Alexx Woods
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Quotes for
Alexx Woods (Character)
from "CSI: Miami" (2002)

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"CSI: Miami: Witness to Murder (#2.12)" (2004)
Alexx Woods: Please don't tell me we sent a body away with a complete stranger.
Tim Speedle: Alexx, we sent a body awa...
Alexx Woods: Timmy, I know.

Calleigh Duquesne: [Calleigh about a fender-bender shooting] People might play nicer with a fender bender if they realized that 3 out 10 people stash a gun in their car.
Alexx Woods: That true?
Calleigh Duquesne: Yup.
Alexx Woods: Then I'll think a little harder next time I flip someone the bird.

Alexx Woods: Whoa. Found something else that might belong to the bad guy.
Calleigh Duquesne: Three-eighty Beretta Tomcat.
Alexx Woods: That's what I like about criminals: not the brightest. Leaving the murder weapon at the scene. That's good.
Calleigh Duquesne: Unless it's not the murder weapon.
Alexx Woods: Why is that?
Calleigh Duquesne: It's fully loaded.
Alexx Woods: Maybe there was one in the chamber.
Calleigh Duquesne: [checking the chamber] Well, the only way to tell for sure if this is the actual murder weapon is to find the bullet and the casing.
Alexx Woods: Then start looking. 'Cause we've got a through and through.

Alexx Woods: Timmy said you found the body hauler.
Eric Delko: Yeah. Genius was trying to leave town in the company van.
Alexx Woods: Did he still have the body?
Eric Delko: [holding up a stack of $100 bills] No, but had this. He said that, uh, some guy flagged him down right after he left the rest stop and said he would pay for the body.
Alexx Woods: Hauler *sold* that girl's body? Well, Eric, if the body's out there, why are we in here?
Eric Delko: Well, my guy at the Fed told me that with new bills, it's very probable that only six sets of hands have touched them. So, ninhydrin will find them. The Bureau of Engraving is entirely mechanized. So, that leaves the Fed, the bank teller,
Alexx Woods: And the little creep who sold the body.
Eric Delko: And the bigger creep who paid for it.

"CSI: Miami: Freaks and Tweaks (#1.23)" (2003)
Calleigh Duquesne: Aren't you supposed to be off this case?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Jones got the report. Can't help it if I can read upside down.

Dr. Alexx Woods: You're not even going to ask me why she'd slip Dennis eyedrops?
Calleigh Duquesne: I'm a lawyer's daughter. I don't ask a question that I have the answer to.

"CSI: Miami: Forced Entry (#1.14)" (2003)
Dr. Alexx Woods: I had to micro a hand just last week. Only way we could get the evidence out.
Eric Delko: Well, let her rip.
Calleigh Duquesne: Wait! Y'all are acting like this is no big deal. That's someone's hand!
Dr. Alexx Woods: Calleigh, you've picked up body parts before.
Calleigh Duquesne: Yeah, but I've never microwaved one. And it sort of... freaks me out that y'all have.

Dr. Alexx Woods: [a corpse has something clutched in his hand] I'm gonna need my saw and a microwave.

"CSI: Miami: 48 Hours to Life (#4.4)" (2005)
Eric Delko: [processing a glass found at the scene] The surface on these is rough. We'll be lucky if we get a print. There's lipstick, too. Was the vic wearing any?
Dr. Alexx Woods: No. But... but I do have blood around her mouth.
Eric Delko: We surprised about that, Alexx? She was shot.
Dr. Alexx Woods: No, no, no, no. Air bubbles. Means she was struggling to breathe.
Eric Delko: So death wasn't instantaneous.
Dr. Alexx Woods: This girl was a fighter.

Dr. Alexx Woods: Through-and-through. Bullet missed everything important. That means the gunshot wound didn't kill her.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: So what did, Alexx?
Dr. Alexx Woods: I noticed this when her skin dried out. Skin's worn around her nose and mouth from friction. She wasn't just struggling for air, Horatio.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: So, she was smothered.
Dr. Alexx Woods: That's what the evidence says.

