Jean Girard
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Quotes for
Jean Girard (Character)
from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Jean Girard: [has Ricky in an arm lock] I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say..."I... love... crepes."
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run.
Ricky Bobby: I'm not gonna say it.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Good.
Ricky Bobby: Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. So why don't you go ahead and break my arm?
Jean Girard: I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby, but I am a man of my word.
Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini!
[he tries unsuccessfully to get free]
Jean Girard: Whoa! Get down, you little pancake.
Ricky Bobby: Someone might as well get me a beer while I'm down here.
Jean Girard: But you have forced me to do this. You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. Just say, "I love crepes."
Cal Naughton, Jr.: You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. They're just like pancakes, maybe even better.
Ricky Bobby: Wait, are they the really thin pancakes?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah.
Jean Girard: Yes they are. They are the really thin pancakes. It's just a French word for them.
Ricky Bobby: Oh, my god, I love those.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Put any syrups you want on them. I'm just saying, think about it.
Ricky Bobby: They come with cheese sometimes?
Jean Girard: Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe.
Ricky Bobby: Well, why didn't someone yell that right-right away?
Jean Girard: Do you know what's in the crepe suzette?
Ricky Bobby: Oh, I love the crepe suzette.
Jean Girard: With the sugar and lemon juice...
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, the sugar and the lemon juice. Sure.
Jean Girard: Grand Marnier.
Ricky Bobby: I wo - I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. I'd eat my way out from the inside.

Ricky Bobby: I will not shake your hand, but I will give you this.
[kisses Jean Girard]
Jean Girard: You taste of America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.

Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no?
Kyle: That is a fair compromise.
Herschell: Very fair, actually.
Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes!
Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call.
Ricky Bobby: [whispering] What do you think?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't say it.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew!
Jean Girard: As you wish.
[He breaks Ricky's arm]
Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

Jean Girard: Hakuna Matata, bitches!

Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I can't understand a word you've said the whole time.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something?
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.
Ricky Bobby: You say you're French?
Jean Girard: Oui.
[sounds like 'We']
Ricky Bobby: We? No, we are not French. We're American, because you're in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet
Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster?
Ricky Bobby: Chinese food?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food.
Jean Girard: That's from China.
Ricky Bobby: Pizza.
Jean Girard: Italy.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga.
Jean Girard: Mexico.
Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us?
Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the ménage à trois.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things.
Ricky Bobby: Hey.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one's pretty cool.

Ricky Bobby: Wow. I feel like I'm Highlander!
Jean Girard: [Jean chuckles, confused] What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: Oh for what?
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made.

Ricky Bobby: Nobody plays jazz at the Pit Stop!
Jean Girard: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We use it for profiling purposes. We also have the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants: to retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.
Ricky Bobby: That's dumb.
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: Nah, that's dumb.

Jean Girard: You spilled my macchiato!

Ricky Bobby: Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Jean Girard: It's a sign of friendship in many countries.
Ricky Bobby: Well, not here.
Jean Girard: There is nothing sexual about it. Please don't be worried about the fact that I have an erection. Its has nothing to do with you.

Jean Girard: Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker!

Jean Girard: Aaaaah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance. And yes, it will be a slow jam.

Jean Girard: By the way, I watched the Highlander movie, It was shit!

Ricky Bobby: I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I'm coming for you.
Jean Girard: Do you know why I came to America, Monsieur Bobby?
Ricky Bobby: Health care systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.
Jean Girard: I came here for you to beat me.
Ricky Bobby: What are you talking about?
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want only that what every other couple wants: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet, but before I can do that...
Ricky Bobby: That's dumb.
Jean Girard: It's not dumb.
Ricky Bobby: It is dumb.
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: I don't know.
Jean Girard: But before I can do that I must be beaten by a driver who is truly better than me.
Ricky Bobby: You saying you're going to lose to me on purpose?
Jean Girard: No.
Ricky Bobby: No?
Jean Girard: NO! I will battle you with the entirety of my heart and you will probably lose. But maybe, just maybe. You might challenge me. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?
Ricky Bobby: Wow I feel like I'm in the Highlander.
Jean Girard: What's the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie.
Jean Girard: Oh any good?
Ricky Bobby: Very good. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: Oh for what?
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made. Look I came here to tell you tomorrow I'm coming for you.
Jean Girard: May god be with you Monsieur Bobby. Because although today I am friendly. Tomorrow will be war!
Ricky Bobby: Alright.

Jean Girard: Soon you will know what it is like to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow".
Ricky Bobby: Well, let me just quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken".
Jean Girard: What's that got to do with this?

Jean Girard: Ricky... I watched the Highlander movie. It was shit!