Will Robinson
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Quotes for
Will Robinson (Character)
from "Lost in Space" (1965)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Lost in Space (1998)
Robot: Will Robinson! I will tell you a joke! Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!
Will Robinson: We've got a *lot* of work to do.

Robot: It sounds like old morse code.
Will Robinson: What does it say?
Robot: Danger, Will Robinson, danger.

Penny Robinson: [to her diary] On this eve before she is torn from all she knows, kidnapped, hurled into deep space against her will, what thoughts fill the mind of the young space captive?
Will Robinson: Will there be boys on Alpha Prime? Whatever will I wear?

[as Will looks for parts to Robot's body]
Will Robinson: Relax, Robot. I'm going to build you a new body. Mom always said I should make new friends.
Robot: Oh, ha ha.

Will Robinson: Oh, shit.
Dr. Zachary Smith: A boy of your intelligence should never swear... Oh, shit.

[Will, through the robot's holographic interface, sees the spiders eating the other injured spiders]
Will Robinson: Eww. They eat their wounded.

Will Robinson: [speaking through Robot] Mom says to get the hell outta there!

Maureen Robinson: Get the hell out of there!
Will Robinson: [speaking through the Robot] Mom says to get the hell out of there.

[First night on an unknown unfriendly looking planet they crashed on]
Maureen Robinson: Good night, John.
John Robinson: Good night, Maureen.
Will Robinson: Good night, Judy.
Penny Robinson: Good night, Will.
Judy Robinson: Good night, Penny.
[pause]
Major West: You guys have got to be kidding.

Will Robinson: [to Penny] Do they have a name for what's wrong with you?

Will Robinson: Can we cut back on her air supply so she's not so annoying when she wakes up?
Penny Robinson: Does he have to wake up at all?

Will Robinson: [after seeing the old ship 20 years into the future] Oh shit!
Dr. Zachary Smith: A boy of your intelligence should never swear.
[Smith sees the old ship]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh shit. Indeed.

[last lines]
John Robinson: [before the Jupiter goes into hyperdrive] Initiate now.
Will Robinson: Cool!

Monster Smith: Haven't you made the doorway... too small?
Older Will: Not for me. But then, I'm not going, am I? The spiders didn't kill the girls. It was you. I just didn't let myself see it. You kept me alive because you needed me. Because I could build this for you.
Monster Smith: Poor, poor boy. Did you think that I would let you go? After all that I have become? Look at me. I am no mere man.
[He takes off the clothes covering him to reveal a spider/human figure]
Monster Smith: I am a god. Within these eggsacks lives a monster race of spiders. We shall descend upon helpless Earth. An entire planet on which to rule. An entire planet on which to feed! Time to die, *son*.
Older Will: I'm not your son!


"Lost in Space: The Sky Pirate (#1.18)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now listen carefully. There's a very dangerous man on the hill with the boy. He's going to kill all of us unless you kill him first.
The Robot: The Prime Directive forbids taking human life.
Dr. Zachary Smith: The Directive is canceled. Now, get on with it!
The Robot: Then I will follow your orders.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: [Speaking to Will] Boy, you take a look and see if that there Smith feller is on his way back yet.
[Sees the Robot advancing]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Balls of fire! It's a man of tin.
[Robot fires energy blast at Tucker]
Will Robinson: Look out!
[Robot blasts again]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Why, that there hunk of walkin' wash boiler!
Will Robinson: We'd better run, Mr. Tucker.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Run, is it?
[Whistles loudly and the robot's power pack is instantly transported into Tucker's hands]

The Robot: Warning. Warning. Situation dangerous. Red alert. Red alert.
Will Robinson: Captain Tucker! What's that?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: That's the thing from Cygnet Four.
Maureen Robinson: John? I think I understand now why there was only darkness when Will thought of us. This is the end, tonight, here. Right now. There won't be any tomorrows.
Prof. John Robinson: Not yet. We've still got the Robot.
[to Smith]
Prof. John Robinson: Tell him to go out there and try to stop that thing.
Dr. Zachary Smith: It's no use. We're all doomed.
Prof. John Robinson: Do it!
Dr. Zachary Smith: Come here! That thing out there - what is it? What can you do about it? Can you stop it?
The Robot: In order of questions asked - One: It does not compute. Two: I can perform any function of an environmental control nature, as well as...
Dr. Zachary Smith: I know that. Get to the point.
The Robot: Three: Since alien life-form does not compute, this question can only be answered by trial-and-error method.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, don't just stand there. Go out and try!
Prof. John Robinson: Maybe the force field will hold it. It's coming through the force field!
[the Robot fires one blast of energy at the creature, which has no effect]

Will Robinson: [about Dr. Smith's unconsciousness] What happened to him?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, danged if I know. He took one look at me, he yelled and right up and fainted. Delicate kind of a cuss, ain't he?

Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Come down here and let's see what we got a hold o' here. Ah-ehh. Ehh. Ehh, looks like a scrubby boy. Talks like a scrubby boy. Acts like a scrubby boy - but I'll bet you ain't a scrubby boy!
Will Robinson: You bet I'm not.

Will Robinson: Why did you become a pirate?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: What's wrong with bein' a pirate?
Will Robinson: It's wrong. That's all.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, now, that depends on what kind of a pirate.
Will Robinson: S'there more than one kind?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Course there are.
Will Robinson: What kind of pirate are you?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Nyeh... Well... I'm an HONEST pirate.

Will Robinson: You mean, you've got a treasure?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, now, course I got a treasure. Every self-respecting pirate's got a treasure, and mine's big as any of 'em.

Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: I'm gonna have to tie ya up, I'm afraid.
Will Robinson: Tie me up?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, you're my prisoner, ain't cha? How'm I gonna get a good night's sleep with a prisoner a runnin' around loose?
Will Robinson: Even if I promise I won't run away?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Promises, heh-heh... Unless, ah... No, no. No, you wouldn't wanna do that there, even if it meant that you wouldn't have to be tied up all night with maybe a loss of circulation 'n' cramps 'n' sickness and such.
Will Robinson: Wouldn't want to do what?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Take the pirate's oath. Eh... No! No, I... I wouldn't ask you to do that, nice boy like you. No! I bet you go to Sunday school and things like that back where you came from. No, I wouldn't dare ask you to do anythin' so awful and so blood-curdling and terrible as take the pirate's oath, ehh.
Will Robinson: Well, maybe you could just give me a little one.

Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Now, then, you say after me: I swear...
Will Robinson: I swear...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: ...By this here blood...
Will Robinson: ...By this here blood...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate ever took this oath...
Will Robinson: ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate that ever took this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Will Robinson: ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: And, eh, if I ever break this oath...
Will Robinson: And if I ever break this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: ...I hope I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Will Robinson: ...I hope...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Eh...
Will Robinson: ...I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: ...So help me.
Will Robinson: ...S-so help me.

Will Robinson: What are we hiding from, Capt. Tucker?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, I guess you'd call it a thing. Uh, it's from Signet Four.
Will Robinson: What kind of thing?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Oh, oh, arr, it's just too awful to describe.
Will Robinson: Why don't you just blast it with your nucleonic planet buster?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Oh! Oh, yes. Of course, yeah. Yes, of course... my nucleonic planet buster. I... That's right. Maybe I will.


"Lost in Space: A Change of Space (#1.28)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: Will? Your mother asked you a question.
Will Robinson: Not really, Dad. She was just expressing her momentary emotional anxiety in rhetorical terms. Certainly the state of my physical well-being should be apparent to all.

Will Robinson: I don't like obvious flattery, Dr. Smith. Next time try to be a little more subtle.

Will Robinson: I wasn't aware that anything had happened to me, and if you insist on asking these primitive and emotional questions, I won't be able to tell you anything.

Will Robinson: [at the chess board] Don't trouble yourself, Dr. Smith. We're not evenly matched.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Perhaps not, but we COULD have a little chat.
Will Robinson: About what?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, ships and shoes and sealing wax.
Will Robinson: In other words, multidimensional excursion vehicles.

Dr. Zachary Smith: How would you like to give me a few pointers on the technique involved in piloting that vehicle?
Will Robinson: For what ulterior motives, Dr. Smith?
Dr. Zachary Smith: [affronted] Ulterior motives? I?
Will Robinson: All right, then I'll explain them to you: One, you can hardly wait to leave. Two, you're hoping that if you can learn to fly that vehicle, it'll make you some sort of Lord of the Galaxies. Three, if you can ever guide it back to Earth, you'll become... President of the United States at the very least.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Really. I hadn't thought of that, but it does sound intriguing. Go on.
Will Robinson: I'm sorry, Dr. Smith, but you and I don't communicate on the same level of maturity.

The Robot: A product of contemporary technology is incapable of obsolescence.
Will Robinson: Have YOU got a lot to learn.

Dr. Zachary Smith: I've made a very important decision, Will.
Will Robinson: Oh? Who do you plan to get in trouble THIS time?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, ye of little faith.

Dr. Zachary Smith: You're not very kind, are you? All I want is to see you happy, to give you the companionship and the understanding that you deserve. Isn't that what you need?
Will Robinson: It might be nice to have someone I wouldn't have to talk down to, but there's just one problem.
Dr. Zachary Smith: What problem?
Will Robinson: You're not doing this for me.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, my dear misguided boy!
Will Robinson: We might get on a whole lot better if you'd admit you're doing this for yourself, Dr. Smith.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You have cut me to the quick. What can I say?
Will Robinson: It doesn't matter, 'cause I'd see through it no matter WHAT you said.

Will Robinson: It's not much fun when you have to explain things to your own father, and everyone else besides.


"Lost in Space: Return from Outer Space (#1.15)" (1965)
Will Robinson: Try something off-beat.
The Robot: "Off-beat" does not computer.
Will Robinson: How 'bout "way-out?"

Will Robinson: [to himself after Prof. Robinson declares he'll destroy the alien matter transfer device in the morning] I don't see why they have to destroy it. It's not doin' THEM any harm. It can do just about anything, maybe even transfer me. I might not get back. Maybe the robot... maybe he could command it to send me to Earth, and maybe I could get back by reversing the signals. Gosh, I could tell 'em we're alive and where we are and everything - at least close enough for them to make a stab at finding us with a rescue ship. I'm not gonna be doin' anything with it, not unless I can figure a way to stop them from burning it.

Davey Sims: Why don't you just come over to my house and you can phone your mother from there?
Will Robinson: My mother's at least ten light years from here. So's the rest of my family.
Davey Sims: Oh, your "mother's at least ten light years from here." You know, you kids are getting whackier every day.

Aunt Clara Sims: You must have been very hungry.
Will Robinson: Not exactly, but we're on short rations on Priplanus on account of something went wrong with the food storage purifier.
Aunt Clara Sims: Oh, that is a shame.

Will Robinson: Will I be able to make my phone call soon?
Sheriff George Baxendale: Hey, don't you worry, sonny. Where they're gonna take you you'll get to do a lot of things.