"CSI: Miami: MIA/NYC Nonstop (#2.23)" (2004)
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Something's not right, Alexx. Point of entry is back here, but the origin of the blood drops is down here in the study where Mom was killed. And they travel up this hallway to the bedroom, where Dad was eventually killed. Which means the killer bypassed the bedroom where Dad was attacked. Why would he do that? Why wouldn't you eliminate the muscle first?
Dr. Alexx Woods: That would have been the smart move. Why do you think he didn't?
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Dad survives the attack, he managed to get up, come this way and head down the hall toward you, right? And along here, you see arterial gushing.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Where our suspect sank this sucker in him. Single-edged, all right. Phone's right here. Don't know why he didn't try to use it.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: That's because he wasn't going for help, Alexx. He came down here to protect his daughter.

Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Alexx?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Blood pool's dry at the edges. Puts TOD around eleven.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: So her head is literally hanging by a thread of skin.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Single-edged knife. Mom was attacked from behind, sliced left to right. No indication of resistance.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: She was probably asleep.
Dr. Alexx Woods: He transected all the neck muscles down to the second cervical axis.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: He decapitated her, Alexx.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Guy's a monster. Or he doesn't know his own strength.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Well he's about... to know ours.

"CSI: Miami: Not Landing (#2.21)" (2004)
Alexx Woods: I can undress a dead body in my sleep.
Tim Speedle: I'm leaving that one alone.

Cell Phone Bomber: You found my phone?
Tim Speedle: Have a seat. You had lunch at the Wayfarer Grill today?
Cell Phone Bomber: Shark steak.
Tim Speedle: Sounds delicious. A valet attendant stole your phone from your car.
Cell Phone Bomber: I was thinking someone from the gym stole it. So, where is it?
[Speedle dumps evidence baggies containing pieces of said phone on the table]
Cell Phone Bomber: Man!
Tim Speedle: Probably doesn't look the same.
Cell Phone Bomber: No warranty.
Tim Speedle: That sucks. You do realize that you blew up your own cell phone by putting explosives in it.
Cell Phone Bomber: In the phone's battery compartment.
Tim Speedle: So, what are you, crazy?
Cell Phone Bomber: Hey, look. Some guys like to keep alcohol in their car, video games. I like to go to the Everglades, blow things up. It's... it's a sport.
Tim Speedle: It's a sport?
Cell Phone Bomber: It's fun. Like fireworks. It doesn't hurt anybody. You know, where's the harm? It's not like I'm a terrorist or anything.
Tim Speedle: Well, you're looking at three years, minimum.
Cell Phone Bomber: I bought all the ingredients legally.
Tim Speedle: That doesn't matter. Possessing or manufacturing an explosive device is a felony.
Cell Phone Bomber: This is all 'cause some guy ripped me off?
Tim Speedle: That guy died of unrelated causes, but your bomb almost killed our medical examiner.
Cell Phone Bomber: Now, this... this isn't fair.
Alexx Woods: [entering] Want to talk about fair?
[Alexx puts a pair of pictures down on the table]
Cell Phone Bomber: Who are they?
Alexx Woods: My kids. They almost lost their mother because you like to blow things up. So tell me, is that fair?

"CSI: Miami: Triple Threat (#5.18)" (2007)
Dr. Alexx Woods: Shot in the light of day in a house filled with people? That's cold-blooded Horatio.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Correction Alexx. It's as cold... as ice.

[a man has been shot, then impaled on an ice sculpture]
Alexx Woods: Shot in the light of day in a house filled with people? That's cold-blooded, Horatio.
Horatio Caine: Correction Alexx. It's as cold... as ice.

"CSI: Miami: Blood Brothers (#2.1)" (2003)
Dr. Alexx Woods: Horatio?
Horatio Caine: Alexx, take a look at these tread marks. They go from black to light, and that is caused by what? Acceleration.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Hit and run. Suspect was speeding away.
Horatio Caine: Nope. Point of rest, point of impact right in front of that tread.
Dr. Alexx Woods: You're telling me the driver meant to hit her?
Horatio Caine: I'm telling you that our hit and run is now a murder.

Horatio Caine: How are we doing?
Dr. Alexx Woods: No ID, but a handful of Benjamins in her pockets.
Horatio Caine: You think she's a pro?
Dr. Alexx Woods: I was thinking maybe a SoBe call girl, but everything about her says model. Implants, collagen, rib removal, weight... or lack of it.
[to the body]
Dr. Alexx Woods: Barely out of your teens. You don't belong here yet.
Horatio Caine: Let's notify Interpol. Most of these models are foreign nationals. Take a look at that.
[indicating the victim's hand]
Horatio Caine: It looks like glass.
Dr. Alexx Woods: It doesn't look like windsheild glass.
Horatio Caine: No. It's not tempered. It's blue. Maybe it's from some type of bottle.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Azuret champagne comes to mind.
Horatio Caine: So she fought with this guy before he ran her over. Boy, is he a prize.

