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: How can I thank you? Longfellow Deeds
: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man. Emilio
: Deeds! How about a billion dollars? Longfellow Deeds
: Alright. Emilio
: Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there... Emilio
: I am very very sneaky, sir.
[Longfellow Deeds is showing Emilio his frostbitten foot
: The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever. Longfellow Deeds
: Oh, yeah. I've heard that before
: I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.
: Usually, when you are black out drunk you don't dream... or so I read.
: Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller.
: Cute, bigmouth. Emilio
: Sir? Chuck Cedar
: As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls, you are out of here on your fat, Puerto Rican ass.
: I hail from Spain, sir.
[gives the middle finger to Cedar's retreating back
: How did I get into these pajamas? Emilio
: I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.
: That is my mother's name... That is my birth date... That is my MONEY?
[Lopez fires everyone on the board, and is about to fire Cecil Anderson...
] Longfellow Deeds
: Ah, hold on a moment. Allow him to hang around a little longer. He can do a good job if you give him the chance. Emilio
: Very well...
: I shall expect you at seven tomorrow morning, so that I can change your socks.
[Deeds' poem is printed on greeting cards all over the state
: "Hard to breathe / Feels like floating..." Reuben
: "So full of love my heart's exploding..." Emilio
: [stroking a beautiful woman
] "Mouth is dry / Hands are shaking..." Cecil Anderson
: [seated next to Kitty on a bench
] "My heart is yours for the taking..." Nazo, the Italian Delivery Man
: [stroking a cat
] "Acting weird / Not myself..." Jan
: "Dancing around like the Keebler elf..." Longfellow Deeds
: "Finally time / for this poor schlubb / To know how it feels to fall in lub."
: You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You, sir, you are definitely fired. Cecil Anderson
: I'd like to stay. I think I can do some good around here.
[Emilio looks at Deeds, who nods in approval
: Okay, not fired. But tomorrow morning, you will let me change your socks. Cecil Anderson
: [Weirded out