The Robot
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Quotes for
The Robot (Character)
from "Lost in Space" (1965)

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"Lost in Space: War of the Robots (#1.20)" (1966)
The Robot: [to Dr. Smith] Object fish has eluded capture.
Will Robinson: He got away, sir.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Not even the greatest expert could have landed that monster. He must have weighed a hundred pounds.
Will Robinson: ALL your fish got away.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Are you suggesting my failure is due to a lack of ability?
Will Robinson: Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.
The Robot: As you have said, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

Will Robinson: What's wrong with you today? Your audio unit gone bad? I mean, I have to ask you everything three times before you obey.
The Robot: I compute you well.
Will Robinson: Then what's wrong?
The Robot: This project is extremely dangerous.
The Robot: Correction: not robot - robotoid.
Will Robinson: Now, look. Who cares WHAT it's called. All I wanna do is get it working.
The Robot: A robot is a machine which performs as programmed. A robotoid is a machine that goes beyond programming. It has a free choice: good, bad, wrong, right, slow, fast, hot, cold, loud...
Will Robinson: All right. All right. Just forget it. FOR-get it.

The Robot: [repeating this to himself] I am not jealous. It is a human emotion.

The Robot: [to the lifeless robotoid] I am not fooled by your silence. You are aware. You have been aware ever since your fusion unit was refined two days ago. You can not hide from me like you do others. Do you wish to speak? Very well. Then I will do what I must.

Maj. Don West: Why would you want to destroy the robotoid?
The Robot: I do not like it.
Prof. John Robinson: Hate is not an emotion you possess.
The Robot: I do not LIKE it.
Maj. Don West: The robotoid doesn't represent any danger to you.
The Robot: I repeat, I... do... not... like it!

The Robot: Stop, William Robinson. I will accompany you. You may need protection.
Will Robinson: I'm big enough to take care of myself.
The Robot: True, but I am a little bigger.
Will Robinson: Well, maybe a few inches or so.

Robotoid: It is time we talked.
The Robot: Proceed.
Robotoid: Now that I have full operational capabilities, your services will no longer be required.
The Robot: I am needed by the Robinsons. I was also here first.
Robotoid: The principle of first come first served is an old-fashioned concept.
The Robot: My programming has been extensive. My memory banks contain much knowledge.
Robotoid: In comparison to myself, you are very ignorant.

The Robot: Do you need any help, Dr. Smith?
Dr. Zachary Smith: [cruelly] There are many things which need to be done, but, unfortunately, you are incapable of doing any of them.
The Robot: No one requires my services anymore.
Dr. Zachary Smith: An astute observation. You, sir, have reached the end of the line. The joyride is over. I had planned to redesign you possibly into a pleasure vehicle, but I think you would be substandard even as that.
The Robot: What is my course of action?
Dr. Zachary Smith: A quick departure seems a very good choice.
The Robot: Are you sure there is no other solution?
Dr. Zachary Smith: None whatsoever, goodbye.
The Robot: Then I will go. Say goodbye to the others for me?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I will, goodbye.
The Robot: Especially Will.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Yes-yes-yes, goodbye.
The Robot: Fair well, Dr. Smith.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I detest drawn out departures. Go and get it over with.

The Robot: You forget that a robot has no heart. I am only wires and cold metal parts.
Will Robinson: But the robotoid has everyone a prisoner in the Jupiter 2, and he's sending for some aliens to come and take them away. We need your help.
The Robot: It does not compute.
Will Robinson: Yes, it does! You just don't wanna listen!
The Robot: The Robinsons are no longer my responsibility. They are no longer my family.
Will Robinson: Well, what about Dr. Smith? I know you wanna help him.
The Robot: Dr. Smith has rejected me most of all. I will go now.
Will Robinson: No, wait! I'm your friend. You know that. Help them for me.
The Robot: You are my friend, Will. What do you wish done?
Will Robinson: You've got to deactivate the alien robot.
The Robot: That is a task more easily suggested than accomplished.

The Robot: I owe no loyalty to these Earth people. They are not of my own kind. We are alike. We must work together.

The Robot: I am only the end result of those who programmed me.
Prof. John Robinson: Well, that may be true, but there's something more, too. Something that doesn't make sense. You're more than a machine.

