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Quotes for
Mike Newhouse (Character)
from Dazed and Confused (1993)

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Dazed and Confused (1993)
Mike: I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.

Mike: I didn't think drugs and alchohol were such a big deal they had to resort to Neo-McCarthyism to get rid of it.
Pink: I think they're just worried that some of us are having too good a time.

Tony: [to Sabrina about the hazing] We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals, and we were wondering how someone such as you would subject themselves to the losing end of it all.
Jodi: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.
Mike: [after Jodi takes Sabrina away] Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
Tony: Well you know how it is.
Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.
Tony: Yeah I bet she is.

Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.

Tony: So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
Mike: I wanna dance!

Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.

Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.

Mike: Don't air raid for that bitch, I hate that shit. It's like that Clint fucker in front of all his friends. Huh? Huh mother fucker.
Tony: Okay Mike.
Mike: Dominant male monkey mother fucker.

Mike: I feel like I'm being stalked by a Nazi.

Clint: What did you just say?
Mike: What?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?

Jodi: Ask Tony to marry you.
Sabrina Davis: Will you marry me?
Tony: Oh god, what am I supposed to say?
Mike: I dont know.
Tony: Uh, whadda ya do for me?
Sabrina Davis: Umm, anything you like.
Tony: [turns to Mike] Imagine the possibilities.

Tony: [Wooderson has just driven off after hitting on Cynthia] God, that was so creepy!
Mike: Wait, why are you smiling?
Cynthia: [shrugs] I thought he was cute.
Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting!
Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?

Pickford: [mockingly, to Mike and Tony] Woodward, Bernstein.
Mike: Guess that makes you Deep Throat.

Mike: [after the fight with Clint] I got some good ones in there, right? I mean, you wouldn't say I got my ass kicked, would you?
Cynthia: Oh no, I mean, after a few years, no one will even remember really, who won or lost.
Mike: Right, like when you read about Hemingway and those guys, no one ever talks about who won, just they got in a brawl.