Theodore: All right, Jupiter, what's a stellar interferometer?
Will Robinson: It's an instrument for measuring the diameter of the stars.
Theodore: All right, how many miles in a parsec?
Will Robinson: Nineteen million one-hundred and fifty thousand.
First Boy: Hey, how far is it to Alpha Centauri?
Will Robinson: 5.3 light years.
Theodore: Well, he coulda learned all that stuff from a comic book.
Will Robinson: Except I didn't. And I'll bet you don't even know what a Doppler effect is.
Theodore: Well, sure I do, it's... it's kind of a rainbow.
Will Robinson: You call THAT a scientific answer? He got THAT from a comic book.

Davey Sims: Uh, Aunt Clara, she was talking about having you stay with us. Like... like permanent.
Will Robinson: Well, whatever she said was wrong. When Alpha Control finds out how you kept me here, I wouldn't be surprised if they put you away for life.

Will Robinson: Well, I've been on Earth all morning in a little place called Hatfield Four Corners in Vermont. They sure are behind the times there. They wouldn't even let me call Alpha Control to send a rescue ship. They thought I was some kind of nut.
Maureen Robinson: Oh, Will, I think you'd better watch that imagination of yours or we might all think the same thing.


"Lost in Space: The Space Croppers (#1.25)" (1966)
[a lowly howl is heard]
Dr. Zachary Smith: What was that?
Will Robinson: Sounded like a wolf to me.
Penny Robinson: There can't be any wolves out here.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, yes, there can. Look!
Will Robinson: All I see are the two moons, and we've seen them before.
Dr. Zachary Smith: But never so bursting with fullness.
Penny Robinson: Is that bad?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Bad, my dear child? It portends the very worst of evil happenings, the night the witches dance and the misbegotten creatures of doom walk the earth, when the dark and dismal voices...
[another lowly howl interrupts]

Dr. Zachary Smith: We should never have stayed out this late.
Will Robinson: And whose fault is that?
Dr. Zachary Smith: This is no time for idle recriminations.

Will Robinson: If we could get the pipeline finished early, you could go on that safari later.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ah, much as I would like to, I'm afraid this pipeline comes first, and it will probably take me a week.
Will Robinson: But it'll be too late then. The moons will wane.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ah, true, very true.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Ahh, if only this pipeline were finished, then, my boy, you would see Dr. Smith at his best - stalking the beast, cornering him, cowering him with a look.
Will Robinson: Boy, I sure would hate to see you miss a chance like that.

Maj. Don West: Well, where is this fascinating family located, Smith. I think we'd all like to meet 'em.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, you will, you will. They need a little more time to settle in. They're not quite ready to receive visitors.
Prof. John Robinson: Oh, is THAT what they said?
Will Robinson: Yeah, with a shotgun.

Will Robinson: Dr. Smith, you don't belong with her OR with them. You belong with us. And you don't know what terrible things are gonna happen to you when you go with them, and you'll be too far away from us to help you.
Sybilla: [to Dr. Smith] I could dissolve him very easily from here. I could squash him squishy.


"Lost in Space: Attack of the Monster Plants (#1.14)" (1965)
Maureen Robinson: Will, Dr. Smith asked you to do something.
Will Robinson: He's ALWAYS asking me to do something.

Will Robinson: [having just rescued John and Don from quicksand] I'd have been here even quicker if Dr. Smith had told me you were in trouble.
Maj. Don West: Now he's in trouble.

Will Robinson: My father doesn't lie.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, sometimes it's easier not to speak the whole truth.

Prof. John Robinson: He tricked you, Will. He gave you this fake and kept the real deutronium.
Will Robinson: But why?
Maj. Don West: Because he knows we can't go back to Earth unless we have enough deutronium, and he's trying to blackmail us into taking him, but what he doesn't know, Will, is that while you were gone we found our last little pocket in that vein and already have enough deutronium without his canister.

Will Robinson: Too bad you couldn't find the deutronium, Dr. Smith, but you shouldn't have tried to trick me.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I didn't just try, I succeeded. Let's not forget that!

Maj. Don West: You know, it's really a shame, Dr. Smith, but, uh, things don't look too good for you at all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: The condition you find most cheering.
Maj. Don West: [enjoying this greatly] Not at all. As a matter of fact, when I compute the fuel-to-weight ratio, which we already know is going to be very critical, I'll do my best to include us all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [bitterly] I'm deeply touched.
Penny Robinson: Does that mean I can take the bloop?
Dr. Zachary Smith: How can you even think of taking that beast when I may have to remain?
Will Robinson: I think THE BLOOP should go!
Penny Robinson: So do I!
Maj. Don West: Well, we don't have a capsule for the bloop so, uh, that's out of the question.
Will Robinson: I'll BUILD her a capsule!
Maj. Don West: [heartily shaking hands with Will] That's a deal! You build a capsule for the bloop and she goes!
Maj. Don West: [sadly to Smith] Of course, that cuts the available weight still further. Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Smith, but things don't look very good for you at all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Bloop, indeed!


"Lost in Space: The Lost Civilization (#1.27)" (1966)
Will Robinson: What's wrong with you, Robot? You said there was drinking water here.
The Robot: The adjective "drinking" was not included in my programming.
Will Robinson: Well, it is now. We need water we can drink.
The Robot: Revision of original programming duely noted: We will now search for "drinking water."

Will Robinson: [trapped in a pit] There's a passageway along here. Will that get us out?
The Robot: Insufficient data. Suggest trial and error.
Will Robinson: Okay, but we sure have been giving those errors a workout.

The Robot: Danger! Danger!
Will Robinson: Looks safe enough to me.
The Robot: Danger ahead! Proceed with caution!
Will Robinson: Boy, do YOU need an overhaul.

