John Cedar
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Quotes for
John Cedar (Character)
from Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)

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Mr. Deeds (2002)
[Anderson raises his hand after Chuck Cedar asks if anyone knows a doctor that just faxed them]
Chuck Cedar: Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.
Cecil Anderson: That would explain a lot.

Chuck Cedar: We're looking for somebody. Longfellow Deeds.
Murph: Wow! Is that's Deeds's first name?
Cecil Anderson: Well, if the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds, then yes, that is Deeds's first name.
Murph: Well, I don't know Deeds's first name, maybe it's Greg.
Cecil Anderson: Maybe it's Longfellow.
Murph: Maybe. But I don't know. I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him up?
Chuck Cedar: No! Thank you. Please. Just tell us where Deeds lives.

Chuck Cedar: Cute, bigmouth.
Emilio: Sir?
Chuck Cedar: As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls, you are out of here on your fat, Puerto Rican ass.
[leaves]
Emilio: I hail from Spain, sir.
[gives the middle finger to Cedar's retreating back]
Emilio: Ole.

Chuck Cedar: He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture, it'll be all over the news in an hour.
Longfellow Deeds: Well, he deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled.
Chuck Cedar: No, he deserves to get his throat cut. Filthy spy!

Chuck Cedar: If I lose control of this company, it will be catastrophic.

Chuck Cedar: Did we find this heir yet?

Chuck Cedar: This company is a player on so many levels, and in so many areas, that running it is literally a 24-hour-a-day job. I only got three hours of sleep last night.
Longfellow Deeds: Then it's actually a 21-hour-a-day job, huh?


Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
[Two shy sisters testify at Deeds's sanity hearing]
John Cedar: Do you know the defendant, Mr. Longfellow Deeds?
[long pause]
Jane Faulkner: Oh yes, yes, of course we know him.
John Cedar: How long have you known him?
[Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]
Jane Faulkner: Since he was born.
Amy Faulkner: Yes, Elsie Taggart was the midwife.
Jane Faulkner: He was a seven months' baby.
John Cedar: Thank you, that's, that's fine. Do you see him very often?
[Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]
Jane Faulkner: Most every day.
Amy Faulkner: Sometimes twice.
Judge May: Must we have the echo?
John Cedar: Suppose you just answer, Miss Jane. Now, will you tell the court what everybody at home thinks of Longfellow Deeds?
[pause; then Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]
Jane Faulkner: They think he's pixilated.
Amy Faulkner: Oh, yes, pixilated.
Judge May: He's what?
John Cedar: What was that you said he was?
Jane Faulkner: Pixilated.
Amy Faulkner: Mm-hmm.
John Cedar: Now that's rather a strange word to us, Miss Jane. Can you tell the court exactly what it means?
Board member: Perhaps I can explain, Your Honor. The word "pixilated" is an early American expression derived from the word "pixies," meaning elves. They would say the pixies had got him. As we nowadays would say, a man is "barmy."
Judge May: Oh. Is that correct?
Jane Faulkner: Mm-hmm.
Amy Faulkner: Mm-hmm.

John Cedar: Your Honor, what she is saying has no bearing on the case. I object!
Judge May: Let her speak!
Babe Bennett: I know why he won't defend himself! That has a bearing on the case, hasn't it? He's been hurt, he's been hurt by everybody he met since he came here, principally by me. He's been the victim of every conniving crook in town. The newspapers pounced on him, made him a target for their feeble humor. I was smarter than the rest of them: I got closer to him, so I could laugh louder. Why shouldn't he keep quiet - every time he said anything it was twisted around to sound imbecilic! He can thank me for it. I handed the gang a grand laugh. It's a fitting climax to my sense of humor.
John Cedar: Why, Your Honor, this is preposterous.
Babe Bennett: Certainly I wrote those articles. I was going to get a raise, a month's vacation. But I stopped writing them when I found out what he was all about, when I realized how real he was. He could never fit in with our distorted viewpoint, because he's honest, and sincere, and good. If that man's crazy, Your Honor, the rest of us belong in straitjackets!
John Cedar: Your Honor, this is absurd. The woman's obviously in love with him.
Babe Bennett: What's that got to do with it?
John Cedar: Well, you are in love with him, aren't you?
Babe Bennett: What's that got to do with it?
John Cedar: You ARE, aren't you?
Babe Bennett: Yes!

John Cedar: [giving his name card to Deeds] I'm John Cedar, of the New York firm of Cedar, Cedar, Cedar and Budington.
Longfellow Deeds: [chuckling] Budington must feel like an awful stranger.

Cornelius Cobb: [Approaching a Vermont farmer who is busy unloading boxes] Good morning!
Farmer: Morning, neighbors. 'Morning.
Cornelius Cobb: A...
[farmer walks away with a box]
Cornelius Cobb: That's an excellent start. At least we've broken the ice.
John Cedar: [the farmer returns] I say, my friend, do you know a fellow by the name of Longfellow Deeds?
Farmer: Deeds?
John Cedar: Yes.
Farmer: Yes, sir. Yes, indeedy. Everyone knows Deeds.
John Cedar: Yeah, we...
[farmer walks away with a box]
Cornelius Cobb: Must be a game he's playing.
John Cedar: [the farmer returns] We'd like to get in touch with him. It's very important.
Farmer: Who's that?
John Cedar: Deeds! Who do you think I am talking about?
Farmer: Oh, yes, Deeds. Fine fellow. Very democratic. You won't have no trouble at all. Talks to anybody.
[walks away with a box]
John Cedar: I guess we'd better try somebody else.
Cornelius Cobb: No. We won't. The next time that jumping jack comes out, I'll straddle him while you ask him your questions.
Farmer: 'Morning, neighbor.
Cornelius Cobb: Remember us, the fellows who were here a minute ago?
Farmer: Oh, yeah. Yes, indeedy. I never forget a face.
Cornelius Cobb: Listen, pop. We've come all the way from New York to look up a fellow by the name of Deeds. It's important. It's *very* important.
Farmer: You don't have to get rough, neighbor. All you've got to do is ask.
Cornelius Cobb: Then *please* pretend, for just one fleeting moment, that I'm asking. Where does he reside?
Farmer: Who?
Farmer: [Gives up in desperation]

Anderson: [walks up to the farmer] Longfellow Deeds. Where does he live?
Farmer: Oh, that's what you want. Why didn't you say so in the first place instead of beating around the bush? Those other fellows don't know what they're talking about. Come on, I'll take you there in my car. If they'd only explained to me what they want, there'd be no trouble.
Mrs. Meredith - Housekeeper: [the group arrives at Longfellow's house and knocks] Oh. Will you come in, please, gentlemen?
John Cedar: Is Mr. Deeds in?
Mrs. Meredith - Housekeeper: No, he's over to the park arranging a bazaar to raise money for the fire engine.
[turning to farmer]
Mrs. Meredith - Housekeeper: Mal, you should've knowed he was in the park.
Mrs. Meredith - Housekeeper: Knowed it all the time but these men said they wanted to see the house. Can't read their minds if they don't say what they want.