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Sara Sidle (Character)
from "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" (2000)

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"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sex, Lies and Larvae (#1.10)" (2000)

Sara Sidle: What if... you can hear the victim's screams? In the car, or at the store.
Gil Grissom: You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] You want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did you just say what I think you said?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams, you can tell me it's nothing, it's just empathy.

Sara Sidle: What if... you can hear the victim's screams. In the car, or at the store.
Gil Grissom: You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] You want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.

Scott Shelton: Like I said, I'd wrestle her off me, but I never, ever, laid a hand on her.
Sara Sidle: How 'bout a gun?
[glares at him]
Scott Shelton: [looks to Grissom]
[scoffs]
Scott Shelton: You have your hands full with her.
Gil Grissom: So do you.

Gil Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara Sidle: On bullets. It's got to be better than bugs.
[Grissom looks at her]
Sara Sidle: Less Latin.

Sara Sidle: You're the one who said one, piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Gil Grissom: What do you tape everything I say?
[Sara shrugs]
Scott Shelton: [after Sara finds blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it "got there" was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountains!
[Points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face, bitch!
[He pushes her finger away, and she pushes him back]
Gil Grissom: Sara!
[Grissom pulls her back]
Sara Sidle: You touch me again, you draw back a stump!
Scott Shelton: Look at her.
Gil Grissom: Sara!
Captain Jim Brass: Can't you control her?
Gil Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: I told you she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: You don't know a handful!
[Brass leaves with Scott Shelton]
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a *gun* and look how he treated me! I can only *imagine* how he treated his wife!
[walks away]

Sara Sidle: I wish I was like you, Grissom; I wish I didn't feel anything.

Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
[to Grissom]
Captain Jim Brass: Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told you she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, you don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!

Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
Captain Jim Brass: [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told you she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, you don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)

Dr. Al Robbins: Interesting fact about cyanide - not everyone can smell it.
Sara Sidle: Right, it's a genetic quirk.
Dr. Al Robbins: Unfortunately, I don't have that ability.
David Hodges: [walks into the morgue] "The nose" has arrived.
Sara Sidle: Hodges has the genetic quirk?
[Robbins nods]
David Hodges: It's a blessing and a curse.

Greg Sanders: I found this toilet behind my apartment complex. It's volunteered for an experiment.
Sara Sidle: It's moving.

Greg Sanders: Ah, a sex journal. Lists of girls, dates and sexual activies.
Sara Sidle: Boys and their conquests.
Greg Sanders: I've never even heard of some of these.
Sara Sidle: [Surprised] Really?
Greg Sanders: Never mind.

Mia Dickerson: So, I'm thinking that Trip put a trophy condom on his neighbors door and then transferred a trace of his reproductive material back onto his own doorknob.
Sara Sidle: You've uh, you've heard of trophy condoms?
Mia Dickerson: Sara, I went to college.

Greg Sanders: Hey Grissom, when you went to college did you live in the dorms?
Gil Grissom: Surely, you jest.
[Sara laughs]
Sara Sidle: You know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what you learn.

Mia Dickerson: Hey. Want to talk about semen?
Sara Sidle: Okay.

Sara Sidle: [after a toilet explodes in a college dorm] Well, there's got to be some logical explanation.
Greg Sanders: Well, if dorm food is as bad as I can remember, we should consider explosive diarrhea.

Sara Sidle: I'll drive.
Greg Sanders: You *always* do.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)

Sara Sidle: I remember David saying "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." So there we were at Cupid's Kiss, a nuptual Neverland where the cheese factor was dangerously high and the flowers were obviously fake. Can the love be real when the flowers aren't?

Greg Sanders: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." A dame was dead, but enough about her. The air was hot and heavy with wrong, making me thirsty, thirsty for a tall drink of water. That's when I saw her: a flower, but not the kind you pin on a lapel. She was long-stemmed.
Sara Sidle: All right, Raymond Chandler, we get it.
Greg Sanders: Those weren't just Miracle bras. They were creating four Wonders of the World.

Lacey: Cruella made me wear underwear today. Nobody makes me wear underwear.
Valerie Whitehall: [pulling a buccal swab from Greg's kit] I'll do you if you do me.
Sara Sidle: They did not!

Sara Sidle: I'm not anti-wedding. I'm just anti-stupid.