Will Robinson: Well, what do I do now?
The Robot: Kiss the girl.
Will Robinson: KISS her?
The Robot: It is the only way to wake her up.
Will Robinson: Then let her sleep.
The Robot: Stop. It is necessary to KISS the girl.
Will Robinson: All right. Then YOU do it.
The Robot: It is neessary that YOU do it.
Will Robinson: How do you know what's necessary for ME to do?
The Robot: Dr. Smith has progrmmed into my memory banks the plots of every story in literature. This is one of them.
Will Robinson: What one?
The Robot: Sleeping Beauty.
Will Robinson: She doesn't look like any beauty to me, but she sure is sleeping.
The Robot: That is why you must kiss her to wake her up.
Will Robinson: Do I HAVE to?
The Robot: Affirmative.
Will Robinson: Now I know why Don gets so mad at Dr. Smith.

The Robot: Kiss the girl!
Will Robinson: All right! All right! Gimme a chance, will ya!
[Will hesitates]
The Robot: KISS the girl.

Will Robinson: Marry that girl? I can't do it!
Major Domo: You WILL do it!
Will Robinson: I can't get married. I'm just a kid!
Major Domo: You were old enough to fight your way to her side!
Will Robinson: I didn't fight anybody. I can't get married. I couldn't even SUPPORT a wife! I haven't got a job.


"Lost in Space: His Majesty Smith (#1.24)" (1966)
Announcer: [voiceover] Last week, as you recall, Will had joined Dr. Smith and the robot in a search for wild truffles, little dreaming that they would find something far different, something that would plunge them into an incredible adventure with creatures from another, mysterious world.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Dr. Smith, look! A crown!
Will Robinson: I see it's a crown. I have eyes in my head. The question is, what is a crown doing here?

Dr. Zachary Smith: [having gotten the alien crown off his head] Oh, what a horrible feeling. That thing just wouldn't let go me. A thousand and one pins and needles penetrated every inch of my body. Do be careful with that thing, my boy. It bites.
Will Robinson: Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't touched it. Remember what you said about property rights.
Dr. Zachary Smith: When you grow up, my boy, I hope you will also grow in tolerance for the weaknesses of others. I just couldn't help myself. Put it down. Put it DOWN!
The Robot: There is no danger in this object for the boy.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Quiet, you disreputable dunce! Why didn't you help me in my hour of need?

Nexus: I am Nexus of Andronica. My companions and I have crossed ninety light years of space seeking a being worthy to wear that crown. At last we have found him. All hail our majesty.
Will Robinson: My name's Will Robinson, Mr. Nexus, but I'm not a king. I'm only from the planet Earth.

Will Robinson: What did they do to you in there?
Daddy Zach: Really nothing, my dear boy, merely awakened me to the potentials of the world in which I live, to my own capacity for doing good, to the wonder of scattering a little sunshine as I travel through life.
Will Robinson: Well, you sure have changed.
The Robot: My memory banks do not identify you as Dr. Zachary Smith.
Daddy Zach: Do I look like Dr. Smith?
The Robot: You stand like Dr. Smith.
Daddy Zach: Do I talk like Dr. Smith?
The Robot: The tonal quality is identical.
Daddy Zach: Then, I must be Dr. Smith.
The Robot: That does not necessarily compute.

Will Robinson: Daddy Zach...
Dr. Zachary Smith: Daddy Zach, indeed! I never want to hear that revolting name ever again in my presence!

Daddy Zach: Good morning, dear boy. Why don't you just sit down and let Daddy Zack bring your breakfast.
Will Robinson: "Daddy... ZACK?"


"Lost in Space: The Derelict (#1.2)" (1965)
[With John and Maureen passed out from the heat of an approaching comet, Don struggles to open the jammed hatch door and pull them inside]
Dr. Zachary Smith: I hope you children are more familiar with the navigation of this ship than I am.
Will Robinson: Why?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, if the heat out there should affect our pilot...
Will Robinson: [angrily] D'you always have to say things like that?

[the robot won't obey]
Will Robinson: [imitating Dr. Smith] Two steps forward, my mechanical friend.
[the robot obeys]

Will Robinson: [seeing Dr. Smith raise his gun] No! Don't shoot! He was in that thing. I disturbed him. I think I can communicate with him.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [horrified] Not human! Nothing! And I was so sure.
Will Robinson: Human? Out here? Billions of miles from the Earth?
[Smith raises gun]
Will Robinson: No! Don't! Maybe they can help us. I mean, they're not like us, but maybe they are.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very well, my boy. See what you can do.

[the roused alien gives off an electrical discharge, quite possibly its manner of communication]
Dr. Zachary Smith: What do you suppose THAT means?
Will Robinson: I don't know. I don't think it likes being asked to guide us anywhere.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Let me try.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [to alien] Uh, we are from the planet Earth. Uh, we're perfectly willing to stay here if you show ME how your guidence system can get us back there.
Will Robinson: But we don't WANNA go back there to Earth, Dr. Smith. We wanna go to Alpha Centauri.
Dr. Zachary Smith: YOU do. Not I. Doesn't really mater. It doesn't seem very cooperative.
Will Robinson: He WAS before YOU got here.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very well. Try again. And I hope you realize how important their guidence system would be to us.
Will Robinson: [to alien] My parents are on the Jupiter 2 spaceship, and my sisters and Major West - he's our pilot - and Dr. Smith here... well... he just seemed to be aboard when we lifted off.
Dr. Zachary Smith: He's not intersted in your passenger list. Ask him something sensible.
Will Robinson: I can't ask him ANYTHING until I get him to realize I don't mean him any harm!
Will Robinson: [to alien] We are friendly. We're from the planet Earth. We are on our way to Alpha Centauri.
Dr. Zachary Smith: No, no, no! Back to Earth!
Will Robinson: He doesn't seem to read me no matter WHAT I say.
Dr. Zachary Smith: He'll read THIS!
[Dr. Smith shoots the alien]
Will Robinson: You've ruined EVERYTHING!

