Randy Pear
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Quotes for
Randy Pear (Character)
from Rat Race (2001)

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Rat Race (2001)
Bev Pear: Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
Randy Pear: All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
Bev Pear: A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
Randy Pear: Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.

Randy Pear: Jason, where did you get that?
Jason Pear: I found it under the seat.
Randy Pear: Give it to me. You can't play that.
Jason Pear: Why not?
Randy Pear: Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
Jason Pear: You're driving his car!
Randy Pear: Yes, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not getting his germs!

Enrico Pollini: Am I too late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin! Oh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! We're in it!

[Bikers are hitting the car that Randy stole from the Barbie museum]
Randy Pear: Are you insane? This is Hitler's car.

Randy Pear: I do not want to work at Home Depot!

Kimberly Pear: [Kimberly needs to go to the bathroom] Dad, I'm prairie dogging it!
Randy Pear: What the hell does that mean?
Jason Pear: You know, like when a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground.
Randy Pear: Oh.
[Five seconds later]
Bev Pear: Ugh!
Randy Pear: Ohh, god, I do not wanna picture that!

[Talking about Sinclair and his idea for them competing in the "race"]
Merrill: It's some sort of joke. It has to be.
Duane Cody: What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million?
Owen Templeton: Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy.
Vera Baker: Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: A *secret* publicity stunt?

[to the woman on the motorcycle driving next to him]
Randy Pear: Hi, I really like your dike... Bike.

Jason Pear: I can't believe it, Dad. You stole Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz.
Randy Pear: Well, Hitler had it comin'. What goes around comes around.
Kimberly Pear: Dad, they're gonna be pissed.
Randy Pear: Eh, they're always pissed, Honey. They're Nazis. It's like it's their job.

Randy Pear: I do not want to work at Home Depot!