Maj. Don West
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Quotes for
Maj. Don West (Character)
from "Lost in Space" (1965)

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Lost in Space (1998)
Judy Robinson: Who was it that said, "Those who can't think, fight"? I think it was me.
[walks away]
Major West: [to Prof. Robinson] That's one cold fish I'd like to thaw.
[Judy returns]
Major West: [to Prof. Robinson]
Judy Robinson: Oh, I won't be home for dinner tonight, *Dad*.
[Judy walks away. West stares at John, who also walks away]
Major West: It's gonna be a *long* flight.

Major West: You know, I'm thinking this is your "kiss for luck" situation.
Judy Robinson: Thinking. Not your strong point, is it?

Major West: 8 years of flight training. Navigational holographics online. 50 combat missions. Course confirmed for slingshot exit of the solar system. Just so I could take the family camper on an interstellar picnic.

Major West: OK, last one to kill a bad guy buys the beer.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Like the drip, drip, drip of blood...
Major West: You really need to shut up.

[Launching the Jupiter-1]
Major West: And the monkey flips the switch.

Major West: What about you, Doc? Is there some lucky little nerd you left behind?
Judy Robinson: I've spent the last three years training for this mission. I'm trying to save the planet. I haven't had time for fun.
Major West: If there's no time for fun, Doc, then what are we saving the planet for?

[the Robinson family shares a tender moment of love as they are reunited]
Major West: You know, the planet IS breaking up around us.

[Major West arms the Proteus' reactor to explode, to kill the Space Spiders]
John Robinson: What are you doing?
Major West: You never leave an enemy stronghold intact.
John Robinson: Major, stop.
Major West: One of your father's first rules of engagement.
John Robinson: That's a direct order.
Major West: I hate spiders.

[the Jupiter II is hurtling towards the Sun]
John Robinson: We're caught in the sun's gravitational pull. We're headed straight for it.
Major West: Oh, really? Is that what the big round ball is?

Major West: It's working.
John Robinson: What?
Major West: If we can't go around the Sun, then we go straight through it, using your hyperdrive.
John Robinson: If we engage the hyperdrive without a gate, we could be thrown anywhere in the galaxy.
Major West: Anywhere but here.

Major West: I'm going to try to break us out of the atmosphere.
John Robinson: No, we don't have enough core material for that.
Major West: Well, maybe if we catch one of the thermal...
John Robinson: No, it won't work. I *know*. We have to go... down. Through the planet as she's breaking up. We can use the planet's gravity...
Major West: What?
John Robinson: To throw us ut the other side and back into space!
Major West: That's insane!
John Robinson: I don't have time to argue.

Major West: If this is all a dream, why can't there be more girls?

Major West: [just before the spaceship explodes] I'm sorry.

[First night on an unknown unfriendly looking planet they crashed on]
Maureen Robinson: Good night, John.
John Robinson: Good night, Maureen.
Will Robinson: Good night, Judy.
Penny Robinson: Good night, Will.
Judy Robinson: Good night, Penny.
[pause]
Major West: You guys have got to be kidding.

Major West: [West assembles his gun as the spiders are attacking] A million bucks worth of weaponry, and I'd trade it all back for a lousy can of Raid.


"Lost in Space: The Challenge (#1.22)" (1966)
Quano: I do not care who you are. You are enemies.
Maj. Don West: No, we're not, unless you insist on it.

Dr. Zachary Smith: What, may I ask, are you staring at?
Quano: I was wondering if you are a typical specimen of the Earth people.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Typical? I? Certainly not! I have a great deal more intelligence.
Quano: Then you Earthlings, indeed, are a sorry lot - weak and full of vanity.
Maj. Don West: Now, THERE'S the best description of Smith I've EVER heard.

Prof. John Robinson: Is your father with you?
Quano: No. He is The Ruler. He is too busy.
Maj. Don West: What does that mean, Quano, "He's the ruler?"
Quano: In your world there are presidents, kings and dictators. In mine there is only one - The Ruler.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Are you telling us that... your father is the... the LEADER of your planet?
Quano: My command will be law.
Maj. Don West: Well, what do you know? We're entertaining royalty.

