Stella Bonasera
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Quotes for
Stella Bonasera (Character)
from "CSI: NY" (2004)

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"CSI: NY: Manhattan Manhunt (#2.7)" (2005)
Det. Stella Bonasera: Tiffany's. Now you're talking my language.
Det. Mac Taylor: You can tell from a map?
Det. Stella Bonasera: You kidding? I can tell from the moon. I love those little blue boxes.

Det. Stella Bonasera: No girl leaves her house without her cell phone, at least not at that age.
Det. Mac Taylor: GPS the phone number.
Det. Stella Bonasera: You got it. Tiffany's! Now you're talking my language.
Det. Mac Taylor: You can tell from a map?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Are you kidding, I can tell from the moon. I love those little blue boxes.

Detective Don Flack: [about the students shot execution style] How did this happen? There were security guards at every one of the Endecott's Manhattan properties.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: [about Darius] He's gotta be here somewhere.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Are we sure this is Darius?
Det. Mac Taylor: Take a good look at the position of these kids. Look familiar?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Yeah, those nurses in Midtown. He played in their blood.

Det. Mac Taylor: Last thing Darius said down in Miami. He was coming to New York to make things right.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Think he has?
Det. Mac Taylor: [looking at Alexa's body] Not even close.

Det. Stella Bonasera: Are you this hot on every case?
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Well, I made a promise to a 8-year-old boy and I'm not going to let him down.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Say no more.

Detective Danny Messer: [as he, Lindsay, and Hawkes walks into the crime scene] Got your call. Team's all here.
Det. Stella Bonasera: [sighing] Great, thanks.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: We came as soon as we could.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: [looking at the brandy glass full of pills on the table] What's with all the pills?
Det. Stella Bonasera: It's a pharm party.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: What's a pharm party?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Pharmaceuticals. Empty your parents medicine cabinet and pop until you drop. Rich kids idea of fun. At first glance I've got Lithium, serdalyne and fluoxatine. Most of these drugs don't even get you high.
Det. Mac Taylor: [walking into the room] Stella and I are going to run with this one. Danny check the service entry area there's an elevator there, secondary exit. Sheldon bag up these bottles get them over to Lindsay she'll be in trace.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Sir, I've worked big crime scenes before. I've got two hands I'm ready to work.
Det. Mac Taylor: This is a high profile case Lindsay. I want you in the lab and I need your full attention. Remember anything we find here can take us to Darius. Be careful, be thorough.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [about Horatio being served with a notice] Listen, I get named on these things all the time. Our union attorney's great of you want me to give you his number.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: This is a matter outside the job.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Sorry.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: I have a number of memories up here and not all are good. So I apologize.

Lieutenant Horatio Caine: [cuffing him] Vincent Rosetti, you're under arrest for the murder of Lydia Johnson.
Det. Stella Bonasera: And that's just the charge in Florida.
Vincent Rosetti: Selling your weapon in Union Square to a stranger, Vincent. That wasn't too bright, was it?
Vincent Rosetti: No way I've been in Attaca the last six months on a stolen property bid.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Yeah we know that's where you met up with Henry Darius.
Vincent Rosetti: So I was in lockdown with him, big deal.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: On the contrary, Vincent. It is a big deal.

"CSI: NY: Zoo York (#2.3)" (2005)
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: What causes high blood pressure in an 18-year-old girl?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Uh, just about everything.

[looking at body of young woman in formal white gown]
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Runaway bride?
Det. Stella Bonasera: If she is, she didn't get very far.

[in morgue, discussing dead woman]
Dr. Evan Zao: This is interesting - take a look at her shoes. Why drop bank on a pair that's two sizes too small ?
[Stella compares shoe to woman's foot, then glances at her young face]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Well, she may look like Cinderella, but the shoe doesn't fit.

Det. Lindsay Monroe: [as Stella hands her a napkin for the spilled coffee] Oh, thanks.
Det. Stella Bonasera: No problem.
Det. Lindsay Monroe: My feet haven't touched the ground since I clocked in.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Well, welcome to the crime lab.
Det. Lindsay Monroe: In Montana, they gave us breathing breaks.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Let me give you a tip. Protein bars, comfortable shoes, and at least four hours of sleep a night.
Det. Lindsay Monroe: [referring to reports] Well, that's not going to help me today. Mac wants these now.
Det. Stella Bonasera: No, Mac wants them right. That's all that matters.
Det. Lindsay Monroe: I just don't wanna slow things down.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [about the cheeto's] Junkfood for lunch?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Food for thought.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Explain to me what a debutante ball is precisely?
Det. Stella Bonasera: It's the presentation of a young woman into high society.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: It looks more like high anxiety.

Tanya Danville: Not every fairy tale has a happy ending.
Det. Stella Bonasera: [cuffing her] Certainly not yours.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Found her shoes.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Pierre Gascone. Big bucks.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Why leave them over there?
Det. Stella Bonasera: She took 'em off. It's all about pain, Hawkes. How much you're willing to endure in order to look good. She's young, traces of vomit. I'm thinking alcohol poisoning. I think she was completely blitzed, she probably didn't even realize she dropped them.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah, well, if that's the case, she wasn't drinking solo. Pulled a set of partials off the controls, and there's no way that this girl broke that lock by herself.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Jogger found her this morning. What happened last night?

"CSI: NY: The Closer (#1.22)" (2005)
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [hands Stella a spleen from a victim] I've got something else for you.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Don't tell me you're going to make me hold something else.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Why haven't you taken your wedding ring off?
Detective Mac Taylor: Because, uh, I don't know. I don't want to.

[examining the woman who was hit by a car]
Detective Mac Taylor: No clothes, no shoes, no handbag, just lace.
Detective Stella Bonasera: If this is the new look for spring, you can count me out.

[Stella is speaking in Greek]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Pou eisai esi vre file? Skeftesei kat kai ksero pou thelis na me to pis.
Detective Mac Taylor: And in English?
Detective Stella Bonasera: What the hell's buggin' ya Mac?
Detective Mac Taylor: Sounds so much better in Greek.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [Smiles] Yeah, most things do.

[in parking garage of Yankee baseball stadium]
Aiden Burn: [looking at victim's driver's license] Name's Gilbert Novotny... Brookline, Massachusetts
Detective Stella Bonasera: A Boston fan in the Bronx. That's brave.
Detective Danny Messer: Or stupid. Very stupid. Boston's tough. New York better get it together.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Now, these abrasions were suffered while running.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: But... these here, tiny puncture wounds on her soles. I can't imagine what she was doing.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Do they have anything to do with cause of death?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: No. I had Tox run a screen, results were negative. Margo Trent died because she was hit by a truck, plain and simple.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Okay. So this is no longer a case for Homicide. Flack will want to pursue a suspect for possible rape and assault charges. Why don't you collect a sex kit, send it over to DNA.
[Stella's pager beeps]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Oh. Dispatch. You know, I have a feeling it's going to be very busy day.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Mm-hmm.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Want to switch jobs?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Oh, yeah, sure.
[Hawkes points to a cadaver, and holds out a pair of saws]
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: You'll be cutting off that guy's right arm and left leg.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [smirks] I'm leaving now.

Detective Stella Bonasera: If you're looking into the Alissa Danville case for mistakes, I expect to be consulted.
Detective Mac Taylor: I wasn't looking...
Detective Stella Bonasera: Mac, the murder weapon was in the alley with his DNA on it. What else did you expect to find?
Detective Mac Taylor: Well, for one, we didn't take a substrate control sample on the murder weapon.
Detective Stella Bonasera: That's because Sullivan claimed that the hammer wasn't his. In that kind of a case, not taking a control sample is standard procedure.
Detective Mac Taylor: Well, maybe that should change, because finding someone's DNA on a murder weapon shouldn't automatically make them guilty.
Detective Stella Bonasera: It doesn't. Let's just consider the facts in this case, all right? His coworker testified that every time Alissa Danville walked past the construction site, Sullivan stopped and watched her go by. Then there's the hammer. It was issued to every employee of Luxwell Construction Company. Every single hammer was accounted for except for Quinn Sullivan's. And yet he claims that the hammer we found at the crime scene with his DNA on it wasn't his.
Detective Mac Taylor: He told me it was.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You went to see him.
Detective Mac Taylor: Mm-hmm. He now claims the hammer, but he still sticks to his story that he didn't kill Alissa Danville.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You believe him?
Detective Mac Taylor: I want to. Stella, if the hammer was his, his DNA could have already been on it. DNA from epithelials he shed from normal, everyday use. Source attribution, Stella. It's a viable possibility the victim's blood was spattered on top of Sullivan's epithelials. When we tested the blood for DNA, we got a match for both the victim and Sullivan.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Well, if we had known that it was Sullivan's hammer, it wouldn't have changed our test results.
[Mac gives Stella a look, and realization dawns on her]
Detective Stella Bonasera: But it might have changed our conclusion.

