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Quotes for
Reese Bobby (Character)
from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Reese Bobby: [walks into the classroom] Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Dad!
Reese Bobby: Hey there, boy! Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months?
10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Ten years? Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth]
Schoolteacher: Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here.
Reese Bobby: Oh, it's all right, darling, I'm a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver and an amateur tattoo artist.
Classmates: OOOOHHHH!
Reese Bobby: And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.
Schoolteacher: Okay, I think that's enough.
Reese Bobby: Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.
[classmates all cheer]

Texas Ranger: Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?
Reese Bobby: That's a good call.

[first lines]
Reese Bobby: [Reese is speeding] Guess how fast we're going now!
Lucy Bobby: [screams] I don't care! I'm having a baby!
Reese Bobby: Hundred and five miles an hour! Can you believe that!

Lucy Bobby: Reese, you just passed the hospital!
Lucy Bobby: [they keep on driving] The baby's coming, he's coming now!
Reese Bobby: All right, all right, hold on.
Lucy Bobby: Okay, but i think he might be stuck.
Reese Bobby: Grab onto something! Ready? One, two, THREE!
[He slams the brakes and we hear Ricky pop out of Lucy]
Lucy Bobby: It's a baby boy!

Reese Bobby: Now, you show me the DNA test and then maybe I'll, uh... I'll say hello to these swamp rats.
Frank: [from the house next door] You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent tryin' to sleep!
Reese Bobby: You better shut the hell up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent!
Lucy Bobby: Yeah, shut up, Frank!
Walker: Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!
Reese Bobby: Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.

Reese Bobby: There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.

Susan: Hi, I'm his lady. I'm Susan. I painted the car, I... we had sex.
Reese Bobby: Is that right?
Susan, Ricky Bobby: Yeah.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.

Ricky Bobby: Wait, Dad. Don't you remember the time you told me "If you ain't first, you're last"?
Reese Bobby: Huh? What are you talking about, Son?
Ricky Bobby: That day at school.
Reese Bobby: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth... hell you can even be fifth.
Ricky Bobby: What? I've lived my whole life by that!

Reese Bobby: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!

Reese Bobby: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect... it's making me feel kind of itchy...
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?

Ricky Bobby: [after seeing the cougar in the car] Where did you get it?
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.

Reese Bobby: See you when you're grown up.

Reese Bobby: Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes before they show up and you do 5 to 10. So, what's it going to be? Fear or prison?
Ricky Bobby: Man, what the hell are you talking about?
Reese Bobby: Real simple, son... cops are coming, there's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. You got hair on your peaches or what?