The Ruler: This does not concern you, woman. It is a matter for men to decide.
Maureen Robinson: Well, I don't know about YOUR world, but in ours women are treated as the equals of men.
The Ruler: [laughing heartily] Ah, ha-ha-ho-ho! What a foolish arrangement!
Maureen Robinson: Well, I don't see anything FOOLISH about it.
The Ruler: Women the equal of men? In what way? Are they stronger than men? Do they have more intelligence? Do they make laws or fight wars?
The Ruler: [to John] Ah-ha. This will be an excellent story for me to tell when I return home.
Maj. Don West: [to Maureen] I can hear the boys in the club laughing already.

Maj. Don West: You've got an angle here, Smith? What is it?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Angle? What angle?
Maj. Don West: You're hiding something. Let's have it.

Penny Robinson: Can you imagine Quano believing that girls are worthless?
Maj. Don West: Well, Penny, I have a strong feeling he'll change his opinion when he grows up.
Quano: [who's come upon them unnoticed] I like them now, but it is not manly to pay too much attention to them.

Quano: I bring you greetings from my father. As his spokesman I also have a message for you: My father wishes to inform you that he has prepared an area suitable for the challenge. The ground is good and firm and offers good footing. If acceptable, the contest will begin at the hour of ten tomorrow. Failure of your son or his substitute to appear will be considered an act of cowardice and a penalty enacted against you.
Maureen Robinson: What sort of a penalty?
Quano: That will be for my father to decide.
Maureen Robinson: John, there was nothing said about a penalty before.
Maj. Don West: And what does he mean by "substitute?"
Quano: These are the rules which govern the challenge.
Prof. John Robinson: You tell your father we'll be there.

Dr. Zachary Smith: [grinning overly much] Losing one contest doesn't mean anything.
Maj. Don West: You don't have to sound so pleased about it, Smith.


"Lost in Space: Ghost in Space (#1.19)" (1966)
Maureen Robinson: You know, when I was a little girl, we found a Ouija board up in my grandmother's attic. Trouble was, nobody know how... what to do with it, even my grandmother. I'm afraid it's quite obsolete in the world of computers.
Maj. Don West: Uh, so's Dr. Smith, but then, again, I'm not sure what world he really belongs in.

The Robot: Warning! Warning!
Prof. John Robinson: I want an immediate reading on the object.
The Robot: Composition of object: does not compute. Genetic code: indecipherable.
Prof. John Robinson: Can you locate its position?
The Robot: Due north by horizontal bearing. Distance by velocity of light:...
Maj. Don West: Velocity of light?
The Robot: ...Sixty-five meters.

Maj. Don West: You put the blasting pack in the hole marked with the arrow?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, indeed I did.
Maj. Don West: Uh-huh. And you put the metal capping back on the hole before you left.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Naturally. That's S.O.P. for all blasting operations.
Maj. Don West: [angry] There IS no arrow, and no metal capping. Now, what did you do with the explosives! I want the truth!

Maj. Don West: I wanna tell you one thing, Smith: I promise you that bog may be off-limits to everyone else, but from now on you're going to be swimming in it every night looking for your three-toed uncle!

Dr. Zachary Smith: Uncle Thaddeus, you stop that this minute!
Dr. Zachary Smith: [seeing Don aim his laser rifle] What are you doing to him?
Maj. Don West: What's he doing to US?
[Smith pulls Don's laser rifle away]
Maj. Don West: What'd you do that for?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I don't want you to hurt Uncle Thaddeus.
Maj. Don West: It's not your Uncle Thaddeus, you idiot! It's something you started by ditching that explosive in the...
[cut off by an invisible punch, knocking Don backwards]

[the monster is caught but still invisible]
Maj. Don West: [shouting] For once and for all, Smith, why don't you get it through your thick head that what's in there is NOT your Uncle Thaddeus!
Dr. Zachary Smith: [outraged] Yes, I know, Major! It's mass and energy and similar figments of your nuclear imagination - and if you choose to believe that humbug, you go right ahead and do it! Oh, the ignorance of science!


"Lost in Space: The Hungry Sea (#1.5)" (1965)
Maj. Don West: You know, I've got a feeling this stuff's got a message for us if we could only read it.
Judy Robinson: What is it?
Maj. Don West: Well, it's just a piece of vegetation.
Prof. John Robinson: We found lots of this frozen solid in the ground.
Maureen Robinson: Well, it looks as though it's been charred.
Prof. John Robinson: It has.
Maureen Robinson: Burned and then frozen?
Prof. John Robinson: Mm-hm.
Maureen Robinson: Well, that doesn't make sense, does it?
Prof. John Robinson: Darling, very little on this planet makes sense, by Earth standard.

