Sergeant Howie
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Quotes for
Sergeant Howie (Character)
from The Wicker Man (1973)

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The Wicker Man (2006)
Edward Malus: [runs over to help Rowan and pulls off the mask of his bear costume] My name is Edward. I'm gonna save you.


Edward Malus: [a bee helmet has been placed onto his head and bees are being poured inside] OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!

Edward Malus: You little liars. Rowan Woodward IS your classmate, isn't she? ISN'T SHE? That is HER desk! And you're the biggest liar of them all. I am warning you, you tell me another and I'll arrest you myself. That is a promise, MISS...
Sister Rose: Rose, SISTER Rose.
Edward Malus: Of course, another plant! Rose!


Edward Malus: Have you seen what she's drawn? Under her desk? It's... pretty disturbing.

Edward Malus: [a cracking sound is heard] Ahhh, my legs!

Edward Malus: [holding Rowan's doll] Is this hers? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?
Sister Willow: I-DON'T-KNOW!

Edward Malus: [Pointing gun at Rose] Step away from the bike!

Sister Summersisle: They nearly had you.
Edward Malus: Excuse me?
Sister Summersisle: Our little friends, the bees. They almost did you in.
Edward Malus: Yeah.
Sister Summersisle: Pity.

Edward Malus: What happened to her?
Sister Rose: She'll burn to death.
Edward Malus: Excuse me, what did you say?
Sister Rose: Precisely what I meant to say: "She burned to death."

Sister Rose: And Daisy, will you tell us what man represents in his purest form?
Sister Rose: Yes?
Chorus of schoolgirls: [whole classroom raises hand] Phallic symbol! Phallic symbol!
Edward Malus: [laughs awkwardly]

Edward Malus: Okay, look, how 'bout you take all of us there?
Sea Plane Pilot: What do you mean "all"?
Edward Malus: [pulling bills from his wallet] Well, me, Mister Grant here, and his twin brother Ulysses.

Edward Malus: [Waking up from the second dream in a row] Goddamn it!

Village Sister: You wait a minute! Do you have permission to charge in and disturb...
Edward Malus: No! I don't need anybody's goddamn permission! I'm gonna search every inch of this town and anybody who interferes will be brought up on murder charges, got that? You have my permission to stay out of the fucking way!

Edward Malus: Are you the barmaiden, or barkeep, or whatever you call it around here?
Sister Beech: I am Sister Beech, yes.

Edward Malus: Maybe you could stop bullshitting me, especially when a little girl's life is at stake - MY little girl, as you may have guessed!
Sister Summersisle: As a matter of fact, yes.

Edward Malus: [seeing some of the women holding a bloody bag] What's in the bag? A shark, or something?

Edward Malus: [showing his badge to a classroom of young girls] I'm a policeman... see my badge?

Edward Malus: [to the girl in his bear suit] DON'T BE FRIGHTENED! I'm here to help!

Edward Malus: Whose desk is this?
[he opens up the desk and a raven suddenly flies out]
Edward Malus: WHAT...?
School Girl #1: We trapped the little ol' bird inside to see how long he can stand it.
Edward Malus: [to Sister Rose] Now why in the hell would you let them do a sick thing like that?

Edward Malus: Do you know her?
[holds up picture of Rowan]
Sister Oak: Hm. I don't recognize this child. Do you, Violet?
Sister Violet: No, can't say I do.
Edward Malus: Just a tip there, it often helps to actually glance at the photo.

Edward Malus: The name's Malus. Edward Malus. I'd just like a room and a meal. Can you swing it?

Edward Malus: [when first entering the bar] It must be ladies' night.

Edward Malus: Oh my God... Oh my God! OH MY GOD!

The Wicker Man (1973)
Sergeant Howie: And what of the TRUE God? Whose glory, churches and monasteries have been built on these islands for generations past? Now sir, what of him?
Lord Summerisle: He's dead. Can't complain, had his chance and in modern parlance, blew it.

May Morrison: Can I do anything for you, Sergeant?
Sergeant Howie: No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad!

Sergeant Howie: I believe in the life eternal, as promised to us by our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Lord Summerisle: That is good. For believing what you do, we confer upon you a rare gift, these days - a martyr's death.

Sergeant Howie: Your lordship seems strangely... unconcerned.
Lord Summerisle: Well I'm confident your suspicions are wrong, Sergeant. We don't commit murder here. We're a deeply religious people.
Sergeant Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no ministers, no priests... and children dancing naked!
Lord Summerisle: They do love their divinity lessons.
Sergeant Howie: [outraged] But they are... are *naked*!
Lord Summerisle: Naturally! It's much too dangerous to jump through the fire with your clothes on!

[outside, several young girls are dancing naked over a fire]
Lord Summerisle: Good afternoon, Sergeant Howie. I trust the sight of the young people refreshes you.
Sergeant Howie: No sir, it does NOT refresh me.

Sergeant Howie: [upon seeing the Wicker Man for the first time] O, God! O, Jesus Christ!

Sergeant Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires?
Lord Summerisle: Parthenogenesis.
Sergeant Howie: What?
Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual union.
Sergeant Howie: Oh, what is all this? I mean, you've got fake biology, fake religion... Sir, have these children never heard of Jesus?
Lord Summerisle: Himself the son of a virgin, impregnated, I believe, by a ghost...

Daisy Pringle: The little old beetle goes 'round and 'round. Always the same way, y'see, until it ends up right up tight to the nail. Poor old thing!
Sergeant Howie: 'Poor old thing'? Then why in God's name do you do it, girl?

[first lines]
Sergeant Howie: [yelling] Will you send a dinghy, please?

Sergeant Howie: Don't you see that killing me is not going to bring back your apples?

Sergeant Howie: You are despicable little liars!

Sergeant Howie: If the crops fail, Summerisle, next year your people will kill you on May Day.
Lord Summerisle: [Shaken] They will not fail!