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J. Peterman (Character)
from "Seinfeld" (1989)
- The Finale (1998) TV episode, Played by John O'Hurley
- The Frogger (1998) TV episode, Played by John O'Hurley
- The Bookstore (1998) TV episode, Played by John O'Hurley
- The Cartoon (1998) TV episode, Played by John O'Hurley
- The Apology (1997) TV episode, Played by John O'Hurley
J. Peterman: Elaine, do you have a moment? It's about your lover.
Elaine Benes: [Faking a broken heart] Oh yes. I know all about his little performance in the break room.
Elaine Benes: Elaine, who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a love newton?
Elaine Benes: Love newton?
J. Peterman: I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinaman's nightcap.
Elaine Benes: An addict?... Well, it just keeps getting better!
J. Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles, filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions... plus, I gave him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
Elaine Benes: Look, uh, Mr. Peterman, the fact is that I was planning on breaking up with Zach anyway. He was cheating on me!
J. Peterman: Damn it, Elaine. That wasn't Zach. That was the yam-yam. Now, he is going cold turkey... And you will be at his side.
Elaine Benes: Oh. Well, you know, I had planned to uh...
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