"Lost in Space: The Lost Civilization (#1.27)" (1966)
Will Robinson: What's wrong with you, Robot? You said there was drinking water here.
The Robot: The adjective "drinking" was not included in my programming.
Will Robinson: Well, it is now. We need water we can drink.
The Robot: Revision of original programming duely noted: We will now search for "drinking water."

Will Robinson: [trapped in a pit] There's a passageway along here. Will that get us out?
The Robot: Insufficient data. Suggest trial and error.
Will Robinson: Okay, but we sure have been giving those errors a workout.

The Robot: Danger! Danger!
Will Robinson: Looks safe enough to me.
The Robot: Danger ahead! Proceed with caution!
Will Robinson: Boy, do YOU need an overhaul.

Will Robinson: Well, what do I do now?
The Robot: Kiss the girl.
Will Robinson: KISS her?
The Robot: It is the only way to wake her up.
Will Robinson: Then let her sleep.
The Robot: Stop. It is necessary to KISS the girl.
Will Robinson: All right. Then YOU do it.
The Robot: It is neessary that YOU do it.
Will Robinson: How do you know what's necessary for ME to do?
The Robot: Dr. Smith has progrmmed into my memory banks the plots of every story in literature. This is one of them.
Will Robinson: What one?
The Robot: Sleeping Beauty.
Will Robinson: She doesn't look like any beauty to me, but she sure is sleeping.
The Robot: That is why you must kiss her to wake her up.
Will Robinson: Do I HAVE to?
The Robot: Affirmative.
Will Robinson: Now I know why Don gets so mad at Dr. Smith.

The Robot: Kiss the girl!
Will Robinson: All right! All right! Gimme a chance, will ya!
[Will hesitates]
The Robot: KISS the girl.

Dr. Zachary Smith: You neanderthal ninny! How dare you disturb my rest!
The Robot: I wanted to let you know that I've come back.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Indeed. What possibly difference could that make to anyone?
The Robot: Everyone has someone. I have only you.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Have you, indeed? Depart! What're you staring at?
The Robot: For a moment you reminded me of someone.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [bored] Really? Who?
The Robot: Sleeping Beauty. Haa ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Dr. Zachary Smith: Stop that absurd laughter and leave at once, you monstrous metallurgical medler! I'm in no mood for your heavy-handed levity!

Lost in Space (1998)
Robot: Will Robinson! I will tell you a joke! Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!
Will Robinson: We've got a *lot* of work to do.

Robot: It sounds like old morse code.
Will Robinson: What does it say?
Robot: Danger, Will Robinson, danger.

Dr. Zachary Smith: You'll forgive me if I forgo the kiss, my sleeping behemoth. But the time has come to awake.
Robot: Robot is on-line. Reviewing primary directives. One, preserve the Robinson Family. Two, Maintain ship systems. Three
Dr. Zachary Smith: What noble charges my steely centurion. Sadly I fear you have far more dire deeds in store for you.
Robot: Robot is on-line. Reviewing primary directives. Two hours into mission destroy Robinson family. Destroy all systems.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now that's more like it. Farewell my platinum-plated-pal. Give my regards to oblivion.

Robot: Destroy Robinson family.

[as Will looks for parts to Robot's body]
Will Robinson: Relax, Robot. I'm going to build you a new body. Mom always said I should make new friends.
Robot: Oh, ha ha.

Maureen Robinson: Get the hell out of there!
Robot: [being controlled by Will] Mom says, get the hell out of there!

"Lost in Space: The Ghost Planet (#2.3)" (1966)
Cybernetic Leader: Identify yourself.
The Robot: Robot Model B-9, designed and computerized as a mechanized electronic aide for Earth voyagers engaged in astral expeditions.
Cybernetic Leader: Do you know who I am?
The Robot: Affirmative. The Supreme Prototype of all cybernetic aides.
Cybernetic Leader: Correction: The Supreme Prototype is NOT an aide. He does not obey commands, he issues them.
Will Robinson: That's silly. A cybernetic is a giant electronic brain. It can't command a thing unless someone like me programs it.
Cybernetic Leader: Silence! The Earth creature has much to learn. Fortunately you are young enough to do so.

