David Phillips
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Quotes for
David Phillips (Character)
from "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" (2000)

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"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)
[Catherine, Warrick and David work on a body on a crop circle]
Catherine Willows: The only pathway is from the paramedics. How'd he end up in the middle of the circle?
[David looks up at the sky]
David Phillips: I have an idea.
[Warrick looks up]
David Phillips: I'll keep it to myself.
[Catherine smiles]

Nick Stokes: [enters the room] Crop circles?
[laughs]
Nick Stokes: Come on, Super Dave. Wasn't the alien autopsy embarrassing enough?
David Phillips: Given the circumstances, alien was not an unreasonable conclusion at the time.
Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.
David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.

Conrad Ecklie: I was just thinking, David, I've lost my keys, sunglasses, even a wallet.
David Phillips: Sir, this really isn't my fault.
Conrad Ecklie: But I've never lost a body.
David Phillips: I didn't do anything.
Conrad Ecklie: Find him, Phillips, or this goes on your record.
David Phillips: What would you like me to do?
Conrad Ecklie: Get out! Get out! Out!


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: It's just a rat fellas, why you wearing the hazmat gear?
David Phillips: He made me do it.
Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.

Gil Grissom: Why are you guys wearing hazmat suits?
David Phillips: He made me!


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: You Kill Me (#8.8)" (2007)
[repeated line]
David Phillips: No signs of sexual trauma.

Dr. Al Robbins: You know, David, our job is never easy, but this is a colleague. If your emotions are too raw and you feel you need to excuse yourself...
David Phillips: [Touching a frozen body which causes a crunching sound] Look!
[Touches the dead body again]
David Phillips: He's crunchy.


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Part 2 (#5.25)" (2005)
David Phillips: [about Nick] Do you think he suffered?
Dr. Al Robbins: Do I think he suffered? Yes. Definitely.


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Time of Your Death (#6.22)" (2006)
David Phillips: Why am I always the guy who has to sniff the shorts?


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)
David Phillips: [looking at stuffed head] This is a career first.
Warrick Brown: A little tip for you. The new Mrs. Phillips doesn't need to hear that.
David Phillips: Are you kidding me, she'll want to hear every detail. Why do you think I married her?


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: A Kiss Before Frying (#11.12)" (2011)
David Phillips: Why can't people die closer to the road?


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Suckers (#4.13)" (2004)
Catherine Willows: [Looking at the bite marks] These marks arn't consistant with human teeth.
David Phillips: What about fangs?
Warrick Brown: Fangs? come on!


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Lost Reindeer (#14.11)" (2013)
D.B. Russell: David? Got a name yet?
David Phillips: Lucky for us, the victim was not a Secret Santa, he has got business cards, everything


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Under My Skin (#15.17)" (2015)
David Phillips: [looking at the last pictures on the victims cell phone] Looks like he's having a pretty good time
Nick Stokes: Right up until someone ended it


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bite Me (#6.3)" (2005)
David Phillips: It's like the Red Sea in here.
Gil Grissom: The Red Sea's not red, David.
David Phillips: No, it's blue from afar and transparent when held in hand, like any other body of water. I was just speaking figuratively.


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Two and a Half Deaths (#8.16)" (2008)
David Phillips: [to Grissom, after pulling a rubber chicken out of the mouth of a murder victim] Oh, come on. You've gotta say something. Uhh, "I suspect fowl play"; or, uh, "that's poultry evidence." You know: something.
Gil Grissom: Dying's easy; comedy's hard.


"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)
David Phillips: You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day.