Sara Sidle: Why do we always eat here?
Greg Sanders: Open 24 hours.
Sara Sidle: Everything in Vegas is open 24 hours.
Greg Sanders: It's tradition
Nick Stokes: [walks in from car] Mmmm. Smells like bacon. Slide over.
[sits down]
Nick Stokes: That scene took forever. We were there, like what, 9 hours.
Sara Sidle: 11.
Greg Sanders: Dead laywer and 200 eyewitnesses? That's gonna take a while.
Nick Stokes: [nods] Why do we always eat here?
Greg Sanders: [smiling] It's tradition.
Sara Sidle: Ah, tradition. Like becoming a property exchange between your father and your husband.

Greg Sanders: We could compare them to the buccal swabs that we collected... if we still had them
Sara Sidle: Well, we just have to recollect them.
Greg Sanders: All 200 of them?
Sara Sidle: eah. And since we can't leave... someone else is... gonna have... to recollect them.
Nick Stokes: This is crap! I've been waiting on IAB for 14 hours. I'm tired, and I kinda smell. And I don't have a friggin' car

Sara Sidle: I need your hands.
Nick Stokes: I thought you'd never ask.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Crate 'n' Burial (#1.3)" (2000)

Sara Sidle: Are my observations distracting you?
Gil Grissom: Huh? Oh, I barely heard you.
Sara Sidle: Good thing I have a healthy ego.

Sara Sidle: Hey, Grissom. Can you come tape me up?
Gil Grissom: [after Sidle goes back into the room] I love my job.
Catherine Willows: It shows.

Sara Sidle: Hey, Grissom, could you come tape me up?
Grissom: [to Catherine] I love my work.
Catherine Willows: It shows.

Nick Stokes: Yeah, but I got her a chem set.
Sara Sidle: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick Stokes: Stop flirting with me.

Nick Stokes: Hey, Catherine, when’s your little girl comin' by?
Catherine Willows: She isn't.
Nick Stokes: Yeah, but I got her a chem set.
[looks over to see Grissom had bought the same gift]
Sara Sidle: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick Stokes: Stop flirting with me.

Sara Sidle: [about Catherine's daughter having a birthday] What's the rule, how long do I have to be here before I start kickin' in for gifts?
Catherine Willows: When spirit moves you, Sara, so in your case I guess, um, never.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Table Stakes (#1.15)" (2001)

Catherine Willows: Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.
Sara Sidle: She's dead.
Catherine Willows: Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.
Nick Stokes: Some guys still like to foot the bill.
Sara Sidle: How would you know?
Nick Stokes: Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.
Catherine Willows: What question it that, Nick?
Nick Stokes: "What do you drive?"
Sara Sidle: It's a legitimate question.
Nick Stokes: No, it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".

Sara Sidle: You're awake, I hate you.

Nick Stokes: [walks in to see Greg lively doing his work] What up, G?
Sara Sidle: You're awake, I hate you.
Greg Sanders: Couple glasses of merlot, a rack of lamb on my day off. I slept like a baby yesterday. You look horrible.
Sara Sidle: Thanks, Greg.
[Greg looks at Nick]
Nick Stokes: Don't look at me. I got 'sunshine' all night.
[Nick glances over at Sara who glares back at him, definitely catching exactly who he's calling "sunshine"]
Nick Stokes: Check for DNA in the sexual assault kit and the fingernail, please.
Sara Sidle: Everything has to be in CODIS ASAP.
Greg Sanders: Oh, is that all? I want to know who's going to authorize my overtime?
Sara Sidle: Suck it up, Greg. You're well-rested.
[Sara walks away]
Greg Sanders: [to Nick] You want a valium for her?
Sara Sidle: [from a distance] I heard that!

Warrick Brown: What ever happened, "To cross the tape, go the distance"?
Catherine Willows: [dials number on cell phone] I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.
Catherine Willows: [Sara answers]
[still half asleep]
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Catherine Willows: Hey Sara you sleepin'?
Sara Sidle: [sighs] Yeah.
Catherine Willows: Aww...

Sara Sidle: What am I, working food and beverage at one of the hotels? I haven’t had a day off in three weeks
Sara Sidle: I mean if they're gonna call me in, throw me a bone, give me the 4-19 on the elevator
Nick Stokes: Someone's bitter
Sara Sidle: I'm tired
Nick Stokes: You, tired, I thought you never sleep
[Sara yawns loudly]
Nick Stokes: [Nick laughs]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bully for You (#2.4)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: [Sara smells like decomp] Give me a mint.
Nick Stokes: You're gonna need more than one.

Greg Sanders: You smell like death.
Sara Sidle: I've heard.
Greg Sanders: You know... a real man wouldn't mind.

Sara Sidle: Soup?
Nick Stokes: Human... soup. Well, we are 73.5% liquid, eh, Dave?
David Phillips: Add some bacteria, a couple gases, and... voila!

