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: This is a 14th century Hungarian crossbow. It has killed a king and changed the history of Europe. You mess up anything in my apartment, I'll shove it up your ass.
: Wow! What are those? Antoine Laconte
: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. They're worth twice as much if they've killed somebody. Deuce Bigalow
: I collect Canadian quarters. I've got about six of 'em.
: [message on machine
] Hey Deuce, it's Antoine. I just realized I don't know you that well. To be honest, it's freaking me out a little. You just make sure you keep my apartment clean or you will die. Bye bye.
: I'm a gigolo. Deuce Bigalow
: Giga-who? Antoine Laconte
: Women pay me to... give them pleasure. Deuce Bigalow
: How did you get that job? Antoine Laconte
: I just sort of fell into it. Deuce Bigalow
: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!
: Excuse me for a second, huh? Must make pee-pee.
: [In a baby voice
] Hey fishy fishy fishy! Heyyy fishy fishy fishy fishy!
: Whoa! Chinese Tailbar Lionfish. He's a beaut! That's an $800 fish! Antoine Laconte
: Try a grand. Deuce Bigalow
: Then you overpaid.