Nick Persons
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Quotes for
Nick Persons (Character)
from Are We There Yet? (2005)

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Are We Done Yet? (2007)
[repeated line]
Nick Persons: I can fix that.

Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: You've got dry rot.
Nick Persons: Dry what?

Nick Persons: Hey, there little buddy. I could use a...

Nick Persons: Hey man, I'm right here.

Nick Persons: I got it. Did I get him?
Lindsey Persons, Kevin Persons: No.

Nick Persons: You need to get some fresh air and a few open spaces.
Suzanne Persons: I think I'm gonna be sick right now.

Nick Persons: Pregnant lady coming through.

Nick Persons: I can do the fixing.

Nick Persons: We'll take it.

Nick Persons: You're the local real estate guy.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: I'm also the local contractor.

Nick Persons: It's you and me, there's nothing to be scared of. But that.

Suzanne Persons: Honey, what was that?
Nick Persons: A raccoon.

Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: I must warn you, Nick, I am fluent in the karate.
Nick Persons: I don't know karate, but I know ca-razy!

Are We There Yet? (2005)
Nick Persons: [on a horse next to a moving train] I'm gonna have to hop on!
Kevin Kingston: I don't think that's a good idea!
Nick Persons: Says who?
Kevin Kingston: Says the guy who put all that junk on the road!
Nick Persons: Oh snap!

Nick Persons: Come on, you're driving like a old lady.
Ernst: No, no, you watch. Ernst knows how to drive.

Nick Persons: Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons: Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car!
Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.

Kevin Kingston: Do you have any Justin Timberlake or Clay Aiken?
Nick Persons: [looks up at the sky] Lord, these kids are ethnically challenged. You know you could get shot by playing those CDs in my old neighborhood.
Kevin Kingston: We're not ghetto!

[Nick's car is burning up]
Nick Persons: Oh man! I never even got to read the manual!

Nick Persons: [wanting new tires] Look, I'll pay you extra. See? Yao Ming! Rookie card.
Car Mechanic: Oh, I see. You think because I am Chinese that you can get me to do anythi - OOOO! Hologram!

Nick Persons: Kiss my 330 cubic inches of V8 power, sucker!

[a pair of young shoplifters enter the store, one of them walks up to the counter where Nick awaits]
Shoplifter: Hey, Mister, you got any 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'?
Nick Persons: What you think?
Shoplifter: You got any Dragonball GT?
Nick Persons: [furiously] Look. You come in here every day, askin' the same questions. We ain't got no Pokemon, no Digimon, no Buffy, no SpongeBob, no Beanie Babies...
[sees the other shoplifter trying to take a rare baseball card]
Nick Persons: And no shoplifters!
[he chucks a football at the shoplifter, who drops the card, then leaves with his partner]
Nick Persons: Now, get! BOTH OF Y'ALL! GET!'!'!

Nick Persons: What is wrong with you kids?

"Are We There Yet?: The Mother's Day Episode (#2.33)" (2011)
Nick Persons: What have I been telling you for the last 3 days?
Kevin Kingston: Well, if you don't know, how am I supposed to know?