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: You've had Slater in front of the eight ball before, but you always screwed it up. Benedict
: [after Vivaldi leaves
] It's behind the eight ball, you moron!
: If God was a villain, he'd be me.
: Gentlemen. Since you are about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot. Think of villains Jack. You want Dracula? Dra-cool-la? Hang on
[takes out the ticket
: , I'll fetch him. Dracula? Huh. I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger, have a surprize party for Adolf Hitler, Hannibal Lecter can do the catering, and then we'll have christening for Rosemary's Baby! All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here. They're lining up to get here, and do you know why Jack? Should I tell you why? Hmm? Because here, in this world, the bad guys can win!
: What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend; now you turn a... 360 on me! Benedict
: 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started! Tony Vivaldi
: What? Benedict
: Trust me!
: I wonder if you'd help me test a theory? Mechanic
: Sure, what can I do for ya? Benedict
[Benedict shoots him. He listens for a while, looks at his wristwatch, then shouts
: Hello? I've just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!
[listens some more, still nothing
: I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!
[listens some more, someone tells him, "Hey, shut up, down there!". He looks pleased
: Sir, are you a henchman? Benedict
: No, I only go as far as lackey.
: Here, in this world, the bad guys can win!
: Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun. Benedict
: No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.
: [to Danny
] I must warn you, I've killed people smarter and younger than you.
: I understand you are interested in drug dealers. Danny Madigan
] Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye. Jack Slater
: Sir, are you a henchman? Benedict
: No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else? Jack Slater
: Yeah, take off your sunglasses. Benedict
: Who's asking? Jack Slater
: [flashes Police badge
] The tin man. Benedict
: Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks. Jack Slater
: No, they're the wrong color. Benedict
: Are they? Oh dear. Let's change them. Would arterial red suit you?
[points to guard dogs
: Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained.
[snaps fingers, dogs form pyramid
: I snap my fingers again and some time tomorrow, you emerge from several canine rector. Or you and Toto can return to the land of Oz. Questions? Jack Slater
: Yeah, two of them. Why am I wasting my time with silly putz like you when I could be doing something more dangerous - like rearranging my sock drawer? Two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?
[pause, Benedict reveals smiley-face eye
: Have a nice day!
[closing the door, he overhears Danny
] Danny Madigan
: He had one with a bulls-eye when he was with your second cousin. He hates his boss, he calls him a "Sicilian schmuck."
: Benedict! If you harm a hair on her head... Benedict
[Pulls one strand of Whitney's hair, presents it to Danny, and snaps it in two
: You were saying?
[Pulls up a chair
: Now, I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said, "If you eliminate all logical solutions to a problem - all illogical solutions, however unlikely, become inevitably true." See, I know that your name is Daniel Madigan. What I don't know is how you know mine? Danny Madigan
: Slater showed me some mugshots. We made your face easy. Benedict
: Daniel Madigan from New York. A long way from home, aren't you. When did you get here? Danny Madigan
: Just. Benedict
: And how do you know what I said on Vivaldi's terrace? Danny Madigan
: I heard it in a recording. Benedict
: Microphones in the statues, are there? Danny Madigan
: You wouldn't believe how many. Benedict
: And the eye I was wearing? Danny Madigan
: I saw it. I saw it in a movie. There were micro-cameras in the statues. Benedict
: I should tell you, that I have killed people smarter and younger than you.
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker
: Sweetheart, wanna have a party? Benedict
: How old are you? Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker
: Forget it.
: Take his shoes?
: The Fart goes off in seven minutes.