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Quotes for
Fiona (Character)
from Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

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Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
Charles: Any idea who the girl in the black hat is?
Fiona: The name's Carrie.
Charles: Pretty.
Fiona: American.
Charles: Interesting.
Fiona: Slut.
Charles: Really?
Fiona: Used to work at Vogue. Lives in America now. Only gets out with very glamorous people. Quite out of your league.
Charles: Well, that's a relief. Thanks.

Charles: Perhaps we should've got married.
Henrietta: No! I'd have had to marry your friends, and I'm not sure I could take Fiona.
Charles: Fiona loves you.
Henrietta: Fiona calls me Duckface.
Charles: Well, I never heard that.
[Henrieta leavs and Fiona aproaches]
Fiona: How's Duckface?
Charles: Good form actually, not too mad.

[at second wedding]
Mrs. Beaumont: Are you married?
Fiona: No.
Mrs. Beaumont: Are you a lesbian?
Fiona: Good lord! What makes you ask that?
Mrs. Beaumont: Well, it is one of the possibilites for unmarried girls nowadays, and it's rather more interesting than saying, "Oh dear, never met the right chap," eh?
Fiona: Quite right. Why be dull?
Mrs. Beaumont: Thank you.
Fiona: The truth is... well, the truth is, I have met the right person, and he's not in love with me, and until I stop loving him, no one else really has a chance.
Mrs. Beaumont: Oh, what a shame.
Fiona: Yes, isn't it?
[another pause]
Fiona: I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about fifteen minutes.

Fiona: [about congratulating parents of bride and groom] God, I never know what to say in these ghastly line-ups.
Gareth: It's a cinch! Just give a big warm hug and say the bride looks... pregnant.
Matthew: Or you can stick with convention and say "You must be very proud."
Fiona: Heaven preserve us...
[in the line]
Fiona: You must be very proud!

Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.

Fiona: [discussing the first time one performs a wedding] It's rather like the first time one has sex, I suppose.
Father Gerald: I suppose so.
Fiona: Only not as messy, and far less cause for condoms.

Scarlett: [At wedding one, the bride walks down the aisle] Isn't she beautiful?
Fiona: Scarlett, you're blind, she looks like a big meringue.

Fiona: Do you think I'd hate him as much if he wasn't my brother?

Tom: Well, let's face the facts. If you weren't certain you wanted to marry her today, of all days - i.e., your wedding day - then it must have been the right decision, mustn't it?
[Fiona looks at him as though she's about to say, "Bugger off, Tom," for the umpteenth time, then reaches out and touches his shoulder affectionately]
Fiona: Quite right, Tom.

Fiona: There's a sort of greatness to your lateness.
Charles: Thanks, it's not achieved without real suffering.