Maureen Robinson: We have no BUSINESS trying to land on that planet!
Will Robinson: Oh, Mother.
Maureen Robinson: We're settlers, not explorers! We have a specific destination to reach!


"Lost in Space: The Challenge (#1.22)" (1966)
Will Robinson: If no one else needs me, I'm going hunting for rock specimens.
Quano: I, too, am going hunting. Shall we go together?
Will Robinson: Sure. Why not?
Penny Robinson: I'm coming along, too.
Quano: You will stay! You were not asked.
Quano: [to Will] Let us go.

Quano: You are weak and soft like all boys of your planet.
Will Robinson: Maybe you'd like to find out how weak and soft I am.
Quano: Nothing would please me more.

Quano: Like father like son - both are cowards.
Will Robinson: You take that back!

Quano: I am very brave and strong. Would you like to fight and see who is the better man?
Will Robinson: Fight? I'd rather be your friend.
Quano: You are afraid of me. You are a coward.
Will Robinson: [riled] You better watch who you're callin' names, 'cause if you're LOOKIN' for a fight...

Quano: I truly feel sorry for you, wasting your time in idle pursuits. It is unmanly.
Will Robinson: Now, let's not start THAT again.
Quano: But it is true! You are my age and still you act like a small boy.
Will Robinson: Well, whadda you expect me to do - go around stickin' my chest out, tellin' everyone what a tough guy I am?


"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 1 (#1.16)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: When I was a child I, too, thought like a child, but when I became a man, I had to think like a man.
Will Robinson: I don't think it matters WHAT age you are: if you're dishonest you're dishonest, and that's all there is to it.

The Keeper: Sorry to startle you, children. I've been around animals so long I've begun to move as quietly as they do.
Will Robinson: We were concentrating hard on our work or we would have heard you.
The Keeper: I'm sure you would have. The young have very sharp ears.

Will Robinson: Are you out hunting for animals, Mr. Keeper?
The Keeper: In a manner of speaking, yes.

The Keeper: I see you've changed your minds about leaving.
Will Robinson: [mesmerized] We're sorry, sir. We really want to stay with you.
Penny Robinson: [mesmerized] For always, Mr. Keeper. Always.
The Keeper: And so you shall, for always.

Will Robinson: How do you like it?
Penny Robinson: Before I answer, you better tell me what it is.
Will Robinson: Didn't you ever read Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn? It's a slingshot. Back in the eighteen and nineteenth century almost every boy made one of these.
Penny Robinson: What for?
Will Robinson: To carry with his penknife and marbles, I guess.


"Lost in Space: War of the Robots (#1.20)" (1966)
The Robot: [to Dr. Smith] Object fish has eluded capture.
Will Robinson: He got away, sir.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Not even the greatest expert could have landed that monster. He must have weighed a hundred pounds.
Will Robinson: ALL your fish got away.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Are you suggesting my failure is due to a lack of ability?
Will Robinson: Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.
The Robot: As you have said, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

Will Robinson: What's wrong with you today? Your audio unit gone bad? I mean, I have to ask you everything three times before you obey.
The Robot: I compute you well.
Will Robinson: Then what's wrong?
The Robot: This project is extremely dangerous.
Will Robinson: NOW, LOOK! I'M NOT GONNA GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! I'M GONNA GET THIS ROBOT FIXED AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!
The Robot: Correction: not robot - robotoid.
Will Robinson: Now, look. Who cares WHAT it's called. All I wanna do is get it working.
The Robot: A robot is a machine which performs as programmed. A robotoid is a machine that goes beyond programming. It has a free choice: good, bad, wrong, right, slow, fast, hot, cold, loud...
Will Robinson: All right. All right. Just forget it. FOR-get it.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Spare the punishment and spoil the robot? Is that what you want, sir?
Prof. John Robinson: We're dealing with a machine, not a child.
Will Robinson: The way HE'S been acting lately, I'm not so sure.

The Robot: Stop, William Robinson. I will accompany you. You may need protection.
Will Robinson: I'm big enough to take care of myself.
The Robot: True, but I am a little bigger.
Will Robinson: Well, maybe a few inches or so.

The Robot: You forget that a robot has no heart. I am only wires and cold metal parts.
Will Robinson: But the robotoid has everyone a prisoner in the Jupiter 2, and he's sending for some aliens to come and take them away. We need your help.
The Robot: It does not compute.
Will Robinson: Yes, it does! You just don't wanna listen!
The Robot: The Robinsons are no longer my responsibility. They are no longer my family.
Will Robinson: Well, what about Dr. Smith? I know you wanna help him.
The Robot: Dr. Smith has rejected me most of all. I will go now.
Will Robinson: No, wait! I'm your friend. You know that. Help them for me.
The Robot: You are my friend, Will. What do you wish done?
Will Robinson: You've got to deactivate the alien robot.
The Robot: That is a task more easily suggested than accomplished.


"Lost in Space: Wish Upon a Star (#1.11)" (1965)
Prof. John Robinson: We don't have a farm anymore.
Will Robinson: What happened to it?
Prof. John Robinson: It died of neglect!