"CSI: NY: Recycling (#1.12)" (2005)
[Danny and Stella question a pedophile about a murder]
Danny Messer: Usually when you stab somebody you know the guy's name. It's just common courtesy.
Theodore Gates: Well I didn't stab anyone.
[to Stella]
Theodore Gates: What on earth is he talking about?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Your DNA was found on the knife that was used to stab Michael Starling.
Theodore Gates: I see. Was it a Swiss Army Knife?
Danny Messer: Nice job, you got it on the first try.
Theodore Gates: [to Stella] Is it necessary that he be here?
Danny Messer: What? What's the matter, am I too old for you?

Det. Stella Bonasera: [after winning a bet with Mac] Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [Stella comes in, sees Danny browsing a women's magazine] If you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask.
Danny Messer: Did you know that waterproof mascara dries out your lashes? That's amazing.

[the Magazine Vendor, Mark Stutz, just explained he stabbed the messenger because he was sick and tired of bikers acting like they own the area]
Det. Stella Bonasera: [disgusted] Pedestrian rage. Why do I even ask?
[at that moment, a bike messenger speeds by, giving little warning, almost running Stella over]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Son of a bitch!
Mark Stutz: Makes you want to murder 'em, don't it?
Det. Stella Bonasera: [Stella doesn't respond to his comment] Get in the car.

[Danny and Stella are investigating the death of a bike messenger]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Alright Danny. How does the DNA from the fingernail scrapings on the knife not match Brett Stokes? I mean, she's got 'motive' tattooed on her forehead.
Danny Messer: Hey, don't kill the messenger.
Danny Messer: See what I just did there?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Yeah, it was cute.

Theodore Gates: I registered my change of address with the proper authorities.
Det. Stella Bonasera: We're not here for a Megan's Law visit, Mr. Gates, although seeing you within ten feet of a child is nauseating.

"CSI: NY: Summer in the City (#2.1)" (2005)
[talking about mosquitoes]
Detective Mac Taylor: Only the female of the species bite.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Good for her!

Detective Danny Messer: It's hot a little bit, eh?
Detective Stella Bonasera: What the hell are you wearing that jacket for?
Detective Danny Messer: Ah, my mother still dresses me.

[Hawkes explains something about brains out of the head being fried]
Detective Stella Bonasera: I knew this would be a no-brainer for you.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: She didn't just say that.
Detective Don Flack, Detective Mac Taylor: She did.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Hawkes! Hope you like puzzles.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Our climber's brain?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yep. Uh, patrol's searching for more pieces.
Detective Mac Taylor: And the body?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Landed on the sixth-floor terrace.
Detective Mac Taylor: [glancing up at the building] Fell from high enough to reach terminal velocity. The impact of the fall knocked his brain right out of his skull.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: This is a portion of the occipital lobe, the inferior temporal sulcus. I'd say at least 50% of his brain is still out there.
Detective Don Flack: [approaching] Well, I've recovered a shoe that contains about 10%, and ESU is currently scraping a Jell-O-like substance from the sewer grate.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Hey.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hello, Hawkes. How's it going.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Well, the job's great. Mac is... I feel like he's always looking over my shoulder.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [laughs] He is. Just don't look back. And know the answers to his questions before he asks them, which means you're also gonna have to know his questions.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: In about a week and a half, what you just said is gonna make sense to me, right?

Detective Mac Taylor: Did you know that Hawkes is a walking encyclopedia of tidbit information?
Detective Stella Bonasera: We can go to him instead of Google.

"CSI: NY: Supply & Demand (#1.20)" (2005)
Detective Mac Taylor: [the father of a suspect has filed a complaint against Stella] You should've told me. You know how I hate getting surprised by Hillborne.
Stella Bonasera: Lipstone's just trying to get us on the defensive, Mac.
Detective Mac Taylor: You handed her ammunition. Benson's just trying to protect his daughter like any father would.
Stella Bonasera: Yeah, well, I was thinking of Will's father. How long that drive back to Jersey must've been after what we said to him.
Detective Mac Taylor: You should've been thinking about Lipstone. She's an expert at turning a criminal trial into a referendum on how cops screw up.
Stella Bonasera: I know how trials work, Mac.
Detective Mac Taylor: Good! Act like it.

Diane Lipstone: My client has nothing to say.
Stella Bonasera: It's okay. I'm in a chatty mood. You know, Jordan, when you opened that purse and saw what you walked away with, my guess is you figured out a way that you could regain the lifestyle your father had cut you off from.
Jordan Benson: [flashback] Coke at a serious discount. Text me, it's safer.
Stella Bonasera: And you had two buyers the next day. So you hid the drugs at your apartment, took the two portions to campus to sell, and after you sold to Paul and Andrea, Deroy was waiting for you, and grabbed your purse. But the drugs weren't in the purse. Now you had his drugs, and he had your address. You couldn't call the police. You went back to the apartment, got the rest of the drugs and took off, so you could sell them.
Jordan Benson: [flashback to Jordan and Will] Taking off for a couple days.
Will Novick: See ya.
Stella Bonasera: But you never gave Will a heads up. It didn't matter that he was brutally, *brutally* murdered. At some point, when you came back here, maybe after Detective Flack and I told you what happened to Will, you realized that those drugs were bad news. And up until that moment, everything that happened was a series of... stupid mistakes made by a spoiled, sheltered little girl. But what a jury will find most unforgivable... is that there is no record of you *ever* trying to contact Andrea Allix, knowing that those same drugs killed Paul Collins. Perhaps on your lawyer's sound advice. Jordan Benson, you're under arrest for negligent homicide and heroin trafficking.

Sheldon Hawkes: Fatal shot to the head was an act of mercy, after the beating he took.
Stella Bonasera: His attackers were on a mission.
Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah, and they knew how to inflict pain. They broke three ribs, causing him to lose his breath. Kicked him in the kidneys hard enough to bruise the organs. It'd be excruciating. Stomped each kneecap.
Detective Mac Taylor: The intruders were desperate for something inside that apartment. Probably a stash of heroin.
Sheldon Hawkes: Did they find it?
Stella Bonasera: We don't think so.
Detective Mac Taylor: Signs of heroin use?
Sheldon Hawkes: I'm running a tox. No needle marks, no inflammation of the nose or lips. Weight was good, heart in great condition. I'd be surprised if he's a user.
Stella Bonasera: Well, the smartest dealers never dabble in their own product.
Sheldon Hawkes: His father came up from Jersey to, uh, do the ID. I did not detail the torture to him.

Stella Bonasera: This place is totally trashed.
Detective Mac Taylor: So is the victim.
Stella Bonasera: I don't think I've seen this severe of a tossing in a long while. Oh, yeah, they were definitely looking for something.
Detective Mac Taylor: Thoroughness of the search says it probably wasn't found.
Stella Bonasera: You search, you find, you stop.

[about rich father who froze his spoiled daughter's credit card account]
Stella Bonasera: Six weeks ago, he paid off two balances over $10,000 each, and then her froze her account. It's the uptown version of being grounded.

"CSI: NY: People with Money (#3.1)" (2006)
Detective Mac Taylor: So Sam's plan was to propose to someone else on the bridge, then pick up Erica Lancaster to "talk".
Detective Stella Bonasera: Translation: end their relationship.