Will Robinson: Where's Dad?
Maj. Don West: He's been working most of the night on that tin monster. Hey, uh, you're pretty fond of that robot, aren't you?
[Will nods]

Maj. Don West: I hope you're not gonna pay attention to anything from that robot.
Prof. John Robinson: We'd better. This is orbital data on this planet.
Maj. Don West: [laughs derisively] Who's data? Smith's!
Prof. John Robinson: It explains everything - the terrible cold and sudden rise in temperature. Here, look.
Prof. John Robinson: [sticks two pegs in the sand then draws around them] Here's this planet. This is its sun. Now the orbit of this planet is nothing like the Earth's orbit. It's a flat ellipse, and the sun isn't in the center. It's over here on this leg.
Will Robinson: Then we must have been at this end, away from the sun. That means we're heading in back in close to it now, is that what Dr. Smith tried to warn us about?
Prof. John Robinson: That's right, Will. In a matter of hours we're gonna be in danger of roasting alive. And there's no time to get back to the ship. We're gonna have to build a shelter right here!
Maj. Don West: Do you mean to say you're going to pay ANY attention to what Smith says after all he's done?
Prof. John Robinson: Who cares WHAT he's done? These are facts!
Maj. Don West: Are they? The man's a pathological liar. Now, what makes you think he's suddenly reformed? You think he'd lift a finger to save our lives? Now, we were headed south. I say we keep going that way.
Prof. John Robinson: And you're in no position to give orders.
Maj. Don West: Oh, and you are? It's too bad there isn't judgement to go along with that self-confidence.
Prof. John Robinson: Now that's enough out of you. Whether you like it or not I'm gonna try to save your life along with the others. We get that shelter rigged NOW!
[Don goes]
Will Robinson: Boy, Dad, you really read HIM out.

Maj. Don West: [explaining why he's dismantling the robot] That ice we crossed is a full-fledged sea by now. If we're going to sail the chariot across it, I want to make sure EVERYTHING'S battened down, and that includes THIS animated hunk of machinery.

Maj. Don West: [at sea, while tossed about] What's wrong?
Prof. John Robinson: [clicking the controls of the chariot] It won't respond.
Maj. Don West: We're not getting any power. Must be a loose connection in the solar batteries. I'll go up and see if I can fix 'em.
Judy Robinson: Now?
Prof. John Robinson: We can't risk it.
Maj. Don West: Have to. Without power we'll capsize.
Prof. John Robinson: It's too late. We're right in the middle of it.
Maj. Don West: John, we can't wait.
Maureen Robinson: John, you know he's right.


"Lost in Space: Attack of the Monster Plants (#1.14)" (1965)
Will Robinson: [having just rescued John and Don from quicksand] I'd have been here even quicker if Dr. Smith had told me you were in trouble.
Maj. Don West: Now he's in trouble.

Dr. Zachary Smith: You were going to leave me behind. You are going to leave me, aren't you?
Maj. Don West: Well, that decision is up to Prof. Robinson, but if he asks for my opinion, I'm voting to leave you here.

Maj. Don West: [seeing Smith spying on them] Judy, uh, I didn't want to scare Will but actually our fuel-to-weight ratio's going to be very critical.
Judy Robinson: What does that mean?
Maj. Don West: Well, it means that, uh, Smith will probably have to be left behind.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [to himself, observing from behind a rock] We shall see.
Judy Robinson: I thought Daddy said he was taking Dr. Smith.
Maj. Don West: [in an undertone] Shhhhh. I'm just teasing. Smith's up there behind the rock, listening.
Judy Robinson: I think that's nasty of you.
Maj. Don West: He deserved it.

Prof. John Robinson: He tricked you, Will. He gave you this fake and kept the real deutronium.
Will Robinson: But why?
Maj. Don West: Because he knows we can't go back to Earth unless we have enough deutronium, and he's trying to blackmail us into taking him, but what he doesn't know, Will, is that while you were gone we found our last little pocket in that vein and already have enough deutronium without his canister.

