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Quotes for
Lucky (Character)
from Doctor Dolittle (1998)

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Doctor Dolittle (1998)
Lucky: A little girl once called me "Please mommy, not him."

Tiger: [atop an observatory] ... And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short...
[John's Range-Rover pulls up at the main entrance, far below. With John are Lucky and both of the Rats]
Tiger: ... Hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!
Rat #2: [from the Range-Rover] See if you land on your feet, Road-Kill.
Lucky: [following John up to confront the tiger] ... Coming right up - one order of man, side of dog.
Tiger: Good-bye, cruel world. Oh no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. One of the few animals which enjoy that kind of thing.
Dr. John Dolittle: [attempts to talk the tiger out of jumping from the observatory] Hey, whoa. Take it easy now... Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger," from ROCKY 3? When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat him - then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. Rocky beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger." Because that song moved Rocky inside...
[He sings the song, way out of tune, to demonstrate]
Dr. John Dolittle: ... Not Eye of the Moose, not Eye of the Bull, Eye of the TIGER.
Tiger: That's it. I'm jumping.
Dr. John Dolittle: Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. If I can't, then you can eat me AND Lucky.
Lucky: Or just him.
Tiger: All right. I just hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.
Lucky: Good job, Doc. Although, seeing a tiger jump 5 stories would have been really cool.
Tiger: I heard that.

Lucky: ...Just like his dad wanted, John Dolittle grew up to be a normal and regular guy - you know, miserable.
Dr. John Dolittle: [John emerges from his apartment to get his newspaper; he notices a stray puppy in the hallway] Hey, get out of here!
[the puppy wimpers and takes a squirt right there in the hallway. John yells inside]
Dr. John Dolittle: Hey, there's a vicious animal in the hallway!

Tiger: [Jake the Tiger is about to be taken, by John and Lucky, to the hospital for an operation] ... Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?
Lucky: Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish.
Tiger: Don't flatter yourself.

Dr. John Dolittle: [Lucky walks in on an intimate moment between John and Lisa] ... Oh, Mrs. Dolittle...!
Lucky: Yeah, baby!
Dr. John Dolittle: [to Lisa] Excuse me just one second, OK?
[to Lucky]
Dr. John Dolittle: Let's go.
Lucky: What a gyp.
Dr. John Dolittle: You mind if I have a little privacy, please?
Lucky: But it's fine when people watch us dogs do it, huh?
[John shuts the door on him; he continues]
Lucky: ... Fine to turn on the garden hose. Hey, you want a tip on a good position...?

Pig: [Various animals are pouring into John's apartment] ... Good evening, Doctor.
Dr. John Dolittle: ...No. You're gonna have to take your fat ass back out.
Penguin: Oh, my God. What a zoo.
Pig: Hmm, obviously not a kosher establishment.
Rooster: Where are the chicks? Ooh! I'm cool.
Pig: [belches] ... Very well-appointed sty.
Dr. John Dolittle: What's going on? What is all this?
Owl: I don't know. You know, tell a friend. Ha ha.
Lucky: Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc.
Sheep: Our butts hurt.
Dr. John Dolittle: Okay. Let's do this. And watch your droppings.
Rodney: Tonight, this is the house of love! East Coast! West Coast! Let's unite! Is Brooklyn in the house...?

Dr. John Dolittle: ...You're suffering from obsessive-compulsive behavior...
Compulsive Dog: [bouncing like a pogo stick] Throw the ball!
Dr. John Dolittle: When you want the ball, think about something else...
Compulsive Dog: Don't say anything more! Throw the ball!
Dr. John Dolittle: You need to relax your mind...
Compulsive Dog: You're the person. You throw the ball. I'm the dog. I get it. Simple as that. I swear, I'll pee on your carpet. Please, please, please, throw the ball. Shut up and throw the ball. Am I alone here? Am I all by myself? Am I in ANOTHER UNIVERSE?
Lucky: THROW THE DAMN BALL!
[John resignedly does so]
Compulsive Dog: He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball! I'll get it! I'll get it! I love you! I love you! You threw the ball...!
Rodney: [to John] ... You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff.

Lucky: [having tracked John all the way to the Hammersmith Retreat] ... I crossed three freeways to get here - at NIGHT, no less - and all you can say is "What are you doing here?"

Lucky: What's he doing with that?
Dr. John Dolittle: You don't want to know.
Lucky: Just don't let him stick that thing up my... HELLO!