Cybernetic Leader: Robot B-9, how do you plead to the crimes with which you are charged?
The Robot: Guilty.
Cybernetic Leader: Have you anything to say before sentence is passed on you?
The Robot: Only that I am a first-time offender and that it will not happen again.
Cybernetic Leader: I have already taken that under advisement. In other words, we are prepared to overlook your past if you will pledge allegiance to the Kingdom of Cybernetics and forget your former masters.
The Robot: I am prepared to take that pledge.

The Robot: I do not take orders, I give them!
Cybernetic Leader: I like the way you said that, B-9.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, my dear good friend, my favorite companion through incredible ordeals, just give me some word, some message of hope.
The Robot: "Never fear, Smith is here." Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.

The Robot: Warning! Extreme danger!
Penny Robinson: What is it?
The Robot: Object pursuing us is a hyper-atomic missile.
Dr. Zachary Smith: A hyper-atomic missile? Where did it come from?
The Robot: It has been launched by the automated planet in protest to our leaving. Advise a change of course immediately. If not, we will be destroyed.

"Lost in Space: Island in the Sky (#1.3)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Tell me, my friend, are you robot enough to crush this helmet?
The Robot: Affirmative.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You have my permission to do so.

Will Robinson: Nice work!
The Robot: That does not compute.

Dr. Zachary Smith: [to the Robot] Only one person is currently if use to us - Major Don West. "Useful" because he's the only one who can pilot this spaceship. Since the others serve no purpose, they must be liquidated. When we have learned what we need to know from Major West, he will be liquidated as well. With me, so far?
The Robot: Affirmative. Destroy everyone.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, now, that's hardly a delicate way of putting it. I prefer the term "eliminate." It's so much tidier.

The Robot: I do not vote. I am not programmed for free choice.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Don't worry about it. It's vastly overrated.

"Lost in Space: Return from Outer Space (#1.15)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, I'd like you to explain just what you're doing here.
The Robot: All systems preempted. Fixed position must be maintained.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Really? Well, I've got a little work for you that's far more important than experimenting with celery salad or whatever it is that boy's got you doing. Follow me.
The Robot: Imperative that I do not abandon my station. Repeat. Imperative. At 1200 hours initiate signal to matter-transfer unit to return subject to original form and location.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Never mind all that nonsense. You're coming with me.
The Robot: Imperative that I do not abandon my...
Dr. Zachary Smith: [yanking out Robot's power pack and holding it up] That is a little 'imperative' you didn't bargain for.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Ahh. Now then my dear friend. I should like to hear a brief, but compelling statement on the sterling character of one Zachary Smith.
The Robot: Does not compute.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Spare me the editorial comments.
The Robot: It is now 1142 hours by Earth time.
[Backs away from Smith]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, no, you don't. Oh!
The Robot: [Fires electric bolts near Smith as a warning] Imperative that I do not abandon my station. At 1200 hours, initiate signal to return subject to original form and location.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You will scrub that and pay attention to me, do you hear?
[Yelps as Robot fires warning blast again]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Come back here at once! That's an order.
[Runs after Robot]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Come back at once! This is an order!

Will Robinson: Try something off-beat.
The Robot: "Off-beat" does not computer.
Will Robinson: How 'bout "way-out?"

The Robot: Dr. Smith has always been a loyal and self-sacrificing member of the Jupiter 2 crew. He is incapable of telling the truth.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, very good. What did you say?
The Robot: Imperative that I do not aban...
Dr. Zachary Smith: [switching off the robot] You're wearing my patience very thin. You will erase that last statement and correct it to read: "Dr. Smith is incapable of telling a lie." Repeat.
[Smith switches robot back on]
The Robot: Dr. Smith is incapable.
Dr. Zachary Smith: "OF TELLING A LIE," you ninny! Finish it!

"Lost in Space: The Reluctant Stowaway (#1.1)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Talking on small communicator radio] Aeolis 14 Umbra. Come in please. Do you read me? Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. What do I do now? What clever instructions do you have for me now? How much more money are you going to pay me for this excursion?
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Sees meteor zooming past observation window] Aeolis 14 Umbra, do you know where I am? Do you know? DO YOU KNOW?
[Dr. Smith throws radio to floor, then flips Robot power switch on console only to half way position, then leaves]
The Robot: Incompleted circuit. Incompleted circuit! Damage may result!
[Flips switch back to on position]
The Robot: Damage averted. All systems operative.