Detective Lindsay Monroe: I'll do a little demonstration.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I love it when she does this.

[Don is flirting with some technicians]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Impressing your fans with your battle wounds?
Detective Don Flack: They were concerned about my recovery. I was just putting them at ease.

Detective Lindsay Monroe: So, Flack, how many numbers did you get?
Detective Don Flack: I don't like where you're going with this, Monroe.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: How many?
Detective Don Flack: Three.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Everybody loves a hero.

Detective Lindsay Monroe: So Flack, how many numbers did you get?
Det. Don Flack: I don't think I like where you're goin' with this, Monroe.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Really that many?
Det. Don Flack: Three.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Everybody loves a hero.

"CSI: NY: Corporate Warriors (#2.4)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: I think the Italians got it right. Live to eat, not eat to live.
Detective Danny Messer: That's what I'm talking about.

Detective Mac Taylor: You know what's great about the San Gennaro Festival?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hmm. The constant throng of rubberneckers or the fact that your crime scene is already contaminated before you get the call?
Detective Mac Taylor: [pointing to a food cart] The cannolis.

Detective Danny Messer: [showing Mac and Stella evidence photos] The fiber you found from the katana sword, Mac; fiber I pulled from Greg Thompson's overcoat. They match.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Where in the overcoat did you find the fiber?
Detective Danny Messer: From a one-inch slice inside the lining, waist-high. The last two calls on Greg Thompson's cell phone were to Jared Stanton.
Detective Stella Bonasera: All right, we know why Jared was in the park. Greg lured him there.
Detective Danny Messer: Icing on the cake: found bark from the tree at the scene of the crime on the seat of his overcoat.
Detective Mac Taylor: That explains why Jared Stanton never moved. He didn't know Greg was already there. The head never came off. One cut, one kill... matching the angle of the cut on Jared Stanton's neck, moving from low to high.
Detective Danny Messer: Bingo. We know Greg Thompson killed Jared Stanton.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Great. We've got our murderer. Now we just have to prove who murdered him.

Detective Stella Bonasera: He wasn't beaten to death?
Dr. Evan Zao: That's just salt in the wound. Punches all came after the fact. They're postmortem. But this...
[holding up a wood splinter]
Dr. Evan Zao: ...pierced the sinoatrial node, disrupting his heart's electrical impulses. It's your murder weapon.
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's inconsistent with the evidence we found at the scene.
Dr. Evan Zao: Maybe San Gennarro wasn't the main event for this guy.

[owner previously told detectives about a wild martial arts fight in her billiards hall]
Detective Danny Messer: I cannot believe the evidence is gonna back the pool lady's story, but it was a perfect tread impression on that ceiling.
Detective Stella Bonasera: And the killer splinter came from this cue.
Detective Danny Messer: So we're looking for a combination of Spider-Man and Minnesota Fats.
[Note: "Minnesota Fats" is nickname used by both a fictional and a real pool hustler]

"CSI: NY: Tanglewood (#1.13)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: [thinking about their next move] So we still need to prove that they were with Paul Montenassi. Surveillence camera at the bar?
Detective Mac Taylor: [smiles, recallinfg an ATM machine at the bar] Adam.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Who's Adam?

Detective Mac Taylor: [sees empty trophey case, reads gold placard] Mickey Mantle bat: $5,000.
Detective Stella Bonasera: That's a lot of money for a piece of wood.

Detective Mac Taylor: I think... it's a Mickey Mantle. If it is, it's a collectors item. Autographed bat from the "Mick" goes for around five grand these days.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Wow! Expensive murder weapon. Why would you kill someone with a five thousand dollar bat?

Detective Stella Bonasera: [Stella sees a Derek Jeter bobblehead on the dashboard of an SUV she and Mac are processing] Who is that on the dashboard? Mickey Mantle?
Detective Mac Taylor: I dunno. Looks kind of like Derek Jeter.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Derek Jeter from the Yankees, right?
Detective Mac Taylor: Yeah
Detective Stella Bonasera: Didn't they get beat by Boston or something?
Detective Mac Taylor: We were up three to zero and then we got swept. But we're trying to forget that.

Sonny Sassone: You're gonna tell me about the mob? Who are you? What do you two make a year, huh?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Ninety-five thousand seven hundred forty-six dollars and thirty-two cents, and we earn every penny of it.
Sonny Sassone: [laughs] I spend that a year on blow.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah, I can tell.

"CSI: NY: The Lying Game (#3.14)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: What would a woman be doing in the men's bathroom?
Detective Don Flack: I can think of several reasons. All with happier endings.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Are we looking at a hate crime here?
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Transgendered showgirl drowned in a public toilet - sound like love to you?

Detective Mac Taylor: [enters his office to see Stella and Lindsay waiting for him] Something wrong?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Lindsay's gonna take off for a little while.
Detective Mac Taylor: [looking at Lindsay] When?
Detective Lindsay Monroe: I leave tomorrow for Montana. A couple of months ago I got a call from the Bozeman's prosecutors office. They apprehend a suspect who was wanted in a multiple homicide ten years ago. Four girls. They were uh... they were friends of mine. I was the only witness.
Detective Mac Taylor: [understanding] And the only survivor as I remember.
Detective Stella Bonasera: They want her to testify.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: I still see their faces. My friends faces. The mothers' faces... I don't know what I'm more scared of. Standing in front of the monster who did this... or seeing those faces.
[getting to her feet as as Stella gives her a hug]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey. You take care of youself, kiddo.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Thanks.
Detective Mac Taylor: [gives her a hug] You're tough, Lindsay. You'll pull through this.

Sheldon Hawkes: [Struggling to lift victim] Ohhh, Jane Doe's heavier than she looks.
[Places victim on gurney]
Detective Don Flack: Check out the size of her feet.
Sheldon Hawkes: [Sheldon Hawkes looks at victim's hands] And hands.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [Stella gestures to victim's chest] She's had her breasts surgically enhanced.
Detective Don Flack: [Hawkes and Stella look confused while Flack uses his pen to lift the victim's skirt] Better make that a John Doe.

"CSI: NY: Trapped (#2.11)" (2005)
Det. Don Flack: Makin' progress.
Danny Messer: [from inside locked panic room] Yeah, crime stopper, run to Ray's grab me a slice, extra pepperoni, alright. Bring it back, just fold it up, slide it right through huh.
Det. Don Flack: That's no way to treat good pizza, Messer.
[walks over to Stella]
Det. Don Flack: I checked out Hagler and Dr. Penn, alibis check out.
[Stella's laptop begins scanning evidence]
Det. Don Flack: Whatya got there?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Surfactant and Hypochlorite.
Det. Don Flack: And for those of us with just a high school diploma?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Uh soap and bleach. Laundry detergent.

Detective Stella Bonasera: How does somebody get inside of a locked vault with only one door?
Danny Messer: If Houdini were alive, we'd have our killer.

Detective Stella Bonasera: That's it? No butler?
Det. Don Flack: No.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Too bad. I though we could wrap up that one quick.
Det. Don Flack: What?
Detective Stella Bonasera: In a mansion like that, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue?
Det. Don Flack: I was a Monopoly guy.

[after Danny gets locked in a small panic room]
Detective Stella Bonasera: I'm gonna start processing out here.
Danny Messer: Great... I'll be in here!

"CSI: NY: The Fall (#1.17)" (2005)
[talking about training officers]
Detective Stella Bonasera: I ran into mine a month ago. I swear, if I were Chief of Police, he'd still call me 'Toots'.

Banger #1: [Mac and Stella are watching surveillance footage of the bodega murder] Hector, blast that fool.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [to Mac, gleefully] Did you hear that? Thank you for being stupid. We got a Hector.

Mac Taylor: The samples have identical chromatograms.
Detective Stella Bonasera: And the spatter's consistent with the shooter's position.
Mac Taylor: Perez thought it was safe to keep his jacket because he didn't get blood on it.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hmm. Didn't expect to be brought down by a bottle of white wine.
Mac Taylor: High-velocity Chardonnay spatter.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Score one for the yuppies.

