Aiden Burn
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Quotes for
Aiden Burn (Character)
from "CSI: NY" (2004)

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"CSI: NY: Tri-Borough (#1.11)" (2005)
[Aiden is going over a list of chemicals relating to the case]
Aiden Burn: ...Benzosothyazolonal.
Det. Don Flack: Whoa, Benzosothyazolonal?
Aiden Burn: You know what that is?
[pause]
Det. Don Flack: No.

Aiden Burn: [figures out that a frozen chunk of human excrement had fallen from the sky and killed the victim] Holy crap!

Aiden Burn: Anybody see anything?
Det. Don Flack: When does anybody ever see anything?

Aiden Burn: So, mass spec went crazy with this odor that we found from our head wound vic. I've got words here longer than DiMaggio's hit streak.

Aiden Burn: [searching a port-a-potty for evidence] Oh, God, this is bad! What do you guys do in here?
Det. Don Flack: I don't go in public.


"CSI: NY: Officer Blue (#1.9)" (2004)
Detective Aiden Burn: [to Detective Thacker] Do me a favor. Don't check out my ass when a kid's dead in the street. Show some respect.

Nick Vicenzo: How you doin'? Officer Burn, may I help you?
Detective Aiden Burn: Yeah, you can help me by taking two steps back.
Nick Vicenzo: What are you, a cop?
Detective Aiden Burn: Crime scene.
Nick Vicenzo: Oh, you're those guys with the little blue lights, right?
Detective Aiden Burn: It's called an ALS.
Nick Vicenzo: I don't care what it's called.
Detective Aiden Burn: [reaching for her weapon] Sir, take caution in your tone.
Nick Vicenzo: Yeah, here the thing... Why don't you take your microscope and go down the street? Shop's closed now.

Detective Aiden Burn: Mr. Vicenzo, we're closing your little sports book pizzeria. In case you didn't know, betting sports is illegal in New York City, so tell all your pizza lovers to go to A.C. if they want some action.
Nick Vicenzo: [sarcastic] I'll be sure to do that.
Detective Aiden Burn: I pulled two sets of prints from the oven bar at your pizzeria. They came back to your pizza girl and you. What do you have to say about that, Nick?
Nick Vicenzo: It's my joint. Must've been when I heated up those slices for lunch.
Detective Aiden Burn: Right. Well, according to the preliminary autopsy report, Lenny Starks suffered moderate head trauma. You slammed Lenny Starks' head with the oven door. Lenny walked three blocks and later was stabbed to death. By you.
Nick Vicenzo: Whoa. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Stabbed? Me? Yeah, I gave Lenny a little lesson in paying up, but I didn't stab him. I knocked some sense into the kid.
[flashback]
Nick Vicenzo: You owe me ten g's.
Lenny Starks: Nick, I'll get it.
Nick Vicenzo: What am I gonna do with this, wipe my nose? Open the oven. Open it! You little degenerate. How do you like that?
[back to present]
Nick Vicenzo: That's it. He left on his own two feet.
Detective Aiden Burn: You know what one of the greatest rules is of an investigator? We can lie to suspects, legally. There never was a stabbing. According to the autopsy report, Lenny Starks died from an epidural hematoma in the posterior fossa region. That's behind the ear, in case you didn't know. And you're right, that kid did leave on his own two feet. Three blocks later, he died on 'em. That kid experienced delayed deterioration. Like a boxer who took too many blows. You killed him. And now it's your turn to go down the street. Investigation's closed.


"CSI: NY: Supply & Demand (#1.20)" (2005)
Detective Aiden Burn: Give me your hands.
Shaun Deroy: What's the magic word?
Detective Aiden Burn: Hands!
Shaun Deroy: I wonder how much damage I could do in the two seconds it would take that guard to get in here.
Detective Aiden Burn: Palms up!
Shaun Deroy: I believe I asked you a question.
Detective Aiden Burn: And I'm tellin' you to step back!
Shaun Deroy: Why don't you make...
[Aiden tasers him]
Shaun Deroy: [Screams] I can't feel my ribs!
Detective Aiden Burn: Oh, you will, and it's gonna hurt like a bastard!

Detective Mac Taylor: What do you have on those "King Lear" tickets?
Detective Aiden Burn: Ran the DNA on the blood on the top ticket. It belonged to the victim.
Detective Mac Taylor: Prints?
Detective Aiden Burn: Two usable. The victim and an unknown, not in AFIS. But there is something odd that you don't need a microscope to see.
Detective Mac Taylor: What's that?
Detective Aiden Burn: [spreading the tickets out] Two tickets are missing. G-13, G-14.
Detective Mac Taylor: [checking his watch] It's matinee day. Show's going on right now.
Detective Aiden Burn: Kill someone, scam his tickets? Kind of brazen, isn't it?
Detective Mac Taylor: I've seen stupider.