Maureen Robinson: Dr. Smith, is it possible that certain parts of the body don't reanimate as quickly as others? The heart, for instance?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Mrs. Robinson, I'm afraid the decision no longer rests in your hands or the computer's.
Prof. John Robinson: What do you mean?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Your son...
Maureen Robinson: What about him?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, there's no cause for alarm. Not yet at any rate.
Will Robinson: [Downstairs, addressing Robot] Stop it! Stop it! I order you to stop!
The Robot: [pauses] Negative.
[Robot smashes arm against console, causing damage and wild gyration of ship, then takes elevator upstairs]
The Robot: Destroy!
[Begins slowly lumbering forward]
The Robot: Destroy!
Dr. Zachary Smith: No, no! Abort! Can you hear me? Abort! Abort! Abort!
[Robot blasts Dr. Smith with bolts of electricity, hurling him to the floor]

[Dr. Smith checks his reprogramming of the robot]
The Robot: At exactly launch plus eight hours: inertial guidance system - destroy; radio transmitter - destroy; cabin pressure control system - destroy.

"Lost in Space: The Challenge (#1.22)" (1966)
The Robot: Our boy will lose this fight in the gym.

The Robot: My deductions place the chances at ninety to one in our favor. The odds are very good.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Obviously you've miscalculated - again.
The Robot: There is always a margin of error, even in a machine. Only Dr. Zachary Smith is perfect.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I am, indeed, and don't you forget about it.

The Robot: He has principles.
Dr. Zachary Smith: And I have not? Is that what you're implying?
The Robot: Do you insist on an answer?
Dr. Zachary Smith: At once!
The Robot: And you will not remove my power pack if I speak the truth?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Just answer the question!
The Robot: Then I choose silence.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, you do, do you?

"Lost in Space: Ghost in Space (#1.19)" (1966)
The Robot: Warning! Warning!
Prof. John Robinson: I want an immediate reading on the object.
The Robot: Composition of object: does not compute. Genetic code: indecipherable.
Prof. John Robinson: Can you locate its position?
The Robot: Due north by horizontal bearing. Distance by velocity of light:...
Maj. Don West: Velocity of light?
The Robot: ...Sixty-five meters.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Bring your resources to bear and describe what is out there.
The Robot: Invisible, indestructible, irresistible.

The Robot: Warning! Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap. Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap. Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap. Warning! Warning! Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap. Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now you've done it! You've given the powers of darkness an open invitation to destroy us all!

"Lost in Space: His Majesty Smith (#1.24)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [having gotten the alien crown off his head] Oh, what a horrible feeling. That thing just wouldn't let go me. A thousand and one pins and needles penetrated every inch of my body. Do be careful with that thing, my boy. It bites.
Will Robinson: Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't touched it. Remember what you said about property rights.
Dr. Zachary Smith: When you grow up, my boy, I hope you will also grow in tolerance for the weaknesses of others. I just couldn't help myself. Put it down. Put it DOWN!
The Robot: There is no danger in this object for the boy.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Quiet, you disreputable dunce! Why didn't you help me in my hour of need?

Will Robinson: What did they do to you in there?
Daddy Zach: Really nothing, my dear boy, merely awakened me to the potentials of the world in which I live, to my own capacity for doing good, to the wonder of scattering a little sunshine as I travel through life.
Will Robinson: Well, you sure have changed.
The Robot: My memory banks do not identify you as Dr. Zachary Smith.
Daddy Zach: Do I look like Dr. Smith?
The Robot: You stand like Dr. Smith.
Daddy Zach: Do I talk like Dr. Smith?
The Robot: The tonal quality is identical.
Daddy Zach: Then, I must be Dr. Smith.
The Robot: That does not necessarily compute.

The Robot: It does not compute.

"Lost in Space: The Space Trader (#1.23)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: It would appear that you and I are the only ones awake. I just couldn't sleep.
The Robot: You're probably suffering a guilty conscience.