David Phillips: From the sound of it, I'd say he's been dead about two months.
Sara Sidle: Sound of it?
David Phillips: [shakes the bag, liquid sloshes around inside it]

Greg Sanders: You smell like death.
Sara Sidle: I've heard.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Empty Eyes (#7.18)" (2007)

Sara Sidle: My date got canceled.
Gil Grissom: I'm sure he had a good excuse.

Sara Sidle: [crying] I held his hands, just like I held hers and I lost perspective.
[Grissom wipes Sara's tears]

Nick Stokes: It was good that you were there for her Sara. She didn't have to die alone.
Sara Sidle: [sadly] We usually show up too late to meet the victim.

Hodges: You ever do the right thing, and still feel guilty?
Sara Sidle: [softly] Yeah. Sucks, doesn't it?

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)

Sara Sidle: [laying in bed watching Godzilla together] I always feel sorry for the monster.
Gil Grissom: Then you better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him.

Gil Grissom: Do you believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
Sara Sidle: I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet; I just was in the barn.

Sara Sidle: [looking at the pigs] I think the fat one likes you.
Nick Stokes: They always do.

Sara Sidle: Hi.
Nick Stokes: Hey.
Sara Sidle: What are you doing?
Nick Stokes: Well, I read about this farmer in Canada who killed a bunch of women and fed them to his pigs.
Sara Sidle: Oh.
Nick Stokes: Yeah, their health department had to put out a bulletin that said "Warning, your pork may be contaminated with human."
Sara Sidle: I'm so glad I'm a vegetarian.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (#7.21)" (2007)

Milton: I shot an arrow into the air,it fell to earth, I knew not where; For, so swiftly it flew, the sight. Could not follow it in its flight. Long, long... '
Nick Stokes: Sir, that's, that's really sweet.
Milton: That's Longfellow. What do you kids know about poetry?
Sara Sidle: Nick, the arrow came in through that window.
Nick Stokes: Yeah.
Milton: Even an idiot would see that.
[Nick goes out, looks around and finds another arrow, he comes back]
Nick Stokes: Hey Sara, I found another arrow shot into the ground near that tool shed.
Sara Sidle: Maybe the shooter got nervous.
Nick Stokes: Well, to work in a Brothel you're required to register your fingerprints. So...
Sara Sidle: I'm almost done here, I'll catch up.
Nick Stokes: Okay. I'll let you know if we get lucky.
Sara Sidle: [turns to Milton and finishes the poem] 'Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; And the song, from beginning to end, found again in the heart of a friend.' Keep the faith Milton.

Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
[at Sara's look]
Gil Grissom: So they tell me.

Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time gig here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.

Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, you know what I mean.
Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without love is... pointless. It makes you sad.
Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.
Gil Grissom: No. You make me happy.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fallen Idols (#7.17)" (2007)

Sara Sidle: You rang?
Archie Johnson: Yes, found the owner of that cell phone.
Sara Sidle: Megan.
Archie Johnson: Nope. Shiela Latham.
Sara Sidle: What is Megan's best friend's cell phone doing in the front seat of her boyfriend's van?
Archie Johnson: [singing] If that's your boyfriend, if that's your boyfriend...
Sara Sidle, Archie Johnson: He wasn't last night.

Sara Sidle: You know, when I was in college, I had this boyfriend - and I thought we were monogamous. Then one night during the post-coital panty search, he handed a pair of underwear that wasn't mine.
Warrick Brown: Ooh! How'd he explain that one?
Sara Sidle: He said they belonged to his sister...
Warrick Brown: Yeah right... Let's hope your taste in men has improved.
Sara Sidle: Yeah...

Sara Sidle: [about to shave Grissom's face] Do you trust me?
Gil Grissom: Intimately.
[They wink at each other]

Sara Sidle: High school student with a van... I'll bet half the senior class is in here.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Good, the Bad and the Dominatrix (#7.23)" (2007)

Gil Grissom: I'm the only one Heather trusts.
Sara Sidle: I get it.
Gil Grissom: Sara.
Sara Sidle: [Grissom can't think of what to say] It's fine. Do what you need to do.