[Gangbangers shot up a wine shop, murdering the owner and destroying several bottles]
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's Nagasaki in there.

"CSI: NY: Til Death Do We Part (#1.15)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: I'm driving.
Detective Don Flack: No! Please let me drive?
Detective Stella Bonasera: No.
Detective Don Flack: Do you at least got a cracker or a piece of candy in the glove box?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Why?
Detective Don Flack: Because when you drive, we don't eat!

Detective Don Flack: We found an abandoned car and a hand.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What do mean a hand?
Detective Don Flack: A hand. A right hand, to be exact. Below the wrist. All fingers intact.
Aiden Burn: You didn't find anything else?
Detective Don Flack: I haven't gone in yet.
Aiden Burn: What? Flack, you little scaredy cat. You don't believe these stories about this place being haunted?
Detective Don Flack: I was doing my job, Aiden. Getting statements from witnesses.
Aiden Burn: Stella, you smell that?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah, chicken. Uh, but I did hear the one about the monk who went crazy and killed the others is true.
Detective Don Flack: The 122 gets call of strange noises coming from this place all the time.
Aiden Burn: Will you stop? That's just an urban legend.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Uh, Aiden, I think you'd better hold Flack's hand.
Detective Don Flack: [sarcastic] Yeah, okay. Cute.

Detective Stella Bonasera: [handing Connor a tape-lifted fingerprint] Here.
Connor Mulcahy: It's a fingerprint.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Lifted off the steering column of the car you stole. Until that moment, you had no rap sheet, no mug shot, prints weren't in the system. Now it's up to you whether or not that thumbprint comes up as a match in AFIS. And if it does, the only person you can blame is yourself.

[Stella and Connor Mulcahy were both orphans]
Connor Mulcahy: Did you ever meet your folks?
Detective Stella Bonasera: No
Connor Mulcahy: You're lucky.
Detective Stella Bonasera: How's that?
Connor Mulcahy: You don't know what you're missing.

"CSI: NY: The Party's Over (#5.15)" (2009)
Dr. Sid Hammerback: [Stella is wearing an cocktail dress and carrying a brown paper evidence bag] You might have chosen a different bag to go with that dress.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You think?

Adam Ross: [Stella has just suggested Jake could have killed his father] Come on, Stella, he's a small thirteen year old boy. There is no way that he's strong enough to strangle an adult.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Closing off the two carotid artries stops blood flow to the brain. That takes a matter of seconds and very little pressure, Adam. It's about the position of the ligiture not the force behind it. And since science puts Jake with our vic at time of death...
Adam Ross: [Hesitant] Jake could have murdered his father.

Detective Stella Bonasera: [At Danny's apartment, holding a bag with soup in it] Jewish penicillin.
Detective Danny Messer: [laughs] I'm not sick, Stella.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You like chicken soup, don't'cha?
Detective Danny Messer: [Hesitates] I could never say no to a little chicken noodle.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Then invite me in.
[He lets her in]
Detective Stella Bonasera: You know, I came over here to yell at you.
Detective Danny Messer: Stella, we deserve to get paid. Come on, cops work hard in this city, you know, I mean, the Brass, they're not working for free so why the hell should I? You know I'm right. Come on, pull up a spoon.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I'm old school, Danny. You know, I took an oath and I take it literally. My responsibility is first and foremost to the people of this city and job that I do.
Detective Danny Messer: That's exactly why I'm holding out for a little respect. I mean I come from a family of cops, Stell, I'm not taking this thing lightly.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Look I guess, I guess, it just took me driving over here to understand it all. People were crazy. They were getting out of their cars, it was chaos, there were no traffic cops.
Detective Danny Messer: So you were coming over here to lay into me, yeah?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah I was on my way to lay into you! I was so pissed off, Danny. Hawkes stood in for you at that hearing and they threw the case out. And there was so much work at the lab. Thank God for Lindasy, you know, she's a real trooper.
Detective Danny Messer: Yeah, yeah, she is. She's been calling me every other hour. Except I got to cough every time I answer the phone in case it's not her.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You did the unpopular thing.
Detective Danny Messer: [Chuckles] Me? That's my M.O., right?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Ah, look, I got to get back to work, but I'm not leaving here without some of that soup, so how about you fix me up one to go please?
Detective Danny Messer: Sure.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey Adam, you'll be alright?
Adam Ross: Yeah, uh, you know, nothing that a slice and some Guitar Hero can't fix.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [pauses] Okay, see you tomorrow.
Adam Ross: Night.
[Turns and walks away. Stella is about to call out to him but doesn't and returns inside]

"CSI: NY: Jamalot (#2.10)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: You can take the girl out of high school, but you can't take the scars of high school out of the girl.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Someone's trying to kill the whole starting team?
Detective Mac Taylor: That's one way to get more playing time.

[after Mac describes the rules of roller derby]
Detective Stella Bonasera: You can't possibly know this.
Detective Mac Taylor: Someone took me to a game once.
Detective Stella Bonasera: No one would have taken you to a roller derby game.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Unless you were on a date...
Detective Mac Taylor: It was fun.
Detective Stella Bonasera: The game or the date?
[Mac smirks]

"CSI: NY: On the Job (#1.21)" (2005)
[questioning a bartender]
Stella Bonasera: Sandra Lopez... do you know her?
Steve Dark: [looking at photo provided by Stella] Lady, there are so many sick women floating around this joint, they all look like ham sandwiches to me, you know?

Butler Randolph: [his consistent answer to Stella's questions] I'm really not permitted to say.
Stella Bonasera: Oh, listen, Jeeves...
[Note: a sarcastic reference to Reginald Jeeves, a fictional valet in writings by P. G. Wodehouse]
Butler Randolph: Randolph

[Detective Stella Bonasera wants to fingerprint a murder victim in the morgue]
Stella Bonasera: I figure if I take her prints, could be something else that I can learn about her.
Sheldon Hawkes: [raising the corpse's arm by the wrist] Anytime I can... lend a hand.

"CSI: NY: Can You Hear Me Now? (#4.1)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: The wire is holding the view finder in place
Detective Mac Taylor: Maybe we're are the one's who are supposed to be doing the sightseeing.

Detective Stella Bonasera: [walks in, holding a box] Mac, if I told you to go home and get some rest, you would say...
Detective Mac Taylor: What's in the box.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Of course you would. I think I may have found what you are looking for.

Detective Stella Bonasera: [Detectives Taylor, Bonasera, and Flack are called over to look at a view finder at a crime scene] There's blood on the coin slot.
Detective Don Flack: Yeah I always like to do a little sight seeing after I commit murder.

"CSI: NY: Night, Mother (#1.10)" (2004)
Det. Stella Bonasera: You know what they say about keeping condoms in your wallet?
Jason: They get holes.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Just like your story.

[Stella has confronted a suspect about a murdered woman]
Jason: I fell in love with her.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Trust me. You're gonna get plenty of love where you're going.

Det. Stella Bonasera: Uh-oh.
Detective Mac Taylor: What?
[they stop walking]
Det. Stella Bonasera: You hear that?
Detective Mac Taylor: Hear what?
Det. Stella Bonasera: It's your mind racing again.

"CSI: NY: The Triangle (#5.10)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera: [about the weirdness of the crime] Is it me or is there something really strange about this crime scene?

Detective Stella Bonasera: [walking into his office] Mac, where the hell did you go last night? I called you repeatedly, looked all over the street. You just vanished.
Detective Mac Taylor: I was with the FBI... They picked me up in a car and questioned me for over an hour about the Ann Steele case.
Detective Stella Bonasera: The fixer with the flash drive.
Detective Mac Taylor: I was the last one who handled it. They accused me of stealing it.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What?