Maj. Don West: You know, it's really a shame, Dr. Smith, but, uh, things don't look too good for you at all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: The condition you find most cheering.
Maj. Don West: [enjoying this greatly] Not at all. As a matter of fact, when I compute the fuel-to-weight ratio, which we already know is going to be very critical, I'll do my best to include us all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [bitterly] I'm deeply touched.
Penny Robinson: Does that mean I can take the bloop?
Dr. Zachary Smith: How can you even think of taking that beast when I may have to remain?
Will Robinson: I think THE BLOOP should go!
Penny Robinson: So do I!
Maj. Don West: Well, we don't have a capsule for the bloop so, uh, that's out of the question.
Will Robinson: I'll BUILD her a capsule!
Maj. Don West: [heartily shaking hands with Will] That's a deal! You build a capsule for the bloop and she goes!
Maj. Don West: [sadly to Smith] Of course, that cuts the available weight still further. Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Smith, but things don't look very good for you at all.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Bloop, indeed!


"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 1 (#1.16)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: Tell us about the cage.
The Robot: Special thermo-genetic unit adjusts to the biological need of each imprisoned animal.
Maj. Don West: What's the range of temperature?
The Robot: From 300° above zero to 150° below zero.
Prof. John Robinson: What sort of animals live at those temperatures?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I hope we never have the misfortune to find out.

Maj. Don West: How do you know who we are?
The Keeper: You are not alone in space. All the planets have eyes.

The Keeper: What a handsome pair of specimens you are.
Maj. Don West: I wish you wouldn't refer to us as animals. We're intelligent beings.
The Keeper: You're entitled to your opinion, of course.

Prof. John Robinson: [about to lock Smith in his cabin for the night] Hey, Dr. Smith, I think you'd better get inside. Don, you take the first watch.
Maj. Don West: All right.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Very well, I'll go, but I know I shan't sleep a wink. I'll need something to read.
Prof. John Robinson: [enthusiastically] Well, we'll get you a book.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I'm thirsty.
Prof. John Robinson: And a glass of water.
Dr. Zachary Smith: A little music might help to pass the time.
Prof. John Robinson: Oh. Well, you can have one of Penny's tapes.
Dr. Zachary Smith: And I'd like the robot to keep me company.
Prof. John Robinson: [shoving Smith in his cabin] Get inside!
Dr. Zachary Smith: [affronted] Really!

The Keeper: In all the galaxy no animals have given me as much trouble as yourselves. Is this thing you call freedom so precious?
Prof. John Robinson: In our world since the beginning of time, men and women have fought and died for it.
The Keeper: Foolish, foolish creatures.
Maj. Don West: Maybe so, but it's what sets us apart from all the others.
The Keeper: You are not worth further efforts on my part.


"Lost in Space: Wish Upon a Star (#1.11)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: If I had the intelligence of a goose, I'd still be a genius compared to you!
Maj. Don West: Yeah, well, all that brainpower you're always talking about - it must be well-hidden because nobody ever notices it except yourself!

Maj. Don West: I don't know how the others feel, Smith, but I'm fed up to the teeth with you! Every time something goes wrong around here, you're always at the bottom of it. You're nothing but a troublemaker and the sooner we get rid of you the better off we'll all be.

Maj. Don West: [harshly] What do YOU want?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now, is that a way to greet Santa Claus, particularly when he has gifts for you all?

Maj. Don West: When things go bad for no logical reason, I've always got an answer - Smith!


"Lost in Space: The Sky Is Falling (#1.10)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: My primary concern has always been for the welfare and survival of all.
Maj. Don West: You're a self-centered, selfish individual whose primary concern is only one thing - himself.

[Maurine's cake vanishes before everyone's eyes]
Dr. Zachary Smith: You see? I told you we were dealing with a cruel adversary.
Prof. John Robinson: "Cruel," Dr. Smith? We have no proof of that.
Maj. Don West: They probably just wanted the cake for a specimen.
Dr. Zachary Smith: What happens where they decide they need a HUMAN for a specimen?