Lady Heather Kessler: I don't respond well to men who judge me based solely on my profession.
Sara Sidle: I get that a lot too, law enforcement.
[they share a smile]

Sara Sidle: How much do you think a night like this would cost?
Catherine Willows: Heather told me, five years ago she was clearing twenty grand a week. And that was before Lady Heather dot com.
Sara Sidle: [after a moment] What is she like?
Catherine Willows: Beautiful, smart, intense... charming. The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom.
[Sara stops processing and looks up]

Catherine Willows: Heather on the other hand, uninhibited, and can beat him at mental chess...
Catherine Willows: [Sara can't believe what she's hearing] They had chemistry and he's a scientist, I have no proof and I know he'd never tell me, but I'm certain they spent the night together... I wonder which one wore the chaps.
Sara Sidle: [clears her throat] Lots of coins and toothpicks, they don't sweep under here.
Catherine Willows: More power to him really to find someone outside of work, 'cause... you start fishing from the company pier and asking for trouble.
[Sara has a look of total shock]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Nesting Dolls (#5.13)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: [Sara and Grissom sit facing each other. The light from the setting sun filters through the darkening room] It's funny... the things that you remember and the things that you don't, you know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, you know, 'cause I couldn't let go of her hand.
Grissom: Well... the mind has its filters.
Sara Sidle: I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do you think there's a murder gene?
Grissom: I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior.
Sara Sidle: You wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't.
[Sara starts to cry. Grissom reaches out and holds her hand]

Catherine Willows: You know, every time we get a case with a hint of domestic violence or abuse, you go off the deep end. What is your problem?
Sara Sidle: Yeah, I probably do, and you let your sexuality cloud your judgment about men, and I'm gonna go over your head.

Sara Sidle: [to Ecklie] The only reason this is your lab is because Grissom doesn't kiss ass. You couldn't hack it in the field, so you fail your way up, you break up our team, and now you just hang out in the hallways waiting for one of us to screw up.

[Grissom comes to Sara's residence]
Sara Sidle: Well, if you're here, it can't be good... Can I get you anything?
Grissom: Sure. An explanation.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Way to Go (#6.24)" (2006)

Gil Grissom: [the camera focus is on Grissom] I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening, like a crime scene. Surprise, your dead.
[the camera has slowly spins around to reveal Grissom is in a bedroom]
Gil Grissom: I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare.
[Grissom sighs]
Gil Grissom: Go back to the rain forest one more time, re-read 'Moby Dick.'
[the camera is now behind Grissom and focus on a room. A female steps out wearing a white silky bathrobe]
Gil Grissom: Possibly enter an international chess tournament.
[the female walks towards Grissom and the camera focus stays only on her body]
Gil Grissom: At least have enough time to say 'goodbye' to the ones that I love.
[the female sits besides him. It's Sara]
Sara Sidle: I'm not ready to say 'Goodbye.'
[Sara smiles at him. The camera focus switches to Grissom who smiles back]

Sara Sidle: Mr. Phillipe, I have a dead man with a nineteen inch waist and no way to identify him, any help, at all, would be appreciated.
Mr. Phillipe: Do you have a picture?
Sara Sidle: I have a head shot.
[shows him a picture of a severed head]

Gil Grissom: What do you think?
Sara Sidle: I think I feel fat.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Primum Non Nocere (#2.16)" (2002)

Gil Grissom: There are three things people love to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I love a Zamboni.

Sara Sidle: Since when are you interested in beauty?
Gil Grissom: Since I met you.

Sara Sidle: You sucked at team sports, huh?
Greg Sanders: I was captain of the high school chess squad.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cool Change (#1.2)" (2000)

[Beeper goes off; Catherine calls in]
Jerrod Cooper: Hello?
Catherine Willows: Oh, hey.
Jerrod Cooper: Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.
Catherine Willows: It's my beeper now. I found it. Bye...
Jerrod Cooper: It ain't your beeper girl. That's my beeper. I do a lot of business on that beeper.
Catherine Willows: What kinda business?
Jerrod Cooper: Oh, you know. Slangin' a little somethin' somethin'.
Catherine Willows: Maybe a little bling-bling?
Jerrod Cooper: What do you know about a little bling-bling?
Catherine Willows: Invite me over to your crib, baby. You might find out.
Jerrod Cooper: Three Aces Motel. Room 202.
Catherine Willows: Three Aces Motel, room 202. See you soon.
[she hangs up, and looks at Sara who was listening]
Catherine Willows: Did I just do that?
Sara Sidle: So what's a "bling bling"?
Catherine Willows: Got me.

[Warrick and Nick are in the locker room. Nick is changing his clothes and stands there shirtless; Warrick fiddles with his tie as he prepares to go to court]
Sara Sidle: Fine suit.
[Warrick and Nick turn around to find Sara in the locker room]
Sara Sidle: [to Nick] And well? just fine.
Nick Stokes: That's harassment.
Sara Sidle: Hey, we have one locker room and it's my job to be observant.

