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Quotes for
Emilio Lopez (Character)
from Mr. Deeds (2002)

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Mr. Deeds (2002)
Emilio: How can I thank you?
Longfellow Deeds: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
Emilio: Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
Longfellow Deeds: Alright.
Emilio: Done.

Longfellow Deeds: Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there...
Emilio: I am very very sneaky, sir.

[Longfellow Deeds is showing Emilio his frostbitten foot]
Emilio: The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.
Longfellow Deeds: Oh, yeah. I've heard that before

Emilio: I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

Emilio: Usually, when you are black out drunk you don't dream... or so I read.

Emilio: Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller.

Chuck Cedar: Cute, bigmouth.
Emilio: Sir?
Chuck Cedar: As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls, you are out of here on your fat, Puerto Rican ass.
Emilio: I hail from Spain, sir.
[gives the middle finger to Cedar's retreating back]
Emilio: Ole.

Longfellow Deeds: How did I get into these pajamas?
Emilio: I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.

Emilio: That is my mother's name... That is my birth date... That is my MONEY?

[Lopez fires everyone on the board, and is about to fire Cecil Anderson... ]
Longfellow Deeds: Ah, hold on a moment. Allow him to hang around a little longer. He can do a good job if you give him the chance.
Emilio: Very well...
[to Cecil]
Emilio: I shall expect you at seven tomorrow morning, so that I can change your socks.

[Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state]
Babe: "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..."
Reuben: "So full of love my heart's exploding..."
Emilio: [stroking a beautiful woman] "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..."
Cecil Anderson: [seated next to Kitty on a bench] "My heart is yours for the taking..."
Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man: [stroking a cat] "Acting weird / Not myself..."
Jan: "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..."
Longfellow Deeds: "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."

Emilio: You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You, sir, you are definitely fired.
Cecil Anderson: I'd like to stay. I think I can do some good around here.
[Emilio looks at Deeds, who nods in approval]
Emilio: Okay, not fired. But tomorrow morning, you will let me change your socks.
Cecil Anderson: [Weirded out] Okay.