Dr. Zachary Smith: [lazing out for a suntan while Will and Don repair the chariot] You see, Will, even as a boy your age I was determined to be a scientist. Believe me, there is no worthier ambition. How gratifying it is to work for the betterment of Mankind, to strive for the unobtainable.
Maj. Don West: How about doing a little striving on this engine?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I am a scientist, not a menial mechanic.
Maj. Don West: You're a 4-star goldbrick, Smith.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but YOUR words can never harm me.
Maj. Don West: [smacking a wrench against his thigh as he approaches Smith] Maybe I can get faster results THIS way.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [quickly getting up] Uh, there is no need for belligerence. You have my cooperation.


"Lost in Space: The Space Croppers (#1.25)" (1966)
Maj. Don West: Well, where is this fascinating family located, Smith. I think we'd all like to meet 'em.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, you will, you will. They need a little more time to settle in. They're not quite ready to receive visitors.
Prof. John Robinson: Oh, is THAT what they said?
Will Robinson: Yeah, with a shotgun.

[Loud drumming and chanting attracts the Robinsons to their new neighbors midnight planting]
Effra: You shouldn't outta come. Earthly folks got no business here!
Maureen Robinson: We heard the chanting and we thought you wouldn't mind if we dropped in.
Sybilla: [sternly] We wouldn't mind if you DROPPED OUT the same way you dropped in.
Dr. Zachary Smith: May I compliment you on your singing, madam? Glorious! Glorious!
Sybilla: [obviously affected by Smith's remark, but nonetheless... to the Robinsons] What do you want?
Prof. John Robinson: We're interested in your planting methods, curious about your crop.
Sybilla: Your curiosity has no business here.
Effra: You'll find out soon enough, I reckon.
Maj. Don West: What does that mean?
Effra: Uh, how bad do you wanna know?
Sybilla: [low and threatening] I'll burn your tongue out. What we do - on our land - is exclusively OUR affair.
Prof. John Robinson: Agreed, but...
Sybilla: No "buts." "Buts" invariably lead to explanations, which I do not choose to give. Now we'll have no more talk, and no more VISITING.

Dr. Zachary Smith: Exciting news of a romantic nature always attracts listeners. My dear friends, you see before you the happiest man in the world: Sybila has promised to be my wife.
Maj. Don West: Not the witch?
Dr. Zachary Smith: I shall treat that slur with the contempt it deserves.


"Lost in Space: The Magic Mirror (#1.21)" (1966)
Maj. Don West: Uh, what're you looking for?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Uh... my, uh... my heating pad. I loaned it to Mrs. Robinson the other day. She seems to have mislaid it.
Maj. Don West: Well, that's all right because I got something that'll fix your back up just great.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Oh, good.
Maj. Don West: Yeah, it's an old-fashioned restorative instrument.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Ah, yes.
Maj. Don West: You will just love this. This is exactly what you need. A shovel.

Maj. Don West: Last night, Dr. Smith, we almost lost our lives because of you, so you're gonna make up for it.

Maj. Don West: Judy? What's the matter with Penny?
Judy Robinson: She's not crying, is she?
Maj. Don West: No, she's just lost to the world. I asked her what time it was and she said "Maybe I left it in the control room."


"Lost in Space: Invaders from the Fifth Dimension (#1.8)" (1965)
Prof. John Robinson: Get down!
Maj. Don West: So that's the monster.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Now that doesn't look very monstrous, does it?
Maj. Don West: Neither do you... Do you suppose we could blast them out?
[Alien spacecraft begins powering up for departure]
The Robot: The craft is surrounded by a force field in the fifth dimension, which is... mathematically... impossible.
Prof. John Robinson: I guess it takes a human being to accept the impossible.
Maureen Robinson: Stop them! Can't you stop them?
The Robot: Negative.
Prof. John Robinson: [Holds Maureen back] Maureen!
Maureen Robinson: Will!
Prof. John Robinson: I order you to try!
The Robot: They will disable me.
Prof. John Robinson: [Sternly] I order you to try and stop them!
[Places hand on laser pistol for emphasis]
Prof. John Robinson: [Robot slowly advances and fires a volley of energy projectiles, which bounce off the spacecraft. The last bolt ricochets back on the Robot, disabling him]
Prof. John Robinson: Again! I order you to try!
Dr. Zachary Smith: It's no use. It's just like throwing good money after bad, if you don't mind the comparison.
Prof. John Robinson: I DO mind.