Detective Mac Taylor: What was the substance on Deroy's hands and clothes?
Detective Aiden Burn: Superglue. You know of a use for superglue in the drug world?
Detective Mac Taylor: Not offhand. How about DNA?
Detective Aiden Burn: Not Will's. Some unknown female.
Detective Mac Taylor: Compare it to a DNA sample of Jordan Benson's.
Detective Aiden Burn: You think Deroy assaulted Will's roommate?
Detective Mac Taylor: Yes. We're now focusing on Jordan as the source of the heroin, not Will Novick. We know Jordan was uptown during the home invasion, and the purse appears to have been physically wrested from its owner. If Deroy and his partner got the purse from her first, that's probably how they got her Village address.
Detective Aiden Burn: Poor Will was collateral damage.
Detective Mac Taylor: Process that purse. Look for traces of heroin, contents that gives us a timeline, links to Deroy. Anything and everything.
Detective Aiden Burn: You'll get a novel out of it.


"CSI: NY: Creatures of the Night (#1.2)" (2004)
Aiden Burn: NYPD. Crime Scene Investigators.
Shop-keeper: You people deal with rats?
Aiden Burn: Only when they have eaten our evidence.

[searching for the rat that ate their evidence]
Detective Mac Taylor: They're creatures of habit, Aiden. They usually stay within sixty-five feet of their nests. Rats tend to hug the walls and travel the same path back to home. This alley, all this food and garbage, is a four-star cruise to the Bahamas for them.
Aiden Burn: I take it there were a lot of rats in Chicago?
Detective Mac Taylor: [smiling] It's too windy.

[extracting their bullet from a dead rat]
Aiden Burn: Couldn't we get Dr. Hawkes to do this?
Detective Mac Taylor: Sheldon draws the line at rodents.


"CSI: NY: Hush (#1.16)" (2005)
Danny Messer: [finding a hair in a BDSM machine] Get that to Jane Parsons in DNA.
Aiden Burn: All right.
Danny Messer: [cracking a riding crop] Now!

[a crime scene where nude victim was pinned against tree by a car]
Aiden Burn: Maybe vehicular manslaughter followed by rape?

Danny Messer: The latex this body suit's made of holds prints like a sponge holds water. If you take the bottom, I'll take the top.
Aiden Burn: No, I like being on top.
Danny Messer: You're getting all freaky on me because we drew a bondage case?
Aiden Burn: You wish.


"CSI: NY: Grand Master (#1.4)" (2004)
Aiden Burn: I'm on the toilet! Can you come here?

Aiden Burn: [Aiden is explaining the term "grand master" to Mac] Yeah, like a deejay legend: Grand Master Flash or a Jam Master Jay. They paved the way for guys like 'Dre and Cube, Eminem and Jermaine Dupri. You like music like that?
Detective Mac Taylor: I prefer Crunk myself.


"CSI: NY: The Fall (#1.17)" (2005)
[investigating a crime scene above a canopy]
Detective Aiden Burn: Well, too bad birds can't talk, because there's a robin's nest like 12 feet away.
Detective Danny Messer: Bird's eye view.
Detective Aiden Burn: [laughing] You had to say it, right?
Detective Danny Messer: What're ya gonna do?

Detective Danny Messer: Most feared man in New York dies from fear of his own wife.
Detective Aiden Burn: And she was the only one that loved him.


"CSI: NY: A Man a Mile (#1.5)" (2004)
[at private Chase School for Girls, which the victim attended]
Melissa Wesley: When you go to a school like this...
Detective Aiden Burn: I went to a school like this.
[later, after the students leave]
Detective Stella Bonasera: Last time I checked, you didn't go to a school like this.
Detective Aiden Burn: Cuts through a whole layer of attitude if they think you're one of them.

Detective Stella Bonasera: Your sister ever bring Hannah here?
Matt Paulson: No. She was underage.
Detective Aiden Burn: That'd make you the first club owner in the history of New York City who didn't stock his place with teenage girls.


"CSI: NY: Tanglewood (#1.13)" (2005)
Aiden Burn: [at a massage parlor/"rub a tug" establishment] Come on! Act like you haven't been to a place like this before.
Danny Messer: You kidding me? I got girlfriends for that, why would I pay?
Aiden Burn: Yeah, all right. You're payin' one way or the other, trust me.

[Detectives Messer and Burn question man whose semen was found on towel at a massage parlor]
Ross Lee: Why would I go there? I'm a happily married man. And my back is fine.
Aiden Burn: It's your front we're interested in.


"CSI: NY: Three Generations Are Enough (#1.8)" (2004)
Det. Mac Taylor: Somebody went to a lot of trouble to file those serial numbers off.
Aiden Burn: And I went to a lot of trouble to acid etch them back on.

Det. Mac Taylor: You upload the print into AFIS?
Aiden Burn: Yeah, but he's not in AFIS, he's in NY Merc. Prints belong to Luke Sutton, commodities trader. According to the entrance log, he walked through the front door at 7:00 am.
Det. Mac Taylor: We know when he left?
Aiden Burn: You don't have to swipe your ID to get out. NY Merc searched the entire building and taken a head count outside. He's the one person they can't account for.
Det. Mac Taylor: Our people on it?
Aiden Burn: 19th precinct sector car looked through his apartment window. Place is trashed.
Det. Mac Taylor: Something happened. And it wasn't good.


