Kit Ramsey
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Quotes for
Kit Ramsey (Character)
from Bowfinger (1999)

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Bowfinger (1999)
Kit: Them people can't speak English good!

[Interviewing Jiff for the movie]
Robert K. Bowfinger: Would you be willing to cut your hair?
Jiff Ramsey: Well, yeah, but it would probably be better if someone else did it. I've had a few... accidents.

Kit: The white man gets all the best catchphrases!

Kit: White boys always get the Oscar. It's a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn't played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That's how you get the nomination. A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That's what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar.

Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #1.
Kit: Happy premise #1: There are no aliens.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #2.
Kit: Happy premise #2: There is no giant foot trying to squash me.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #3.
Kit: Happy premise #3: Even though I feel like I might ignite, I probably won't.

Kit: It's too cerebral! We're trying to make a movie here, not a film!

Jiff Ramsey: Oh, gosh, I'm really hoping to get a career running errands. That'd be a major boost for me.

Kit: Go call Arnold and Sly, and Jackie Chan and Van Damme, and tell them the spearchucker said hello!

Kit's Agent: This is a great script! Look, it's not Shakespeare, but it...
Kit: Hey, what did you just say?
Agent: I said, 'it's not Shakespeare'...
Kit: 'It's not Shake... ', 'It's not Shake... ' (to Freddy) Do you hear what he's doing?
Freddy: I know he's doing something, I just can't put my finger on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah... What's he doing?
Kit: Shakespeare, Freddy, Shakespeare!
Freddy: Shakespeare?
Kit: Shake a spear! Spearchucker! I'm a spearchucker now!

Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: And what is it that we don't do?
Kit: Oh, man!
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: What is it?
Kit: Look, I have to show it to the Laker Girls.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: You cannot show it to the Laker Girls. I know you want to show it to the Laker Girls but you can never show it to the Laker Girls. Keep Mr Weenie in the pants. Always in the pants.

Kit: The letter K appears in this script 1,456 times. That's perfectly divisible by 3.
Freddy: So what? So what you saying?
Kit: What am I saying? KKK appears in this script 486 times!

Kit: [looking around] Hey! Freddy?
Slater: You heard me Kincade, don't act dumb! Where's the plutonium?
Kit: Hey, the plutonium is mine, its been registered for religious purposes!
Slater: [confused] You, you actually have some plutonium?
Robert K. Bowfinger: [listening] He's got *plutonium*?

Robert K. Bowfinger: Do you have any experience in motion pictures?
Jiff Ramsey: Uh, well, yeah, quite a bit, actually, I have quite a bit of experience. I'm an active, uh, renter at Blockbuster, and I, um, attend the filmed cinema, uh, as much as possible, weekly, bi-weekly, inter-week-... intermediately.
Robert K. Bowfinger: Would you be willing to cut your hair?
Jiff Ramsey: [sighs] Oh, yes, but, uh, it's usually better if someone else does it. I've had a few... accidents.

Daisy: [Delivering her lines] Keith! Get in! We have to get to the alien antenna!
Kit: [Finally convinced it's real] Yes, but we must hurry!
Kit: [Turns to his assistant] I am Kieth!

Kit: The sickness is deep.