The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: So what happened to the doll? Frank Costanza
: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!" Cosmo Kramer
: That musta been some kind of doll. Frank Costanza
: [Nods head
] She was.
: At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
: Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!
: I think you can take him, Georgie! George Costanza
: Oh, come on! Be sensible. Frank Costanza
: Stop crying and fight your father! George Costanza
: Ow!... Ow! I give! I give! Uncle! Frank Costanza
: This is the best Festivus ever!
: [Inspecting his newly polished shoes
] I don't think you did such a good job on these... George Costanza
: What? Frank
: [shoving the shoe in George's face
] You're supposed to your face there! Do you see your face in there?
: George, forget about the shoes. Want you to do something for me This handicapped woman had an accident. Somebody gave her a used wheelchair with defective brakes. George Costanza
: Sunsabitches! Frank
: Anyway, I want you to pick up this big screen TV, and DE! LIVE! ER! IT! TO! HER! George Costanza
: Big screen TV? Frank
: You think you can handle that?
: Where have you been? You were supposed to fix the stove! I've been waiting for hours! Frank Costanza
: I fell on some Fusilli Estelle Costanza
: Fusilli? Frank Costanza
: You know, the corkscrew pasta. It was a Fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. Had to go to the proctologist. Estelle Costanza
: The proctologist? Are you okay? Frank Costanza
: Yeah. Estelle Costanza
: Oh, I was so worried.
[grabs a couple of tissues from the box
] George Costanza
: Ma, don't cry! Estelle Costanza
: Oh, I can't help it! George Costanza
: Ma, your eyes!
: [while on his way to confront Kramer for making a pass at his wife, he spot's Kramer's ASSMAN vanity license plate and immediately becomes embroiled in rage
] ASSMAN? I'll give him ASSMAN!
: Latvian Orthodox? Why are you doing this? George Costanza
: For a woman. Frank Costanza
: A woman? What are you out of your mind? Estelle Costanza
: Why can't you do anything like a normal person? Frank Costanza
: Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?
: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen? George Costanza
: Why don't we talk about it another time. Frank Costanza
: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing! Mrs. Ross
: Something's missing all right. Mr. Ross
: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them. Frank Costanza
: That's perverse.
: Georgie, would you like some Jello? Frank Costanza
: Why do you put the bananas in there? Estelle Costanza
: George likes the bananas! Frank Costanza
: SO LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!
: [on Jerry's answering machine
] Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
: [George remembering his seventh birthday
] Blow out the candles. Blow out the candles. I said blow out the damn candles. Estelle Constanza
: Stop it, Frank, you're killing him.
: SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW! George Costanza
: What is *that*? Frank Costanza
: Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'SERENITY NOW!' George Costanza
: Are you supposed to *yell* it? Frank Costanza
: The man on the tape wasn't specific.