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: It's hell out there. Matthew's trapped with an evangelist from Minnesota.
: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation. Charles
: Uh-huh. Gareth
: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock. Charles
: Which is? Gareth
: He'll ask her to marry him. Charles
: Brilliant! Brilliant! Gareth
: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives. Charles
: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation. Gareth
: The definitive icebreaker.
: [about congratulating parents of bride and groom
] God, I never know what to say in these ghastly line-ups. Gareth
: It's a cinch! Just give a big warm hug and say the bride looks... pregnant. Matthew
: Or you can stick with convention and say "You must be very proud." Fiona
: Heaven preserve us...
[in the line
: You must be very proud!
[at Carrie's wedding in Scotland
: It's Brigadoon! It's Bloody Brigadoon!
American wedding guest
: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde? Gareth
: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?
George the boor at The Boatman
: If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am as a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Gareth
: Good point.
: The castle beckons, I think Tom.
: Scarlotta! Fabulous dress. The ecclesiastical purple and the pagan orange symbolizing the mystical symbiosis in marriage between the heathen and Christian traditions?
: That's right.
: We had the most delightful girl at our table. Carrie, apparently her fiancé's terribly grand and owns half of Scotland. How about you? Charles
: I seem to be stuck in the wedding from hell, ghosts of girlfriends past at every turn. Next thing I'll bump into Henrietta and the nightmare will be complete. Henrietta
: Hello Charles. Charles
: Hello Hen, how are you?
[Hen bursts into tears
: A toast before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, "I was adored once too."
: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, & the Holy Spirit, Amen. Let us pray. Father, you have made the bond of marriage a mystery. A symbol of Christ's love for his children. Hear our prayers for Bernard and Lydia through your son Jesus Christ our Lord who lives and wraiths with you and the Holy Ghoat. Eh *Ghost.* One God, forever and ever, Amen. Matthew
: This is his first time. He's a friend of the family. Charles
: Ahhh, Excellent! Father Gerald
: Bernard and Lydia, I shall now ask if you freely undertake the obligations of marriage. Bernard, repeat after me. I do solemnly declare that I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment... Bernard
: I do solemnly declare that I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment... Father Gerald
: ...why I, Lydia... Bernard
: ...why I, Bernard... Father Gerald
: Whoop, sorry! Why I, Bernard Godfrey St. John Delainey... Bernard
: Why I, Bernard Geoffrey Sinjin Delainey... Father Gerald
: May not be joined in matrimony to Lydia John Herbert. Bernard
: May not be joined in matrimony to Lydia Jane Herbert. Father Gerald
: Lydia, repeat after me. I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment why I, Lydia Jane Herbert... Lydia
: I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment why I, Lydia Jane Herbert... Father Gerald
: May not be Johned in matrimony... Lydia
: May not be *joined* in matrimony... Father Gerald
: to Bernard Geoffrey Siddle... Siddle Delainey. Lydia
: to Bernard Geoffrey *Sinjin* Delainey. Father Gerald
: I call upon those persons here present to witness... that I, Bernard... Delainey... Bernard
: I call upon those persons here present to witness... that I, Bernard Delainey... Father Gerald
: take thee Lydia Jane Herbert... to be my awful wedded wife. Bernard
: take thee Lydia Jane Herbert... to be my *lawful* wedded wife. Father Gerald
: *That's right*... *That's right*. May Almighty God bless you all in the name of the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spigot... *Spirit*. Congregation
: Amen! Gareth
: Bravo! Bravo!