Maureen Robinson: [checking the scanner] Well, that's odd. I've never seen a blip shaped like THAT on the screen before, have you?
Judy Robinson: No. What do you suppose it could be?
Maureen Robinson: Oh, it's probably a malfunction in the scanner. Don?
Maj. Don West: [digging near the garden] Yeah?
Maureen Robinson: Can you come here a minute?
Maj. Don West: Just a second.
Maureen Robinson: No, right now!
Maj. Don West: What is it?
Maureen Robinson: W-well, look at this scanner.
Maj. Don West: What's wrong with it?
Maureen Robinson: Well, I think it's acting up again.
Maj. Don West: Oh, no. I just checked it out this morning.
Maj. Don West: [coming to their side] What's wrong with it?
Judy Robinson: It's gone, just now!
Maj. Don West: What's gone?
Judy Robinson: The strange spot.
Maj. Don West: Uh... you sure you haven't been seeing spots in front of your eyes?
Maureen Robinson: No. No, really, it was right... right there. We both saw it. Well, for a minute, anyway.
Maj. Don West: Well, there's nothing there now and, besides, if it were a blip it couldn't just disappear. It would have to fly off somewhere, right?
[Don goes]
Maureen Robinson: [to Judy] Well, I-I guess maybe our eyes WERE playing tricks on us.

Prof. John Robinson: Don, uh, is the extra rocket-belt refueled?
Maj. Don West: Uh, no, I didn't check it out.
Prof. John Robinson: Oh, that's great! Why not?
Maj. Don West: Now, wait a minute, Professor! I don't mind taking orders, but I draw the line at being bossed around like some kind of a field hand.


"Lost in Space: Wild Adventure (#2.2)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: You've broken your solid word of honor, Professor. I warn you, I will not go to Alpha Centauri!
Maj. Don West: No one says you have to, Smith. Anytime you want, I'll stop the Jupiter 2 and let you off.
Dr. Zachary Smith: BAH!

Maj. Don West: John, the fuel gauge in this barge reads down a quarter, but there's no indication that any other ship docked here.
Prof. John Robinson: Well it's not possible!
Maj. Don West: Well, SOMETHING'S been at this fuel supply.
Will Robinson: Maybe it was a leak.
Prof. John Robinson: If it was, the fuel would still be moving past the barges.

Maj. Don West: The refueling is completed, and I'm on my way ba... Who are you? Who's there?


"Lost in Space: My Friend, Mr. Nobody (#1.7)" (1965)
Maj. Don West: John, the laser guns. It's our only hope.
Prof. John Robinson: We can't! If we let it get that close to the ship, we'll be blown apart.
Will Robinson: The robot, dad. He has laser circuits.
Prof. John Robinson: You hear that, Smith?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Maximum firing level, circular range. Fire all directions on command.
The Robot: Circuits armed and ready.
Judy Robinson: Hurry up! It's getting closer!
Maj. Don West: I just hope he can break that force apart.
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Get him moving!
Dr. Zachary Smith: March, my metallic hero. March!
[Robot begins moving toward cosmic creature]
Dr. Zachary Smith: Tell me when, sir. Tell me when.
Prof. John Robinson: Not yet. Wait until he's close to its center.
[Robot continues his advance]
Prof. John Robinson: All right. Start firing and continue his marching.
Dr. Zachary Smith: [Speaking on two way radio] Fire! March! Fire!
[Robot unleashes devastating array of energy bolts on cosmic creature, but with no apparent effect]

Dr. Zachary Smith: What's the matter?
Maj. Don West: D'you hear that? It sounded like thunder.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Sky seems clear enough.

[last lines]
Judy Robinson: [while everyone looks in awe at the transformation of Mr. Nobody into a stellar display] Don, what is pure cosmic force? What does it turn into?
Maj. Don West: I don't know. There are a lot of things iI don't know.
Prof. John Robinson: It's like a new Milky Way.
Penny Robinson: Well, caterpillars can turn into butterflies can't they?
Maureen Robinson: Oh John, look, Just look!
Mr. Nobody: Good bye, Pen-nee, good bye, Pen-nee.
Penny Robinson: Good bye, Mr. Nobody.
Mr. Nobody: Good bye, good bye...


"Lost in Space: There Were Giants in the Earth (#1.4)" (1965)
[Don and John drive back to the Jupiter 2 but the trip is rocky]
Maj. Don West: Bad terrain. You better slow down.
Prof. John Robinson: Strange. I never noticed those rough spots before.
[Arial shot: the chariot is rolling over giant footprints]

Maj. Don West: The soil of this planet contains a parasite that requires another life form to reach maturity.
Prof. John Robinson: That's right. That or metamorphosis.