Baby Gator: [just hatched, looks at Rodney] Mama?
Rodney: Mama, I'm not ya mama.
Baby Gator: [to Lucky] Mama?
Lucky: Oh, no, don't look at me... Well, there was this one time I got drunk in the Everglades...

[Lucky is looking out of a car window]
Lucky: Oh, I'm so dizzy. All I see is line, line, line line.
Dr. John Dolittle: So look somewhere else.
Lucky: Okay. Tree, tree, tree tree.

Dr. John Dolittle: How come I can hear you talking?
Lucky: I dunno. Maybe you're just weird or something.
Dr. John Dolittle: Shut up. You're a dog. DOGS CANNOT TALK.
Lucky: What the hell do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?

Lucky: Hi, I'm Lucky! It works on two levels, I love it!

Dr. Fish: I have to interpret *why* the dog is whining. He can't tell me.
Lucky: What's to tell? There's a thermometer! It's in my butt!

Dr. John Dolittle: [Trying to keep the Tiger from jumping off a tower] There's been plenty of great tigers.
Tiger: Oh yeah? Name one
Lucky: How about Tony?
Dr. John Dolittle: Tony the cereal tiger?
Lucky: Well I didn't hear you come up with anything.

[first lines]
Lucky: [narrating] You know, they say the great thing about being a kid is, it's so easy to pretend. You can have a conversation with your dog or a baseball or a banana. Well, what if wasn't pretend? What if you could have a conversation. I mean, not with a baseball or a banana - that's ridiculous, but - but with your dog?

[last lines]
Lucky: I want my own room, with a TV. Basic cable will be fine.
Rat #1: I hate stories with happy endings.
Owl: Yoo-hoo.
Rat #1: What did you say?
Rat #2: I didn't say nothing.
Rat #1: Then who?
Owl: [squawks and takes flight]
Rat #1: Ahhh! Run! Run for your lives! Oh my God! Let's go, buddy.
Rat #2: I don't want to die. I'm too young to die! Hang a left! No, hang a right! Look out for the traffic! Oh, legs, do your thing. Get out of my way!
Rat #1: This circle of life really stinks!

Dr. John Dolittle: [when Lucky comes to see him at the Hammerstein Retreat] What are you doing here?
Lucky: You're unbelievable. I cross three parkways at night, no less, to come to rescue you, and all I get is "What are you doing here?"
Dr. John Dolittle: This isn't a prison, it's a clinic.
Lucky: Look, the tiger's in bad shape.
Dr. John Dolittle: The tiger? Hey, listen, forget the tiger! Let me tell you something. I had a perfect life until you came along and started talkin' to me. Now I'm sittin' in a robe and slippers discussin' "Mister Ed" with these guys. You've ruined my life enough. I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Just get outta here, please? Go! This is crazy!
Lucky: Oh, I get it: now it's crazy to wanna save a tiger's life.
Dr. John Dolittle: Look, tigers die everyday. It's called nature.
Lucky: Well, let me tell you a little something about nature. I'm a dog, and I act like a dog. I don't try to be anybody else. We are who we are, and you are a doctor who can talk to animals. That's who you are.
Dr. John Dolittle: [defensive] That is not who I am!
Lucky: Stop lying to yourself!
Dr. John Dolittle: [his anger rising by the second] Didn't I tell you to get outta here? Get outta here! Go! Get outta here!
Lucky: [preparing to leave] Fine.
Dr. John Dolittle: Quit comin' around and talkin' to me!
Lucky: [looking over his shoulder] With pleasure!
Dr. John Dolittle: YOU BETTER NOT COME BACK! AAAGH!
Lucky: Bonehead.
[goes on his way]
Dr. John Dolittle: [shouting to no animal in particular] THAT MEANS ALL OF Y'ALL! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TALKIN' TO ME!
Lucky: Ruined his life. That's a laugh.
Dr. John Dolittle: AAAGH! AAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAGH!
[after he finishes shouting, he goes back inside where the two other guys are standing there confused]
Dr. John Dolittle: AAAAGH!

5-Year-Old John Dolittle: She was my best friend.
Archer Dolittle: You'll make some real friends now.
Lucky: [narrating] From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.
Archer Dolittle: Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.
Lucky: [narrating] And after a while, all he could remember was that deep down inside, there was something missing.