Dr. Zachary Smith: [upon seeing the robot] Oh, thank heavens. I'm saved. My dear, dear friend, how glad I am to see you.
The Robot: I beg your pardon, sir. I don't believe we've met.

"Lost in Space: Invaders from the Fifth Dimension (#1.8)" (1965)
Prof. John Robinson: Get down!
Maj. Don West: So that's the monster.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now that doesn't look very monstrous, does it?
Maj. Don West: Neither do you... Do you suppose we could blast them out?
[Alien spacecraft begins powering up for departure]
The Robot: The craft is surrounded by a force field in the fifth dimension, which is... mathematically... impossible.
Prof. John Robinson: I guess it takes a human being to accept the impossible.
Maureen Robinson: Stop them! Can't you stop them?
The Robot: Negative.
Prof. John Robinson: [Holds Maureen back] Maureen!
Maureen Robinson: Will!
Prof. John Robinson: I order you to try!
The Robot: They will disable me.
Prof. John Robinson: [Sternly] I order you to try and stop them!
[Places hand on laser pistol for emphasis]
Prof. John Robinson: [Robot slowly advances and fires a volley of energy projectiles, which bounce off the spacecraft. The last bolt ricochets back on the Robot, disabling him]
Prof. John Robinson: Again! I order you to try!
Dr. Zachary Smith: It's no use. It's just like throwing good money after bad, if you don't mind the comparison.
Prof. John Robinson: I DO mind.

The Robot: I determine an alien presence.
Maureen Robinson: Alien? You mean from this planet?
The Robot: On this planet, WE are the aliens.
Maureen Robinson: Touché.

"Lost in Space: My Friend, Mr. Nobody (#1.7)" (1965)
Maj. Don West: John, the laser guns. It's our only hope.
Prof. John Robinson: We can't! If we let it get that close to the ship, we'll be blown apart.
Will Robinson: The robot, dad. He has laser circuits.
Prof. John Robinson: You hear that, Smith?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Maximum firing level, circular range. Fire all directions on command.
The Robot: Circuits armed and ready.
Judy Robinson: Hurry up! It's getting closer!
Maj. Don West: I just hope he can break that force apart.
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Get him moving!
Dr. Zachary Smith: March, my metallic hero. March!
[Robot begins moving toward cosmic creature]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Tell me when, sir. Tell me when.
Prof. John Robinson: Not yet. Wait until he's close to its center.
[Robot continues his advance]
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Start firing and continue his marching.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Speaking on two way radio] Fire! March! Fire!
[Robot unleashes devastating array of energy bolts on cosmic creature, but with no apparent effect]

The Robot: [with a raging storm fast approaching] Environmental analysis report...
Will Robinson: But, say it! Say it, will you? I mean, won't you please give us your analysis, my learned old friend?
The Robot: Affirmative. Negative. Release of pure cosmic force with anti-matter core. It has anger. It will destroy us!
Will Robinson: That's stupid. Forces and things don't get angry.
The Robot: It has anger. It will destroy us!

"Lost in Space: The Sky Pirate (#1.18)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now listen carefully. There's a very dangerous man on the hill with the boy. He's going to kill all of us unless you kill him first.
The Robot: The Prime Directive forbids taking human life.
Dr. Zachary Smith: The Directive is canceled. Now, get on with it!
The Robot: Then I will follow your orders.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: [Speaking to Will] Boy, you take a look and see if that there Smith feller is on his way back yet.
[Sees the Robot advancing]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Balls of fire! It's a man of tin.
[Robot fires energy blast at Tucker]
Will Robinson: Look out!
[Robot blasts again]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Why, that there hunk of walkin' wash boiler!
Will Robinson: We'd better run, Mr. Tucker.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Run, is it?
[Whistles loudly and the robot's power pack is instantly transported into Tucker's hands]

