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Quotes for
Horace (Character)
from 101 Dalmatians (1961)

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101 Dalmatians (1996)
Horace: Did you hear that?
Jasper: What?
Horace: That noise.
Jasper: What noise?
Horace: That noise I just heard. Do you hear it?
Jasper: Oh yeah. Sounded like an complete burk asking me irritating questions. Oh, good, it's stopped now.

Cruella De Vil: Congratulations. You've just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Morons Olympics!
Horace: [mouthing hesitantly, then speaking out loud] Who won the gold?
Cruella De Vil: [screaming] Shut up! My business, my reputation, my life, has been ruined because you three incompetent twits let yourselves be outsmarted by a bunch of dumb animals! And you call yourselves men? Huh? I've seen more intelligent pieces of carpet!
[suddenly, they notice, too late, a skunk that promptly sprays them all; they all start screaming their heads off and pound against the police van walls]

Jasper: Now, there are two things you must not do with Skinner. One, do not look at the horrendous scar on his neck. Two, don't talk to him. Understand? Not a word.
Horace: Right.
[Skinner answers the door and looks at Horace]
Horace: Ahh! Look at the size of that scar! No bl - oody wonder you can't talk, mate!
Skinner: [Wheezing]
Jasper: [to Skinner] Excuse me just a minute, would you?
[closes the door and punches Horace]
Horace: [Horace falls down]

Horace: [still shivering after falling through the frozen pond] Turn on the heater on, will ya?
Jasper: No! Not with this thing acting the way she is; I don't want to risk losing power.
Horace: I can't stand the cold no more. I want heat!
[turns the heat on himself; the system shorts and the car catches on fire from the heater]
Horace: FIRE! Too hot! Too hot!

Horace: You know, this house is creepy. I'm starving hungry, and so far we haven't been paid one bloody quid.
Jasper: Oh, will you stop moaning?

Jasper: [Trying to start the van] You just had to let those puppies get away, didn't you? Never paying attention.
Horace: Well, where was you?
Jasper: Where was? I was not splashing about in the pond. You've infuriated the old bag, and if we don't get those puppies back it is quite literally our heads!
[trying to start the engine again]
Jasper: Oh, come on! Right, you better get out and check the tailpipe. We've got a condensation problem.
Horace: [threateningly] One of these days I'm gonna be full up of you!
Horace: [Gets out]
Jasper: [Makes a face at him; Horace walks around to the back of the van, squats down and peers into the exhaust pipe, while Jasper desperately tries again to start the engine] Oh, do come on!
[Taps the gas pedal. The exhaust pipe explodes sending a clogged pear and a lot of exhaust into Horace's face]
Jasper: There, ya see?

Horace: [Kipper awakens Horace] Did you hear that?
Jasper: What?
Horace: That noise!
Jasper: What noise?
Horace: That noise I just heard. Did you hear it?
Jasper: [Sarcastically] Oh yeah. Yeah, it sounds like an irritating Berk asking me so many irritating questions. Oh good it has stopped now.

Horace: [to Jasper] I'll be honest with you mate. This job is fast losing it's charm. The housing stinks, the food's lousy, the lavatory facilities are appalling and so far we haven't made as much as one quid.
Jasper: [Annoyed] Oh you will stop moaning? Look this time tomorrow night it's all over. We get our boodle, we'll be out of here before you can say dead puppies. Now go to sleep.

Horace: [Horace and Jasper turn themselves in and are sitting locked up in a police van] This is lovely.
Jasper: Isn't it? Nice and warm.
Horace: No animals neither.
[Horace hears a growl and looks round terrified and nudges Jasper. Skinner is also arrested and it is implied he was attacked by Kipper. He stares at them in a threating manner. Both Horace and Jasper nervously grin sheepishly]
Horace: .

101 Dalmatians (1961)
Jasper: I ain't gonna hurt ya.
Horace: But I thought we was gonna pop 'em off.
Jasper: Shh, shut up!

