Doc Adams
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Quotes for
Doc Adams (Character)
from "Gunsmoke" (1955)

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"Gunsmoke: Saturday Night (#12.16)" (1967)
Doc: Were you born in a barn?
[to Festus]

Doc: That's mine!
[slapping Festus' hand away from his mug of beer]
Festus: All right you stingy ol' scutter!

"Gunsmoke: The Blacksmith (#6.2)" (1960)
Doc: By golly, I tell you- this calls for a bit of a celebration I think. And I'll by the drinks too.
Chester Goode: Well Glory- be!
Doc: First Round, I mean. First Round.
Chester Goode: Oh yeah.

Kitty Russell: [Doc is buying drinks for a couple going to marry] Well Doc, if this is what it takes to get you to spend some money I'm gonna start promoting some more marriages around this town.
Doc: Well sure I'm in favor of that. Why... Why don't you start with Chester there? He's ready. He's over ripe.
Chester Goode: That's better than being all pruned up like some people I know.
Kitty Russell: Laughing
Chester Goode: Oh, don't laugh at him.

"Gunsmoke: Dead Man's Law (#13.17)" (1968)
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: For twelve years you've had law and order in Dodge City because one man enforced the law. Now that he's not here, you're willing to give the town away to the first incompetent that comes along with a shot gun and is anxious to use it.

Festus Haggen: I just thought...
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Don't think! That's when you get dangerous.

"Gunsmoke: The Prodigal (#13.3)" (1967)
[the spokes on Doc's buggy are loose]
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: How much is it going to cost me to have 'em fixed?
Festus Haggen: Shouldn't 'mount t'much; fifty cents'll do... Soakin' in the crik a few hours'll swell them spokes back tight as pin feathers on a prairie chicken's rump.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Soakin' in the crik?
Festus Haggen: Sure.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: And while you're sitting there, letting the wheels soak, I suppose you'll do a little fishing?
Festus Haggen: Now that you mention it...
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: So I end up paying you fifty cents to fish.
Festus Haggen: Well, Doc, I'm gonna have t'dig me some worms, catch me some grasshoppers. That's tirin'. If it wasn't for them wheels needin' soakin', I wouldn't have to....

"Gunsmoke: Laughing Gas (#3.29)" (1958)
Miss Kitty: [Sitting together in the Long Branch] What is it, anyhow?
Doc: Oh, well, it's nitrous oxide. It's a... it's an anesthetic is what it is. It's also an intoxicant, and pretty dangerous if you get too much of it.
Miss Kitty: Well in other words, you don't recommend that we start using it here instead of whiskey, huh?
Marshal Matt Dillon: Listen, the whiskey you serve here is dangerous enough.
Miss Kitty: Oh? Except when it's on the house!

"Gunsmoke: Gun for Chester (#3.2)" (1957)
Matt Dillon: [late night seeing Doc] Well your up late, Doc. Where you been, out on a call?
Doc: Well now, What you think I've been doing - out romancing the ladies?
Matt Dillon: Nah, you're too old for that.
Doc: Oh, too old huh? Let me tell you something, I could show all these young bucks around here a thing or two if I was foolish enough to take the time.

"Gunsmoke: Arizona Midnight (#18.15)" (1973)
Festus: Doc, can I go with you? I've ain't never swapped words with no midget before.
Doc: Well, couple of things you ought to know about midgets, first though.
Festus: What's that?
Doc: Don't pick him up.
Festus: Oh, I wasn't fixin to pick him up Doc.
Doc: I just didn't want you to do anything stupid, that's all.

"Gunsmoke: The Killer (#1.28)" (1956)
'Doc' Adams: [Stands over body of gunshot victim] Crego, he's a brutal man, Matt. He... you know what he did here? He shot that man in the gun arm first, then he put a bullet through each one of his knees. Finally shot him in the belly. That's a terrible thing to do, that's a painful way to kill a man. It's evil! He was just a poor potato grubber. He didn't have a chance.

"Gunsmoke: Robber Bridegroom (#4.14)" (1958)
Marshal Matt Dillon: Well, why don't you make your patients pay in advance?
Doc Adams: Gosh, the condition most of my patients arrive in, they'd bleed to death while I was making change.
Marshal Matt Dillon: Well, a lot of 'em do, anyway, don't they?

"Gunsmoke: Gilt Guilt (#10.31)" (1965)
Jake: [in an argument with Doc] I'll blow your ears off.
Matt Dillon: All right now, just a minute here. You two keep this up your going to have a stroke and if you do I'll throw you both in jail.
Doc: That's a great remedy for a stroke.
Matt Dillon: Yes, I might add another charge too. Disturbing MY peace.

"Gunsmoke: Perce (#7.1)" (1961)
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: If I'd known you were coming, I'd have left something, Chester
Chester Goode: I was only trying to figure out what you had to eat.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: You could ask me.
Chester Goode: Oh. Well, what was it?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I don't know.
Chester Goode: What!
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I ordered beef stew, but what they brought me I couldn't say.

