was dreaming. You almost drowned me, nigga.
Damon: Oh, you're dreaming. This is a wet dream.

Money Mike: Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some pimpin' in it.

Money Mike: Crunching on your balls in a one horsed open sleigh.

Money Mike: [while holding Damon's balls with a vice grips] Are you a music lover, Damon?
Damon: Y... yes
Money Mike: Well, have you ever heard of the nutcracker?
[squeezes Damon's balls with the vice grips]

Money Mike: Do y'all got a bathroom up in here? I gotta piss like a Russian racehorse at the Kentucky Derby with a glue truck behind it.

Damon: [while Money Mike has plyers on his testicles] ya know maybe we can get to know each other
Money Mike: Shut up! The hell you talkin bout! I am a boy! You are not in prison anymore Damon! Thats not how we do it!
[Squeezes plyers]

Money Mike: Don't drag that coat, it cost more than you!

Money Mike: 25% off. Everything must go. Maybe even you.

Money Mike: [coming out of the apartment, holding Damon's nuts in a vice grip. A crowd of people has gathered] I want everybody back! There's gon' be ball juice everywhere!

Money Mike: [Craig hands him back his razor] Never know when I might need this. Might come in handy. Might wanna shave. Might wanna shave somebody else. Never know.

Money Mike: Let me check my palm pilot.
[looks at the palm of his hand]
Money Mike: Looks like I ain't doin' shit.

Money Mike: [holding Damon by the testicles with a pair of pliers] Hold these til I get in the car.
Craig Jones: Dude, I ain't about to touch his nuts or them vice grips.
Money Mike: Oh yes you are.
Craig Jones: No I'm not.
Money Mike: Yes you are!
Craig Jones: Bullshit.
Money Mike: This is yo party. Yo pliers. His nuts. In yo hands!

Money Mike: [a pimp manniquin falls on Mike, pinning him to the floor] This is bullshit. I'm stuck between a pimp and a hard place. Donna, man down! Eleven thirty: pimp in distress!

Money Mike: [to Donna] Speaking of cockroaches, where was yo antennas when them two niggas was robbin' me?

Money Mike: I was just gonna get drunk and watch the Grinch, so I'll be there.

Money Mike: Can I help you?
Crime Brother #1: No.
Money Mike: No? Well this ain't the Baby Gap.