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Quotes for
Mr. Pizzacoli (Character)
from Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

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Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)
Mr. Pizzacoli: [on delivering pizzas] A trained dolphin could do a better job than you two!
Jesse: Yeah, but then the pizzas would get all wet.

Jesse: Look, it's an elephant!
Mr. Pizzacoli: [turning around] What?
Jesse: It was just a mailman.

Chester: Look, a unicorn!
[Mr. Pizzacoli looks]
Mr. Pizzacoli: A unicorn?
Chester: Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.

Zoltan: You gotta activate the...
Space Nerds: Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam!
Jesse: What?
Mr. Pizzacoli: They said The Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam, YOU FOOL!
Chester: Hurry, activate it, dude!
[a small panel on the Transfunctioner reads "Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam"]
Chester: I think that's it, dude.
Jesse: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Mr. Pizzacoli: Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties.

Mr. Pizzacoli: [knocks on the door] Open up, you 2 slackers!
Jesse and Chester: [quietly] Mr. Pizzacoli!
Mr. Pizzacoli: You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers!
Jesse and Chester: [notice the undelivered pizzas around the house] Uh-oh.
Chester: It's open!
Jesse: OHHH!
[he hits Chester]

Mr. Pizzacoli: I know you've been embezzelin' my pizzas, and I will catch you eventually. And when I do, I swear ta God, you will neva deliver pizzas in this town again!