"CSI: Miami: Wet Foot/Dry Foot (#1.3)" (2002)
[an arm is found in a dead shark]
Alexx Woods: I think we're going to need a bigger body bag.
Horatio Caine: If anyone can find one, it's you, Alexx.
Alexx Woods: You got that right. All right, fellas. You heard the man. Bag him. My shark now.
Horatio Caine: I'm off to ruin a captain's day.

"CSI: Miami: Extreme (#2.10)" (2003)
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Alexx, what can you tell me?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Cause of death is asphyxiation due to suffocation.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: From being in a confined space?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Considered that, until I washed her.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: She's got bruising on both sides of her face.
Dr. Alexx Woods: From smothering. Her frenulum is torn. Classic signs.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Do we know what was used?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Maybe. Found some plastic material on her shoulder.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Okay. Bound, kept in a confined space. This sounds like kidnapping, Alexx.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Seems odd to kidnap someone, then dump the body in a public place.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Well, we are applying reason to an unreasonable act, aren't we?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Unreasonable acts are all I see.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Amen to that.

"CSI: Miami: Wannabe (#2.18)" (2004)
Dr. Alexx Woods: Brutal murder. Broad daylight in the middle of the Grove. Thought I'd seen it all. Paramedics sure left a mess.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: They certainly did. So, we have a frozen crime scene. What about preliminary?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Multiple stab wounds. Paramedics said they worked on him for twenty minutes. He was a fighter.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Yes, he was a fighter. And he was a runner, too, wasn't he? The blood runs all the way back to the house. Which means the killer followed him down here to finish the job.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Anyone see anything?
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Well, we have four eyewitnesses and four different stories.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Typical.

"CSI: Miami: Body Count (#1.24)" (2003)
[at a car accident scene]
Eric Delko: Do you think they were killed in the crash?
Alexx Woods: Not unless they each crashed into a bullet.

"CSI: Miami: Slow Burn (#2.14)" (2004)
[having survived a flashover in the Everglades]
Dr. Alexx Woods: I thought I was going to end up wearing a toe tag on my own table.

"CSI: Miami: Double Jeopardy (#4.18)" (2006)
Calleigh Duquesne: Oh my Gosh. Why is it so cold in here?
Dr. Alexx Woods: I don't want to lose what little of her I've got. When you pull a body out of the water putrefaction goes into over drive.
Calleigh Duquesne: Well, tell me you at least have enough for cause of death.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Don't know yet. What I can tell you is, her fingers were cut off.
Calleigh Duquesne: You sure it wasn't the wild life?
Dr. Alexx Woods: No, they only go for the meaty parts: the lips, ears. The fish finish the job, but someone got them started.

"CSI: Miami: Camp Fear (#1.11)" (2002)
Ruben Alazar: Your Jane Doe's blood alcohol was zero point zero.
Dr. Alexx Woods: What? So she smelled of beer but didn't drink any? Okay, that's weird.

"CSI: Miami: Dead Woman Walking (#1.15)" (2003)
Dr. Alexx Woods: I think I found cause of death.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Before you open him?
Dr. Alexx Woods: [handing Horatio an x-ray] Cervical fracture.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Looks like somebody snapped his neck. Have you tested under his nails for skin?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Just about to.
[Alexx takes the paper bag off the vic's hand]
Dr. Alexx Woods: Wait a minute. His hand wasn't like this on the scene.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: You think that's parasite activity?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Not like I've ever seen.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: That's got to be a chemical burn, though, right?
Dr. Alexx Woods: But that would have presented immediately.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Alexx? There's only one thing I know that burns like that.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Radiation. We can't stay here.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Got to notify the team. They may have been exposed, too.

"CSI: Miami: Complications (#2.11)" (2004)
[about medical procedure]
Alexx Woods: When the IV fails, they have to give it directly to the heart. You know, Uma Thurman, Pulp Fiction.