Horace: [Jasper is drinking] Hey, Jasper! Come on now, give us a swig. Just a short one?
Jasper: Now Horace, this hogwash ain't fit for a fancy gent like yourself. Besides, you'd get crumbs in it, ya cabbage head!
Horace: All right! Guzzle the whole works, and I hope it gives ya cobby wobbles, that's what!

[the pups run past Horace and Jasper while covered in soot]
Horace: Look, Jasper. Do you suppose they disguised themselves?
Jasper: [jokingly] Say now, Horace, that's just what they did! Dogs is always paintin' 'emselves black!
[bops Horace on his head]
Jasper: You idiot!

Horace: We're from the Gas Company.
Jasper: [elbows him] 'Lectric! 'Lectric!
Horace: Uh, Electric Company.

Cruella De Vil: I've got no time to argue. I tell you, it's got to be done tonight!
[Turns off television set]
Cruella De Vil: Do you understand? Tonight!
Horace: But they ain't big enough.
Jasper: You couldn't get half a dozen coats out of the whole kaboodle.
Seargent Tibs: [whispering] Coats? Dog skin coats?
Cruella De Vil: Then we'll settle for half a dozen!
[Jasper coughs]
Cruella De Vil: We can't wait! The police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight!
Horace: How're we gonna do it?
Cruella De Vil: Any way you like. Poison them. Drown them. Bash them in the head. You got any chloroform?
Jasper: Not a drop.
Horace: And no ether, either.
Jasper: Either!
[Hits Horace over the head with bottle]
Cruella De Vil: I don't care how you kill the little beasts, but do it, and do it now!
Jasper: Aw, please, miss. Have pity, will you? Can't we see the rest of the show first?
Horace: We want to see "What's My Crime?"
[Cruella takes Jasper's bottle causing him to cough and throws it into the fireplace, where it explodes; she slaps both of them in the face]
Cruella De Vil: Now listen, you idiots! I'll be back first thing in the morning. And the job better be done or I'll I'll I'll call the police! Do you understand?
[She slams the door behind her; a piece of plaster falls of the ceiling and on Horace's head]
Horace: I think she means it, Jasper.

[the dalmatians are hiding from Jasper and Horace under a bridge across a frozen creek]
Jasper: Aw, they gotta be around here somewhere.
Horace: Jasper, I've been thinking.
Jasper: Now, Horace!
Horace: But what if they went down the froze-up creek so as not to leave their tracks?
Jasper: Oh, Horace, you idiot! Dogs ain't that smart.

Cruella De Vil: [on the phone with Jasper] Jasper! Jasper, you idiot! How dare you call here?
Jasper: But we don't want no more of this here! We want our bootle! We'll settle for half!
Cruella De Vil: Not one shilling until the job is done! Understand?
Horace: Jasper! Jasper!
[shows newspaper]
Jasper: [to Cruella] But it's here in the blinkin' papers! Pictures and all!
Cruella De Vil: Hang the papers! It'll be forgotten tomorrow!
Horace: I don't like it, Jasper. I.
Jasper: [to Horace] Ahh, shut up, you idiot!
Cruella De Vil: [shouts] What?
Jasper: [to Cruella] Oh, no! Not you, Miss! I mean Horace, here!
Cruella De Vil: Why, you imbecile!

Horace: I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.
Jasper: Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of bootle.
Horace: Yes, but I've been thinking.
Jasper: You've been thinking? Now look here, Horace! I warned you about thinking! I've got the nog for this job, so let's get on with it!

Cruella De Vil: Well, any sign of them?
Jasper: Not so much as a blooming footprint. And we've been up and down every blicking road in the county.
Horace: We're froze stiff. We're giving up.
Cruella De Vil: Oh, no, you don't! We'll find the little mongrels if it takes till next Christmas. Now get going! And watch your driving, you imbeciles! Do you wanna get nabbed by the police?

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Oozy Does It/Barnboozled (#2.13)" (1997)
Cruella de Vil: I am simply sensational in my new commercial! Don't you agree?
Cruella de Vil: Of course, you do. I pay you to agree.
Horace: [to Jasper] She pays you?