Prof. John Robinson: [checking their weather station] Look at this thing! By the day after tomorrow the temperature will drop 150 below zero.
Maj. Don West: What'll we do?
Prof. John Robinson: We're gonna have to head south but fast.


"Lost in Space: The Reluctant Stowaway (#1.1)" (1965)
Maj. Don West: If you wake up and find me driving, you'll know you're in trouble.

Dr. Zachary Smith: The power pack! Pull out the power pack!
Maureen Robinson: John, look out! Penny, hang on!
Maj. Don West: [Trying to stop Robot from burning through cabin pressure control on wall] He's breaking through!
Dr. Zachary Smith: Pull out the power pack!


"Lost in Space: The Space Trader (#1.23)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [eating pills for dinner] I cannot go on this way. I simply must have some food.
Maj. Don West: Stop your bellyaching, Smith. We're all in the same boat.
Dr. Zachary Smith: This chemical concoction may be sufficient for you and the others, but it hardly whets my appetite.
Maj. Don West: That protein capsule contains MORE than enough nutrition for your needs.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Perhaps for the average man, Major, but I burn up more energy than the average man.
Maj. Don West: Well, then I've got just the cure for you, Smith.
Dr. Zachary Smith: And what is that?
Maj. Don West: Don't talk so much.

Dr. Zachary Smith: At a time like this we see out true friends.
Maj. Don West: Save the soft soap for later, Smith.


"Lost in Space: Island in the Sky (#1.3)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: My dear Dr. Robinson, I can't begin to describe how happy I am at finding you alive.
Maj. Don West: Now I'LL tell one.

Maj. Don West: [Bring out the Alien Gloop]
Will Robinson: For Pete's sake, what's that?
Maj. Don West: This is what we picked up on the scanner. I'm sorry, Maureen.
Penny Robinson: Oh, he's darling. May I have him?
Maureen Robinson: No, you may not.
Maj. Don West: Come on. Come on, fellow. Beat it.
[the Gloop walks away]
Maureen Robinson: Penny, you may have it if you wish.
Penny Robinson: No, Mom. I don't want him. Really, I don't.
Maureen Robinson: Get it for her, will you, Don? It's all right dear. You may have it.
Maj. Don West: [Picking up the Alien Gloop] Come on, Charlie. Looks like you found yourself a home.
Penny Robinson: [Holding the Alien Gloop] I'm gonna call you Debbie.
Maj. Don West: Come on, kids. Let's go. Come on.


"Lost in Space: The Lost Civilization (#1.27)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: Look at that. Something fell there, and pretty hard.
Maj. Don West: Only the robot could have made a mark like that in the ground.
Prof. John Robinson: Now, a fall like that would have broken his circuits. Now he's not here. Somebody had to fix him.
Maj. Don West: Will.
Prof. John Robinson: I'm counting on him.

Major Domo: Centuries ago, my people began the most daring, most magnificent plan ever conceived - no less than the conquest of the entire universe.
Maj. Don West: Picked yourself quite a job.
Major Domo: Yes, it's an impossible job for any one race, no matter HOW advanced their technology, but time and planning solve all problems. Here in our underground world, we have been collecting what we have needed most - manpower. We have stored more than a thousand generations of soldiers, waiting for the day when their vast numbers would be needed.
Prof. John Robinson: And that day is...
Major Domo: Now.


"Lost in Space: Welcome Stranger (#1.6)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [as everyone gazes at the image on the scanner] I hope it's not one of those alien monstrosities.
Maj. Don West: It's no pigeon, that's for sure.

Jimmy Hapgood: Say, if you fellas are still mad at me, just say so and I'll leave.
Prof. John Robinson: We're not angry. Least I'm not.
Jimmy Hapgood: [to Don] You still mad?
Maj. Don West: No. I'm just sorry I didn't hit you any harder.
Jimmy Hapgood: Was a pretty good fight, wasn't it?
Maj. Don West: [grinning] Yeah. That it was.