"CSI: Miami: Curse of the Coffin (#5.6)" (2006)
[a body is missing from the morgue]
Ryan Wolfe: You know, what I want to know is how Ed got up and got out of here without any one seeing him.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Hey. My staff isn't trained to watch the living.

"CSI: Miami: Smoke Gets in Your CSIs (#7.14)" (2009)
Alexx Woods: Heart rate?
Man: Was 101, dropping to 84.
Alexx Woods: Heard she was en route. What happened?
Eric Delko: There was a fire this morning, and she was fine at the scene. She just crashed.
Alexx Woods: Smoke inhalation's a quick-change artist. Patient seems fine initially, and then crashes. We need to intubate her. Stay with me, Calleight.
ER Technician: Ready? Here we go. One, two, three.
Eric Delko: Be careful with her.
Alexx Woods: Eric, let us do our jobs.
Phlebotomist Nurse: I'll run the arterial blood gas.
Eric Delko: Why don't you do that in her arm like normal? That looks like it hurts.
Phlebotomist Nurse: We need arterial blood. Elbow vein doesn't have that.
Alexx Woods: Got it. Bag her
Nurse Gina: She's difficult to ventilate.
Eric Delko: How difficult?
Phlebotomist Nurse: We've got good air entry
ER Technician: Her heart rate's not popping. She crashing, Doctor.
Alexx Woods: What's the oxygen saturation?
Phlebotomist Nurse: 79%
Eric Delko: How bad is that Alexx?
Alexx Woods: Very. We have good airway, but the oxygen can't get to her blood. Alveoli must be damaged.
Nurse Gina: What about hyperbaric therapy?
Alexx Woods: We don't have time to set that chamber. We gotta do something now. Give her nitric oxide.
Eric Delko: You want to sedate her?
Alexx Woods: Not nitrous oxide, nitric. Selectively increases blood flow to the alveoli allowing for more oxygenation. Listen. Eric please, I need you to leave so I can focus. Gina, N-O, right now. Baby, stay with me. Stay with me.

"CSI: Miami: Ashes to Ashes (#1.5)" (2002)
[finding a diamond ring the victim's stomach contents]
Alexx Woods: Looks like she ate about four carats for her last supper.

"CSI: Miami: Rap Sheet (#2.22)" (2004)
Det. Frank Tripp: Tough day?
Alexx Woods: [scoffs] You don't know tough.
Det. Frank Tripp: [chuckles] Bout time one of 'em talked back to ya.
Alexx Woods: [glares at him]

"CSI: Miami: Free Fall (#4.20)" (2006)
Calleigh Duquesne: The other victim had a head wound too. Is that right?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Yeah. But that bullet isn't yours, Calleigh Honey. It went on an ambulance ride.

"CSI: Miami: Hard Time (#2.3)" (2003)
Dr. Alexx Woods: A thousand bodies under my belt, and I don't notice a live one.
Tim Speedle: First officer didn't, either. I mean, who can blame him? Place smells like decomp. Covered in maggots.
Dr. Alexx Woods: I'm an M.D. I'm trained to know the difference.

"CSI: Miami: Death Grip (#2.4)" (2003)
Dr. Alexx Woods: Shame to have to kill an animal for doing what comes naturally.
Jeff Corwin: Guys, we can't kill this animal. I mean, it's endangered. It's Federally protected.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Okay. Let's irrigate its stomach, then.
Jeff Corwin: All right. Let's just see what he coughs up.

"CSI: Miami: Addiction (#3.11)" (2004)
Dr. Alexx Woods: [Alexx walks into the autopsy room where a bunch of kids stand by a body on the autopsy table.] I'm Alexx Woods, Medical Examiner. You're here today because you're looking for a reason not to drink and I've got one for you.
[Alexx pulls back the sheet on the body. ]
Dr. Alexx Woods: Meet Doctor Glen Monroe.
[Alexx motions to the autopsy table]
Dr. Alexx Woods: He got his Medical Degree at Florida U. He had three kids and two Ex-Wives and a Mother who depended on him.
[Alexx look back up at the kids. ]
Dr. Alexx Woods: He chose to drink and drive. So you remember Glen Monroe and deal with your problem. Before you make it mine.

"CSI: Miami: Golden Parachute (#1.1)" (2002)
Dr. Alexx Woods: [Alexx is going over the bodies] How are we doing on survivors?
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Not good. How many have you got in here?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Four or five, depending on what pieces match.