Detective Lindsay Monroe: [cathing her] Stella! Aren't you the uh... the official safety officer at the lab?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yes, that is my proud unpaid position. Why?
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Well I've got this umm... friend, she works upon a forensics lab in New Jersey, and... she's pregnant.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Oh, good for her.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Yeah, except she is nervous because you know all the chemicals and the processes that we do you know that could really harm the development of the baby, right?
Detective Stella Bonasera: That's true. But there is also so many different safety protocals in place. Goggles, face shields, fume hoods. I mean, not to meantion all the training and retraining we have to go through. I'm sure she'll be fine.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: [nodding] Seem's like she's in a little over her head.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Well, she's is not alone, right? I mean, the baby has a father?
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Yeah, yeah and he is great. It's just... you know I don't really know how ready he was for any of this so... well it's complicated.
Detective Stella Bonasera: And beautiful. Listen Lindsay, umm... I'm sure if your friends' coworkers are anything like yours, they'll understand the situation and work with her, even be happy for her. It's gonna be okay.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Thanks.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You are welcome. Hey, umm... tell your friend congratulations.

"CSI: NY: Rain (#1.7)" (2004)
Det. Mac Taylor: I hear this guy is just the opening act. The main event's in the bank.
Det. Stella Bonasera: They do things big south of Canal Street. It's Chinatown, Mac.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [examining a body] There's something gooey here.
Det. Mac Taylor: Gooey? There's a good forensic word. Gooey. I have to use that more.

Det. Stella Bonasera: Joanne Cho just received this ransom note about an hour ago. It was marked "urgent" and placed in her neighbor's mail slot.
Det. Mac Taylor: [ironically] We have a kidnapper who relies on the kindness of New Yorkers?

"CSI: NY: Hung Out to Dry (#3.4)" (2006)
[the team arrives to investigate a murder at a college fraternity party]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Witnesses? Sober ones anyway?
Det. Don Flack: Nah. I waited for you to get here before I started my interviews, looking forward to that by the way. I swear to you, if one of them calls me "bro"...

Detective Stella Bonasera: College tuition: $40,000. Room and Board: $10,000. Puking and passing out on your parent's dime: Priceless.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Did some research on the Hydra.
Detective Mac Taylor: Whoa, research... you're Greek, don't you know all that stuff?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Even we Greeks have to brush up on our mythology once in a while.

"CSI: NY: Super Men (#2.19)" (2006)
Det. Stella Bonasera: Come on, didn't you ever tie a towel around your neck when you were a kid and pretend to be a superhero? A little Mac-Man?
Det. Mac Taylor: Sergeant Rock. You couldn't get me out of fatigues.

Det. Stella Bonasera: When you were a kid, you ever tie a towel around your neck, pretend to be a superhero? Little Mac Man maybe?

Adam Ross: That glass that Dr. Hawkes pulled from our John Doe... it tested positive for Krypton.
Det. Mac Taylor: Krypton?
Adam Ross: Kryptonite was Superman's only weakness.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Well, that explains everything.

"CSI: NY: Some Buried Bones (#3.15)" (2007)
[watching the surveillance tape of the "invisible" killer, which shows up as a white blur on the tape]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Did the camera malfunction?
Detective Danny Messer: Either that or Fifth Avenue's haunted.

Detective Stella Bonasera: So did our vic surprise a shoplifter?
Detective Danny Messer: Shoplifter surprised him with a bullet.

Adam Ross: [Watching survelliance of the suspect] I can tell she's got a bully in her life. Check that out. Look how she flinched when a customer raised his hand.
Detective Danny Messer: Could be too much coffee.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Or a sign of abuse, and withdrawal like that is a classic symptom of PTSD.
Detective Danny Messer: [to Adam] How'd you know that?
Adam Ross: Huh, uh, uh, my, uh, my dad was a bully.

"CSI: NY: Past Imperfect (#3.21)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: I thought lock and key parties went out in the seventies.
Detective Don Flack: Apparently they've had resurgence. Who knew?

[Stella and Don arrive at a key party to question people]
Rene Vanderfeld: Don't be shy. Everybody's a bit nervous their first time out.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Actually we're not here to participate.
Rene Vanderfeld: [looking suggestively at Stella] That's our loss.
Detective Don Flack: We're NYPD.
Rene Vanderfeld: I'm so sorry! That's right, you called earlier. I was expecting big burly men with guns.
Detective Don Flack: Well if you focused your attention in my direction, you might see one.

Detective Stella Bonasera: You let a lady walk home drunk? What a gentleman you are.

"CSI: NY: Heroes (#2.23)" (2006)
Det. Stella Bonasera: This wasn't about torching a car.
Det. Lindsay Monroe: It was about hiding a body.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [after learning Aiden Burn was killed] We're gonna get the son of a bitch who did this!

Det. Stella Bonasera: That woman burned beyond recognition in your car, was a *detective*!

"CSI: NY: Grand Murder at Central Station (#2.2)" (2005)
[victim, Evelyn Danner, was blind]
Detective Stella Bonasera: [to murderer] I didn't know Evelyn, but I have to give her credit for one thing. For not being able to see, she was able to see right through you.

Detective Stella Bonasera: [with Danny in their victim's apartment] Looks like she was one hell of artist. It's hard to believe she was blind. Such attention to detail, it's exquisite.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey.
Det. Mac Taylor: Hey.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You look serious.
Det. Mac Taylor: Shut the door.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [closes Mac's office door] What's up?
Det. Mac Taylor: Rape case Aiden's been working on - Regina Bowen. Rapist struck eighteen months ago.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Right. We never caught the guy, and ten days or so ago he raped again, same girl.
Det. Mac Taylor: [handing Stella an evidence baggie] You notice anything... unethical about this?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Seal's broken. Oh, you don't think Aiden...
Det. Mac Taylor: Seal's broken, Stella. She tampered with the evidence. Aiden is the only one on the case.

"CSI: NY: Enough (#5.6)" (2008)
Detective Mac Taylor: You're a good friend, Stella Bonasera.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [smiling] And don't you forget that.

Detective Danny Messer: [Enters Mac's office] Yo, Boss.
Detective Mac Taylor: Danny, what's up?
Detective Danny Messer: I put in for that vacation next month.
Detective Mac Taylor: That's right, the, uh, trip to Costa Rica.
Detective Danny Messer: Yeah, Costa Rica. Well it fell through, so you can put me back on the schedule, alright?
Detective Mac Taylor: Alright, I'll do that. Just let me know when you wanna take the time.
Detective Danny Messer: Alright, thanks.
[Leaves the office]
Detective Lindsay Monroe: [Enters Mac's office] Mac. Hey. Remember that wedding in Italy I told you about in March?
Detective Mac Taylor: Girlfriend from college?
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Very good. Well, they decided to postpone. So.
Detective Mac Taylor: You want back on the schedule?
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Yeah.
Detective Mac Taylor: [Suspicious look] No problem.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: Thanks.
[Leaves the office]
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [Enters Mac's office] Hey Mac.
Detective Mac Taylor: Hold on. Don't tell me. Trip to San Francisco in January?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah. Turns out San Francisco is closed in January. Strangest thing.
Detective Mac Taylor: [Smiling] Get out of here. Go home.
[Hawkes leaves and Stella enters]
Detective Mac Taylor: I should've known you'd orchestrate something like this.
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's only temporary. Everybody giving up a week of paid vacation for Adam buys him a little time.
Detective Mac Taylor: Department doesn't just transfer vacation days. How'd you do it?
Detective Stella Bonasera: I've a friend at the Union who has a friend in the City Council who has a friend who has a friend.
Detective Mac Taylor: Well you're a good friend, Stella Bonasera.
Detective Mac Taylor: And don't you forget that.
Detective Mac Taylor: So what about Buenos Aires?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Would of been a good trip.

"CSI: NY: Three Generations Are Enough (#1.8)" (2004)
Paul Stryzewski: You can't prove it was my child.
Stella Bonasera: Oh, yes, we can. We have your DNA on file.
Don Flack: Oh, yeah. Two years ago you were convicted of falsely reporting an incident. Means we have your DNA on file for the rest of your life. We also found your DNA on cigarettes outside the church.
Paul Stryzewski: There's no smoking in the church. So I go outside.
Stella Bonasera: So you smoke three cigarettes in the exact same spot that we found Trina Rolston's body?
Don Flack: Look, Paul. We're here to help you.
Paul Stryzewski: I know what the truth is.
Stella Bonasera: So do I, Paul. Your DNA was all over the cigarettes that I found at the scene. And somehow, one cigarette has Trina's DNA on it as well.
Paul Stryzewski: I kissed her.
Don Flack: Now, how does that thought process work? "There's the mother of my child on the ground dead. I should probably call 911, but let me get a little action first."