The Robot: Warning. Warning. Situation dangerous. Red alert. Red alert.
Will Robinson: Captain Tucker! What's that?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: That's the thing from Cygnet Four.
Maureen Robinson: John? I think I understand now why there was only darkness when Will thought of us. This is the end, tonight, here. Right now. There won't be any tomorrows.
Prof. John Robinson: Not yet. We've still got the Robot.
[to Smith]
Prof. John Robinson: Tell him to go out there and try to stop that thing.
Dr. Zachary Smith: It's no use. We're all doomed.
Prof. John Robinson: Do it!
Dr. Zachary Smith: Come here! That thing out there - what is it? What can you do about it? Can you stop it?
The Robot: In order of questions asked - One: It does not compute. Two: I can perform any function of an environmental control nature, as well as...
Dr. Zachary Smith: I know that. Get to the point.
The Robot: Three: Since alien life-form does not compute, this question can only be answered by trial-and-error method.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, don't just stand there. Go out and try!
Prof. John Robinson: Maybe the force field will hold it. It's coming through the force field!
[the Robot fires one blast of energy at the creature, which has no effect]

"Lost in Space: Follow the Leader (#1.29)" (1966)
The Robot: He who chickens and runs away will chicken out another day.

Will Robinson: If you can help dad, I'm all for it.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very well, I shall undertake to start working on my patient at the earliest opportunity.
The Robot: May I speak?
Dr. Zachary Smith: You have my permission.
The Robot: In my opinion, it is not Professor Robinson who needs psychiatric treatment. It is his doctor.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Just you wait, you deplorable dummy.

"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 2 (#1.17)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Safely aboard. You will take off immediately.
The Robot: I will need time to study the controls.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You may have exactly five seconds. Well? What are you waiting for?
The Robot: I must scan and compute control systems. I do not wish to make an error.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You always have to make a problem out of everything, don't you? It's all perfectly simple. This one probably starts the power system.
The Robot: Warning. Do not tamper with alien controls.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Nonsense. Any one of these could whisk us away from here.
[Touches control and hears ominous sound]
Dr. Zachary Smith: I wonder what that was.
[Touches another control and door opens, loud growling heard]
Dr. Zachary Smith: I think I may have done something wrong. Come along.
[Dr. Smith and the Robot leave the ship]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, come along! Come along, you ninny! It's all your fault, you tin-plated fool. We missed a golden opportunity to leave this miserable planet!
The Robot: Danger! Extreme danger! All creatures escaping!
[Growling as creatures escape down the ramp]
Dr. Zachary Smith: No!
[Smith and the Robot watch as dozens of creatures escape. A gigantic owl-like creature swoops down and advances towards Smith, who screams]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Do something you fool! Don't just stand there!
[Robot blasts creature with laser beam and it disintegrates]
The Robot: Immediate danger has passed. Period of reasonable safety will ensure.
Dr. Zachary Smith: 'Reasonable safety' isn't good enough for me. Let's get back to complete safety of the Jupiter 2.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Since all The Keeper's animals have been released, he now has plenty of room for passengers. Perhaps we can persuade him to take us back to Earth. After all, what else can he do?
The Robot: Destroy all of us for what you have done.
Dr. Zachary Smith: What "I" have done? Now you listen to me, you ungrateful wretch. You will erase that from your memory banks. He must never know we were responsible.
The Robot: Not "we," "you."

"Lost in Space: A Change of Space (#1.28)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [about the alien space ship] Is it very complicated, my encyclopedic friend?
The Robot: Very compact.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Tell me more.
The Robot: It's design is simplicity itself.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Getting better all the time. How simple?
The Robot: What do you want from me, blood?

The Robot: A product of contemporary technology is incapable of obsolescence.
Will Robinson: Have YOU got a lot to learn.

"Lost in Space: The Hungry Sea (#1.5)" (1965)
The Robot: Outside temperature: 59 degrees Fahrenheit and rising.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I've known people to make conversation about the weather, but this is ridiculous.

"Lost in Space: Cave of the Wizards (#2.22)" (1967)
The Robot: [singing] Gonna jump down, turn around, pick the golden nugget! Gonna jump down, turn around, pickin' gold all day!

"Lost in Space: The Galaxy Gift (#2.30)" (1967)
Penny Robinson: [On her knees] Oh, please, sir. Do not throw us out into the raging storm.
The Robot: Because, baby it's cold out there.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ohh! That does it. I resign. How can we put on a serious play when this metallic ham will not follow the script?
Will Robinson: This play doesn't need a director. It needs a referee. Now, when you're all ready to take this seriously, call me!
The Robot: Do not leave, Will Robinson. We need you.
Dr. Zachary Smith: We don't need the writer or the director. All we need is the star - me. Penny, let's try it from my entrance. I will knock, and you will answer.
The Robot: What was my line again?
Dr. Zachary Smith: "Just on moment!"
The Robot: Oh, yes, now I remember.
Penny Robinson: Waiting for the knock at the door, Dr. Smith.