Will Robinson: I brought you some breakfast.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ah, most kind of you, my boy - ah - but as an expert woodsman I find no difficulty living off the land.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Now, uh, what about a piece of delicious French pastry? Can't make up your mind?
Will Robinson: I was just thinking about Penny and Judy and everyone else.
Dr. Zachary Smith: So?
Will Robinson: It wouldn't be fair for me to have cake when they couldn't.
Dr. Zachary Smith: A noble gesture but hardly realistic.

Will Robinson: You said all you wanted to do was check out the machine.
Dr. Zachary Smith: That's exactly what I've been doing.
Will Robinson: For four days?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, you see, uh, science is a matter of, uh, trial and error. I had to be sure there was no danger.
Will Robinson: Have you found any?
Dr. Zachary Smith: There are certain problems, uh, but as soon as they're ironed out...
Will Robinson: When will that be?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Uh... eventually, my boy. Eventually.
Will Robinson: What you really mean is - never, don't you, sir?

Will Robinson: But why work when the machine can do it FOR you?
Prof. John Robinson: Will, up to now, this family's been getting along very well. We have respect and love for one another - and you can not wish for those things with THAT. Now we get this, a machine that makes dreams come true, and instead of making us happier, it sows the seeds of discontent, mistrust and indolence. I said "a machine that makes dreams come true..." Nightmares can also be dreams.


"Lost in Space: The Reluctant Stowaway (#1.1)" (1965)
Maureen Robinson: Dr. Smith, is it possible that certain parts of the body don't reanimate as quickly as others? The heart, for instance?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Mrs. Robinson, I'm afraid the decision no longer rests in your hands or the computer's.
Prof. John Robinson: What do you mean?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Your son...
Maureen Robinson: What about him?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, there's no cause for alarm. Not yet at any rate.
Will Robinson: [Downstairs, addressing Robot] Stop it! Stop it! I order you to stop!
The Robot: [pauses] Negative.
[Robot smashes arm against console, causing damage and wild gyration of ship, then takes elevator upstairs]
The Robot: Destroy!
[Begins slowly lumbering forward]
The Robot: Destroy!
Dr. Zachary Smith: No, no! Abort! Can you hear me? Abort! Abort! Abort!
[Robot blasts Dr. Smith with bolts of electricity, hurling him to the floor]

Will Robinson: Am I okay, doctor? Did I pass?
Dr. Zachary Smith: You'll do.

Will Robinson: My dad said you were left aboard when you came down to adjust the helium/nitrogen intake.
Dr. Zachary Smith: That's right.
Will Robinson: But the helium/nitrogen intake valve's on the UPPER level.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh? Well... Who said anything about the intake valve? It was the emergency supply I was concerned about.

Will Robinson: [to Dr. Smith] Well, Maj. West said that when he went to cadet school an excuse like yours wouldn't have gotten him out of Sunday chapel.


"Lost in Space: Invaders from the Fifth Dimension (#1.8)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Come along, my boy. We're almost there.
Will Robinson: How much further is it?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well, now... not quite as close as your shadow nor quite as far as Texas but somewhere between.

[Will is about to put his hands into some clear liquid trickling down a rock face when Dr. Smith hauls him back abruptly]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Don't touch that!
Will Robinson: Wha...!
Dr. Zachary Smith: That stuff would have taken the hide off you quicker than a peach in boiling oil.
Will Robinson: But I've seen Mom use the same kind of water to cook in.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Dear boy, it may look the same but chemically it's no closer to water than chalk is to cheese.
Will Robinson: You know what I think? I think you're just fooling me. I don't think there's any danger to me OR to my folks. I think you just took me away from them to get even or to force 'em to take you back - or I don't KNOW what!
[Dr. Smith walks away smugly then sits and looks at Will, grinning]
Dr. Zachary Smith: All right. If you think I'm a humbug, go right ahead and put your hand in the water. Go on. You shouldn't be afraid to put your hand in what seems to be clear, HARMLESS drinking water. Go on.
[Will makes several attempts to touch the running fluid but doubt restrains him]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well?

Alien: The truth is we need more than the power of your brain. We have been traveling since long before the earliest moments of your planet's history. Our mental powers have grown... weary. We do not intend to harm you, but we need your youth, your... freshness, your... curiosity.
Will Robinson: But I'm not curious OR fresh, and I just look young, honest!

Alien: [with Will on the aliens' pedestal, now a component of their guidance system] You are free of discomfort?
Will Robinson: I guess so.
Alien: Yet, in low spirits, disconsolate, a prey to meloncholy?
Will Robinson: Huh?
Luminary: You lament your forebarers.
Will Robinson: My what?
Luminary: Father, mother, you miss them.
Will Robinson: Whadda YOU think?
Alien: Well, we can, if you wish, erase your memory circuits, then you will cease to feel the pain of separation.
Will Robinson: No! I WANNA remember them.
Alien: Very well. We shall depart as soon as your cerebral circuits have been fully tested.


"Lost in Space: The Space Trader (#1.23)" (1966)
Will Robinson: There are more important things in life than just food.
Dr. Zachary Smith: The ignorance of that remark is excusable only because of your extreme youth. Good food is one of the important joys of living.

Will Robinson: If it hadn't been for food, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Will Robinson: [having assisted Dr. Smith getting away from the Trader's guard dogs] We've gotta get back to the Jupiter 2.
Dr. Zachary Smith: We'll never make it. Those beasts will tear us apart when they catch us.
Will Robinson: Would you rather stay here and let the Trader take you away?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ugh! Oh! Come along. What're you waiting for?


