Uncle Monty
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Quotes for
Uncle Monty (Character)
from A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

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A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
Uncle Monty: Now, the children will be helping us extensively with the research in Peru. Do you have any experience with children?
Count Olaf: [in disguise as Stephano] Children are strange and foreign to me. I never really was one. I do know that they are an important part of the ecosystem.

Uncle Monty: We can have time for chit-chat later. What I need now is the work of a reader, an inventor, and a biter.
Sunny: [in baby talk] My teeth are at your service, sir.

Uncle Monty: I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me?
Count Olaf: Petunia? Well- uh- yeah. Sure. I'll take a shot at that.
[Grabbing for snake with stick, unsure]
Count Olaf: You know, they used to call me Old McDonald up at the milking lab. I used to milk these things all day long.
[lifting snake]
Count Olaf: But the little udders- they're hard to locate.

Klaus Baudelaire: That's the Two-Headed Cobra!
Uncle Monty: Well spotted!
Violet Baudelaire: Is that a he or a she?
Uncle Monty: I have no idea! I didn't think it polite to ask.