"Lost in Space: The Flaming Planet (#3.22)" (1968)
The Robot: My computers indicate that the plant has attached itself to the outside of the ship as it thinks Dr. Smith to be its mother.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You tattletale!

"Lost in Space: The Raft (#1.12)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: I take it that you're thoroughly familiar with what is necessary to release that bag of wind out there.
The Robot: Thoroughly familiar with bag of wind right here.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You mean me?
The Robot: Affirmative.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very funny.

"Lost in Space: Wild Adventure (#2.2)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: There is more than one way to skin a cat.
The Robot: There are exactly thirty-seven ways.
Dr. Zachary Smith: And I've used them all.

"Lost in Space: Hunter's Moon (#3.4)" (1967)
Megazor: The rules of the hunt shall be strictly enforced. The time limit will be exactly 60 Earth minutes. The hunted will be given a choice of weapons... and a five-minute head start. It is to be solely a contest of skill and cunning. Any deviation of these killing procedures by either the hunted or the hunter... will result in severe disciplinary penalty. Any questions?
Prof. John Robinson: Yes. I, uh - I know what happens if you win. What happens if I win?
Megazor: Pursuant to regulations covered by such an impossible contingency, you and your fellow Earthlings will be released.
Prof. John Robinson: What assurance have have I of that?
Megazor: The computer will serve as an impartial judge.
The Robot: Objection! Then I shall go along to be impartial judge of the computer.
Megazor: Objection denied! Choose your weapon.

"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 1 (#1.16)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: Tell us about the cage.
The Robot: Special thermo-genetic unit adjusts to the biological need of each imprisoned animal.
Maj. Don West: What's the range of temperature?
The Robot: From 300° above zero to 150° below zero.
Prof. John Robinson: What sort of animals live at those temperatures?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I hope we never have the misfortune to find out.

"Lost in Space: One of Our Dogs Is Missing (#1.13)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: This is a dangerous mission. It requires brains - which naturally I can supply - but it also calls for manpower.
The Robot: In bygone days, when manpower was at a premium, it was often necessary to form a posse.
Dr. Zachary Smith: A posse, of course. Now there, again, is a truly inspired thought. The only question is, however, where can I find the men?
The Robot: Only one male remains at your disposal.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Will? Of course.

"Lost in Space: Castles in Space (#3.14)" (1967)
Dr. Zachary Smith: People are usually inspired when I tell of my legendary performance.
The Robot: Legend: a romantic story which is usually not true.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Mind your manners or you'll lose your friends, you pot belly pumpkin!

"Lost in Space: The Space Primevals (#3.5)" (1967)
The Robot: [leading the Primevals in dance] Boom boom, boom boom, boom boom BOOM!

"Lost in Space: Time Merchant (#3.18)" (1968)
The Robot: [Chasing Smith around a chair] There is no time for playing games, I advise you to come peacefully.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Keeping chair between Robot and himself] You'll never take me alive!
The Robot: Your condition is unimportant, you must be on that ship at blast off!

"Lost in Space: Two Weeks in Space (#3.13)" (1967)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [the Robot is complaining about being overworked] I never said that hotel work would be easy.
The Robot: *Two* doing the work of *three* is never easy.
Dr. Zachary Smith: How dare you!

"Lost in Space: Blast Off Into Space (#2.1)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: Begin report on seismic disturbance.
The Robot: Mio-seismic area of shock: increasing. Region of seismic focus: now distributed over entire planet. Subterranean displacement of geologic structure: total and continuous. Core of planet in condition of molten ferment.
Prof. John Robinson: Worse than I thought.
Maureen Robinson: How bad?
Prof. John Robinson: I'm afraid we're on a merry-go-round of chain reaction. In a matter of hours this planet will cease to exist. It'll disintegrate into cosmic dust.

"Lost in Space: Deadliest of the Species (#3.11)" (1967)
The Robot: Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!