Det. Mac Taylor: A paranoid schizophrenic's worst nightmare.
Stella Bonasera: He doesn't just think we're out to get him. We are.

"CSI: NY: Tri-Borough (#1.11)" (2005)
Stella Bonasera: Do you recognize him?
Alex Hopper: That's Randy Hontz. What happened to him?
Mac Taylor: He was electrocuted.
Stella Bonasera: How do you know him?
Alex Hopper: We parkour together.
Stella Bonasera: Parkour?
Alex Hopper: Free running. Traversing the urban obstacle course we all encounter on a daily basis from a new perspective.
Stella Bonasera: It must come in handy when you're breaking into houses.
Alex Hopper: That was a one-time mistake.
Mac Taylor: Breaking in or getting caught?

[Detective Mac Taylor picks up a newspaper that a suspect recently read. Ink from the newspaper left a fingerprint]
Stella Bonasera: All the news that's fit to print.
[proud of her pun, she raises her eyebrows at Taylor]

"CSI: NY: Outside Man (#1.6)" (2004)
[At an apartment, detectives find the body of a man with one leg recently amputated. In the freezer, they find a finger]
Stella Bonasera: This place gives a whole new meaning to the term "chop shop".

[after getting a database hit on the print from a severed finger found in a freezer]
Stella Bonasera: Only takes one print to finger someone.

"CSI: NY: All Access (#2.21)" (2006)
Det. Mac Taylor: [Kneeling next to her] Stella. Stella!
Det. Stella Bonasera: [Stella's coming to] Where's Frankie?

Det. Don Flack: Did Frankie have a key to your apartment?
Det. Stella Bonasera: No. No, he'd never even been to my place. That's my rule, no guys at my place. That way if something goes bad, I have a safe place to return to.

"CSI: NY: Stuck on You (#2.14)" (2006)
Det. Don Flack: I've slept with a lot of women. Some wild, some crazy. Some both.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Excuse me?

[Don walks up to Stella and randomly says... ]
Det. Don Flack: "I've slept with a lot of women. Some wild, some crazy, some both."
[Stella gives him a puzzled look]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Excuse me?
Det. Don Flack: Carlo's words. Not mine.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Ah.
Det. Don Flack: Shoulda swung by the hospital to meet this guy. He's a piece of work. He calls himself the new American playboy. "Lives, drinks, and breathes women." Again, his words. So that in mind, as far as jealous exes go, lot of 'em.
Det. Stella Bonasera: I'd say Carlo emerges as our primary target.
Det. Don Flack: Five minutes into the interview, I wanted to kill him.

"CSI: NY: Consequences (#3.8)" (2006)
Detective Stella Bonasera: I think somebody's following me.
Detective Mac Taylor: What makes you think that?
Detective Stella Bonasera: I'm hearing footsteps and seeing shadows and glimpses of something or someone and -
Detective Stella Bonasera: Look, I know this sounds crazy but I really feel like I'm being watched.
Detective Mac Taylor: This is at your place?
Detective Stella Bonasera: No. No, actually it's, uh, as I go into work, twice on the subway, while I was shopping today.
Detective Mac Taylor: When did this start?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Uh, about a week ago. I first felt it when I dropped off your birthday gift at your place.
Detective Mac Taylor: Well, I'll assign a patrol unit. We'll have some guys outside your place.
Detective Stella Bonasera: No, no that's not necessary.
Detective Mac Taylor: [Mac's phone rings] Taylor. Okay.
[He hangs up]
Detective Mac Taylor: A homocide on Lafayette. Come on, I'll drop you off at home, it's on the way.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Nah, no, it's okay. I wanna enjoy every last minute of my day off. Just telling you makes me feel a lot better, okay?
Detective Mac Taylor: Okay, I'll call ya.
[He leaves]

Adam Ross: Hey guys.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Adam.
Adam Ross: Hey Danny, you remember that rust stuff you found in the alley?
Detective Danny Messer: Rust stuff? Rust stuff? You respect the time it took me to collect that, at least call it "trace."
Adam Ross: Okay. Contained traces of molasses and non-human blood. Bear blood to be exact.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What?
Adam Ross: North American Grizzly Bear. But, but there's more. The blood on this rock is a match to Cyrus Menlo, but it's also a match to the blood found on these leaves.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Both human blood, right?
Adam Ross: Right.
[Holds the two leaves up]
Adam Ross: But you put them together like this and shazam.
Detective Danny Messer: You got one leaf - with a hole in the middle of it.
Adam Ross: A hole probably made from a spike or something with a jagged edge. Right, huh, you see where I'm going here?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Bear blood, molasses, leaves with human blood on them, a spike and a jagged edge, you're talking bear traps.
Adam Ross: Yes, you win the washer and dryer.
Detective Danny Messer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, help me out here. You're telling me Cyrus Menlo was caught in a bear trap?
Adam Ross: Yeah.
Detective Danny Messer: You're crazy.
Adam Ross: It's the only conclusion we can arrive at with this evidence.
Detective Danny Messer: So Tanaka sets the bear trap, leads Cyrus Menlo down the alley, Tanaka goes into the warehouse...
Adam Ross: - Bang bang, Tanaka gets shot. Cyrus walks out, steps in the trap while Tanaka bleeds to death inside the warehouse. Moral of the story, alright: stick with bowling. What up?
[He and Danny fist bump]

"CSI: NY: The Ride In (#3.17)" (2007)
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: What have we got?
Detective Stella Bonasera: A woman says she saw, what she claims was, a giant cigarette on fire, running for its life.

[a murder victim is found dressed in a cigarette costume]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Okay, let's just say it now to get it over with: smoking kills.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah, but who killed him?

"CSI: NY: Snow Day (#3.24)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey Mac, where're you going?
Detective Mac Taylor: London.

Detective Mac Taylor: They belong to the gang we took down this morning. They're here for their coke.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What are we gonna do?
Detective Mac Taylor: Stop 'em!

"CSI: NY: What You See Is What You See (#1.23)" (2005)
Stella Bonasera: Mac, Aiden got a CODIS hit on the swizzle stick. Recognize any of these guys?
[Stella hands Mac a mugshot array]
Det. Mac Taylor: That's what I like about you. You always get the details right.
Stella Bonasera: Well, technically, you're a witness. So if I only showed you one photo...
Det. Mac Taylor: You're leading me.

[Detective Danny Messer must undergo a mandatory psych evaluation following his involvement in a shooting]
Stella Bonasera: You just talked to Danny about the eval?
[Mac glances at Stella's outfit]
Stella Bonasera: You like it? Hopefully my date will, too.
Det. Mac Taylor: [picking up a folder] Yeah, uh... it's all here. He went. He's trying, but... And then this comes across my desk.
[Mac hands Stella another folder about Sheldon Hawkes, the medical examiner]
Stella Bonasera: Hawkes wants to work in the field.

"CSI: NY: Crime and Misdemeanor (#1.19)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: What do you do when you can't sleep?
Det. Mac Taylor: Work.
Detective Stella Bonasera: No, I mean, what do normal people do when they can't sleep?

[Tom Martin works as the driver for a trade delegation headed by Robert Costa, who has been a suspect in two murder cases. Martin acted to exonerate his boss both times]
Tom Martin: Innocent until proven guilty. It's still the basis of your legal code.
Detective Stella Bonasera: And what's your code? Protect Robert Costa no matter what he does?
Tom Martin: You're mistaking my loyalty for dishonesty.
Det. Mac Taylor: No. You're mistaking cowardice for loyalty.

"CSI: NY: YoungBlood (#2.6)" (2005)
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [about the vic's stomach contents] Some vegetables, some seafood, lobster of some kind, probably in a soup.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Lobster. There's no sign of strangulation on our vic, yet he died from asphyxiation. Allergic reaction?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Exactly what I was thinking. He only ate about ten minutes before he died.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hmm. I thought you only got to choose your last meal on death row.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Guy didn't know it was his last meal.