Catherine Willows: Is there anything in there with alcohol?
Sara Sidle: Root beer?

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sounds of Silence (#1.20)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick Brown: You know he drinks when he goes out at night?
Sara Sidle: He goes out?
Warrick Brown: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?

[Grissom wouldn't tell them how he learnt sign language]
Sara Sidle: [coming into the room] What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick Brown: What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
Sara Sidle: He goes out?
Warrick Brown: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?

[Grissom walks in with a witness]
Sara Sidle: Well, now we know why Grissom's late.
Warrick Brown: Ahh, you just don't like any other women in his life.
Sara Sidle: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Evaluation Day (#1.22)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: It's hard to tell where the human ends and the animal begins.

Greg Sanders: [turns to Sara] Squirrels love'm,
[turns to Nick]
Greg Sanders: they get tossed at the Dodgers Stadium,
[turns back to Sara]
Greg Sanders: and they make a hell of a butter.
Sara Sidle: You're nuts, you know that?
Greg Sanders: Exacomundo. PEANUTS! Right scopes' the skin, left scopes the shell of the nut. Think peanuts Espanol.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: 4x4 (#5.19)" (2005)

Greg Sanders: Sara, I just want you to know that when we were in the shower together, I didn't see anything.
Sara Sidle: Really? Gosh, I saw everything...

Greg Sanders: No matter how hard you work to get big, there's always someone bigger.
Sara Sidle: It could be what keeps them going. Like Freud said, "Anatomy is destiny".
Greg Sanders: What do you think Freud would have to say about one of these being the murder weapon?

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Invisible Evidence (#4.7)" (2003)

Sara Sidle: You know what pisses me off?
Nick Stokes: Lots of things.

Sara Sidle: [to Grissom] Pin me down.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Built to Kill: Part 2 (#7.2)" (2006)

Sara Sidle: [standing in Grissom's office doorway] I hear we're out of suspects.
Gil Grissom: Not necessarily. Could be in town. Could be out of town. I'll work on it.

Sara Sidle: [after looking at the Izzy Delancy miniature] I think Malibu Barbie did it.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Committed (#5.21)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: When my father died, my mother came to a place like this for a while for evaluation.
[pause]
Sara Sidle: It looked the same, it smelled the same. It smelled like lies.
Gil Grissom: You sure you're OK?
Sara Sidle: Crazy people do make me feel crazy.

[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Well, jail or no jail - I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son.
Sara Sidle: That would be better for both of them.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Down the Drain (#5.2)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: [to Greg] I heard you finally lost your virginity.

Sara Sidle: I don't have a death wish, and I'm not a drunk. In case you were worried.
Gil Grissom: I'm not worried. I'm concerned.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bodies in Motion (#6.1)" (2005)

Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara Sidle: You know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: You guys are a real pain in the ass, you know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.

[Greg puts his hand in the soupy goop in the trunk and pulls the drain plug back - the goop splashes on his face]
Sara Sidle: Technically, that makes you a cannibal.
Sara Sidle: [pause] Grissom would be proud.
Greg Sanders: Grissom would've tasted it on purpose.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Big Middle (#5.16)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: Relax and lie down on your back.
Greg Sanders: You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once, except it wasn't in a garage. And Grissom wasn't watching.
[pause]
Greg Sanders: That was a different dream.

Sara Sidle: It's not like you to get right down to business.
David Hodges: Even I have off days, Sara.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)

Sara Sidle: Hey.
Wendy Simms: Hey.
Sara Sidle: Here you go. I checked under the keys.
[she hands Wendy a keyboard]
Sara Sidle: Crusty white stains, pale blue under ALS.
Wendy Simms: Semen, huh? What made you check under the keys?
Sara Sidle: A butt print
[models with her hands]
Sara Sidle: on the credenza.
Wendy Simms: Yeah, okay, that's gross.
Sara Sidle: CDC contacted us because the whole office has a herpes simplex one outbreak, and nobody could figure out why. I guess you never really know what's going on in your office.

Wendy Simms: Hey Sara, is it true that the miniature cases have been keeping Grissom up at night?
Sara Sidle: [defensive] How would I know?
Wendy Simms: I just thought that maybe you guys all talk about it, and Hodges told me that Grissom confided in him and you know what, never mind, just forget I even asked.
Sara Sidle: Well, listen, I don't know what Hodges has been telling you but do you really think that Grissom would confide in him, about anything?
Wendy Simms: No, of course not.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Swap Meet (#5.5)" (2004)

Zack Capola: You know how it is, you look like you were a jock in college.
Greg Sanders: [points to himself shocked] Me?
Sara Sidle: [points to Greg shocked] Him?

