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Quotes for
Alfredo Garcia (Character)
from Demolition Man (1993)

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Demolition Man (1993)
John Spartan: [whispering to Lenina] Look, I don't know if you guys know it, but uh... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: [confused] Did... did you say toilet *paper*?
Lenina Huxley: Um... they used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...
[Lenina, Alfredo, and Erwin all laugh]
John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
[Erwin continues to laugh, then calms down]
Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

Chief George Earle: You have apprehended the villain responsible for the murder of our beloved Dr. Raymond Cocteau?
John Spartan: Well, I wouldn't exactly say apprehended. Let's just say he's history. And the Cryo-prison? That's history, too.
[Chief Earle looks upon the damaged cryo-prison in disbelief]
Chief George Earle: [confused; takes off his glasses] What will we do? How will we live?
Edgar Friendly: I tell you what we're do. We're all gonna go out drinking, get shit-faced, and paint the town, literally. I mean graffiti, slogans. It'll be a blast.
John Spartan: Whoa, Whoa. I'll tell you what gonna do:
John Spartan: [to Chief Earle] Why don't you get a little dirty?
John Spartan: [to Edgar] You a lot clean.
John Spartan: And somewhere in the middle... I don't know. You'll figure it out.
Alfredo Garcia: Fuckin' A!
John Spartan: [impressed] Well put.

John Spartan: [to Garcia] We'll look at you. You get a bump on the noggin, and you think you're Pancho Villa?
Alfredo Garcia: [Garcia looks confused] Who?
John Spartan: [Spartan shaking his head] Never mind.
Edgar Friendly: [to Spartan] Time to take a stand pal.
John Spartan: [to Edgar] Well good. While you're doing that, loan me a gun.
[Edgar hands Spartan a gun]
John Spartan: Loan me two guns.
[Wastelander hands Spartan a waste belt with a gun in it. Spartan puts the belt over his shoulder]
Chief George Earle: [to Edgar and Wastelanders] You'de use the weapons of mass destruction against men and women who uphold the law?
Edgar Friendly: [to Chief] We use these to shop for groceries.

Lenina Huxley: What you're telling me to do is violate a direct order. I'm supposed to take you back to the Cryo Prison.
John Spartan: Listen, Huxley. I just know okay. I'm gonna find Phoenix and I'm gonna put him on ice or that's where *I'm* gonna be. After that, I'm gonna turn all of my attention to that fuckin' Cacteau.
Lenina Huxley: Enhance your calm, John Spartan.
John Spartan: Look, I'm tired of enhancing my calm.
Alfredo Garcia: [Seeing Spartan opening the pod to the depths of wasteland] Wait, you're opening the pod to the depths of wasteland?
John Spartan: The real reason why your citywide search didn't work is because Phoenix was in an area that A: You can't monitor. B: You're afraid to go down and C: You don't give a shit about. Now, I'm going to find Phoenix and I'm gonna put him in a hurt locker. So, are you coming with me, or are you gonna arrest me?
Lenina Huxley: Okay. Let's go blow this guy.
John Spartan: [Annoyed] Away. Blow this guy *away*?
Lenina Huxley: Whatever.