Horace: You know? We'd be going a lot faster if we didn't have a flat tyre.
Jasper: Thanks for the tip, Einstein.

Horace: I thought alien mutants from other planets were green.
Jasper: Of course, they're green. Everybody knows that.
Horace: Then how come those are blue?

Cruella de Vil: My pool is ruined! And whoever heard of Cruella De Vil with blue and white hair? There ought to be a law against dumping gunk like this!
Jasper: There is.
Horace: But you told us to ignore it.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Shake, Rattle and Woof/Cadpig Behind Bars (#2.3)" (1997)
Jasper: It's time for Phase 2.
Horace: Is Phase 2 the second thing?
Jasper: This is hard for you, isn't it?
Horace: A little.

Jasper: Phase 3.
Horace: Now, is Phase 3 the first thing?
Jasper: Now, how can it be the first thing?
Horace: That's a toughie.

[first lines]
Cruella de Vil: There goes that crazy Randy again, recording those noise polluting pups.
Horace: Maybe not so crazy. Last year, three cats recorded an album of Christmas carols.
Jasper: That's right. They became instant stars.
Cruella de Vil: Stars? I've just had a brilliant idea to get the Dearly Farm.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Horace and Jasper's Big Career Move (#2.46)" (1998)
Horace: We're in a real pickle, Jasper; a real pickle.
Jasper: Gotta look on the bright side, Horace, this could be our chance to find a job where we'll actually get paid, with money.
Horace: There's bosses who pay money? Oh, come on, how dumb do you think I am?

Cruella de Vil: You are fired!
Horace: Do you mean fired till tomorrow or fired till Tuesday?
Jasper: She's kind of riled up this time; we better stay fired until Thursday.

Man: What types of jobs have you two had in the past?
Horace: Mostly unpaid.
Man: Unpaid?
Jasper: Uh... unafraid.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Bad to the Bone/Southern Fried Cruella (#1.5)" (1997)
Jasper: [singing] We've got a singing telegram for Nanny... Nanny... From her sister in a jam in a great big way.
Horace: [singing] Add a broken "B". I picked a fight, you see. I won the fight, but I broke my knee. Need your help. Love, Franny.
Nanny: Oh, awful! Just awful!
Jasper: Could've been worse. We also do strip-o-grams.
Nanny: I was talking about my sister!

Horace: Ah, so, are we working for the real fake you or the fake real you?
Cruella de Vil: Oh, you nitwits. I'm talking about the real fake real me. Oh, just fake it.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: No Train, No Gain (#1.8)" (1997)
Horace, Jasper: [singing] I've been working on the railroad / All the live-long day...
Jasper: [singing] I've been working on the railroad / Just to pass the time a... Hey!

Jasper: What do we do now, Ms. de Vil?
Cruella de Vil: Steal it.
Horace: But i-isn't that stealing?
Cruella de Vil: Nothing gets past you, does it?

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Tic Track Toe/Lucky All-Star (#2.2)" (1997)
Jasper Badun: Tear down the track?
Horace Badun: But you can't tear it down.
Jasper Badun: It's our livelihood.
Horace Badun: Yeah. It's where we lose all our money.

Horace Badun: Just give us one more chance.
Jasper Badun: To win our money back.
Horace Badun: Or lose it again.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Home Is Where the Bark Is (#1.1)" (1997)
Jasper Badun: Delivery for the Dearly's.
Horace Badun: And it's not from Cruella De Vil.
[Jasper bonks Horace on the head]
Horace Badun: I mean, it is from Cruella De Vil.
[Jasper bonks Horace on the head]
Horace Badun: I mean, I didn't say anything.

"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Market Mayhem/Lucky to Be Alone (#2.8)" (1997)
Horace: I think I got it now, Jasper..."Listen, this is a stick up! Fork over the money!"
Jasper: Too late for that, Horace. Try this..."Help! We're trapped in a store room!"
Horace: Help! We're stored in a trap room!
Jasper: Close.