[victim was accompanied in elevator by mystery woman who left bloody shoe prints]
Mac Taylor: [checking victim] Belt's undone.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Our woman in heels either knew him or was about to.

"CSI: NY: Bad Beat (#2.8)" (2005)
Detective Don Flack: You play poker?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Occasionally. Why? You got a problem with that?
Detective Don Flack: Yeah. You're physically incapable of keeping a straight face.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Really?
Detective Don Flack: Now, Mac. There's a man with a poker face. Who knows what he's thinking?

[trying to get information, Flack snaps a cigar]
Robert Dulcet: You know how much that cost?
Detective Don Flack: Now? Nothing.
[Flack snaps another one]
Detective Don Flack: Hey, Stell.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah?
Detective Don Flack: That smell Cuban to you?
[Stella sniffs the tobacco]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Can't tell. Better break another one.

"CSI: NY: American Dreamers (#1.3)" (2004)
Det. Stella Bonasera: If this case taught us anything, it was to live life.

Det. Stella Bonasera: [to Detective Mac Taylor as they examine a human skeleton found on a sightseeing bus] How long is this tour?

"CSI: NY: Love Run Cold (#3.3)" (2006)
[Stella and Hawkes walk into Mac's office]
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Autopsy results?
Detective Mac Taylor: This is a good one. A runner who somehow has frostbite on his face in 90 degree heat, who died of carbon monoxide poisoning in the middle of Central Park.
[Mac smirks, as Hawkes just looks dumbfounded]
Detective Stella Bonasera: That's just...
[thinks for a brief moment]
Detective Stella Bonasera: not possible.

[referring to the New York Marathon]
Detective Stella Bonasera: What makes someone want to run 26.2 miles anyway?

"CSI: NY: A Man a Mile (#1.5)" (2004)
[at private Chase School for Girls, which the victim attended]
Melissa Wesley: When you go to a school like this...
Detective Aiden Burn: I went to a school like this.
[later, after the students leave]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Last time I checked, you didn't go to a school like this.
Detective Aiden Burn: Cuts through a whole layer of attitude if they think you're one of them.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Your sister ever bring Hannah here?
Matt Paulson: No. She was underage.
Detective Aiden Burn: That'd make you the first club owner in the history of New York City who didn't stock his place with teenage girls.

"CSI: NY: Blood, Sweat and Tears (#1.14)" (2005)
[Stella & Mac are investigating a case at a circus]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Until now I never really believed people were double-jointed.
Detective Mac Taylor: They're not. There's no such thing as double-jointed. It's just people with very loose tendons and muscles.

"CSI: NY: Boo (#4.6)" (2007)
Detective Mac Taylor: I hate zombies.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I know, they spoil all the fun.

"CSI: NY: Cuckoo's Nest (#6.8)" (2009)
[Danny walks into the crime lab, free of his cane]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey. On your own two feet and looking good, Messer.
Detective Danny Messer: Not bad, huh? First the wheelchair, now no more cane. Done.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah. You know, that was one of the scariest moments, and I'll never forget it when you said you couldn't move your legs.
Detective Danny Messer: When I saw the blood on my hands, I mean, I thought that was it.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah, well, it wasn't your time.
Detective Danny Messer: Yeah, let's go with that. So what's up with this thing this morning? I mean, this guy's on a boat full of people. What's he going to do, swim to London?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Well, been better off just to swim directly to Rikers.
Detective Danny Messer: Yeah. I mean, I'm not complaining, you know. Slam dunk and a suicide? Easiest stretch we had in a while.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah. I can always use the overtime, but having dinner at a normal hour tonight sounds great.
[both Stella and Danny's cell phones ring]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Sid.
Detective Danny Messer: Mac.
Detective Stella Bonasera, Detective Danny Messer: You jinxed it.

"CSI: NY: Sanguine Love (#6.14)" (2010)
Detective Stella Bonasera: How's it going?
Detective Danny Messer: Feeling old.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I'd say it was the cold weather, but you're too young for aches and pains like that.
Detective Danny Messer: Well, Mac asked Adam to develop our vic's roll of film. Kid had no idea what he was talking about. Digital generation.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I hope you hit him.
Detective Danny Messer: Oh, I did.

"CSI: NY: City of the Dolls (#2.9)" (2005)
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's a to-do list for tomorrow. If you're going to kill yourself, why spend time planning to pay bills and do laundry?

"CSI: NY: Comes Around (#3.23)" (2007)
Det. Mac Taylor: Do you remember your first collar?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Oh, yeah.
[Stella snickers]
Detective Stella Bonasera: A shoplifter on 43rd and Eigth Avenue. This guy took one of those "I Love New York" t-shirts from the souvenir shop. It was the proudest moment in my life.
[Stella laughs]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Two days later, I arrested him again in the same store.

"CSI: NY: Run Silent, Run Deep (#2.20)" (2006)
Detective Stella Bonasera: La Perla underwear. These babies sell for 350 dollars.
Danny Messer: I get my BVDs in a three-pack for 10 bucks. Boom.

"CSI: NY: Blink (#1.1)" (2004)
Danny Messer: You hear about that body?
Det. Stella Bonasera: The one by the River Cafe? Yeah, I caught it on the police portable when I was in the shower.
Danny Messer: Why doesn't that surprise me?
Det. Stella Bonasera: The job never stops, Danny.

"CSI: NY: My Name Is Mac Taylor (#5.8)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hey.
Adam Ross: Hey.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What are you still doing here?
Adam Ross: Oh, some friends of mine stood me up for pizza so just down on top of things, ya know.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Mind if I join you?
Adam Ross: Oh, no, no, please.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Okay, so what do we got? That doesn't look like work.
Adam Ross: It really isn't. I was just curious. You know there are three Sheldon Hawkes in New York state and there are ten Danny Messers.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Ten?
Adam Ross: Yeah.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Don't tell Danny that.
Adam Ross: There's also another six Adam Rosses and there's eighteen in New York state. I was just sitting here wondering, you know, what do they look like or what kind of lives do they live, you know?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Alright, what about me?
Adam Ross: Uh, Stella Bonasera. There's only one.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Trust me, that's enough. Let's try Sid.
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's a ninety-year-old woman.
Adam Ross: [laughs] I think he was named after his mother.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Alright, Don Flack.
Adam Ross: Don Flack.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Oh, six.
Adam Ross: Wow, six Don Flacks.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Six.
Adam Ross: I like that name. Don Flack.
[Deep voice]
Adam Ross: Detective Don Flack.

"CSI: NY: Admissions (#4.18)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera, Detective Mac Taylor: [simultaneously] Who discovered the body?
Detective Don Flack: You two've been working together way too long. A student came in looking for her keys and "boom".
Detective Mac Taylor: Boom? You and Danny have been working together way too long.

"CSI: NY: Like Water for Murder (#4.17)" (2008)
Reed Garrett: [Yelling to mac from a crowd] Hey Mac! Mac!
Detective Stella Bonasera: [to Mac] Looks like you got company, I'll see you inside.
Reed Garrett: [Yelling to Mac] Two woman, same kind of jobs, Is this a serial killer?
Detective Mac Taylor: [Telling the guards] He's okay.
Detective Mac Taylor: [to Reed] Reed, i thought you were working the city desk for the paper.
Reed Garrett: [to Mac] Nope, not anymore.
Reed Garrett: [to Mac] I got my own blog now.
Reed Garrett: [to Mac] New York 24-7 News.
Detective Mac Taylor: [to Reed] Don't you wanna get your facts straight before you sensationalize a story?
Reed Garrett: [to Mac] I thought that's what i was doing.
Reed Garrett: [to Mac] You know? Help me out.
Detective Mac Taylor: [to Reed] You got two female victims, both floaters, both brutally murdered.

"CSI: NY: Taxi (#4.20)" (2008)
Detective Mac Taylor: [reading a blog] For weeks I've been investigating the cabbie killer murders with a certain morbid fascination.
Detective Stella Bonasera: This is in real time.
Detective Lindsay Monroe: I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic... see if I can track an IP address.