"Lost in Space: The Raft (#1.12)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: But this is home.
Will Robinson: Suppose it's not. Suppose it's just another unknown planet like the one my parents are on. That means you and I are the only ones here and'll have to go on living here forever, maybe. I'll probably live a bit longer than you 'cause I'm not as old as you are.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Bully for you.

Dr. Zachary Smith: I'm interested only in what is good for Zachary Smith.
Will Robinson: You're telling me?

Will Robinson: What'll probably happen now is, when Don lifts off and heads back to Earth, he'll probably take you with him.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You really think he will?
Will Robinson: As his prisoner.


"Lost in Space: Island in the Sky (#1.3)" (1965)
Will Robinson: [imitating Dr. Smith's voice] Step forward, my mechanical friend.

Will Robinson: Nice work!
The Robot: That does not compute.

Maj. Don West: [Bring out the Alien Gloop]
Will Robinson: For Pete's sake, what's that?
Maj. Don West: This is what we picked up on the scanner. I'm sorry, Maureen.
Penny Robinson: Oh, he's darling. May I have him?
Maureen Robinson: No, you may not.
Maj. Don West: Come on. Come on, fellow. Beat it.
[the Gloop walks away]
Maureen Robinson: Penny, you may have it if you wish.
Penny Robinson: No, Mom. I don't want him. Really, I don't.
Maureen Robinson: Get it for her, will you, Don? It's all right dear. You may have it.
Maj. Don West: [Picking up the Alien Gloop] Come on, Charlie. Looks like you found yourself a home.
Penny Robinson: [Holding the Alien Gloop] I'm gonna call you Debbie.
Maj. Don West: Come on, kids. Let's go. Come on.


"Lost in Space: My Friend, Mr. Nobody (#1.7)" (1965)
Maj. Don West: John, the laser guns. It's our only hope.
Prof. John Robinson: We can't! If we let it get that close to the ship, we'll be blown apart.
Will Robinson: The robot, dad. He has laser circuits.
Prof. John Robinson: You hear that, Smith?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Maximum firing level, circular range. Fire all directions on command.
The Robot: Circuits armed and ready.
Judy Robinson: Hurry up! It's getting closer!
Maj. Don West: I just hope he can break that force apart.
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Get him moving!
Dr. Zachary Smith: March, my metallic hero. March!
[Robot begins moving toward cosmic creature]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Tell me when, sir. Tell me when.
Prof. John Robinson: Not yet. Wait until he's close to its center.
[Robot continues his advance]
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Start firing and continue his marching.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Speaking on two way radio] Fire! March! Fire!
[Robot unleashes devastating array of energy bolts on cosmic creature, but with no apparent effect]

Prof. John Robinson: What're you doing? Making yourself a necklace?
Will Robinson: No. Maybe something for Penny. Girls get so gloopy sometimes. Can you imagine bawling because you imagine your imaginary friend is mad or scared or something? Only trouble is, some of these rocks are hard as diamonds.

The Robot: [with a raging storm fast approaching] Environmental analysis report...
Will Robinson: But, say it! Say it, will you? I mean, won't you please give us your analysis, my learned old friend?
The Robot: Affirmative. Negative. Release of pure cosmic force with anti-matter core. It has anger. It will destroy us!
Will Robinson: That's stupid. Forces and things don't get angry.
The Robot: It has anger. It will destroy us!


"Lost in Space: Blast Off Into Space (#2.1)" (1966)
Will Robinson: [appraising Nerim's cosmonium] It looks like you've got little bits of sun there, Mr. Nerim.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Don't be ridiculous, Will. What possible use could there be for "little bits of sun?"
Nerim: Well, the boy's smarter than YOU are, Zack boy. "Bits of sun" is just about what this is - quintescence of the living force that thaws the ice and melts the snow and puts living breath in everything that grows. That's a sight more precious than diamonds, ain't it, Zach boy?

Will Robinson: [to John] And don't worry about Dr. Smith. I'll take care of HIM.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [witheringly] What a comfort you are in my hour of need.

Dr. Zachary Smith: You, uh... you will bear me out, won't you, Will, when I tell them that I meant no harm? It was just, uh... It was just a vagrant impulse.
Will Robinson: [irritated] You have to explain that yourself. I don't know what a vagrant impulse means.


"Lost in Space: Welcome Stranger (#1.6)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [hanging onto Will] Don't be afraid, Will. Just, uh... keep calm.
Will Robinson: I am.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You see, these alien creatures may be very terrifying. You mustn't panic, you know. And don't tremble.
Will Robinson: I'm not, YOU are.

Will Robinson: Bet you were surprised to see us.
Jimmy Hapgood: Oh, I'm not too surprised to find people, son.
Will Robinson: What ARE you surprised at?
Jimmy Hapgood: Well, I'll tell ya: Finding things that you know can't exist but do. Happenin's that'd put your heart up in your mouth and your blood down your toes. Livin' things that breath in fire and swim in ice.


"Lost in Space: Ghost in Space (#1.19)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [wondering how to placate the scary form standing before them] This garlic will probably do the trick.
Will Robinson: [holding his nose] What do you want me to do with it?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Wave it in front of him and repeat after me: Oh, ye herb of evil odor...
Will Robinson: Oh, ye herb of evil odor...
Dr. Zachary Smith: ...Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and render them harmless.
Will Robinson: ...Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and...
Dr. Zachary Smith: Well? Go on! Go on!
Will Robinson: I don't think that's a spirit at all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: What?
Will Robinson: I think it's a dead tree.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [as Will approaches the tree] Don't get too close.
Will Robinson: I'm right. It IS a tree.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [angrily to the tree] Impostor!