Sara Sidle: Arrive as a couple, leave as a couple.
Gil Grissom: No photos, no video.
Sara Sidle: No affairs.
Gil Grissom: And the kids must never know.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Spark of Life (#5.18)" (2005)

[first lines]
Chief Rick Dysart: Local homeowner called it in early. We got it contained pretty quick. We were lucky.
Gil Grissom: [about charred body] Luckier than he was. Low humidity, dry brush. Perfect conditions for maximum damage.
Chief Rick Dysart: Firebugs listen to the weather reports just like we do. Only for different reasons.
Sara Sidle: Maybe some moron just threw a cigarette out the car window.
Chief Rick Dysart: You're an optimist.

Sara Sidle: I've got the business end of a disposable lighter. Could be an ignition source.
Gil Grissom: Hey. What's that?
Sara Sidle: Possible accelerant.
Gil Grissom: Or possible Martini.
Sara Sidle: I didn't think you could smell vodka.
Gil Grissom: Well, that depends on how long it was distilled.
Sara Sidle: Cheap stuff.
Gil Grissom: Ironically, the word for "vodka" comes from the Russian phrase "zhiznennaya voda" - "water of life".

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pledging Mr. Johnson (#1.4)" (2000)

Sara Sidle: What's that smell?
Nick Stokes: I'm nuking a burrito.
Sara Sidle: Mmm. Junk food and radiation. Good combo.

Sara Sidle: [walking in on Warrick and Nick changing]
[to Warrick]
Sara Sidle: Fine suit.
Sara Sidle: [to Nick without any shirt on] And, well, just fine.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Burden of Proof (#2.15)" (2002)

[Cath comes back from a body farm]
Sara Sidle: Wow, you got to go to the body farm? I've always wanted to go there! What was it like?
Catherine Willows: Quiet.

Gil Grissom: So, take some photos of the experiment for the D.A. and then, uh, get rid of that stuff.
Sara Sidle: That meat? The raw meat? Me?
Gil Grissom: Yeah.
Sara Sidle: How many meals have we shared together?
Gil Grissom: I don't know.
Sara Sidle: Take a guess. Over a year working together.
Gil Grissom: ...Thirty?
Sara Sidle: I'm a vegetarian, everyone here knows I'm a vegetarian. I haven't eaten meat since we stayed up that night with that dead pig. It pains me to see ground beef. Forget about cleaning it up.
Gil Grissom: Okay... have Nick do it.
[leaves]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Getting Off (#4.16)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: [Grissom gave her a strange look] What?
Gil Grissom: I haven’t seen you in a while, have I?
Sara Sidle: You see me every day.
[smiles and walks away]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Time of Your Death (#6.22)" (2006)

Sara Sidle: Please tell me there's something more to this 'guys and cars' thing besides the obvious penis extension metaphors.
Greg Sanders: So you want me to lie.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No Humans Involved (#5.10)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: Go with the living, Jim. The dead can wait.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Go to Hell (#8.3)" (2007)

Sara Sidle: [to the new CSI, Ronnie] You know what, that question, I will answer. We're not here to protect anyone, Ronnie - not even the cops. We're here to figure out what happened. If you can't do that, you should get a different job.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Unusual Suspect (#6.18)" (2006)

Hannah West: When's the last time you had to sit down to be eye level with a murder suspect who is standing up?
Sara Sidle: Hannah, you are smart.
Hannah West: So I've been told.
Sara Sidle: But you are not smart enough to get away with murder.
Hannah West: I think I am. A lot of people are smart enough to get away with murder. You probably are too. But you have to be really smart to make people think things happened... that never did.
Sara Sidle: What do you mean... exactly?
Hannah West: Please don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine.
[leans in]
Hannah West: [whispering] I didn't kill Stacy. Marlon did.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Abra Cadaver (#3.5)" (2002)

Sara Sidle: You didn't beep me for a magic trick.
Greg Sanders: Swami doesn't do magic tricks, Swami is here to reveal all your DNA secrets
Sara Sidle: I'm very busy Greg.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Kiss Kiss, Bye Bye (#6.13)" (2006)

Gil Grissom: [after finding Hodges coloring his grey hair with a sharpie marker] Vainity, thy name is Hodges.
Hodges: This isn't what it looks like. I actually like my grey hair, the few that I have.
Sara Sidle: Hodges, don’t you know that grey hair can be very attractive.
[Grissom looks at her]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Turn of the Screws (#4.21)" (2004)

