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: [on telephone
] Hey, honey, feeling better? Dr. John Dolittle
: Who's this? Rodney
: I'll give you a hint: I'm cute, I'm furry, and I make five hundred babies a year! Dr. John Dolittle
: Rodney. Get back in your cage. Rodney
: What's up with that trap behind the fridge? You trying to kill me? Dr. John Dolittle
: Never mind that. Get your little furry ass back in your cage. Now. I don't want your droppings on... Bye-bye.
[to security guard
] Dr. John Dolittle
: My son Rodney. Little hairy boy, sleeps in the cage. I have to keep him in the cage because he has hygiene problems.
: Ooh, man - you scared the crap out of me. See? There it is.
: [Rodney's cage is strapped to the top of John's Range-Rover, which is cruising down the highway
] ... Come on, Doc! I'm getting whisker-whipped up here! Hey - this is cruel to animals! Dr. John Dolittle
: One more word, and I'm letting you out! I'll leave you in the wild! With the REAL animals! See how much talk you do when squirrels are kickin' your ass in! Rodney
: Fine, then I'll just sing!
[proceeds to sing Bob Dylan's "Blowin' In the Wind," way out of tune
: ..."The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind..." Dr. John Dolittle
: SHUT UP!
[turns the radio way up
] ... This guinea pig is blowin' in the wind! Dr. John Dolittle
: I can't hear you! I'm groovin'! Rodney
: ...Why do they call me "guinea pig," anyway? I'm not Italian, and I'm not pork...! Dr. John Dolittle
: SHUT UP, I SAID!
: Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you? Archer Dolittle
: He certainly didn't learn it from his mother, God rest her soul.
[John's Range-Rover drives up, with Rodney's cage strapped to the roof
] Maya Dolittle
: Daddy, what's Rodney doing on the roof? Dr. John Dolittle
: I thought the fresh air would do him good. Rodney
: Lunatic! Crazy man! Psycho! Dr. John Dolittle
: [looks at Rodney murderously
] ... Daddy, we still got those BB guns I used to play with when I was little?
: [Various animals are pouring into John's apartment
] ... Good evening, Doctor. Dr. John Dolittle
: ...No. You're gonna have to take your fat ass back out. Penguin
: Oh, my God. What a zoo. Pig
: Hmm, obviously not a kosher establishment. Rooster
: Where are the chicks? Ooh! I'm cool. Pig
] ... Very well-appointed sty. Dr. John Dolittle
: What's going on? What is all this? Owl
: I don't know. You know, tell a friend. Ha ha. Lucky
: Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc. Sheep
: Our butts hurt. Dr. John Dolittle
: Okay. Let's do this. And watch your droppings. Rodney
: Tonight, this is the house of love! East Coast! West Coast! Let's unite! Is Brooklyn in the house...?
Dr. John Dolittle
: ...You're suffering from obsessive-compulsive behavior... Compulsive Dog
: [bouncing like a pogo stick
] Throw the ball! Dr. John Dolittle
: When you want the ball, think about something else... Compulsive Dog
: Don't say anything more! Throw the ball! Dr. John Dolittle
: You need to relax your mind... Compulsive Dog
: You're the person. You throw the ball. I'm the dog. I get it. Simple as that. I swear, I'll pee on your carpet. Please, please, please, throw the ball. Shut up and throw the ball. Am I alone here? Am I all by myself? Am I in ANOTHER UNIVERSE? Lucky
: THROW THE DAMN BALL!
[John resignedly does so
] Compulsive Dog
: He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball! I'll get it! I'll get it! I love you! I love you! You threw the ball...! Rodney
: [to John
] ... You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff.
: [just hatched, looks at Rodney
] Mama? Rodney
: Mama, I'm not ya mama. Baby Gator
: [to Lucky
] Mama? Lucky
: Oh, no, don't look at me... Well, there was this one time I got drunk in the Everglades...
: Somebody get the license plate number. I have just been violated!
: Need some help? Dr. John Dolittle
: Oh, no, I'm - we're - we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here. Rodney
: Ask her if she's got any lettuce. Dr. John Dolittle
: Shut your mouth. Shut your furry little mouth right now!
: [after Dr. Dolittle hears him talk for the first time
] Okay, let's chill. Let's just chill. Dr. John Dolittle
: I'm not gonna chill. Rodney
: You gonna chill.
[Dr. Dolittle grabs his cage and removes it from the car
: Uh, what are you doing, switching sides?