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[after Burt blows up a shrieker herd
: Holy Sheeit! he doesn't fool around. Jodi Chang
: Burt is very uh, committed.
: I've been listening to my inner voice, and it's tellin' me that you and I are destined to work together. What do ya think? Burt
: I think if I had an inner voice, it'd be tellin' me to tell you to get lost.
: Well, uh just give it some time. You just think about it and get back to me now.
: [after an argument about catching a live graboid. Currently glaring angrily at Jack after he "cut them a deal" with the Feds
[turns gaze to the Feds
: ... say you have some sort of tranquilizer? Hmm? Jack
] Thank you... Frank Stattler (Third Fed.)
: Yeah, we're usin' tranq darts.
[looks at Rusk
] Frank Stattler (Third Fed.)
: We got one to chase us, but we couldn't get these
[holds up a tranq dart with bent tip
] Frank Stattler (Third Fed.)
: to penetrate the dirt. I'm ordering titanium tips, and a more powerful launch-gun. Burt
: Of course, you could *squander* the tax-payers' money, but I bet I could get them to swallow *this*
[holds up a bag with tranquilizer fluid inside
: with *this*
[holds up a remote-control truck
: , for $49.95! Agent Charlie Rusk
: So, do we - do we - we have a deal? Because we wanna know what - we should do... Burt
: You guys do what you do best!
[gets into his truck with the window rolled down
: Find something simple and complicate it! Jack
: [to Rusk
] It's good that he expresses himself. Repressed emotions can be real toxic. Agent Charlie Rusk
: He needs counselling... Burt
: [to Jack
] Get in! Jack
: What? Burt
: You got me into this! Burt
: Well, alright!
[Runs to the truck, slides over the hood, and jumps into the truck through an open window
: Use the door!
: Have you heard from the feds? Jack
: Not since this morning. Haven't been able to raise 'em. They were chasing a Graboid. Burt
: They were chasing it? It wasn't chasing them?
[about the FEDS
: Need I remind you Jack? They are not your friends, they are government agents. OVER! Jack
: [also over radio
] Cut me some slack, Burt! All I did was a little negotiatin'. Burt
: You did *what*? Jack
: I cut us a deal! You help 'em catch one live graboid, they give you back your huntin' license, over. Burt
: [Burt drives up, stopping next to Jack. Jodi notices them still talking on the radio
] Uhhh, copy that. Roger. One question. Jack
: Shoot. Burt
: [Off radio, getting out of the vehicle
] Is your head up your ass for the warmth?
[Jack notices chains attached to the back of Burt's truck
: Somebody gettin' married?
: And people called me paranoid. Jack
: Uh, *I* don't think you're paranoid! Miguel
: I do...
[Under his breath
: ...but not no more.
[Suggesting names for the flying monsters
] Jodi Chang
: Assblasters. How's that? Jack
: Sounds like a porno film.
: [after assembling a potato gun, Jodi realizes a problem
] Uh, but do we have a lighter? Jack
: Burt does. Burt
: [looks up from the gun
] How do you know? Jack
: Well, 'cause you're... Burt. Burt
: [presenting lighter
] Damn right I am.
: The universe provides. Jodi Chang
: The universe provides a boat? Jack
: And a blue tarp! C'mon!
: [after everyone runs into an outhouse to hide from the assblasters
] Well... let's assess the situation. Jack
: We're screwed. Jodi Chang
: We're screwed in an outhouse?
: [handing Jack a gun
] You do know which end the bullets come out? Jack
: I've seen movies.
: Burt, what happens if this thing eats your food? Burt
: [looks around at the many, many cases of MREs
] Assblaster Blitzkrieg.