Greg Sanders: I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...
Sara Sidle: Semen? Sex on the roller coaster?
Greg Sanders: Or some kid shaking with shorty.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: I-15 Murders (#1.11)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: I never said you weren't a good CSI.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pirates of the Third Reich (#6.15)" (2006)

Wendy Simms: ...and, the eye ball belonged to a Jack Landers, who - is a convicted sex offender.
Sara Sidle: Would sticking your eye ball into a woman's eye socket constitute as sex offence?
Wendy Simms: Well, rape is legally defined as putting an unwanted foreign object into a genital opening - so, sexual? No.
Sara Sidle: But... offensive - yeah.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Coming of Rage (#4.10)" (2003)

Sara Sidle: I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you're tried as an adult.
Ashley Curtwell: Good luck. I dress up real nice. Couple barrettes, little lace collar, two dead parents. I'll be the saddest little girl in the world.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: I Like to Watch (#6.17)" (2006)

Sara Sidle: [walks in to see Hodges looking at the mirror and fixing his hair] Hey there, Gorgeous.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: To Halve and to Hold (#1.14)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: Do you think we're dressed for a wedding?
Warrick Brown: Not my wedding.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Snuff (#3.8)" (2002)

Sara Sidle: Why are you throwing phone books?
Warrick Brown: Because a beaker gets glass all over the place.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Lust (#3.9)" (2002)

Gil Grissom: [to Warrick] What do you weigh?
Warrick Brown: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick Brown: A buck 95, give or take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara Sidle: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil Grissom: Warrick, would you lie down on the floor.
Warrick Brown: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil Grissom: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lady Heather's Box (#3.15)" (2003)

Gil Grissom: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara Sidle: Is this a dance club or a sex club?
Warrick Brown: A little of both. Don't you love this town?
Sara Sidle: Whatever you say, Superfly.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bad Words (#4.19)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: It's always encouraging when public bathrooms are out of soap.
[later]
Sara Sidle: Asphyxiated and head bashed in. No soap was the least of his problems.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unfriendly Skies (#1.9)" (2000)

Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good... Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: Would you hand me a swab please?
Sara Sidle: You're avoiding the question. Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: A magazine.
Sara Sidle: What magazine?
Gil Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara Sidle: Never heard of it.
Gil Grissom: I'll get you a subscription.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 1 (#5.24)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: Ether? That's old school.
Warrick Brown: Yeah, stuff is volatile, flammable. Outside of meth cooks, no one uses it anymore.
Gil Grissom: People use what they know.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Double Cross (#7.5)" (2006)

Sara Sidle: Sometimes I think we made up God just to have someone to blame for our mistakes.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: One Hit Wonder (#3.14)" (2003)

Gil Grissom: Sometimes the best intentions are fraught with disappointments.
Sara Sidle: Emmerson?
Gil Grissom: Grissom.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Drops (#1.7)" (2000)

Catherine Willows: How's the little girl?
Sara Sidle: Uh, well, the *shrink* said she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. *I* could have told you that. Oh, but she *did* respond to the name Buffalo.
Gil Grissom: Respond how?
Sara Sidle: She freaked out.
Gil Grissom: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara Sidle: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unbearable (#5.14)" (2005)

Greg Sanders: If you've added up every cent I've made in my entire life, I still wouldn't be able to afford half this car... It's art. And I'd have every girl in the neighborhood after me.
Sofia Curtis: Not when they saw your apartment.
Sara Sidle: You've been to Greg's apartment?
Sofia Curtis: Who hasn't?

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Too Tough to Die (#1.16)" (2001)

[Grissom tells her not to make her cases personal]
Sara Sidle: I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cats in the Cradle... (#2.20)" (2002)

Nick Stokes: Hey.
Sara Sidle: [lively] Hey.
Nick Stokes: Wow, you look...
Sara Sidle: Happy?
Nick Stokes: Smug, acually.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 2 (#5.25)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: The CSI is still missing. Do you know where he is?
Kelly Gordon: That's pretty funny: You guys not being able to find something.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: What's Eating Gilbert Grissom? (#5.6)" (2004)

Catherine Willows: Come on, Sara. This can't wait.
Sara Sidle: It can't or you can't?
Catherine Willows: Both
[Sara sighes and gets up]
Catherine Willows: Get a up of coffee on me.
Sara Sidle: you know the coffee is free.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Scuba Doobie-Doo (#2.5)" (2001)

[Sara walks out to find Grissom pacing furiously]
Gil Grissom: Ninety-five.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Gil Grissom: Normally my pulse is seventy, when it gets to ninety-five, I realize just how mad I am. I have ten people working around the clock on this!
Sara Sidle: You're too hard on yourself.
Gil Grissom: No, I'm not mad at *me*. There's a body in there and that guy knows where it is.
Sara Sidle: So what's your pulse at now?