"Gunsmoke: The Guitar (#1.35)" (1956)
Doc: Well, I wonder if they had time to enjoy it?
Matt Dillon: Enjoy what?
Doc: The hanging they wanted so all fired bad.

"Gunsmoke: Which Dr. (#11.26)" (1966)
Argonaut: Are you kin to Alfie Hominy Haggen?
Festus: [trying to show how close they were] Kin? Why were second cousins on my Aunt Floter's side. Me and Alfie's always been as close...
Argonaut: If I ever set eyes on him again I'm going to put a bullet square through his sidewinding head.
Festus: Wait a minute, I ain't done yet. What I'd fixen to say is me and Alfie ain't never been close. Why they's something about him I'd just never could stand.
Argonaut: [asking Doc] Are you a Haggen?
Doc: Don't get insulting with me

"Gunsmoke: Doc's Revenge (#1.29)" (1956)
Chester: It kind of feels like somebody stuck a butcher knife in there and just turned the handle on me.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll give you some free advice. Stop puttin' all that salt pork in your stomach and those dried beans, and get some fresh greens in there. That's what you need. And stay out of saloons.
Chester: It don't hurt that bad.

"Gunsmoke: The Foundling (#19.18)" (1974)
Festus: [Festus making goo-goo sounds to baby only to turn around and see Doc] Why don't you let a fellow know your around, you come slipping up like a blane old coyote through a fog.
Doc: What are you doing to that baby?
Festus: Well, I'm making her laugh.
Doc: Making her laugh? With an ugly face full of whiskers like that? You'll scare her to death.

"Gunsmoke: Snakebite (#4.15)" (1958)
Doc Adams: [Inquires whether Chester will be coming to breakfast] Does Chester know about it?
Marshal Matt Dillon: Yeah. Yeah, he just stopped off at Moss Grimmick's to pay him some money before he loses it.
Doc Adams: Loses it? What is it - women or gambling this time?
Marshal Matt Dillon: You know Chester, Doc. He can lose money just standing around in the shade.

"Gunsmoke: Doctor's Wife (#10.5)" (1964)
Jennifer May: There's nothing wrong with being important and making money.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Not a thing. But, maybe, if that's all you want, you came to the wrong place. I'm here because I like the town. I like the people in it - not because I'm getting rich on them.
Jennifer May: Before we came you were the only doctor here. You must have making plenty of money.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I think you've got the wrong idea about Dodge. You haven't seen the shacks, the dirt farmers bending their backs out of shape trying to get something - anything - to grow out of that dust and rock. The women looking fifteen years older than they are... You know my usual fee? A bunch of greens, maybe a skinned rabbit, sometimes a sack of potatoes - but usually it's just a handshake and, "Sorry, Doc, but I'll pay you something soon as I can."
[Jennifer stares at the floor]
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Look here, I've got a couple of calls to make outside of town. I'd like you to go with me.

"Gunsmoke: The Queue (#1.10)" (1955)
Marshal Matt Dillon: I always thought I was kinda humble.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: You're about as humble as a turpentine cat.

"Gunsmoke: Old Yellow Boots (#7.2)" (1961)
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: What's the matter with you this morning?
Chester Goode: I got a pain, Doc, right in there...
[Chester pokes himself in the ribs]
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, well, why didn't you come upstairs?
Chester Goode: Oh no. Oh no, I couldn't do that.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No, you'd rather stand out here in pain all day, wouldn't you. You'd rather hang around hoping to catch me on the fly than come up and make a regular visit.
Chester Goode: Doc, it ain't that. I just couldn't climb them stairs, the shape I'm in.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: And the pain... it's so bad you couldn't bear to put your hand in your pocket for the two dollars you'll owe me, could you?

"Gunsmoke: Widow's Mite (#3.35)" (1958)
Marshal Matt Dillon: What's bothering you?
Doc: Oh, nothing, I was just thinking how natural you're beginning to look sitting her on Front Street every day, same chair, fiddling around, trying to make people think you're busy.
Marshal Matt Dillon: Boy, you're sure starting early this morning.
Doc: What?
Marshal Matt Dillon: The same old growl. What's the matter? Is business bad or something? What do you want me to do go out here and shoot someone's toe off so you can amputate their leg and make a big fee?
Doc: Heavens, no, I wouldn't want you to do anything like that. Matter of fact, I recommend you keep that gun in your holster at all times. With that thing in your hands and your eyes closed the way they are most the time anymore, you're the most dangerous man I ever saw.
Marshal Matt Dillon: Dangerous? Let me tell you something. You kill more people by accident than I do on purpose.
Doc: Well, what do you mean by that?
Marshal Matt Dillon: Yeah, you take their temperature,they're as good as gone.

"Gunsmoke: Honor Before Justice (#11.24)" (1966)
Kitty: [with most busy Doc has no one to talk with] Look, why don't you go on down to the Long Branch and talk with Sam. He's there.
Doc: I don't want to talk with Sam.
Kitty: Why not?
Doc: Well, he's not a pretty as you are.