Dr. Zachary Smith: From now on I shall devote the rest of my life to the service of my fellow man with no thought of self. That brave little boy shall not have died in vain. A new Zachary Smith shall burst upon the world with a...
Dr. Zachary Smith: [turns and sees Will] NAHHH! On, no! No, not so soon! You can't materialize until I've raised you, and I don't even have my Ouija board.
Will Robinson: But, Dr. Smith...
Dr. Zachary Smith: Haunt me not, oh spirit! I have already repented, I swear to you!
Will Robinson: I'm not a spirit, Dr. Smith. I'm just me.


"Lost in Space: There Were Giants in the Earth (#1.4)" (1965)
Will Robinson: Can you lend me a hand for a few minutes?
Dr. Zachary Smith: My dear boy, I would be doing you a disservice if I offered assistance. Little set-backs are good for the young. They build character.

Will Robinson: When Dad calls me William in THAT tone of voice, it's no use arguing.


"Lost in Space: The Hungry Sea (#1.5)" (1965)
Will Robinson: Where's Dad?
Maj. Don West: He's been working most of the night on that tin monster. Hey, uh, you're pretty fond of that robot, aren't you?
[Will nods]

Maj. Don West: I hope you're not gonna pay attention to anything from that robot.
Prof. John Robinson: We'd better. This is orbital data on this planet.
Maj. Don West: [laughs derisively] Who's data? Smith's!
Prof. John Robinson: It explains everything - the terrible cold and sudden rise in temperature. Here, look.
Prof. John Robinson: [sticks two pegs in the sand then draws around them] Here's this planet. This is its sun. Now the orbit of this planet is nothing like the Earth's orbit. It's a flat ellipse, and the sun isn't in the center. It's over here on this leg.
Will Robinson: Then we must have been at this end, away from the sun. That means we're heading in back in close to it now, is that what Dr. Smith tried to warn us about?
Prof. John Robinson: That's right, Will. In a matter of hours we're gonna be in danger of roasting alive. And there's no time to get back to the ship. We're gonna have to build a shelter right here!
Maj. Don West: Do you mean to say you're going to pay ANY attention to what Smith says after all he's done?
Prof. John Robinson: Who cares WHAT he's done? These are facts!
Maj. Don West: Are they? The man's a pathological liar. Now, what makes you think he's suddenly reformed? You think he'd lift a finger to save our lives? Now, we were headed south. I say we keep going that way.
Prof. John Robinson: And you're in no position to give orders.
Maj. Don West: Oh, and you are? It's too bad there isn't judgement to go along with that self-confidence.
Prof. John Robinson: Now that's enough out of you. Whether you like it or not I'm gonna try to save your life along with the others. We get that shelter rigged NOW!
[Don goes]
Will Robinson: Boy, Dad, you really read HIM out.


"Lost in Space: The Oasis (#1.9)" (1965)
Will Robinson: Gosh, it's not so bad being big. Think of all the marvelous things you'll be able to do. Like, gosh, you'll be able to get bird's eggs without even climbing.

Will Robinson: [excited that the water conversion unit is working again] We should get a pint of water apiece from it every day.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [not enthused] A pint. I'll use it for eyewash - for one eye.


"Lost in Space: The Space Creature (#3.10)" (1967)
Will Robinson: Stay where you are. I know who you are now.
Dr. Zachary Smith: You do? I...don't. You're sure you do?
Will Robinson: I'm certain and I'm not afraid of you.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Not afraid of your own id?
Will Robinson: My what?
Dr. Zachary Smith: ID!! I...D ID!!
Will Robinson: You can't scare me with your big words.


"Lost in Space: The Galaxy Gift (#2.30)" (1967)
Penny Robinson: [On her knees] Oh, please, sir. Do not throw us out into the raging storm.
The Robot: Because, baby it's cold out there.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ohh! That does it. I resign. How can we put on a serious play when this metallic ham will not follow the script?
Will Robinson: This play doesn't need a director. It needs a referee. Now, when you're all ready to take this seriously, call me!
The Robot: Do not leave, Will Robinson. We need you.
Dr. Zachary Smith: We don't need the writer or the director. All we need is the star - me. Penny, let's try it from my entrance. I will knock, and you will answer.
The Robot: What was my line again?
Dr. Zachary Smith: "Just on moment!"
The Robot: Oh, yes, now I remember.
Penny Robinson: Waiting for the knock at the door, Dr. Smith.


"Lost in Space: Treasure of the Lost Planet (#2.23)" (1967)
Will Robinson: Cap'n Tucker!
Alonzo P. Tucker: There's no use, nipper. I tried to keep ya from comin' out here. But now you're out here, one way or the other, you have to stay.
Will Robinson: [Softly] With us - You mean you're with them?
Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, one way or t'other, we're all together. It's me crew, nipper - Deek, Smeek... and Isruland.-
[Isruland Grunts]
Will Robinson: All I can say, Cap'n, is I'm very disappointed in you.


"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 2 (#1.17)" (1966)
Will Robinson: The forcefield is still on.
Penny Robinson: That only stops people coming in, not going out.


"Lost in Space: Follow the Leader (#1.29)" (1966)
Will Robinson: If you can help dad, I'm all for it.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very well, I shall undertake to start working on my patient at the earliest opportunity.
The Robot: May I speak?
Dr. Zachary Smith: You have my permission.
The Robot: In my opinion, it is not Professor Robinson who needs psychiatric treatment. It is his doctor.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Just you wait, you deplorable dummy.


"Lost in Space: Target: Earth (#3.16)" (1968)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Talking about his alien double] That bogus me isn't me at all. He's thoroughly incompetent.
Will Robinson: That's you all over, Dr. Smith.