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Quotes for
Bert Schnick (Character)
from Shock Treatment (1981)

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Shock Treatment (1981)
Bert Schnick: [in song] Ever since I was the eine kleine herren/It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin'/And the one taste treat so sweet, it really can't be beat/Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar, that little black mess!

Bert Schnick: Hey, folks, it's Ricky from the Rest Home!
'Rest Home' Ricky: Hey, Bert!
Bert Schnick: Hey, Ricky.
'Rest Home' Ricky: I've come for Mr. Majors.
Bert Schnick: Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair!
'Rest Home' Ricky: [to Janet] Nothing serious, I hope?
Janet Majors: Oh, no, just a routine checkup.
Bert Schnick: Just a "routine checkup," eh, viewers?
[chuckles]

[Audience cheers as Bert dances in]
Bert Schnick: Hoopla Denton!
Audience: Hoopla Bert!
[Audience cheers more]

Bert Schnick: [after sending Brad to Dentonvale] The subject is committed. As are we all.

Bert Schnick: [to himself] They should be sent to the Danube at dawn.
Ralph Hapschatt: What?
Bert Schnick: Just... memories.

Bert Schnick: [as Brad is wheeled away] The subject is committed! As are we all...