"CSI: NY: Second Chances (#6.11)" (2009)
Detective Stella Bonasera: Steering column's intact. Wasn't hotwired. Definitely started the old-fashioned way, with a key. Hey, Danny, I'm waiting for your "boom."
Detective Danny Messer: Ah, no more booms. Lindsay made me promise. She's afraid it's going to be Lucy's first word.

"CSI: NY: Rush to Judgement (#5.13)" (2009)
Detective Stella Bonasera: [about Flack, who's under investigation by Internal Affairs] He's so by-the-book, he doesn't even swear.

"CSI: NY: Officer Blue (#1.9)" (2004)
[Detective Mac Taylor has been trying to delay surgery on a horse to remove a sniper's bullet, hoping extra hours will give the horse more strength to survive]
Stella Bonasera: Where's the bullet from the horse?
Det. Mac Taylor: Still in the horse.
Stella Bonasera: Forgive me, but taking the bullet out of the horse is the first thing that should've been done.
Det. Mac Taylor: [testily] And you should be searching Jerald Brown's house for the weapon instead of arguing with me. We need the bullet and the weapon to make an arrest. Plain and simple, Stella. Until then, the horse can stay alive a couple more hours. It's my call. End of conversation.
[Stella leaves to search the house. She returns after finding a weapon]
Stella Bonasera: [testily] In Stella talk, it's time to get the bullet out of the horse, Mac. End of conversation.

"CSI: NY: All in the Family (#4.13)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera: Your divorce was finalized a week ago. The judge who presided over it was just found dead. What would you call that?
Larry Rose: A happy coincidence.

"CSI: NY: The Box (#5.9)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera: So if Mikey and all of his friends are accounted for, what was in the box?

"CSI: NY: Sleight Out of Hand (#3.18)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: They say burning is the most painful of deaths.
Detective Danny Messer: I love it. How do they know? What did they do, take a poll? "64% of dead people surveyed..."

"CSI: NY: Obsession (#3.13)" (2007)
Stella Bonasera: You have any proof that you were in Atlantic City yesterday?
Artemis Hunt: Yeah. A girl named Precious,she's listed, she'll tell you. Uh, we were gambling. Lost all my money, but I did get a free voucher for the buffet.
[Smirks at Stella]
Artemis Hunt: It was the only table I won at actually.
Detective Don Flack: [Flack grabs Artemis by the arm] Let's go, c'mon.
Artemis Hunt: What's this all about?
Detective Don Flack: Parole violation. And I don't like you.

"CSI: NY: A Daze of Wine and Roaches (#3.19)" (2007)
Detective Stella Bonasera: It's not illegal to be a sociopath.

"CSI: NY: Raising Shane (#3.11)" (2006)
Tom Fester: Welcome to Peeking Tom's. You all looking for anything in particular?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Let me guess, Tom?
Tom Fester: The man, the myth.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [shows her badge] Detective Bonasera. The Law, the Order.

"CSI: NY: Epilogue (#6.1)" (2009)
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: COD is exsanguination. Fatal gunshot was here to the carotid artery. Second shot pierced her deltoid here.
[Stella smirks]
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: What?
Detective Stella Bonasera: It amazes me how just on instinct, you know which shot was first.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [pointing to the body] Well, this is her bloody hand print, and it appears that she grabbed her shoulder in pain.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Hmm. And in order to transfer the blood, she had to already be bleeding.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Exactly. Now, I'm brilliant, but sometimes I get a little help.

"CSI: NY: Risk (#2.13)" (2006)
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Sorry for the delay, QT and I were necking.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Come again?
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Necking... looking at his neck.
Detective Stella Bonasera: [makes sound of understanding and slight relief]
Dr. Sid Hammerback: You don't think I would kiss a corpse, do you?
Detective Stella Bonasera: No, no. Of course not.
Dr. Sid Hammerback: That's disgusting.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I agree.
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Long as we got that straight.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Sid, cause of death?

"CSI: NY: What Schemes May Come (#3.20)" (2007)
Detective Don Flack: [Stella and Flack arrive at a crime scene where the victim is dressed as a knight] So I've considered all possibilities for his wardrobe. Too early for Halloween, Shakespeare in the Park is months away, and it's Monday night so Broadway is dark.
Stella Bonasera: Alight that leaves us with a medieval costume party.
Detective Don Flack: If that's this guy's story, that was a killer party.
Stella Bonasera: [Stella laughs] Any I.D.?
Detective Don Flack: Nope, no I.D., no wallet, no family crest.
Stella Bonasera: Anything from you witness over there?
Detective Don Flack: [Stella and Flack look over to the homeless man] Yeah. You know that sugar you put in your coffee in the morning?
[Stella nods]
Detective Don Flack: Not sugar.
Stella Bonasera: No?
Detective Don Flack: No. Granulated tracking devices that the government use to keep tabs on us.
Stella Bonasera: Good to know.

"CSI: NY: Hammer Down (#6.7)" (2009)
Detective Don Flack: [at their crime scene] The driver of the car's name was... Dean Rovin. He was thirty-five years old. According to the first on scene, he was killed on impact. M.E.s just hauled the body out of here.
Detective Mac Taylor: [noticing alcohol bottles scattered on the passenger side] Looks like he had a few for the road.
Detective Don Flack: This was actually Dean's third and last DUI.
Detective Stella Bonasera: So, this is a traffic accident. And we're here because...?
Detective Don Flack: Think I'd call you all the way out here for a 10-99? Got my Mac on this morning.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Oh, is that anything like Spidey senses?
Detective Don Flack: It's way more powerful.
[Stella laughs]
Detective Don Flack: Take a look at those skid marks.
[Mac climbs onto a patrol car to get a better look]
Detective Mac Taylor: Looks like the driver of this rig lost control and jumped the median.
Detective Don Flack: And immediately fled the scene.
Detective Stella Bonasera: I can see doing that if you were driving under the influence.
Detective Don Flack: Sure. Or if you recently committed murder.
[Flack leads Mac and Stella to an oil drum and shows them the body inside]
Detective Don Flack: Were it not for that accident, we may never have found her.

"CSI: NY: Grand Master (#1.4)" (2004)
[Stella and Danny enter a restaurant where sushi is served on a naked woman]
Stella Bonasera: Oh, that can't be sanitary.
Danny Messer: Who cares if it's sanitary? I want to see the menu.

"CSI: NY: Greater Good (#5.23)" (2009)
[about Talmadge Neville]
Ronnie DeSoto: He should be lying in an alley right now with a bullet between his eyes.
Detective Don Flack: Excuse me?
Detective Stella Bonasera: And how do you know that?
[DeSoto doesn't answer]
Detective Don Flack: You were going to do him, weren't you? So what's your beef with Talmadge Neville?
Ronnie DeSoto: Let's just say I'm a guy with a specific skill set. And I got the constitution to commit acts that other people don't have the courage to.
Detective Stella Bonasera: You're a hit man.
Ronnie DeSoto: I'm not familiar with that term.
Detective Don Flack: Sorry. "Contract killer." Is that what you prefer to put on your business cards?

"CSI: NY: Open and Shut (#3.6)" (2006)
Detective Stella Bonasera: [to Grace Thomason] Framing a man with known mental problems, very imaginative. But then, you're a therapist. You'd know who to pick.

"CSI: NY: Oedipus Hex (#3.5)" (2006)
Detective Stella Bonasera: [Reading from a piece of paper the victim had in his sock] "In my darkest moment, when all seems lost, you are at my side."
Detective Mac Taylor: [Coming up from behind] I appreciate you too, Stella.

"CSI: NY: Dead Inside (#5.7)" (2008)
Detective Stella Bonasera: You remember yesterday when you asked me if I wanted to break some rules? I do now.
Detective Danny Messer: You want to break some rules?

"CSI: NY: You Only Die Once (#4.3)" (2007)
Stella Bonasera: Did you get a description of the car?
Don Flack: Yup. It was your average super stealth spy car. Whatever model comes with the blue fire getaway package.