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: [dictating into phone
] In protest, the whole Senate body rose and walked out. Clarissa Saunders
: No! No, not that straight stuff. Now listen, kick it up, get on his side, fight for him! Understand? Diz Moore
: You love this monkey - don't you? Clarissa Saunders
: What do you think? Now listen, go to work. Do as I tell you. Diz Moore
: [into phone
] Throw out that last, take this. This is the most titanic battle of modern times. A David without even a slingshot rises to do battle against the mighty Goliath, the Taylor machine, allegedly crooked inside and out. Yeah, and for my money, you can cut out the "allegedly."
: When Foley died, why didn't I clear out? How many times have you heard me say "I'm fed up with politics and I"... No, I let him talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts! Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes! Diz Moore
: Would you settle for a husband? Clarissa Saunders
: Mmm, I sure would!
[suddenly realizes he's referring to himself
] Clarissa Saunders
: Huh? Diz Moore
: You know my old standing offer. Diz Moore, poet of Washington correspondents. Clarissa Saunders
] Oh, that again. Diz Moore
: I'd cherish you - and I'd stay sober. Clarissa Saunders
: Oh, Diz, you're a wonderful egg. I don't know, maybe if I saw you once with your hair combed or something...
[Diz sheepishly finger combs his hair
] Clarissa Saunders
] No, I don't even think that would do it.
: Diz, what do you think? Daniel Boone's lost. Diz Moore
: No? Clarissa Saunders
: Lost in the wilds of Washington. Diz Moore
: Well, if your boy friend's gonna blaze trails, I'm going over to the Press Club. Clarissa Saunders
: Aw, stick around. He might want us all to put on short pants and go out hiking. You wouldn't want to miss the exercise. Diz Moore
: Every time I think of exercise, I have to lie right down until the feeling leaves me. Say, wouldn't it be funny if he was lost? Clarissa Saunders
: The Boy Ranger? Oh, he'll show up. He must have a compass with him.
: Eight to five, little boy blue is plastered.
: I'll see you later, Saunders. I gotta go out and drink this over.
: I'm still asking myself, what is he? Animal, vegetable or mineral? Diz Moore
: Maybe he's an oyster.
: What did you get me outta bed for? Clarissa Saunders
: Shhh. Sit tight. The show's about to commence. Diz Moore
: Do mind telling me what's about to go on around here? Clarissa Saunders
: Certainly. Now, there's the principal actor in our little play: Don Quixote Smith - man with bill. Over here, one of the supporting characters. Diz Moore
: Who? Clarissa Saunders
: That gorilla in man's clothing: McGann. Diz Moore
: Oh, you mean, puss in boots. Clarissa Saunders
: Yeah, mostly puss. Aw, another prominent character in our play, the silver night, soul of honor on a tightrope. Diz Moore
: You wouldn't be a little bit goofy, would you? Clarissa Saunders
: Diz, Don Quixote with bill will get to his feet in a minute and speak two important words: Willet Creek. When that happens, the sliver night will fall off his tightrope and puss will jump outta his boots.
: Sicking that horrible dame on him - when he's goofy about her. Diz Moore
: What dame? Clarissa Saunders
: Better be nice to that gal. The latest poll makes her old man the party choice for the White House. She may be the next First Lady of the land. Clarissa Saunders
: Imagine reading, "My Day by Susan Paine in the neck." He isn't gonna be hurt enough as it is, she has to twist a knife in him too... jackass. "I'll turn by glamour on him, " she says. Diz Moore
: Oh, forget it. What's it to you? Clarissa Saunders
: Nothing, I'm just... Diz Moore
: Okay, okay. Then, stop worrying. I told you the dopes are going to inherit the earth anyway. Clarissa Saunders
: I wonder, Diz, if this Don Quixote hasn't got the jump on all of us. I wonder if it isn't a curse to go through life wised up like you and me. Diz Moore
: Now, look her kid. If you're going to wonder, let's go down and do it over a hunk of steak, huh? Come on, snap out of it. Drink up! Here's to bigger and better dopes. Clarissa Saunders
: And to Don Quixote.
: You know, that guy's batty.
: Is this some of your shenanigans? Clarissa Saunders
: Shhhh. Diz Moore
: What's the matter? Clarissa Saunders
: Pray, Diz. If you know how.