Sergeant David 'Deacon' Kay
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Quotes for
Sergeant David 'Deacon' Kay (Character)
from "S.W.A.T." (1975)

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S.W.A.T. (2003)
Deke: We need to sell that shit on eBay.
Street: I only have one.
Deke: We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market. Break 'em down like a shotgun - The Polish Penetrator!

Hondo: The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.
Deke: So what if he's Polish?
Hondo: No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.

Hondo: You know what? I think he might be Polish.
Deke: Unbelievable.

Deke: Tell daddy how you want it.

[the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate]
Deke: Ain't this a bitch?
Street: A cold hard one.

[after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]
Hondo: Flip a bitch!
Deke: Flippin' a bitch!

Deke: [Deleted Scene: Locker Room] So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.
Boxer: They always are at first.
Deke: [Imitates his wife] "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?
McCabe: Laughs?
Boxer: Hangs up?
Deke: She laughs her ass off, AND hangs up.
McCabe: [as Boxer and TJ laugh] Bitch. Alright guys, take care.

Hondo: [Deke shoots a card] 10 of Spades. Spade flush.
Street: Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?
Hondo: Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!
Deke: Beats four Aces in Compton any day!

Neighbor in Alley: Y'all ain't got nothing better to do than to be haulin' off black people off to jail? Just perpetuatin' a cycle you know!
Deke: [putting the criminal in the police car] Let's see how liberal you are when he breaks into your place!
Neighbor in Alley: MMmm hm!
Deke: Mmm hm my ass!


"S.W.A.T.: Dealers in Death (#2.4)" (1975)
Lieutenant Dan 'Hondo' Harrelson: Shannon and his men are going away for so long that by the time they get out they'll may be no more wars to fight.
Sergeant David 'Deacon' Kay: Amen.


"S.W.A.T.: Pressure Cooker (#1.4)" (1975)
Meredith Cooper: As far is the police is concerned, I happen to think you're a necessary evil - usually more evil than necessary.
Officer Dominic Luca: Just because we enjoy beating up on blacks, Chicanos and foreigners? Kind of narrow minded isn't?
Sergeant David 'Deacon' Kay: Besides we only beat on them every other Thursday and you know what, I'm in charge of hitting on blacks. Now if that isn't equal opportunity I don't know what is.
[SWAT members laughing]