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: This is Dopey, he don't talk none. Snow White
: You mean he can't talk? Happy
: He don't know, he never tried.
: I'd like to dance and tap my feet / But they won't keep in rhythm. / You see, I washed 'em both today / And I can't do nothin' with 'em.
: [raising his hand and pointing to the sink
] Hey, someone stole our dishes! Happy
: They ain't stole. They're hid in the cupboard. Bashful
: My cup's been washed. Sugar's gone. Happy
: Something's cooking. Smells good. Grumpy
: [shoving Happy and Dopey away
] Don't touch that, you fools! Might be poison.
[the kettle spews steam at the three of them and the lid rattles
: See? It's witch's brew.
: [to the Seven Dwarfs
] Please don't send me away. If you do, she'll kill me. Dwarfs
: Kill you? Happy
: Who will? Sneezy
: Yes, who? Snow White
: My stepmother, the queen. Dwarfs
: The Queen! Bashful
: She's wicked! Happy
: She's bad! Sneezy
: She's mighty mean! Grumpy
: She's an old witch! And I'm warnin' ya, if that queen finds her here, she'll swoop down and wreak her vengeance on us! Snow White
: But she doesn't know where I am. Grumpy
: She don't, eh? She knows everything. She's full of black magic! She can even make herself invisible. Pfft! Might be in this room right now!
: Once there was a princess. Doc
: Was this princess you? Snow White
: And she fell in love. Sneezy
: Was it hard to do? Snow White
: It was very easy/anyone could see/that the Prince was charming/the only one for me. Doc
: Was he strong and handsome? Sneezy
: Was he big and tall? Snow White
: There's nobody like him/anywhere at all. Bashful
: Did he say he loved ya? Happy
: Did he steal a kiss? Snow White
] He was so romantic/I could not resist.
: [the animals are trying to get their attention
] They ain't acting this way for nothing! Sleepy
] Maybe the old Queen's, uh, got Snow White. Dwarfs
: [In shock
] The Queen! Snow White! Grumpy
: The Queen will kill her! We, we gotta save her! Doc
: Yes! Yes! We, we gotta save her! Sneezy
: She'll kill her! Happy
: What'll we do? Doc
: Yeah, yes, wha-what'll we do? Grumpy
: [Takes charge
] Come on!
[leaps onto the back of the nearest deer and rides off
: Hold it! Stop! Why is everyone screaming? I am screaming on account of the lion! Grumpy
: I am screaming on account of the ghost! Sneezy
: I was screaming because you were. Sleepy
: I was screaming because Sneezy was. Doc
: I was screaming because Sleepy was.
: I was screaming because it looked like fun!
: [Upon seeing the haunted mansion
] Kinda homey. Grumpy
: There's somethin' wrong with you.
: Hello, my name is Sally. I sell sea shells at the sea shore. Would you like to buy some? Happy
: Well, Sally. Your seashells sure seem swell. Grumpy
: No. Sally
: Then perhaps you purchase a pickled pepper pie pecked by Peter Piper... Happy
: A pickled pepper pecked by Peter Piper... Grumpy
: No! Sally
: Fancy Franny's fried fish fries? Happy
: Fancy fatty free fry flee... Grumpy
: No! Lord Starchbottom
: What is taking so long? Happy
: Sally sells sweet shells and pickered pie for Fanny's fancy feel... Grumpy
: [Indicating Happy and Sally
] That's what taking so long! Lord Starchbottom
: Can't you just ask for directions to the mansion by the sea? Sally
: The mansion by the sea? That joint's haunted!
[the camera zooms into the mansion by the sea. When it cuts back, Sally is gone
: Thanks, Sal-
[He notices she's not there
: Where'd she go? Lord Starchbottom
: Forget about her. Come on.
: Make sure the safety rope is securely around you waists. I don't wanna lose anyone up there. It's gonna be treacherous. Happy
: Ooh, treacherous! Oh, that sounds dangerous! And exciting! Grumpy
: Does he have to be behind me?
: This is gonna take forever. Happy
: Oh no it won't. I'll sing us a climbing song to make the time go by quicker. Grumpy
: No, that's OK, you don't have...
[Happy plays a note on his harmonica; Grumpy groans
] Oh, uppity up, uppity up, up up up up uppity up... Harmonica solo!
