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[after Nick takes Archie to a crime scene at a software company
] Greg Sanders
: I thought we had a relationship going! What are you doing taking Archie into the field instead of me? Nick Stokes
: Right tool for the right job, man. Greg Sanders
: What do you mean? Nick Stokes
: Hey, Archie? What's that "Star Trek" episode with that guy and the forehead thingy and the time portal...? Archie
: Original, TNG, Deep Space Nine, Voyager or Enterprise? Greg Sanders
: Point taken. Archie
: ...Or were you thinking about Farscape? Nick Stokes
: I have no idea what you are talking about.
: [about a girl in the case
] Oh Serina, you can defrag my hard drive anytime.
[to Nick about girl in a case
: Wow, Serena, you can defrag my hard drive any time.
: You rang? Archie Johnson
: Yes, found the owner of that cell phone. Sara Sidle
: Megan. Archie Johnson
: Nope. Shiela Latham. Sara Sidle
: What is Megan's best friend's cell phone doing in the front seat of her boyfriend's van? Archie Johnson
] If that's your boyfriend, if that's your boyfriend... Sara Sidle
, Archie Johnson
: He wasn't last night.
: [Archie stands up and shakes his legs
] What are you doing? Archie
: I've been watching movies for three days straight... my butt fell asleep.
[watching an attractive girl undress in a video
] Nick Stokes
: BLAM. Archie
: You can say THAT again. Nick Stokes
: BLAM. Catherine Willows
: Down boys.
] Archie Johnson
: The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any more I can do here. You know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. You think maybe we should Gil Grissom
] No! This is between you and me.
: Later betties. Hodges
: Quitter. Archie Johnson
: Glory whore.
: [looking at the body in the morgue
] And I thought Robin Williams' arms were hairy.
: [after watching the fanboys denounce "Astro Quest Redux"
] So let me get this straight: some nerd takes a cheesy '60s sci-fi show and turns it into something a little more realistic - minus the spaceship, of course - and the other nerds get pissed off enough that they beat him up and kill him over it? Archie Johnson
: People don't like it when you mess with their heroes.