"Lost in Space: War of the Robots (#1.20)" (1966)
Maj. Don West: Why would you want to destroy the robotoid?
The Robot: I do not like it.
Prof. John Robinson: Hate is not an emotion you possess.
The Robot: I do not LIKE it.
Maj. Don West: The robotoid doesn't represent any danger to you.
The Robot: I repeat, I... do... not... like it!

Maj. Don West: What's 'e matter, Smith? You too light for heavy work or too heavy for light work?


"Lost in Space: The Keeper: Part 2 (#1.17)" (1966)
Prof. John Robinson: I was hoping you'd show up.
The Keeper: Were you?
Prof. John Robinson: If you hadn't come to see us, I'd have come to see you.
The Keeper: You're either a good lier, Prof. Robinson, or you are innocent. I intend to find out which.
Maj. Don West: Now, wait a minute...
The Keeper: Silence! You try my patience. I should destroy all of you now, reduce you to pitiful grains of dust which the winds would blow away across the wasteland of this planet.
Dr. Zachary Smith: I'm sure the young man meant no harm. Uh, let us all try to keep our tempers and act like intelligent beings.
The Keeper: "Intelligent beings" - you flatter yourself. You are less than the insects which I crush beneath my heal as I walk.

The Keeper: All the animals are safely in their cages on my spaceship - all except one. As a reminder of my visit here, I am leaving this creature with you.
Maj. Don West: We've had enough trouble with your monsters. Take 'em away.
The Keeper: No. It is a fitting punishment for the trouble you have caused me.


"Lost in Space: Return from Outer Space (#1.15)" (1965)
Dr. Zachary Smith: You and I will never be friends, Major.
Maj. Don West: That is the first logical assumption you've ever made.


"Lost in Space: The Derelict (#1.2)" (1965)
[the Jupiter 2 comes upon a gigantic alien spacecraft]
Prof. John Robinson: [his curiosity piqued] Let's get around to the other side then.
Maj. Don West: [not keen on the idea] All right, if you insist.
Prof. John Robinson: Well, LOOK at that thing! Where's your scientific curiosity?
Maj. Don West: All in one basket - Alpha Centauri


"Lost in Space: The Sky Pirate (#1.18)" (1966)
Maj. Don West: [examining Tucker's ship] I've never seen a drive like this, uh... What's the principle of it?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, I wouldn't know that. I just push buttons to make 'er go. Well, now, course, I can, now, make simple repairs, but that's about all.
Prof. John Robinson: Well, what, uh... what happens when you push the buttons?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: When I push the buttons? Why, then, she begins a-shackin' and a-quiverin', and I begin a-shakin' and a-quiverin' - inside I mean, like I ate too many green apples - and then all of a sudden she goes ZOOM and the stars go out. They come back on when I get where I'm goin'.
Maj. Don West: A starship.
Prof. John Robinson: Hyper-spacedrive.
Maj. Don West: Faster than light.
Prof. John Robinson: Measures speed in parsecs.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Eh, now you just hold on, buckos. I don't know what's on your mind, but we've got a bargain, remember.
Prof. John Robinson: With this ship we could get back to Earth in seconds.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: It ain't big enough.
Maj. Don West: We could shuttle back and forth. The best brains on Earth could dismantle it, find the secret of its drive. We'd have starships that could reach the further regions of the galaxy.
Prof. John Robinson: The UNIVERSE! HOW 'BOUT IT, TUCKER?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker: Well, now... I'm just gonna have to THINK about that, heh-heh.


"Lost in Space: Follow the Leader (#1.29)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: Let me handle the professor. Possibly you're unaware that I'm completely familiar with the latest techniques in the field of psychiatry.
Maj. Don West: As a doctor or a patient?
Dr. Zachary Smith: Spare me your insulting barbs, Major, or I shall withdraw my offer of help.


"Lost in Space: The Ghost Planet (#2.3)" (1966)
Maj. Don West: That must be their reception committee.
Prof. John Robinson: Looks more like an honor guard at a funeral.


"Lost in Space: A Change of Space (#1.28)" (1966)
Dr. Zachary Smith: [speaking of the alien spaceship] Well, it's of no earthly use to me.
Maureen Robinson: Well, why does everything have to have an "earthly" use, doctor?
Maj. Don West: Don't let him answer that or we'll be standing here hours listening to the miseries of a galactic castaway.
Dr. Zachary Smith: Major, you irk me.