Henry Andrews
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Quotes for
Henry Andrews (Character)
from "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" (2000)

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"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Henry Andrews: So, we're looking for an obsessive, meticulous, dark assed misanthrope who seeks recognition for his efforts.
[Wendy and Henry both look towards Hodges who is sorting his chips and carrots in three neat piles]
Hodges: [without looking up] When would I find the time? I'm always here.

Henry Andrews: Can I have a chip?
Hodges: [quickly] No.

Hodges: This is exactly why I didn't invite you to join us: you take over everything.
Wendy Simms: I ...
Hodges: [cutting her off] Grissom asked me to gather some techs to review the miniature cases, like a think-tank.
Wendy Simms: Yeah, I know they told me. So... kudos to you.
Hodges: I hand selected them with careful consideration to group dynamics.
Wendy Simms: Well, I can see that. I mean it's you and your backup singers. You're Davy Hodges and the Lemmings.
[with fake enthusiasm]
Wendy Simms: You should take your act out on the road.
Henry Andrews: [off screen] We can hear you.
Wendy Simms: Look, the only reason you don't like me is because I actually stand up to you, which by the way is exactly what you need. I mean, come on, you know I'd be good at all this miniature stuff.
Hodges: That's not the only reason.
Wendy Simms: Really? Okay, what is it?
Hodges: You think you're too cool.
Wendy Simms: Oh my God, what are we, twelve?
Hodges: I don't know, are we?
Wendy Simms: [steps toward him] I don't know, are we?

Wendy Simms: But is it still considered food if it's alive and clucking?
Henry Andrews: Then you haven't been to Pennsylvania.

Henry Andrews: I can't even do it in front of my cat.
[Mandy snorts]

Henry Andrews: [sometime after Wendy uses Hodges phone to call the killer's phone it starts ringing] Did you guys see "Scream"?
Hodges: [giving him a look but attempting to disguise his voice] Hello?... Oh, hi, Catherine. Have I seen Wendy? No, she hasn't been at her desk all day.
Wendy Simms: Gimme.
Hodges: Let me go look... for her.
[Wendy grabs the phone]
Hodges: Oh... Oh wait here she is.
Wendy Simms: Loser.

Greg Sanders: Have any of you guys seen Grissom?
[Henry, Hodges and Wendy turn around and hide the miniature]
Hodges: [they shake their heads no] Some garlic bread? Some wine maybe?
Greg Sanders: Kiss my ass. I'd like to see you crawl around in a dumpster determining the difference between blood and marinara sauce with six mobster goons giving you the stink eye
Henry Andrews: Don't know anything about that, were held up in a lab all day
Greg Sanders: What are you guys doing? You know what forget it, I don't even care. I have to go take a shower, would one of you please call janitorial and have them clean my Denali?
Wendy Simms: Sure
Greg Sanders: Oh and I think the killer might have thrown up in the alley, full panel. Enjoy.

Hodges: You in or you out?
Henry Andrews: Well I don't really know anything about these cases.
Hodges: We'll review.
Henry Andrews: I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.
Hodges: And by work you mean IM-ing your Islandic penpal, who thinks you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.
Henry Andrews: How...
Hodges: I just know.

Henry Andrews: [Wendy walks into door frame]
[whispering]
Henry Andrews: Red dog barks at midnight.
Wendy Simms: What are you guys doing in here?
Hodges: Nothing
[everybody starts to leave the room]
Wendy Simms: [Hodges confronts Wendy] Alright freak boy, your phone has been ringing off the hook, so I finally answered it and Warrick and Nick said they have a ton off trace and they need you to clear the desks.
Hodges: No problem. After you.
Wendy Simms: After you.
Hodges: [walks away]
[Wendy stands at the door looking into the room puzzled]


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Field Mice (#10.18)" (2010)
Henry Andrews: Remember that time you said that thing about your having a higher commitment to the lab and the pursuit of justice?
David Hodges: Yeah, I may have said that more than once.
Henry Andrews: Yeah, you have.

David Hodges: Car trouble?
Henry Andrews: Yeah, no kidding. This ruins my whole lunch break and I had things to do!
David Hodges: You know, Henry, maybe you should stay out of parking garages. Bad things seem to happen to you there.


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Dead in His Tracks (#14.22)" (2014)
David Hodges: I think I discovered the secret about the most beautiful woman in history!
Henry Andrews: Kate Upton?
David Hodges: In history, Henry! I was talking about Cleopatra
Henry Andrews: Oh, fascinating but I am busy


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Appendicitement (#10.9)" (2009)
Greg Sanders: Henry, my friend, you are about to have the best birthday of your life because we are taking you to the one, the only, Harry's. Hog. Hideout.
Henry Andrews: What's a Hog Hideout?
Nick Stokes: It's only the best barbecue know to mankind. It's a little bit of a drive but don't worry. Greg knows where it is.
Greg Sanders: [laughs] I thought you said you knew where it is.
Henry Andrews: [sometime later/imitating Nick] It's just a bit of a drive y'all.
[as himself]
Henry Andrews: Look if this place is so great then how come I've never heard of it?
Nick Stokes: Come on man. A little trust, baby. Come on it's your birthday.
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Henry Andrews: I hate my birthdays. They always suck.
[they round the corner, revealing a full moon]
Henry Andrews: Oh great, we've got a full moon tonight too, so every nut job in the state will be out.
David Hodges: I'm surprised at you Henry. There's absolutely no statistical evidence linking lunar cycle to an increase in irrational, careless, or criminal behavior.
Nick Stokes: [seeing a car coming straight on ahead of them] Are you sure about that?


CSI: Immortality (2015) (TV)
Gil Grissom: What are you, Henry? About five-ten, 160 pounds?
Henry Andrews: 164. Why?
Gil Grissom: I'm gonna make a bomb. We're gonna blow you up
Henry Andrews: Oh! Okay, great


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)
[Grissom walks in]
Henry Andrews: Why did the fly fly?
Gil Grissom: Because the spider spied her.
[pause]
Gil Grissom: Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.