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: [walks into the classroom
] Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky. 10-year-old Ricky
: Dad! Reese Bobby
: Hey there, boy! Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 10-year-old Ricky
: Ten years. Reese Bobby
: Ten years? Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth
: Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here. Reese Bobby
: Oh, it's all right, darling, I'm a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver and an amateur tattoo artist. Classmates
: OOOOHHHH! Reese Bobby
: And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here. Schoolteacher
: Okay, I think that's enough. Reese Bobby
: Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.
[classmates all cheer
: Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they? Reese Bobby
: That's a good call.
] Reese Bobby
: [Reese is speeding
] Guess how fast we're going now! Lucy Bobby
] I don't care! I'm having a baby! Reese Bobby
: Hundred and five miles an hour! Can you believe that!
: Reese, you just passed the hospital! Lucy Bobby
: [they keep on driving
] The baby's coming, he's coming now! Reese Bobby
: All right, all right, hold on. Lucy Bobby
: Okay, but i think he might be stuck. Reese Bobby
: Grab onto something! Ready? One, two, THREE!
[He slams the brakes and we hear Ricky pop out of Lucy
] Lucy Bobby
: It's a baby boy!
: Now, you show me the DNA test and then maybe I'll, uh... I'll say hello to these swamp rats. Frank
: [from the house next door
] You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent tryin' to sleep! Reese Bobby
: You better shut the hell up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent! Lucy Bobby
: Yeah, shut up, Frank! Walker
: Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart! Reese Bobby
: Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.
: There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.
: Hi, I'm his lady. I'm Susan. I painted the car, I... we had sex. Reese Bobby
: Is that right? Susan
, Ricky Bobby
: Yeah. Reese Bobby
: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
: Wait, Dad. Don't you remember the time you told me "If you ain't first, you're last"? Reese Bobby
: Huh? What are you talking about, Son? Ricky Bobby
: That day at school. Reese Bobby
: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth... hell you can even be fifth. Ricky Bobby
: What? I've lived my whole life by that!
: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!
: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect... it's making me feel kind of itchy... Ricky Bobby
: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?
: [after seeing the cougar in the car
] Where did you get it? Reese Bobby
: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
: See you when you're grown up.
: Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes before they show up and you do 5 to 10. So, what's it going to be? Fear or prison? Ricky Bobby
: Man, what the hell are you talking about? Reese Bobby
: Real simple, son... cops are coming, there's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. You got hair on your peaches or what?