Nick Szalinski
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Quotes for
Nick Szalinski (Character)
from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
Nick Szalinski: I'm on a special diet. No toxic waste.

Amy Szalinski: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Nick Szalinski: I don't think we're in the food chain anymore, Dorothy.

Nick Szalinski: We're now a quarter of an inch tall, and 64 feet from the house. That's an equivalent of three-point-two miles. That's a long way. Even for a man of science.
Amy Szalinski: Nick, I've got six hours to get home, get big and get to the mall. Now get moving.

Nick Szalinski: When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn't take too long.

Nick Szalinski: We could be anywhere now.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I think we're still in your yard.
Nick Szalinski: How do you know?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Any other yard the grass would be shorter.

Nick Szalinski: Where'd you learn artificial respiration?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: French class, kid.

[last lines]
Nick Szalinski: Hey wait! I get it! FRENCH CLASS!

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Hey Szalinski, ever do anything normal? Like play baseball?
Nick Szalinski: Nope. Baseball is for mortals.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Maybe you could be the base.
Nick Szalinski: Maybe you could be the mound.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Ronald, lug your stuff!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Later, worm.

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: [as the kids eat an Oreo, now gigantic to them] They're never going to believe this at school.
Nick Szalinski: Yeah, I can just see the note to the teacher: "Dear Miss Mason, Nick is not absent. He's pinned to this note".

Nick Szalinski: Have a ball, baby.

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: [the ground starts shaking] EARTHQUAKE!
Nick Szalinski: No, worse... LAWNMOWER!

Amy Szalinski: Good night, Russ.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Good night, Amy.
Nick Szalinski, Ron Thompson: [pause, then mockingly] Good night, Amy!

Nick Szalinski: Help! Don't eat me!
[screams]

[Nick has fallen into a flower, full of pollen]
Amy Szalinski: Nicky! Get out of there! You're allergic to pollen!
Nick Szalinski: [sniffing the pollen] It's too big! I'm too little to breathe it in.
[sniffs it again, then sneezes]

Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: He hit a baseball through your attic window...
Amy Szalinski: He what?
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: It shouldn't have been closed in the first place. It's a nice day!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: We'll get it fixed okay? We'll take it out of his allowance all right?
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: My allowance? Dream on!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Okay, we'll just have dad pay for it huh?
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: We'll take it out of my allowance... Now give me my ball back.
Nick Szalinski: Until you pay, no man shall pass.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: You've got nothing to say about it, *space boy*!
Amy Szalinski: Cool it! Nick, take him upstairs and get him his ball. And clean up the mess.
Nick Szalinski: [incredulous] What?
Amy Szalinski: [impatiently] Do it, Nick! I don't have time to mess around.

Nick Szalinski: [sees Quark] It's Quark!
[whistles until Quark sees them]
Nick Szalinski: Oh, no!
Amy Szalinski: What is it, Nick?
Nick Szalinski: [observes the Thompsons' cat jumping from the fence] It's that stupid cat of theirs!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Our cat is not stupid!
Nick Szalinski: [sees Quark being chased back in the house] It just chased Quark away!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: It's Russ's stupid cat...
[his last word turns to panic as the stem tips over]
Amy Szalinski: Hang on, Nick!
Nick Szalinski: I can't! I'M SLIPPING!
[Nick falls into a flower full of pollen]

Nick Szalinski: [Ron lights a torch from cigarette ashes] Cool! Now we can see in the dark!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Hey, Antie look! Headlights!
[Antie wiggles his antennae in curiosity]


Honey I Blew Up the Kid (1992)
Wayne: I blew up the baby!
[Diane faints]
Adam: Mama fall down! Mama!
Nick: [appears from behind Adam] How'd she take it?
Wayne: About like usual.
Adam: Mama sleeping?

Nick: Dad, were you ever popular in school?
Wayne: You bet. I was president of the astronomy club three years in a row. We were happenin' guys.

Nick: This is your last warning.
[Adam chucks a lamp at him]
Nick: Okay, I'll give you one more warning.

Nick: Adam! Don't eat us!


"Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Show: Honey, Whodunit? (#3.21)" (2000)
Nick Szalinski: [as Victor Woo] Do not go for your gun, Mr. Wolff.
Wayne Szalinski: [as Wayne Wolff] I don't have a gun. This is a family show.