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Slaves of Las Vegas (#2.8)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: Um, Miss Delgado, I know you're upset...
Carla Delgado: Upset? Upset is for white people, lady. I'm pissed off!

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Anonymous (#1.8)" (2000)

Sara Sidle: Cyrus, next time someone says experimenting with drugs is harmless, remind me of this.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: After the Show (#4.8)" (2003)

Catherine Willows: Your father ever tell you you were pretty?
Sara Sidle: I guess.
Catherine Willows: Did he ever tell you you were smart?
Sara Sidle: Yeah.
Catherine Willows: So it probably never occurred to you that you wouldn't be successful. If all you ever hear is that you're gorgeous, you can let everything fall away and leave you in a very dangerous place.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Justice Is Served (#1.21)" (2001)

[Catherine and Sara have just seized a carnival as evidence and Sara is grinning madly]
Catherine Willows: [Annoyed] What?
Sara Sidle: Well, this is fun.
Catherine Willows: As opposed to...?
Sara Sidle: A more scientific approach.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fannysmackin' (#7.4)" (2006)

Greg Sanders: [weakly] Sara
Sara Sidle: I didn't think you could see me.
Greg Sanders: I can't. I know that Sidle scent.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: A Bullet Runs Through It, Part 2 (#6.8)" (2005)

Sophia Curtis: If I can't talk to one of my good friends, who can I talk to? My mother? Oh, I forgot, she's a cop too!
Sara Sidle: [snippily] I can recommend the department psychologist.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - Hard Evidence (2007) (VG)

Sara Sidle: [after player asks for her help] Hey my shifts is over. I'm just here to watch you guys work.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)

Sara Sidle: Project Sunflower promotes itself as doing God's work.
Catherine Willows: I knew a stripper who claimed the exact same thing.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: XX (#4.17)" (2004)

Hodges: [after Sara has just completed an explanation on a bug] Since when did you become an insects expert?
Sara Sidle: Entymology textbook. Grissom gave it to me last Christmas. When I can't sleep, I read.
Nick Stokes: [smirking] Funny, I didn't get a Christmas gift from Grissom...
[turns to Hodges]
Nick Stokes: Did you...?
Hodges: [also smirking] No...
[Sara gives them both a weird look]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Early Rollout (#4.15)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: I'm a slow sucker.
[responding to Nick's remark on her seemingly long-lasting cough drop]

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fight Night (#3.7)" (2002)

[while processing the boxing ring, Sara comes across the spit bucket filled with blood and saliva; she turns to Warrick with a tight smile on her face]
Warrick Brown: What's so funny?
Sara Sidle: Smiling suppresses the gag reflex.
Warrick Brown: This is coming from the same woman who processed fecal fat from a ruptured colon.
Sara Sidle: Every crim has a problem area. Mine is saliva.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Compulsion (#5.17)" (2005)

Gil Grissom: Maybe he's back in the game again, selling coke to out-of-town businessmen from the comfort and security of his hotel room.
Sara Sidle: So, he takes a break from his job, rapes and kills the vic at another hotel, and then goes back to work?
Gil Grissom: Even cokeheads need a diversion now and then.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ellie (#2.10)" (2001)

Sara Sidle: [Warrick is acting supervisor] I ran with the case. I do it with Grissom all the time.
Warrick Brown: Well, I'm not Grissom!

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No More Bets (#4.22)" (2004)

Sara Sidle: A fake ID is for scamming a casino. A baller puts his real name on a roley.
[Grissom turns and gives Sara a look, surprised by what he just heard. She shrugs it off and waves the papers in her hand toward Warrick]
Sara Sidle: What? He rubs off.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Crash and Burn (#3.17)" (2003)

[about a case involving an elderly woman who crashed into a restaurant]
Sara Sidle: What do you have, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, maybe she had the munchies. Tox screen came back. Mrs. Lambert tested positive for cannibus sativa.
Sara Sidle: Grass?
Greg Sanders: "Grass?" So seventies, man! Sticky green, dank, chronic, cush, happy stick, wacky tobaccy.
Sara Sidle: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Grandma was high?
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Sara Sidle: Grandma was high?
Greg Sanders: As a kite.