"CSI: NY: The Dove Commission (#1.18)" (2005)
Aiden Burn: [upon seeing a well-endowed stripper] Holy boob job, Batman!

Danny Messer: How's our gypsy cab driver, doc? You bring him back to life so he can just tell us who killed him?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: I haven't attended that seminar yet. But... his fingernails are doing an awful lot of talking.
Aiden Burn: Is that blood?
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah. This guy put up one hell of a fight.


"CSI: NY: The Closer (#1.22)" (2005)
[in parking garage of Yankee baseball stadium]
Aiden Burn: [looking at victim's driver's license] Name's Gilbert Novotny... Brookline, Massachusetts
Detective Stella Bonasera: A Boston fan in the Bronx. That's brave.
Detective Danny Messer: Or stupid. Very stupid. Boston's tough. New York better get it together.

Aiden Burn: How does a potential shortstop become a crime scene investigator?
Detective Danny Messer: That's real easy. Get into a fight, break your wrist, and then graduate from the police academy top of my class.


"CSI: NY: Blood, Sweat and Tears (#1.14)" (2005)
Aiden Burn: Who hitchhikes nude?


"CSI: NY: Til Death Do We Part (#1.15)" (2005)
Detective Don Flack: We found an abandoned car and a hand.
Detective Stella Bonasera: What do mean a hand?
Detective Don Flack: A hand. A right hand, to be exact. Below the wrist. All fingers intact.
Aiden Burn: You didn't find anything else?
Detective Don Flack: I haven't gone in yet.
Aiden Burn: What? Flack, you little scaredy cat. You don't believe these stories about this place being haunted?
Detective Don Flack: I was doing my job, Aiden. Getting statements from witnesses.
Aiden Burn: Stella, you smell that?
Detective Stella Bonasera: Yeah, chicken. Uh, but I did hear the one about the monk who went crazy and killed the others is true.
Detective Don Flack: The 122 gets call of strange noises coming from this place all the time.
Aiden Burn: Will you stop? That's just an urban legend.
Detective Stella Bonasera: Uh, Aiden, I think you'd better hold Flack's hand.
Detective Don Flack: [sarcastic] Yeah, okay. Cute.


"CSI: NY: Grand Murder at Central Station (#2.2)" (2005)
[Mac has shown Aiden an unsealed evidence packet]
Det. Mac Taylor: There are three things that I'll protect at any cost: the honor of this country, the safety of this city, and the integrity of this lab. As scientists, we have a great deal of power, the ability to assign guilt or innocence. But when we analyze a crime scene, we collect pieces of evidence, we make a promise to the people of this city. A promise to handle that evidence with respect, integrity, and good faith. When you broke the seal, you broke that promise.
Detective Aiden Burn: I didn't do it. I didn't plant the evidence. I wanted to. Man, I wanted to, but I couldn't go through with it. I knew I couldn't live with that.
Det. Mac Taylor: Is it that you couldn't live with it, or you couldn't compromise the integrity of this office?
Detective Aiden Burn: You know how much this place means to me, Mac. But that son of a bitch raped Regina twice, and he's gonna get away with it twice?
Det. Mac Taylor: And if the credibility of our findings is suspect, how many more do you think will walk? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Truth is, Aiden, I can't have someone like that working in this lab. You're fired.
Detective Aiden Burn: [handing over her badge] Truth is I can't do this anymore, Mac. I mean, I got to be honest with you. If somethin' like this ever happened again, I don't think I'd trust myself. And I'm sorry I let you down. Just do me a favor, huh? Catch this guy for Regina.
Det. Mac Taylor: I will. This folder... will be right here on my desk till we get him.


"CSI: NY: Rain (#1.7)" (2004)
Danny Messer: Did ya know, six months ago, this place was a shoe store? And they just come in and turn it into a bank?
Aiden Burn: These days anybody can be a banker.
Danny Messer: [looking at hole cut in bank vault wall] Yeah, but you'd think they'd consider some kind of security. I mean, even double-thick steel. What is this, stainless steel sheeting? I got this stuff on the front of my dishwasher.


"CSI: NY: Night, Mother (#1.10)" (2004)
[examining a murder victim at the crime scene]
Aiden Burn: His pockets are inside out, and there's no wallet, no keys. Robbery.
Danny Messer: [shining his flashlight at some coins on the ground] Those take the junkies out of play. They would have taken the change.


"CSI: NY: What You See Is What You See (#1.23)" (2005)
Detective Don Flack: So what you need is extensive road testing. Say, I take each one up the Taconic and back?
Aiden Burn: No. I need tire impressions from a 180 spinout. In order to match the bikes, you need to match the tires.
Detective Don Flack: What about just the Harley? Maybe I take that for the weekend?
Aiden Burn: It's all about the tires, Flack. Not the bikes.
Detective Don Flack: Speak for yourself.


"CSI: NY: Crime and Misdemeanor (#1.19)" (2005)
Danny Messer: [seeing Aiden dressed to go out] Whoa, check you out. You're lucky you and I work together, you know that?
Aiden Burn: Keep dreaming, Messer. I mean, you're cute, but I'm way out of your league.