[Plays his harmonica some more
: Does he have to be behind me?
: Not lovin' the tights. Happy
: They flatter your figure. Grumpy
: Don't even go there.
: [about the spaceship that crash-landed in front of their house
] I'm tellin' you it was real.
[He closes his eyes but notices that Happy is in his bed with him
: What are you doin' in there? Happy
: This is my bed.
[Grumpy yells and springs right out
: Grumpy: Why would some goon nab Doc and drag him all the way on top of Old Smokey? Happy
] On top of Old Smokey/ All covered with snow/ I lost my true sweetheart/ For a courtin' too slow.
: [Facepalms, then smacks Happy's guitar
] What are you doin'? This is no time for singin'! Happy
: I just can't help myself! When somebody matched a song, I gotta sing it! 'Specially when I get nervous...
[Grumpy just rolls his eyes
: You broke my mug! Snow White
: You're lucky it wasn't that mug you call a face!
: Why you always gotta be so grumpy? Grumpy
: Cause o' you? Happy
: Okay, then!
: [after drinking from the Fountain of Truth
] Happy and I... Happy
: [Covers Grumpy's mouth in time
] Keep it to yourself.
: [to Happy, regarding Bashful
] Let's break this to him nice and gentle-like, okay? Happy
: Sure thing.
[Loudly, to Bashful
: Hey, Bashful! You get to sing at the Jollypalooza tonight!
: You really got the nice and gentle thing down, don't you? Happy
: Thank you.
: You know I love Snow and Charming, but... Can I be honest? It's kinda nice not having them around. Leroy
: Happy... Sneezy
: No, really. It's only been five days, but it's the first five days with no killing. Doc
: No wraiths. Doc
: No giants stepping on my Miata. Sleepy
: It has been peaceful.
: How much is the toll? Salvatrolle
: Fifty bazooties. Sneezy
: Fifty bazooties? How are we gonna come up with fifty bazooties? Happy
: We could have a yard sale. Grumpy
: Oh yeah, like that worked. Happy
: [In flashback
] I sold the whole yard, Grumpy!
: [singing into a megaphone while the other dwarfs row a rowboat
] Paddle faster round the creek! Stroke! Stroke! Let's hope our boat don't spring a leak! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Grumpy
: [Gets up, grabs the megaphone and stuffs it over Happy's head
] Stop! Stop! Stop! Happy
: Hee hee! Someone needs a time out!
: All right, Grumpy, we're here. What happened? Grumpy
: So these two new cobblers were the Glooms in disguise. Queen Delightful
] I'll never shop there again. Grumpy
: But we beat-em at their own game. Happy
: You put the shoe on the other foot. Cobby
: That was Grumpy's plan. Happy
: Wouldn't wanna be in their shoes. Grumpy
: You got one more, don't you? Happy
: If the shoe fits, wear it. Grumpy
: Okay, are you done? Happy
: [sings and plays his guitar
] Shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe. Shoe-bi-di-bi-shoe. Bi-di-bi-shoe, shoe-bi-di-bi-shoe.
: By the way, ladies... I'm single!
: Maybe Marco should be helping with the power. He's the handyman. Leroy
: Geppetto? You think? I mean, I'm not sure hand-crafted Tuscan woodcarvings are really going to save the day. Granny Lucas
: Dr. Whale? Leroy
: He's a doctor, not an electrician! Mary Margaret Blanchard
: We don't need help. Leroy
: You think? I mean, I'm grumpy now. Imagine me in the morning without a coffee maker! Happy
: Or a computer, or stop lights, TV, DVD, CD, DVR, DVD... Mary Margaret Blanchard
: Stop saying letters! Look, I am not magic. I have had eight hours of sleep in the last week, I am breastfeeding, and I am exhausted! I don't need this! I may have cast a little curse, but I did not ask to maintain a metropolitan electrical grid. Oh, and get this: I'm starting to get why Regina was evil. It wasn't her! It was you! You have survived your entire lives without light bulbs! Buy a flashlight!
: Come on, Leroy, we're gonna miss happy hour. Happy
: Granny's running a two-for-one special on mead. Leroy
: Just 'cause it's called happy hour, Happy, don't mean you gotta be there.